Monday, July 23, 2012

NANCY & DENNIS ON FEMALE-LED: TAKING HER NAME IN MARRIAGE


When Nancy and I married, Feminism seemed to suggest that a woman keep her name. Some women hyphenated their names as a practical transition to a married name, but many Feminists hyphenated as a way of keeping their identities in a patriarchal world. Unlike their hyphenating sisters who eventually dropped their “maiden” names, these women kept both or eventually transitioned back to their own name.

Fast forward to today and we have many women and a few enlightened men looking to go the other way—that is, having the man take HER name in marriage. Both as Feminists and as participants in a progressive marriage, we find this prospect very exciting. His taking her name is a very viable option of the many that a woman has. Consider the advantages it brings:

  • Keeps her professional identity
  • Avoids cumbersome hyphenation or merging of a couples names
  • Provides a common family name
  • Carries her family name forward
  • Makes a strong Feminist statement
  • Shows her strength, independence and professionalism
  • Establishes him as a “modern man”
  • Recognizes her career and his support of it
  • Shows deference to her
  • Illustrates his love for her
  • Establishes a foundation for a female-led marriage
  • Cuts male bonds that obstruct the path to a female-led relationship

Whether or not a couple anticipates a progressive relationship, they are making a profound statement about their relationship and attitudes. In our experiences the couples who take the woman's name in marriage all gravitate to a progressive relationship with the woman in charge.

Note that when we say he will take her name, we mean that he will legally change his name after the wedding as does a woman in a traditional patriarchal marriage. He'll have to change his name on such things as his driver's license, passport, tax records, credit cards, bank accounts, his employer records, business cards, etc.

Each state and the federal government has its own rules for changing names. Our patriarchal society seems to make it easy for a woman to take her husband’s name but not necessarily for a man to take his wife's. We suggest that couples consult an attorney and understand what the processes are. With the help of an attorney, the legal system will likely present few problems; family and friends, however, will likely object to such an avant-garde arrangement. The couple should be proactive in addressing these issues and objections. Our experience is that it is best to start early to condition family and friends to the couple's choice.  Remember, you are informing family and friends of your choice, not asking for their approval.

We know of a man who was a small college English teacher. He was marrying a woman who had a lucrative dental practice and earned many times his meager salary. Naturally, she had a vested interest in maintaining her name professionally, but he still felt it desirable to have a couple share a name in marriage. He was curious about taking her name and spoke with Nancy and me about the possibility, wondering how his fiancée would react. We assured him that she would be delighted, and soon after he offered his taking her name to hers as an engagement gift; she was thrilled and immediately accepted as we knew she would.

Now it was time to make the couple's intentions known within their families. When Carol announced their engagement at a family gathering she also told her family that they would have a new family member as Jim was taking her name. The women were very excited and accepting, proclaiming Jim as a “modern man.” In light of the women's excitement, the men in Carol's family kept any comments they might have had to themselves.

Jim's family, on the other hand, was very vocal in its disapproval. They blamed Carol for manipulating Jim and making his taking her name a condition of marriage. His brother warned that this was a bad sign and that Carol was likely to “take over” after the wedding (which, of course, sounds like a big plus to Nancy and me!).
 
Now one might expect that the women in Jim's family would see his action as a small victory for women, but they, too, objected.  Further, the women pledged to use Jim's name as tradition dictated on all correspondence and gifts. Some of the men even threatened to boycott the wedding! All this over a name?

Our engaged couple were only strengthened by these objections and took action to remedy this situation.

  • They accepted that some of his family might not attend their wedding.
  • They made it known that gifts and cards using other than their chosen married name would be politely returned.
  • They sent out engagement announcements that said that Carol Fisher and Jim Roberts were engaged and would become Carol and Jim Fisher
  • Their wedding invitations invited guests to witness Carol Fisher and Jim Roberts being united in holy matrimony to become Carol and Jim Fisher
  • They had the minister introduce them after marrying them as Carol and Jim Fisher.
  • They put a wedding announcement in two local papers.
  • Jim sent out name change announcement to family and friends and sent out “at home” announcements indicating his new address with only his new name.

Jim decided to hyphenate his names; he's now Roberts-Fisher at his small college where he is regarded as a hero and a modern man for taking his wife's name. Asked how long he intended to hyphenate, Jim said “forever” since he viewed this not as a way to transition to a married name but as a way to illustrate that he had taken his wife's name.

The objections they received solidified Carol and Jim's resolve, and the couple is well on their way to a progressive relationship. They are both VERY happy!

As an interesting side note, we frequently have inquiries from women at the Women's Center where we work about options for married names. Most are excited at the possibility of him taking her name. Occasionally we have a man come in who, like Jim, wants to take his future wife’s name and needs information and encouragement. We were able to assure Jim that his future wife, Carol, would be thrilled were he to offer to take her name because she was in our center only a week earlier exploring the possibilities. We like to think we helped both of them.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

New Guest Columnists: Nancy and Dennis – Evangelists for Female-Led Relationships


(Note from Mark Remond: While I continue on “indefinite hiatus” to pursue other writing projects, I am delighted to be able to turn this space over to two highly qualified and experienced advocates of female led relationships—“Nancy and Dennis,”a female-led couple for more than 25 years. In fact, as I noted in an earlier post (August 13, 2008), “Where Have You Gone, Nancy and Dennis?”), they have taken it farther, “not only advocating but evangelizing for female-led relationships.” For many years now, with Nancy naturally taking the lead, they have been conducting workshops at women’s centers where they “advise women to take control of their relationships and do so by becoming more demanding of their men.” To my great good fortune, Nancy and Dennis have agreed to do a series of guests posts for readers of Worshipping Your Wife. They will be exploring the same topics they cover in their FLR workshops; and, of course, will respond to any comments or questions that interest them.

*

I met my wife, Nancy, in college at a NOW meeting. We were – and are – both Feminists dedicated to the Woman's movement. We were both active in sit-ins, marches, and grass roots organizing. We're still active Feminists and these activities are very important to us and to the ultimate success of the Woman's Movement. The female-led relationship we have is rooted in our Feminism.

We came to put our Feminist beliefs into practice in our own lives in the form of a very workable Female-led marriage. Our experiences growing up predisposed us to just such an arrangement. Nancy grew up in a family with a tradition of female-led households. There was a hierarchy in place as well a variety of rules that ensured men knew what was expected of them. Having grown up in an all-female household I wanted to find a strong woman to guide me. I wasn't an hour into my first visit home with Nancy that I realized that in Her I found the woman I was seeking.

Our marriage has blossomed with each of us fulfilling our respective dominant and submissive dispositions. Nancy and her mother are in charge of our household. Nancy is focused on her career but also manages our finances, plans a social agenda, and makes the majority of decisions. I have put my career on the back burner in deference to Nancy and focus on domestic concerns. I am responsible for housework and have a routine of cleaning, washing, ironing, and looking after the women and their guests. Nancy's mother resides with us and manages my day-to-day activities. I defer to her as I would to Nancy. Between Nancy and her mother rules and standards are well documented. Knowing what to do and how frees me from any need to make decisions, a wonderful feeling. Besides, I get enough decision-making in work and am happy to defer to the women at home. There is immense satisfaction from looking after the needs of one's wife, pampering her, and relieving her of the drudgery of routine tasks and household chores.

Nancy and I are active in promoting female-led relationships, which we term “progressive” relationships since terms such as “female-led” sometimes bring the wrong ideas to women. Many women look at “female-led” as being the thing of male fantasy but accept “progressive” as something that is desirable to them. Through local churches and feminist groups we conduct workshops to help women explore, adopt, and grow in progressive relationships. We’ve had women from across the socioeconomic spectrum, but the majority of woman are professionals who want something different from a typical patriarchal marriage. They want to explore the possibilities and are always surprised to learn what can be done.

Our efforts have two main thrusts. The first is directed at women. We encourage women to be assertive and take control of their relationships. We advise women on practical steps to establish and enforce their authority—the most important of which is having financial control, but also things such as having written rules, roles, and standards and keeping hubby productively occupied. There are many other things, too, things like a written agreement that specifies her expectations and his obligations after marriage. Women can proceed at their own pace but their end goal should be control of the relationship; if her man is enlightened enough to see the advantage of such an arrangement, then she should accelerate the pace.

The second thrust concerns men and how a man deferring to a woman surrendering isn't a bad thing at all. In fact, men are very happy in a relationship when things are spelled out for them. Men don't know what women want, so women have to tell them. When they realize what their wife wants, men will act appropriately and, in fact, continually do more for her. I often accompany Nancy to workshops and attest to my happiness in a female-led relationship.

We’d like to build on this and discus issues of interest. We are most interested in sharing our ideas and hearing about what others are doing, what works for them. We welcome any questions and will answer them as time permits. In future posts, Nancy and I can discuss our roles in more detail as well as broader issues such as men taking a woman's name in marriage, which is always a topic of discussion with women who are exploring progressive relationships.

*

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Beneath Her Hem


Although this blog remains on “indefinite hiatus,” I wanted to pop back in to reprint, in its entirety, “Beneath Her Hem,” a short story by a fellow writer, Eosuchus, which I excerpted in a posting last December, “A Day in the Life, Part 1.”

“Beneath Her Hem” is a bit racier than my usual postings, but full of dutiful devotion to what the author and protagonist are convinced is the superior sex. It belongs to what I would call the “Day in the Life” genre, chronicling the quotidian routines and rewards of a wife-worshipping househusband, blissfully serving his wife and daughters in a matriarchal marriage. Similar nonfictional  journalistic passages have appeared in various FLR blogs and message boards, and I find them all the more stimulating for the routine nature of the descriptions of a wife-led marriage as it is lived.

The author’s copyright appears at the end:  Copyright--Permian Systems 1997. It  is reprinted here with the author’s permission.  – Mark Remond

***

BENEATH HER HEM by Eosuchus: A light-hearted fantasy of daily life in an idealized FDFS household.

Characters: Elinor Yates and Steve Yates-Simpson. Their daughter Katherin , 14; second daughter, Jennifer, 12.

Elinor is an attorney specializing in small company law. Works for many femsupreme and feminist causes, earns around $90,000 a year. Steve is a hard-working househubby, also a freelance illustrator and artist, earns $35,000 or so. Good with his hands. They are doing pretty well financially for their part of America in the late 1990s. But they are saving hard for early retirements and college for their girls. They live comfortably, but there aren’t a whole lot of extras. Elinor runs a tight household. Her daughters know their dad’s sex role. In her teen -rebel phase, Katherin treats him badly. Jenni tries to protect him.

***


The morning began early for Steve Yates-Simpson, 43. At six-thirty he was up and out running his daily three miles. At seven he was fixing coffee and doing push-ups in the kitchen. At seven-fifteen he was taking breakfast on a tray upstairs to his wife, Elinor Yates, 44. He woke her with a kiss on the toes and while she drank her coffee he massaged her feet and calves. She didn’t feel like oral sex that morning, although often she did, so he was downstairs a little early that day. While he started the girls’ breakfasts, he ate his own and skimmed the newspaper on the Internet service.

During the morning CNN news he thought about his dinner menus and added some things to the shopping list. Then thinking about lists, he checked his daily schedule. Katherin, his fourteen-year-old rebel and bully, had booked the dad driving service to be taken downtown at three-thirty in the afternoon for a two-hour stint at the record shop and then the mall. Jenni, his friend, had soccer practice at four-fifteen. Shopping would have to be squeezed in there. Steve would be driving about twenty-nine miles in that period, here, there, back here, back there and finally home. The morning was available for the laundry and vacuuming. Plus a quick once-over for the house. It was Thursday already and Friday was always a special night, particularly if Elinor saw lint or crumbs anywhere. Elinor’s rule of her household was strict and her demands were many. Steve was always a busy man, as a result.

His daughters appeared for their breakfasts. Katherin had toast that morning, with tomatoes, avocado and skim milk yogurt. She also ate bran flakes and skim milk and she ate fruit. And that was all she ate. Ever.


This did have the advantage for Steve of being easy to remember. He never ran out of the things that Katherin ate.

Jennifer ate a more broadly based diet. She shared with him a bowl of oatmeal stirred with a little maple syrup.

The girls left for schoolbuses promptly at 8.30 and 9.00.

“See you this afternoon, girls,” he said.

“Don’t be late, Dad!” said Katherin in her dominatrix voice. Since Katherin turned thirteen and had discovered what Steven’s relationship with Elinor was really about, she had decided she was going to emulate her mother. That meant she was now of higher rank than Steve. Steve had not accepted this and Elinor had not allowed Katherin to start ordering him around. Still Katherin refused to respect her father in any way.

“See you, Daddy,” said Jennifer with a hug and a kiss.

He watched them go affectionately. Katherin’s anger wasn’t unexpected. She was in a stage of life when conformity was really important. She didn’t conform to society’s norms, of course, but to her own peer group, fans of Hole and novo hardcore groups. Bright girls and boys, with their heads shaved sometimes. With lots of piercings sometimes. Who hung at the mall, but away from the crims and dopers. And who definitely didn’t hang at school things.

At nine-thirty Elinor would take her first calls. Until then Steve would perform his secretarial role. Promptly at nine the calls began. First the USU agency about the copy, then Martha Lander, then Jean Ruger, then Jane Boyle. Then the snippy woman at Grace & Favor PR company. Steve took calls while he cleaned up everyone’s breakfast things and tidied up the kitchen and finished the shopping list.

When Elinor entered the office, Steve went upstairs and broke down the big bed in which they slept as man and wife, except for those nights when Steve slept somewhere else, like in the cage kept in the big closet or wrapped around the bidet. Elinor was expert with ropes and cuffs. He pulled out the sheets and dropped them in the plastic laundry hamper he now carried from room to room. He gathered underwear, socks, t-shirts, sweats, towels, shirts, pantyhose and bore it away to the basement. He sorted it and began a complex wash cycle.

Upstairs he checked on the dishwasher, emptied it and went over the kitchen with an eagle eye. Crumbs were lurking behind the counter stool. He whistled as he dusted them up and put them carefully into the garbage bin. One more careful check. Elinor might come into the kitchen at any time from about this moment on. Elinor had better not find anything at all to be critical of in the kitchen.

He went up to the bedrooms again and remade the big double bed. The girls got clean sheets twice a week and they weren’t due for a change yet. He went over the bedroom carefully, with duster and damp cloth. It was time to vacuum, which he did everywhere but in Katherin’s room. Katherin was in the process of trying to forbid any access to her room. She put her dirty clothes out in the morning for him and did her own vacuuming at Elinor’s insistence.

Vacuuming until everything was meticulous took a half-hour and by then the laundry was ready for the drier. He spent the next thirty minutes with the drier. While he moved the complex batch of clothes, all with different drying and washing times, through the drier, he did his weight-lifting exercises in the little gym area set aside for him next to the washer and drier. That day was the third in his regular cycle. He did ten sets of twelve repetitions of overhead press with a fifty pound weight. Nothing too heavy, but enough to work up a sweat and to really keep his shoulder muscles limber and strong. One thing Elinor really liked about Steve was his body, which he kept at “slave boy” perfection, even at the age of forty-three. Elinor liked to boast occasionally to friends that her husband’s body looked and felt like that of a twenty-five-year old’s.

While he worked out he checked in on the news. The weather looked good for the weekend. The cookery woman was going to be back with a recipe for a cake that tasted heavy but was actually light in cals and fats. He punched his VCR to tape this section.

When the presses were done he picked up ten-pound handweights and moved them through a series of tone and shape exercises.

At last the drying was finished and he carefully folded the garments of the women of his household and took them upstairs in a plastic hamper. Behind him the washer chugged in the cycle as it washed the sheets.

He put everyone’s clothes away, except Katherin’s which were left outside her door in a neat pile on a chair. Then he tackled the bathroom. There wasn’t much to do. The bidet, toilet and bathtub fixtures gleamed. A quick wipe and spray with germ-killer, a wipe of the mirror and a little polishing here and there of metal surfaces were all that was needed. He almost missed a thumbprint on the door, but got it on his way out.

He was ahead of the game this morning. Good. It was time to get to work. He headed downstairs and went past the kitchen to the garage and the studio above it where he worked.

He had a few phone calls to make and then he got down to work on some graphics he was making for a Domme’s website. The job was worth a thousand bucks and the Lady Gennifer was something of a friend of Elinor’s. One of the new class of Internet friends that were now springing up all over the world.

Elinor certainly had a lot of these new friends, all of whom shared her supremacist views regarding women and marriage. Steve’s skill as a painter and illustrator had been put to good use in service of the cause. There were now several customers who paid good money for his original drawings of female dominants and male slaves. Elinor advertised them heavily on her website and also on the combined website she shared with several other women of her persuasion in the North East.

That day Steve was working on a stunningly effective graphic of a sensuous looking woman spanking a man while two young girls stood to one side and watched with bright, fascinated eyes. The females were clothed, the man almost naked with his pants pulled down around his ankles. His buns were bright red. His head and shoulders hung down over the woman’s legs, his arms were tightly bound behind him, wrists to elbows. His body was lean and well muscled. The woman was generous of form and proportions, wearing a tight sweater and short skirt, nylon pantyhose and medium high heels. Her expression was almost perfect, exuding a happy sense of power and sexy authority. Her hair was cut to the shoulder in a soft coifed look quite at odds with the power in her shoulders and breasts as she kept the man pinioned across her knees and spanked him with her open hand.

Steve was working in gouache and a soft wash and tweaking the fine detail on the woman’s and the girls’ expressions. The girls were particularly difficult. They had to convey an element of surprise, awe and pleasure. It was complex and not easy to get perfect.

Steve was a perfectionist, though, and he loved his work. An hour slid by happily and the picture reached that level where he was prepared to let it go. He glanced at the clock. It was time to get back to the house. Lunch was coming up.

He darted out of the studio and back to the kitchen. Elinor was still in her office, still on the phone, probably with the assholes at Grace and Favor. He chided himself, they were women, not assholes. Women were always right, that was the rule. It was just that these particular women were behaving like assholes over this booklet Elinor had prepped for them. Steve believed in femsupremacy, it was an article of faith for him, but he recognized that women were still people and they had their faults.

He moved quickly around the kitchen in an intricate ballet as he opened the refrigerator and removed sundry foods, then took out the implements and boards to prep them on. In ten minutes a handsome-looking sandwich on homemade bread was ready and a salad just needed dressing to go.

Elinor had seen the clock. She was prompt as usual.

“That looks wonderful, darling.” She was going to sit in the kitchen and eat while she watched him work. It was one of their long-term “scene” activities.

Steve put on an apron with a pink surrounding frill and cleaned up the mess from making the sandwich and salad. He put some toast down for himself and filled a very small bowl with walnuts and cashews. He drank a glass of water and then did little odd jobs, cleaning around the kitchen while Elinor watched him.

“Steve, take off your shirt and pants,” she said. Steve felt himself getting excited. Elinor wanted to scene. The scening between them was always very strong.

He did as he was told, of course and put his clothes out of sight in a cupboard. Elinor ordered a very small glass of white wine from the chiller. When he brought it for her she squeezed and pinched his ass.

“I see a spot down there on the floor,” she announced pointing to the tile right beside her stool. He got down on his knees to wipe the floor for her. By the time he’d finished that to her satisfaction she was pointing her foot at him for his kiss.

“I think my shoes need a buff, what do you think?”

He moved to buffing her shoes with a little chammy that he kept in the corner closet for just this purpose. As he finished buffing each shoe, she raised her foot a little so he could plant a heavy kiss on her instep.

Elinor told him to come stand behind her and massage her neck and shoulders. While he did so her hands manipulated his penis and testicles. After a while she turned and pulled him to her and kissed him hard and smacked his behind a few times, not a spanking, just dominant love play. His cock throbbed and pulsed and issued a glob of pre-ejaculate that he caught on a piece of paper towel before it could land on Elinor’s thigh. Goddess help him if that ever happened!

The scene was over after a few more kisses. His hard-on still throbbed, but Elinor was not about to let him come just then. She made him kneel for a minute of contemplation. He controlled his breathing as she had trained him to do over the years and his erection slowly subsided.

“How’s your morning going?” he asked after a little while when the tremor wouldn’t show in his voice.

“So so, those people at Grace and Favor are a pain. But I think we’re making progress. Martha had a horror story to relate. Bill’s got heart disease for sure.”

“Oh no, he’s only fifty.”

“He’s eighty pounds overweight. Martha’s lost control of Bill. She’s considering divorce. Doesn’t see why she has to live with a walrus who’s killing himself with an addiction to ice cream.”

“There but for the grace of the Mother,” he said trying to be as good a wiccan man as possible.

“Yeah,” she smiled at him. “Right. So how was your morning?”

“Good, I think I really got my spanking lady’s expression right. Would you take a look, if you have a chance?”

She smiled. “Love to darling.” She looked at the clock. “Mmm, precious, I would really like to go upstairs and have you eat me from end to end, but it will have to wait. I’ve got to call USU and do this conference.”
Elinor gone, he checked laundry, moved the sheets to the drier and then went back to his studio.

For the next two and a half hours he devoted himself to idea sketches for a series he was doing for a private customer. In these sketches a man was bound up with rope and then punished in a variety of ways by a middle-aged woman wearing sweat pants, bra and Reeboks. The best one in his opinion was the one that had the woman flogging the man with a leather belt after tying him over an old fashioned TV console. There was a scattering of porno videos on the floor, some broken. He was tied up with clothesline, with his pants pulled down below his knees. She was whopping away on him with that big leather belt. His ass was cut and striped quite thoroughly. The woman was getting a workout.

His watch beeped him and he set aside his work, went down and took the car out and drove to Katherin’s school. Traffic was light and he made it in time. Katherin was pretty quick coming out and she got into the back, as was her habit. He drove her to the mall where she exited with a curt, “I’ll be back here at five-thirty. OK? Don’t leave me hanging around here.”

He drove to Jennifer’s school and collected her and a couple of her friends and drove them to the soccer fields. Jennifer’s friends sometimes asked him why he always did the driving. He explained that his wife’s work had to be done in the day, but his own could be finished up later on. She just didn’t have the time in the day and he did.

He let them loose, the Blue Devils versus their archenemies, the Southside Grasshoppers. The green fields were covered in girls playing soccer and, farther away, some softball games. It was nice to get outside, he told himself, taking a few deep breaths.

Then he drove down to the shopping center and did his usual high-speed run through the Shoprite, getting everything on the list and out of the checkout in under twenty-six minutes.

Then it was time to go and pick up Katherin, who had waited exactly a minute for him and was mighty pissed off.

“Dad! You’re supposed to be here for me. What if some creep had been bothering me?” This was a big thing for her at this time, there were “creeps” all over and they bothered girls who went around in black leather, tight skirts and torn stockings.

He apologized. It was the best policy. When he just said he was sorry she usually quit. She grumbled and fell silent as they drove through greener fields to the soccer fields. Blue Devils were gathered around in a sombre mood. They had lost 3-2.

Jennifer was upset. She rode in the back while her friend Sansi rode up front. Sansi was a very bright child with parents who were second generation immigrants from the Indian subcontinent. She was also a great winger and had scored six goals that season. Sansi was philosophical about losing that day. Their goalie had just had had a bad one.

He and Sansi talked soccer all the way back to the school parking lot where he dropped her off. She lived just beyond it, where her father had his medical practice.

Back home he let the girls out and then unloaded the groceries onto the Red Flyer wagon. It took about ten minutes to get all the groceries put away and then it was time to put together a nice little dinner for his women. While he worked he ate a bowl of bran flakes with skim, a papaya, a couple of kiwi fruit, some dried apricots and figs and another tiny bowl of nuts. He washed this down with a ginseng spritzer. Elinor and Jennifer came in to eat together. They enjoyed a vegetarian casserole with homemade bread, baked the day before, but still fresh-tasting. Elinor had white wine and Jenni had milk. For dessert there was a nice piece of chocolate cake to split between them.
Elinor had had a good conference and was in a cheerful mood. She and Jenni were going to play some music together later. Jenni was an intermediate pianist and organist and Elinor played electric guitar. They liked to do blues tunes together. Jenni was in the middle of a vast exploration of blues and women’s blues. Wimmin’s or Womyn’s music it was sometimes called, and it was the hot thing in their house.

Katherin remained in her room until everyone had left the kitchen. Then she would appear and raid it for her own meal like a raccoon or some wild animal that was never to be actually seen at night.

Steve went back to work in the studio. He had a neat little Java applet graphic he was finishing up for another pro Domme’s web page. The graphic showed a slave male being ridden by a woman with a riding crop. The man crawled along on all fours and the woman rode on him and cropped his behind every couple of strides. She was a Betty Page-type character with knee-high boots and the man was a huge, football player type.       

He worked through the evening and made some solid progress on the graphic; it would be ready to send to the client the next day. Then he shut down the computer and hurried down to the basement where he pulled out the sheets and got the iron hot and started pressing them. Elinor liked everything neatly pressed and put away before the end of each day. Laundry wasn’t allowed to hang around getting moldy in bins, nor were cleaned sheets left sitting in driers.

When they were done and everything was put away, he hurried back upstairs. Elinor was on her computer, chatting on the IRC, which she did most evenings for an hour or two. Jenni was finishing her homework at the dining room tables. Katherin was? Well who knew what Kath was up to in her sacred tower?

Steve went back downstairs to his little shower stall and took a good shower. Then he carefully inspected his ass and thighs. Elinor didn’t like to see hair on a man’s ass. It was disrespectful of her in her role as Matrimonial Disciplinarian in the household. She didn’t like to see hair on his thighs either. She didn’t mind it on his genitals, or even a little on his chest. Nor did she make him shave his armpits like some of her friends made their husbands do. So he had things to be grateful for, which went without saying, of course. Still it was a difficult trick, shaving one’s legs and ass to make sure that not a single dark curly hair would be there to anger one’s woman and overlord. He soaped and shaved and inspected carefully with mirrors and flashlight. When he was sure he hadn’t missed anything he dressed in bedtime silks and went upstairs. Jenni was in the bathroom. She heard him go by and she called out “Good night, Dad, I love you.”

“Good night, Jenni.”

Jenni stuck her head out. “Good luck, Dad. Mom’s in a real good mood tonight.”

“Thank you, Jenni.”

It was a strange mixture of parental love and humiliation that filled him as he said it. Sometimes it was hard being a father in a household run on femsupremacy rules. Still, for Steve there was no other choice.

Inside the bedroom he turned down the coverlet and gave the room a once-over inspection. Then he knelt on the floor in his usual place, where a fluffy pink rug was set for Elinor to step into bed from.

Elinor came in softly singing a Web-blues tune she was fond of. She smiled as she closed the door behind her.

“I think your spanking lady is just perfect, honey,” she said as she sauntered up to him. “Gennifer will love it.” As she came she pulled aside her nightgown to show him the filmy pink panties she was wearing. His cock hardened instantly in his tight silk undershorts.

“Mmm, we missed out this morning, need double duty tonight.” She took his head by the hair on the back and held him while she swung one leg over his shoulder and pressed her panty crotch to his face. She held him thus a moment so he could breathe in her intimate scent and then swung it back and turned and pulled her gown away from her shoulders and dropped it to him. She looked down at him over her shoulder while she lifted her hair up in her hands and slowly rocked her hips up and down so that her buttocks moved hypnotically in front of his eyes. When she pressed her ass backwards towards him, that was Steve’s signal to put his hands on her hips. She put her own hands on her heavy breasts and lightly fingered her nipples while Steve began to worship her ass.

It was Thursday night, and a night for uncomplicated lovemaking. Elinor loved to receive oral sex and she had trained Steve to do it in all the ways she liked. When she’d had all of that she could take she would reward her husband in one of several ways. Either vanilla sex, with her on top, or a reward face-sit during which she would masturbate him three or four times. Either way when she was finished, his balls would be empty.

And thus the day ended, with Steve cuddling his wife and ruler as she slipped happily into sleep, served and serviced to the absolute limit of a man’s ability.

Copyright--Permian Systems 1997.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

On Indefinite Hiatus


Regrettably but necessarily, I am going to be taking an indefinite hiatus from this blog to pursue other writing projects. I have enjoyed the journey thus far, and all the friends and companions I have met along the way, and hope to be able to return here at some future time.

In the meantime, the two Wife Worship books will remain available and I will leave the blog intact and open to comments (though I will delete inappropriate ones).

Adios for now,
Mark Remond

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Gifting the Queen



In this gift-giving season, I often feel like the Little Drummer Boy— too poor to buy a respectable present for the newborn King. Or, in my case, for my wife Queen.

I dream of extravagant romantic Christmas gifts for her. Like on the TV commercial with the new Lexus parked in the driveway wrapped in a red satin bow.

We have a friend who, on special occasions, has whisked his bride off to London for a theatrical opening, or to Paris for just a romantic weekend getaway.

What a rush that must be, for knight and queen! Like Sir Francis Drake returning from a profitable voyage and laying his treasure at the slippered foot of Queen Bess.

Romantic fantasyland, perhaps. But all of contemporary husbands have these opportunities in miniature, on holidays and every day, chances for gift-giving to our Queens. Gifts small and large. As one husband confessed to Lady Misato: “I'm always looking for ways to surprise her, from bringing home flowers or little gifts or taking her out to a play and dinner.”

But the grand gift—the airline ticket, the turquoise Tiffany box—are definitely off the menu for me and many other wife-led hubbies. It happened because we opted for another grand and extravagant gift—signing the paperwork to have our paychecks direct-deposited into our wives’ private accounts.

I will never forget the dizzying high of taking that plunge. One husband described it this way: “Relinquishing total financial control to a loving, trusted spouse provides a base thrill, like taking your hands off the steering wheel while going 75 m.p.h., knowing that your life will be controlled by another, to such detail as decided upon by the dominant partner.”

Some wives feel the same way. Beckie Sue, author of several guest posts here, confides her feelings after telling her husband that she wanted his paycheck deposited into her private account:

“After that conversation, my stomach was churning, maybe with some fear, but mostly with excitement. Total financial control over your husband is many times more powerful than control over everything else. I walked away with a real high, like on drugs.”

It is a grand gesture: “Take everything I have, my Queen!” That was my plea, and I was overjoyed that she accepted it. And I’ve never regretted it since. I’ve been inconvenienced, embarrassed, even shamed on occasion by a lack of funds. But no regrets.

Still, the question remains, what to do on my Queen’s birthday, and Christmas, and Valentine’s, and our anniversary? With the small occasional allowance I receive from my wife, even minor extravagances are impossible.

A work colleague gets two-dozen roses delivered to her desk every birthday and Valentine’s by her husband. They’re beautiful, she feels special, and I feel so envious! I can’t do that for my Queen.

Over the years, I’ve asked other wife-led husbands about this dilemma. Here are a few responses, starting with Au876 (from Lady Misato’s original Wife Worship Forum):

“This is in reply to your question of how I could buy my wife expensive gifts. I can't. There is no way possible because I do not have free access to any remotely large sum of money. Yes, if she wants something, she buys it and I must say she does not hesitate to splurge on herself. Before she took control of the finances I would buy her expensive gifts from time to time. She appreciated them but often exchanged them for what she really wanted.

“Now she buys what she really wants. But the big plus is how much more she appreciates the gifts I do buy for her. It may be an inexpensive sweater, some new underwear, candy or even flowers from time to time, but she knows I have had to save back from my allowance to make the purchase and she knows I have given up some pleasures for myself to please her. She seems to appreciate them much more than she did expensive gifts that caused me little hardship.”

And here’s another guy in the same financial straits: “Since I am on an allowance, it is difficult to save up to buy the presents that I’d like to get my wonderful wife, but the ones that I do buy, like flowers or other inexpensive items, makes her much happier. She sees me scrimping; trying to save over a couple of weeks to scrape up about $10, my efforts to keep the gift a surprise all have made her happier with what I get for her. And I get such a feeling of accomplishment, and pride at doing something to please her.”

Good advice, but I can’t seem to save back anything from my husbandly allowance. When I do have a $5 or $10 bill in my wallet, or even a $20, one or both of my kids will “need” it—and I’m back to penury.

So, I have to ask her permission to use the credit card which she lets me carry to buy her a present. But, with money tight, she usually vetoes any extravagance, suggesting practical and inexpensive items. A new art calendar from Staples for her office. A new pillow case cover from Target.

Get the picture. I kneel before my queen, sweep my plumed hat in a courtly gesture, and lay before her two gift-wrapped packages worth perhaps $10. This ceremony, thanks to her discretion, is usually performed in private, not when she is opening costly gifts from friends and family.

Of course, there’s the kind of personal gift that the Little Drummer Boy came up with—a gift of one’s talent. This is what I usually end up doing. Printing out amusing little coupons for her next pedicure or massage. Writing her a sonnet or creating her a DVD with love scenes taken from YouTube romantic video clips.

If I had other artistic talents—like ceramics and watercolors, say—I might give her one of those do-it-yourself “I Love You, Mom” pots or paintings that kids bring home from school on Mother’s Day.

Beckie Sue’s paycheckless husband came up with his own gift-giving solution. He volunteers to work occasional Saturdays, telling her that she should use the money “to buy something special, that I show him so he knows what his overtime bought me.”

A part-time job is another possibility for financing a special gift to one’s beloved. This method figured in a memorable letter to Elise Sutton some years back. Alas, the extravagant surprise gift backfired:

“Finally, to top off our perfect evening, I produced a small wrapped package; a gift I'd researched for a month and couldn't wait to give Her. She opened the package and found a diamond and platinum toe ring and a matching anklet, a perfect match to Her belly ring. She realized how expensive these were and asked how I'd gotten the money for this. My paychecks are all deposited in an account in Her name. I am given an allowance for expenses, especially when She travels, but she realized that even if I didn't eat for a week, I couldn't have afforded this. I proudly told Her that I'd gotten a part-time job at night in a jewelry store, which allowed me to buy the gift at a discount.

“It was a beautiful evening, which I thought was perfect but she didn't seem pleased with my gift. Her face registered first hurt and then anger… {In fact,} I'd never seen Her this angry. She told me of her displeasure with me for taking an extra job without her permission. So much for our perfect evening! She is still angry with me but I will do my best to make it up to her.”


Elise’s comment: “You should have realized that she would not be happy about you making such an important decision without consulting her.”

Go figure!

If all this seems slightly out-of-balance, I agree, it is. But not the way it might appear to someone outside a wife-led marriage. For husbands living this blessed life in the Queen’s service, it seems we have been given the ultimate reward. As one man wrote to Elise Sutton:

“By submitting to my wife, I have been given the greatest gift of all. Each day I wake up and thank God I am me.”