Thursday, June 13, 2013

AMANDA: FEMALE AUTHORITY WITHIN THE FAMILY (PART 1)



In my previous post I discussed some of my past experiences with my brothers, experiences which gave me confidence in controlling males from an early age. There are quite a few stories to tell about that time in my life, as I went on to discover that I could also twist my boyfriends around my little finger. I remember feeling great pride and satisfaction as they became more docile and respectful to me. This gradually led me to embrace my strongly held beliefs in female authority. By the time I met my future husband at university, the die had been cast, and I was determined that I would start our relationship off on the right track—my track!
 
I may discuss the training of my husband George in a future post. This is because I do not want to confuse readers into thinking that what I do with him in private in any way relates to how I bring up my children. It doesn’t. For instance, I have never and I will never use corporal punishment on my children, but I do discipline my husband.

In this post I would like to talk about female authority in our family.

I believe the key to a successful marriage and a happy family life is to establish female control from the outset. If the children ask their father for anything, he will always refer them to me. “Asking Dad" happens much less often now, as the children have picked up on the fact that Mum rules the house! My eldest daughter Louise will be 12 this month, and she completely understands that her father has no decision-making rights and has stopped asking him for anything. The twins, Rachel and Ben, are still only 9 and have not fully understood this yet. With our continued guidance they will gradually learn that it is their Mum who gives or refuses permission to do anything.  Louise is a big help in this regard. She is naturally bossy and has recently told Rachel not to bother asking Dad for anything as he doesn’t have Mum’s permission to make decisions!

Financial control is a good place to start in a loving female-led relationship, and I did this with my husband before we were even married. The sooner this is done, the better, in my opinion. We have a joint account into which our salaries are paid. George has no access to this account though, as I keep the cards and passwords. I provide him with a weekly allowance, the amount of which is determined each week at the Sunday family meetings (more of about this in the next post).

It is important that a man knows his spending can be scrutinized by his wife at any time. By having his allowance limited, George is unlikely to make frivolous purchases. If he wants to do so for some reason, he must ask me first. I decide whether or not his request is reasonable. In this way George’s thoughts are continually focused on me, every time he opens his wallet.

Next is control of the household chores. Quite simply, George does them all! Vacuuming, dusting, cooking, washing and ironing, everything! He only works part time, as my salary is sufficient to keep us in our current lifestyle. Therefore he has plenty of time to do these chores.


Children do pick up on their parents’ behavior. If the parents smoke, it is more likely the children will smoke when they grow up. If they see their parents arguing and fighting, it is more likely that they will do the same and not become valuable members of society.

My children see their father as a happy man who lives in deference to his wife. They see a couple who love one another, and a man who worships his wife and would do anything for her. What better example of family life could we give our children?

Every evening when I arrive home from work, the girls are usually sitting in the living room watching TV while George is cooking. Most often Ben will be with him in the kitchen, perhaps helping to lay the table while they chat together. Ben absolutely adores his Dad!

After we have all greeted and kissed, I make my way to one of the sofas, sit down and start chatting to the children about their school day (Ben has usually joined the girls in the living room by this time). When I sit down, George knows this is his cue to bring me a glass of wine. He then sits next to me on the sofa and what follows is a ritual that we have been doing for many years.

I will turn and put my feet up on George’s lap. He carefully removes my shoes and then gently massages my feet until I tell him to stop. During this whole time we are all still chatting normally as a family. This is seen as perfectly natural by our children. Their father is worshipping their mother by performing this simple, caring task for her.

However I have just implemented a variation on this ritual following some email correspondence with another dominant lady who lives in the Netherlands. She also runs a female led household. After returning from my recent business trip, I told George that in future I would require him to sit on the floor, rather than the sofa, when massaging my feet. I could tell by his expression that he was a little surprised at the request, but I simply raised my eyebrows and he did not complain.

The following day when I arrived home from the office, he followed me as usual into the living room and handed me a glass of wine, but then he paused and looked inquiringly at me. I saw his eyes briefly flit between my feet, resting on the floor, and the vacant seat next to me on the sofa. I looked at him sternly and dipped my finger, pointing to the floor. Only he and I saw the gesture, but he understood immediately and sat down at my feet. Amusingly to me, he rested his back against the sofa (for reassurance perhaps?). But, finding this position awkward, he soon turned around so that he could access my feet in a more comfortable manner.

The children were oblivious to all this and simply carried on chatting with us. Apparently seeing their Dad sitting on the floor massaging his wife’s feet was no big issue to them! It was just Dad serving Mum as usual. After about 10 minutes I ruffled George’s hair as I might a child (another tidbit I borrowed from the Dutch lady, although in her instance, it was her daughter ruffling the father’s hair) and said “Okay, that’s enough, let’s go and eat.” Before he got up, George asked me which shoes I would be wearing the following day, so that he could polish them and have them ready for me.

It is my intention going forward to show more openly George's increasing deference to me in all things. The children will pick up on these nuances and gradually learn that female authority is normal and good.

Having recently read a lot of email correspondence from other dominant women, I can’t help feeling that I have been going a little too easy on George. That will be changing from now on. I have big plans for George and one of them is for him to be spending a lot more time on the floor at my feet!

End of part 1
Ms. Amanda

66 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amanda,

Very interesting, thank you for posting.

- Michael

Sam said...

Excellent reading, thank you Ms Amanda, It certainly sounds like you have your husband pretty much fully obedience trained.

I am particularly interested in the level of authority you award your eldest daughter, Louise in regard to her father. If i may ask, does she have any authority over him or do you consider her too young?

Many thanks

Sam

Amanda FLR said...

Michael - Thank you and keep watching. There will be more posts on this subject.

Sam - My husband is indeed "fully trained". It is my wish to promote Louise to the status of my deputy. This will be handled slowly, stage by stage and be appropriate for her age. I have already given her extra supervisory responsibilities for her brother and for her father. These will be discussed in future posts.

Ms Amanda

NICE_MOHIT said...

excitement created for coming parts

Obedient husband said...

We have pre-teen daughter.
She is fully aware of who wears the pants in the family.
Is that handwriting I see on the wall?

Anonymous said...

You mention that "asking dad" happens much less often. Did he previously have the authority to grant permissions and no longer does?

-D

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for posting this. It was well written and I really enjoy reading about how your own thoughts and musings imeadiately get translated into your household.

All it took was a raised eyebrow and finger pointed to the floor for your husband to get on the floor and obey without question. He must be so well trained!

Your household is really an amazing model for all female led marriages. I am quite excited to learn about the rest of your rituals and how you were able to train your husband to make your relationship the way it is now.

Props to you! I can't wait for your next post. :)

-D

P.S. just as a question, I noticed in the last picture you posted the man was on the floor painting his mistress's toenails. I am sure George does this for you, but I was wondering if George doing this (or any other form of foot worship) is another ritual in your family that you have exposed to your children. So as to better influence them to the fact that females are superior :). Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Just to avoid any confusion, this post by "D" at 11:16 is by a different person than the other D! (Posted at 11:11) perhaps to avoid confusion just refer to me as "Big D" (since my post was longer)

-Big D

Jay Seve said...

Ms Amanda
What a very well interesting insight in to your wonderfull life , your husband is truely a lucky man and your household is very healthy in the way your children see a good father who worships and serves his wife , we have similar rules in our house and my children and there friends are very used to my wife relaxing while I am cooking or cleaning , like yourself Ms Liza has a well paid job in a high position , I am just a plumber so it was decided that even though I work full time as Ms Lizas job is stressful and when She comes home She doesn't want to have to worry about menial tasks , She is better at organising . Also my wages are paid into Her account and I also live on an allowance , but I know as much as Ms Liza socialises and buys clothes and gets pampered etc that She is very good with money so it's for the best , and it has stopped me from taking things for granted and being selfish , it's nice to know there are others who live the same as us , Thankyou Ms Amanda

Amanda FLR said...

Obedient husband - I believe that girls who are brought up in a household with female authority are more likely to use this model for their own future families.

D - George never had any authority. I made this clear to him at the start of our relationship. "Asking Dad" is something all young children will do to start with. It simply takes time for them to understand who makes the decisions. My youngest children are now getting to that stage of understanding.

Big D - My husband is indeed well trained. He has painted my finger and toe nails in the past, but did not really do a good enough job. I prefer going to the salon. However, thank you for bringing up the subject. I believe it may be time to reintroduce George to this service. A man painting his wife's toenails is certainly appropriate behaviour for the children to see.

Jay Steve - I am very pleased to read that you do to these chores in order to serve your wife. Your practical skills help to make her life easier. You are doing what a well trained husband should do, but always remember that you can do more. Ask your wife every day if there is something else you can do for her.

Ms Amanda

Soccerdad1709 said...

George doesn't do a good job with your nails? Sloppy work on her mani-pedi is something my wife won't tolerate. She sent me to the local cosmetology school and arranged with the director for me to have a mani-pedi from one of their advanced students who instructed me in each step of the process.

Then they sold me a professional manicurist kit and all of the necessary products like the buffing block, and bottles of base coat and topcoat.

My wife uses the money she saves from trips to the salon to host her ladies' TGIF parties at our house. And for me, I got a new cocktail serving tray and cheese board.

Anonymous said...

Ms Amanda thank you for this insight in to your domestic life it is most interesting. I was curious as to your career area and what your typical attire is so I can picture the scene of your return home and your daily ritual. Do you wear business suit, uniform,pantyhose, socks or bare feet?

Anonymous said...

I can appreciate a SSC type of relationship like stated, but I see a problem with pushing it onto one's children.

If a man running his household pushed showing respect to all men and deferring to them as "the" correct view, everyone would be up in arms. All children should have the right to decide their own path without this kind of manipulation.

Amanda says that she loves all her children but isn't teaching the girls to respect men. Sounds a little like she takes girls over boys. A position that might lead to a son who ultimately learns to resent women. Especially if he turns out to have a dominant streak like his mother.

Amanda FLR said...

Soccerdad1709 – That is an excellent idea. I will look around my local area for a nail technician course. The cost will of course be deducted from George’s allowance.


Anonymous 1 – I am the head of a department in a large international company. I wear a business suit every day. However I am not going to pander to your fetishes and reveal any further details.


Anonymous 2 – Firstly, all of my children show respect to others, regardless of sex, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion etc. That is the way they have been brought up. What I do not tolerate is offensive language when directed towards the opposite sex. Many of the lyrics in “Rap” music refer to women as bitches. Children pick up on this and start using the term themselves. I have overheard boys using this term on numerous occasions and I always challenge them. This usually embarrasses them, particularly when done in front of their friends or if I threaten to tell their parents (if they are known to me).

It is quite unacceptable behaviour. I do not tolerate it at home, at work and certainly not in the school playground. My children never use this type of language because they have been taught not to. Simple! Parents have to be strict about this.

Boys are naturally more confident than girls and generally grow up with a strong self-belief. Rightly or wrongly, this is not always the case for girls. Girls think they have to conform to stereotypical looks and behaviour, because that is how women are portrayed in the media. I am ensuring that Rachel and Louise do not fall into this trap by giving them confidence at an early age. Supervision of males is part of this process.


While we are on the subject of respect, I wish to make something clear. I will no longer reply to anonymous comments. It is disrespectful not to introduce yourself when speaking to someone face to face. The same applies to comments on blogs. I have previously requested that people use names or pseudonyms. Please do so if you wish me to reply in future.

Ms Amanda

I'm-Hers said...

Ms Amanda,
Loved the post. I both enjoyed it for the way it was written but mostly because you describe a loving, caring, spousal/family relationship, with you at the helm. What peaked my interest was your comment of desiring to become more firm/strict with George after interacting with the Netherlands' Mistress. Why would you want to change what you have? Why push a man further if you already enjoy all that you have now? Is it to work him harder or to move from a more subtle male submission (that your children see) to one that is much more overt? Just curious. Hope you continue to write many more posts. Women, need to hear these words written by peer women, much more so than submissive men do. I wish you well.

Anonymous said...

Ms Amanda,

Thank you for continuing to comment despite the fact that some of the comments were fetish in nature and/or attacked your child raising process instead of politely introducing their conflicting view.

I think that respect for both genders is something that can be learned in conjunction with teaching them gender roles. I look forward to your next article explaining the authority given to your daughters. I suspect it will help them gain confidence in their own decisions along with gaining comfort in the concept of directing male labor to increase the female standard of living.

Another person posted with regard to once your son is old enough to earn money. Turning it over to his sisters or asking their permission before he uses it might be a good way to again introduce the concept of working hard to improve the life of the women. At least to the extent that he understands he shouldn't be working solely for himself.

- Michael

Anonymous said...

repMs. Amanda,

Thanks so much for your posts as I find them inspiring as I seek to further serve my wife and accept her authority over me.

One question, if your hubette already massages your feet every day, what is the purpose of him doing so from the floor instead of setting on the couch with your feet in his lap? I understand that there is a strong symbolism in this of your complete authority, but you already exercise complete authority within a matriarchal home.

Please elaborate.

Thanks,

Lynn

Anonymous said...

I take it your husband has a foot fetish as I know what my feet are like after a hard days work, lol.

How lovely it must be to have established such control in your household and to have found a husband who supports you in your career. My husband is a CEO and would never consider working at home and letting me be sole breadwinner.

Helen x

Amanda FLR said...

I’m-Hers – Yes I am becoming a little stricter with George in front of the children. This is because I am preparing him for changes that are about to take place. Do you remember that I said I had big plans for George? Well I have already spoken to him about some of these. By having him show me a little more deference in front of the children, I am simply making him more receptive to these plans. For instance, Louise is to be given more responsibilities. One of these will be to supervise her father in a limited way on a particular daily task. George is generally very good at doing the household chores, but is woefully inadequate at some important tasks. This will be discussed in a future post.


Michael - Thank you for your kind words. There will always be opposing views in every situation in life, not just on female authority within the family. Discussion and argument are good, as long as they are done in a respectful way. People who post anonymously are not showing respect and should therefore be left out of the discussion.

Please see my previous post for my reply to the comment about Ben’s future pocket money earnings.


Lynn – Symbolism is exactly what it is. Please see my reply to I’m-Hers above. Having George sitting on the floor instead of the sofa is symbolic of his lower standing in the family hierarchy, below his wife.


Helen – Behave! Regardless of your husband’s job, I have found that most men value one thing above all others; the need to please their wives. Just because a man is the CEO of a company, does not mean that he cannot be trained by his wife at home. Start by giving him small tasks and chores. If he does not comply, then start withholding certain privileges. I’m sure you understand what I mean. He will soon come around to your way of thinking.


Ms Amanda

Jake said...

My wife would heartily agree with you and your Dutch mentor in most respects, Amanda. Although she would draw the line at demonstrating it in front of the children, she is particularly strong on the importance of symbolic emphasis of our respective positions in the household.

If I am not actually doing something around the house - when we are both at rest, so to speak - she likes me to be at her feet, whether kneeling or sitting. Talking, drinking a glass of wine, reading - she feels that I am better attuned to her when I am below her in the physical sense. As I am a good nine inches or so taller than her, it also helps to reinforce her household supremacy for the roles to be reversed as a general rule. She also believes that I am less likely to miss a signal that she wishes something to be done.

Your posts seem to reflect much of the daily reality of an FLR.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ms. Amanda,

While I understand the symbolism of having your husband sit at your feet, I guess I disagree in the sense that a wife led home is a matriarchy in the truest meaning of the word. To me, it seems humiliating and demeaning for the man to be forced to sit on the floor while massaging your feet. Instead, it seems that if the goal is a matriarchal family, as long as you and your daughters make the rules and he obeys, then this is being accomplished. Why the need for humiliation?

This is just my view, and I do understand that regardless, if the woman prefers him to be on the floor that is exactly how it should be...

Respectfully,

Lynn

Anonymous said...

Hi Amanda,

I love your posts so far and admire the way you have created a wife-led, harmonious family structure. My question flows from Nancy's blog contributions that have preceded yours. Do you see your family as simply a choice available for like-minded couples or additionally as a societal model? As Nancy has shown most cogently in her report from her firm, new relationships of female power and male subordination are taking shape in the work world. These changes seem to be in part an outgrowth of familial relationships in which the male "will to power" is rapidly receding, while female leadership increasingly becomes the norm, to varying degrees. To my mind a new, female-led world is emerging before us, though most refuse to recognize it. Do you see your family as a contribution to this new world or do you draw a line between the public and private?

LS

Amanda FLR said...

Jake – Thank you for that glimpse into your female led family life. I am pleased that your wife and I both believe the best place for a man is at his wife’s feet.


Lynn – Whether we believe in a matriarchal or patriarchal household, there will always be a hierarchy. George sitting on the floor is not a humiliation for him; it is a show of deference to me. I only requested this of George for the time he spent massaging my feet upon my return home from the office. However, over the last few days, he has started sitting on the floor next to me when watching TV or playing with the children. When I asked him about this, he said “It just feels right.” I do not want to go into too much detail, but George has also been telling me how much he loves me recently. By the way, I have now given him his own cushion!


LS – You asked, “Do I see my family as simply a choice available for like-minded couples or additionally as a societal model?” I believe is very difficult to separate the two. In my opinion, a woman who runs a female led household is very unlikely to be shy and retiring outside of it! In my office, both men and women work for me. I demand the utmost respect from the men and insist that they address me by my full name. I also do not allow any detrimental or bawdy behaviour that may intimidate female staff.


More and more women are gaining supervisory and managerial positions in the workplace. So it is just as likely that a man will now work for a woman as for another man. Therefore I think society is ready to accept powerful women as the norm. Outside of the home we are not overtly blatant about our lifestyle. However George and Ben do hold open the car doors for me and the girls and they also carry our bags. These are things that George has always done and Ben has simply copied his actions. Ben is often complimented by my women friends for these little acts of chivalry, and he glows with pride every time he is praised!

Ms Amanda

Anonymous said...

Hello
i hope this comment is not rude or stupid. I don't want to offend anyone, just a maybe stupid question. I read this article and i'm wondering if it's real, i mean is this blog some kind of sartire to patriarchal systems, where you simply reversed the roles? Or is this your actual real life experience?

For me it's very hard to imagine a female led family. The other way is (unfortunatelly) very commom all around the world. I can hardly imagine that a man would submit himself in a daily basis, of course there are things like dominas and stuff but that's only for an hour or so, i guess.

again sorry if this comment appears rude, this has never been my intention i'm just confused.

\V/ T'pal

Obedient husband said...

Hello T'Pal,
The notion of a female led relationship (FLR) or wife led marriage (WLM) is not a joke. In fact, I suspect that its practice is more common than you'd ever imagine. Also, since you seem open, most couples that practice FLR (or WLM) begin at the request of the man.
It seems that most women, once they have given the lifestyle an honest chance, grow to very much prefer it.
It seems also that more and more young women are growing up quite accepting of the idea. It's no wonder that they are dramatically outperforming the boys in school and university. Best wishes

Obedient husband said...

edit the above: It's no wonder GIVEN that they are outperforming the boys........

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your answer. It is a really interessting lifestyle. I've never heared of flr before, but I think I'm going to read the rest of the blog and see what's it all about.
What I know from patriarchal families is that they usualy are moee harmonious than "normal" families. So why shouldn't it work the other way around. In fact it might even work better, since women are more responsible. I see this a lot in students association I work, if the group leader is female then the work is usually done more efficient.
And yes women are better at universities. I study maths, and even in this typical male subjects the women are usually overall better.
Yet I think we shouldn't forget the inidividual, there are man or woman who are just outstanding leaders and there are also man and woman who are terrible leaders. It wouldn't be fair to say that patri or matriarchy is better. I think it's a question od personal talents and choice

Anonymous said...

Miss your blogging... waiting for parts 2 and 3

Amanda FLR said...

T’Pal – I believe Obedient Husband has succinctly answered your questions. However I cannot help thinking about how you came across this website if the seed of thought about FLR’s had not already been implanted in your mind.

Ms Amanda

Anonymous said...

Amanda thank you and obedient husband for your answers:)
It was an accident that I came across this blog. I helped a friend of mine doing research online for a paper she has to write (practicle aspects of biblical familie values in modern families) and for this we were searching for blogs of woman who obey their husbands. And i wanted to search worship your husband, but was unconcentrared and ended up typiing in worship yor wife. I'd have never imagined that something like this even exists.

It's fascinating but i think not a lifestyle for most women (including myself).

Best wishes
\V/ T'pal

Anonymous said...

Srry but why will be any woman worshipping her husband or any male ?
For tousands years of wars, violénce and abuse, what this low creatures done for us?
Sorry for my english, Im French
With love Amanda
Dominique

Anonymous said...

I agree with you totally you totally Dominique. Men have only brought destruction and hate to this world. That's why I'm not only in favor of matriarchal marriage, but also a matriarchal society.

Ideally, they would develop side by side, but I'm in favor of female led home, and whenever possible encouraging female leadership over society.

Although I'm a man, I just can't imagine our world in 100 years if we men continue to dominate (war, weapons of mass destruction, environmental disasters, gmo foods, etc.)

By the way, are currently involved in a matriarchal relationship? If so, it would be intersting to know some of the dynamics. Is this view widely held in France?

best wishes,
Lynn

Anonymous said...

I dont know how it is in straight relationship. I am lesbian and living in great relationship 8 years. We also have children, thanks coddess they are douchters, mine and my partner. Here is strong opposition by catholic or any patriarchal bigots, but we don t care...
Im glad that there are males, what see what had patriarchy done in history.
Dominique

Amanda FLR said...

T’Pal – I can’t say I approve of your friend’s research. Perhaps she could change it and hand in a paper about men who obey their wives! I am sure her tutor would be most impressed. Even if you do not think this lifestyle is for you, I am pleased that you are now aware of its existence. Please do one thing for me T’Pal. Do not go through life thinking that you are worth less than a male. As a woman of the 21st century, the world is at your feet. Go out there and take it!


Dominique – You sound like a wonderfully powerful woman. Never let the ignorance and bigotry of others affect you. You and your partner are living proof that you do not need males to fulfil your lives. I hope your daughters grow up to know their rightful place in the world. Teach them to be independent and to never rely on any man. Whatever type of relationship they choose in the future, I am sure that you will pass on your knowledge and experience. Good luck!


Lynn – You are right. History has taught us many things. One of these is that patriarchal societies simply do not work. How can it be possible thousands of years after the advent of agriculture that millions of people are still starving in the world? At the same time other countries are spending countless billions on weapons. The fact is that this situation would simply not have arisen if women had been in control. Things are slowly changing. We are at the start of a new dawn of female empowerment. The true matriarchal society may still be somewhere in the distant future, but I have never felt more happy for my children to be part of this change. It is our duty as parents to educate our children and show our daughters that they can make a difference. Then perhaps their children will live in a wonderful and peaceful matriarchal world.


Ms Amanda

Anonymous said...

Dominique- I'm very happy for you. You, your partner, and daughters are truly living in a matriarchal family!!! I hope that through your example, others will see not only the benefits of matriarchy but it's rightful place as the focus of family and society.

I would love to hear more about your family's dynamic and how you relate with men on a day to day basis.

In my youth, I spent a year studying (actually hanging out in cafes and on the beach) in Montpellier, so France holds a special place in my heart as I have very fond memories. Now I visit France every couple of years for business and really enjoy it. Last year my family went with me and it was a beautiful time.

Amanda- Thanks for your insightful comments. I'm trying to raise my two children (boys) to recognize the rightful place of women in both the home and society. It's hard because of the 'macho' influence they feel from friends. While my wife is a strong woman and she knows deep down that women are superior, she has trouble accepting accepting and insisting on true matriarchal rights.

Anonymous said...

Sorry I didn't sign above comment...Lynn

Amanda FLR said...

Lynn – I’m sure you are doing a great job with your sons. If only more fathers were like you, the world would not be in its current mess. There will always be conflicting views from outside influences, but do not worry about the things that you cannot change. Despite what we may think, children really do mimic their parents. I am sure no teenagers would admit to it, but they are influenced more by their parents than anyone else. Please continue your good work.

Ms Amanda

Sam said...

Thank you Ms Amanda, I am pleased to read that you are already awarding your daughter a certain amount of authority over her father and brother.
My mother encouraged my sisters to exercise their authority over me and it was the ideal start for us. I was trained to respect and serve my sisters from a young age and this gave us all the grounding for accepting and seeing the benefits of Female authority.

Sam

Anonymous said...

When can we expect a new chapter in your story Miss Amanda? I have been checking the blog everyday since this post in anticipation :) (I only get 30minutes of computer time a day, but it is very gracious for my Mistress to allow me that much at all =] ).

your story and comments have provided a great deal of insight for my Wife and I. We have not had any children yet but are always pondering about how we will be able to raise them properly, particularly on the topic of a female led relationship

-David

Amanda FLR said...

Sam – Your mother and sisters were very wise to do this. The earlier in life that boys are taught respect for female authority, the better. So many young men grow up without this respect. This can lead to boys getting into trouble at school and even with the law. Perhaps compulsory lessons on female authority for all boys might be the answer!

David – Patience! Part 2 will be posted in the next couple of days. Always make sure to thank your wife for allowing you the privilege of having internet access. There are many different ways of bringing up children, but I am happy if you and your wife pick up some guidance from my posts. Female authority works! My children have never been in trouble and are all doing well at school, particularly Louise who is top of her class in nearly every subject!

Ms Amanda

Sam said...

Thank you Ms Amanda, my early introduction to Female authority certainly played a huge part in my recognizing the reality of innate Female supremacy.

Your idea of lessons on Female authority for boys is something I have heard a good few Women suggest and I’m surprised this is not already the case in schools. When I was a boy, many years ago!, there actually was an emphasis on ‘Female advantage’. There were occasions that quite rightly praised Girls above boys for achieving better exam results…something I believe they try to play down these days. Girls had extra privileges, such as eating lunch first, being allowed to say indoors at playtime if it was raining, leaving morning assembly first while boys stood and waited respectfully…and something I personally got a major telling off for getting wrong…only once I might add!...was not removing the chairs from the table tops first thing in the morning for the Girls to be seated first. My teacher, Ms Baker made me stand for the entire lesson.
This kind of promotion of Females over males did not cause problems, quite the opposite, us boys happily ‘played second fiddle’ to the Girls as they merrily outperformed us in every subject!

I guess lessons on respect for Females and even on the reality of Female Superiority are something for the future when Women have gained control of society.

My girlfriend, her sister and their mother believe a form of National service should still exist for all boys to learn from…I totally agree.

Sam

Anonymous said...

Miss Amanda, I am very sorry if my comment was rudely or poorly worded and made you feel rushed in any way. My wife has punished me accordingly after I read her your response, as in her words I was "Causing people problems again." (I made sure to thank her for punishing me and teaching me how to properly behave afterwards). Please accept my sincerest apologies, it was not my intention by any means to pester or nag you and I should have worded my comment better. Please take your time with your post, I will be happy to read it whenever it is posted :).

Anyways in response to the rest of your post, both my Wife and I are very happy to hear that =). And congratulations to Louise in particular! We are both looking forward to continue living a female led relationship, which will inevitably be something our children are exposed to. However, the problem for us is how much?

For example, in hour household we also have a ritual very very similar to yours, but ours goes a bit farther. One example of that is how while I sit on the floor and massage her feet after a day at work, I kiss her feet as well, and when it suits her I also lick and sometimes even suck on her toes as well. Of course the argument can be made that such things be reserved for the bedroom after children are born, but my Wife (and I as well, although of course my opinion has no significance) feels that part of the symbolism of me doing such things while at her feet is lost when it isn't done everyday when she comes home from her work. And at the same time, the problem with continuing to do this when we have children is that they may feel that foot kissing is a normal part of courtship, equivalent to kissing on the lips and cheeks (which my Wife and I also do plenty of as well) when they see their father kissing their Mothers feet so often. Of course we can explain to them when they are older that kissing a Woman's foot only happens when a relationship advances, but we are worried about the type of imprinting that might occur if at a very young age our children see this.

Namely the situation my Wife and I are afraid of is if our (potential) son attempts to kiss a girl from school's foot instead of her lips like she is expecting in an intimate moment. The news would certainly spread and he may be ridiculed at school for making such a mistake. This would then lead to a much greater amount of social influence at school telling him that this type of behavior is wrong and he might even grow to resent female led relationships. This is definitely the last thing we want. Of course it could also turn out that the girl actually responds positively to such behavior (which would be amazing for our son to be in a female led relationship at such a young age), but we don't like to take risks (and when I say we I mean my amazing Wife of course).

Oh dear this post has become very long I am very sorry! But in addition to that I would like to add a thank you for all your advice, and let you know that I intend to thank my wife everyday for the internet usage from now on :). I often times thank my wife for many different things, and I was actually wondering if there is a time of day that you and George have that is set aside for him thanking you for being the amazing and wonderful authority in his life and for all the things you do? I want to incorporate another ritual like that for my Wife, but I'm not sure when the best time would be (when I'm at her feet after work the time usually goes by with me asking how her day is and listening to the many things she has to say).

Thank you for all your advice Miss Amanda, and once again I am sorry for the length of this post.

Best regards,
-David

Amanda FLR said...

Sam – That was a wonderful insight into your formative years. I like the sound of Ms Baker. She is my sort of woman! I agree about the national service for boys, but with a female led slant. Would you consider writing some more posts about your upbringing? I really enjoyed reading your previous post “It’s holiday time - for the women!”


David – I do indeed accept your apology and I am pleased to read that your wife has you firmly under control. Perhaps you too would like to share more about your life with a guest post. Better still, since your wife knows about this blog, she could share her wisdom. In this way, readers would not have to wait so long between posts!

Once you have children, things do change. That is a fact of life. But it is also exciting to teach the next generation and be proud of what you and they have achieved. My inclination is to avoid discussing my relationship with George in lurid detail on this blog. I do not wish to scare off potential dominant women who may be thinking of entering this kind of relationship. However, you may rest assured that when the children are out of the house or in bed, my training of George intensifies exponentially. I am very demanding of him and his worship of me is far greater than I have previously alluded to in my posts.

Finally, my offer to Sam and David to write guest posts extends to any submissive male or preferably dominant female reading this blog. Simply contact Mark via this blog.

A variety of posts is the spice of life!

Ms Amanda

Anonymous said...

Yes there should be a National Service with males providing labour for the community. For all sorts of projects to make the whole society benefit.

Perhaps a longer period of service each year when younger and the amount of time tailing off as the males grow older and have commitments to Wives Girlfriends etc.

It would be good for the family to see a male from outside the family in service if placed with a family.

I definitely think there should be civic obedience lessons where males are taught to be god citizens.

femsup

Amanda FLR said...

Femsup - Excellent ideas!


Ms Amanda

Sam said...

Thank you Ms Amanda, yes i would like to write more about my upbringing, tonight however i leave for Crete with my Girlfriend and her family and am looking forward to two weeks of waiting hand and foot on her and her family..

I agree totally that any kind of compulsory National service for boys would need to be Female led, ideally organised and implemented solely by Women to ensure a constant emphasis is put on the benefits of Female leadership and boys being encouraged to achieve their full potential, working and serving towards the advancement of Female empowerment.

Femsup, your ideas all make such good sense toward creating an ideal Matriarchal society. Have you read Sultana’s Dream by Rokheya Sakhawat Hossain? It is a wonderful Feminist story.

Sam

Soccerdad1709 said...

To Y'pal:
There have always been marriages that are led by the wife. In many cases it is an informal arrangement and you would not know it to view it from the outside.

Many young women start out thinking that they will have a marriage that is led by their husband or that they will have a balanced 50/50 relationship. Some young women are actually attracted to the idea of a father figure as a husband.

But very quickly, many women find out that many men are not naturally suited for family life and must be trained and domesticated. Wives begin to realize how much less mature many men are. They may experience their husband mismanaging family funds, not wanting to spend time at home, or not knowing anything about how to be a father.

They begin to take control for the sheer survival of their family. It may not be any formal arrangement or even anything they discuss. It just involves overtime.

Many wives allow their husbands the appearance of being in charge, when they are in public and in the presence of other family. The husband either goes along with it because he recognizes that things run better when his wife is in charge or he doesn't want to get divorced.

Often the wife's position as head of the household is evident to outsiders and you will hear people say, "It's clear that she wears the pants in that family!"

As the husband gets older and more confident in the relationship you will hear many men become comfortable with their role and even joke about it.

You may hear the husband tell his buddies, "I don't know if I can come over to watch the game. I need to check on this weekend's schedule with the 'boss' "

There are many marriages that are like this that don't necessarily call it anything in particular like a "Female Lead Relationship" (FLR) or "Female Headed Household" (FHH), they just quietly do it.

Many young women find themselves married to a man who would never change a diaper, wash a dish or spend time with his children if their wife didn't say, "Honey, it's your turn to change the baby's diaper and I want to remind you that you have the kids this Friday because I'm going out with my girlfriends for happy hour."

Those of us on here are just a few people who formalize the arrangement and talk about it more openly.

Anonymous said...

Miss Amanda,

Thank you for your kind words. It makes me quite happy to hear that my behavior has pleased you and reflected well of my Wife as well. My Wife would also like me to tell you that she too greatly enjoys your blog and is very impressed by the extent of control you exert over your entire household. To top it off your children seem to be both very happy and sucessful as well. Your household is an ideal for all of us to strive towards, and my Wife and I will try to use your posts and insight in the coming years to set up a household of our own. If it turns out even close to yours we will be quite satisfied :).

In regards to the rest of your post, that is a great idea. Thank you for suggesting it, and I am flattered that you would want to read what I have to say. Thank you Miss Amanda. However, sadly my Wife is a very private person, and has said that she would not feel comfortable posting her thoughts on the internet for everyone to see. She has however approved of me posting things, with her complete supervision of course.

Your care in what should and shouldn't be said on this blog is completely founded and my Wife feverently agreed. I must say that I would have never thought that far ahead and how this would influence future female leaders. It just goes to show how superior women are :) and it brought a smile to my face when I was reminded of my inferior intelligence and how lucky I and your husband are to have women like our Wives in our lives to command us and control our lives. I would like to extend a thank you on behalf of all men =] for being the source of confidence and leadership that we look up to. Without women like you in the world to control us men Miss Amanda, we would be hopeless. We are really like pigs and without women to care for us and tell us what to do we end up a waste of life. Thank you Miss Amanda.

Finally, to continue off a previous thought, my Wife is indeed a very private person and has decided that my comments are becoming a bit too long and a bit too personal. However, she would like me to continue corresponding with you Miss Amanda, as she and I both (although what my opinion is really doesn't matter) immensely appreciate the advice you give and the insight it offers. Because of this she would like me to correspond with you over email. She apologizes for having me be the one to correspond with you, and wants to make it clear that she doesn't mean you disrespect in anyway. Because of the way she was raised she simply does not feel comfortable conversing with people she has not met in person before over the internet. She is however comfortable with having me do something like that for her, and I have thanked her deeply for the privilege of serving her like this.

If it pleases you Miss Amanda, please send your response to this comment to an email address I will post in another comment. My Wife and I would be very happy to continue to discuss our female ruled relationships over such a medium, and hopefully with the privacy we may be able to go into a bit more detail.

Thank you again for taking the time to read my comment Miss Amanda. I am very grateful to be spoken to by a woman like you :)

Best regards,
-David

Amanda FLR said...

Sam – I hope you have a wonderfully servile holiday. Make sure to give me the details upon your return!

Soccerdad1709 – You are correct in all of your marital observations. Well said!

David – As your wife progresses with her control over you, so her dominance will expand to other areas of life. This happens at a slower pace for some women, so please tell her not to be concerned. She has certainly started her marriage to you in exactly the right way.

Everybody – I will be away on business for the next few days and so I will not be able to reply to any more comments until the weekend. I have instructed Mark to release my next post on Thursday.

Ms Amanda

Anonymous said...

Thank you Amanda and Sam. I have read a synopsis of the science fiction novel written by the Bangladeshi novelist. It sounds way ahead of its time but also of its time and now. In that it sees a reversal of roles is not forward thinking but crucial for women and men to imagine a world in which there is some redress for the awful crimes of patriarchy.

Femsup

Anonymous said...

I think that males on National Service would be placed both in civic teams and family teams. A lad might be placed with a family and help that family. The males would have to learn to get on together and to work for the better good of the family and the society made up of numerous families.

The younger members of the family would see a strange male being guided and doing as he is told by the Mother or other entitled people.

They would see the male working hopefully in harmony for the better good of all. There might be rivalry to be adjudicated on by the Females in the family and also jealousy. An older husband might be afraid of or jealous of a younger male being commanded by a Wife.

Different families would be linked and the idea and practice of Female Led households would be furthered.

It would foster a feeling of togetherness and of a common goal. Males might be placed for a time with the elderly or the disabled to help them.

Femsup

Anonymous said...

I am a male. I have read all the articles in this sites and what I have noticed is that the women in this forum have learnt nothing from the centuries of male dominance. Patriachy is a system of control. What you ladies are suggesting is keeping patriachy, in some cases even increasing the level of control, and the simple thing you change is flip the roles of the genders. This site has done nothing to destroy the system of control. As a modern male coming from a patriarchal culture in the middle east, It saddens me that some women have failed to take lessons from the past and break this system of control and to put the foundations of marriage on equal love, dedication and trust.

Soccerdad1709 said...

To Anonymous from the Middle East:

The difference is that most women do not take well to being dominated. And, the temperament of most men does not lend itself well to the role of leadership. Under the new matriarchy, most of us men find that we thrive and prosper once we acquiesce to being under the firm, loving thumb of a woman in charge.

With female headed households, you won't find as many alcoholic households, abused and neglected children, homes falling into disrepair or lost to unpaid mortgages.

Anonymous said...

I completely disagree with the notion that men and women are inherently different. Their sex is different but their gender is thought to them from the start. Therefore the Men's temperament are what they have learnt growing up. I also noticed how you justify the control by stating that the woman in charge is loving, but the articles I read show anything but. What really caught my eye and disgusted me in the process was a quote from the Nancy article saying women are morally and intellectually superior to men. She need only to go back to the literature of 50 years ago to find the exact sentiment directed at the "weaker sex". If the ideas of those men in the past half century repulses you, so should Nancy's sentiments.

Anonymous said...

There is a biological basis for women being the dominant partner in marriage. Women and men are different. Brain scans show clear differences between the brains of men and women. The brains of men are affected by the large amount of testosterone in our blood. Our testosterone levels remain strong throughout most of our adolescence and middle adulthood driving a strong urge to engage in sex.

Women have many times in their life when their hormonal levels adjust to accommodate the care of children. Women experience a shift in their hormones when they get pregnant that reduces their sex drive and prepares the body for nursing a baby after birth. The sex drive of men changes little during their wife's pregnancy which is why so many men have affairs while their wife is pregnant. The hormones that stimulate lactation also reduce a woman's sex drive. This is why women tend to focus more on home, family children during the period of pregnancy and nursing. The sex drive of women does not reach the previous peak until they stop nursing. Then their sex drive tends to increase, causing them to be more receptive to mating and procreating to have the next child. Once pregnant again, their sexual desire tends to decrease again until the next time they stop nursing the next child. These periods of decreased sexual desire allow the woman to focus on their commitment to their children and the stability of the family.

Meanwhile the sex drive of the husband remains relatively constant causing him to want sex even though his wife is less interested and is busy taking care of the kids. Husbands of pregnant or nursing wives are tempted to cheat, frequent prostitutes or strip clubs or become obsessed with pornography. His sex drive causes him to desire things that threaten the safety stability of the family.

After menopause, women experience the greatest and final decrease in the hormones that fuel their sex drive. This allows them to settle comfortably into their middle aged years to focus on caring for their older kids and to prepare to help with grandkids. The majority of men continue to have a strong sex drive that only decreases slowly compared to women. This is why many men abandon their wives for a younger woman during the so called "mid-life crisis".

Except for men who chose to remain single their whole lives, or couples who choose to be childless, it makes sense for men to be led by the woman in the relationship. With women in control of the family, they can ensure that the family is structured to fit with their changing needs and the needs of the children. A woman can monitor and control her husband's actions and protect him and the family from his impulse ridden sex drive.

Keeping strong control over the husband and things like the family finances and chastity control can prevent him from getting into trouble with sexual infidelity, being taken advantage by women who use sex to financially exploit men, porn addictions and even wasting time with excessive masturbation. A strong woman in charge can keep men from harm caused by our sexual impulsivity.

For evidence of the problems caused by the testosterone fueled sexual impulsivity and aggressive behavior of men, one only need to consider the 80 of prison populations that are male. There are the men who lose their jobs for sexual harassment, or are imprisoned for rape. You don't as often hear of women who have some of the problems that are common to men such as being taken advantage of by a stripper, getting addicted to pornography are succumbing to addictions to masturbation.

If every man was subject to the strong supervision and control by a strong wife, there would be fewer men in trouble and more men remaining in stable and financially successful marriages.

Amanda FLR said...

Femsup – Your idea of “a care in the community” type of National Service is admirable. Maybe this could be the answer to our overflowing prisons and probationary populations (the vast majority of whom are male).


Soccerdad1709 – You have made some very interesting points. I totally agree that male acquiescence to a dominant female provides prosperity, guidance and happiness to families.

Our Anonymous Middle Eastern Friend (AMEF) has not had the good manners to introduce himself. Therefore I will address my comments to you Soccerdad1709 and continue the theme of the last anonymous commentator.

AMEF quotes:“Men's temperament[sic] are what they have learnt[sic] growing up”. Really? I believe he is suggesting that everything a man does is as a result of nurture and nothing to do with nature. The male hormone testosterone has previously been mentioned. It explains why males are naturally more aggressive than females. In the past this aggression was needed by early primitive societies as a means to survive. The males needed to be strong and aggressive to catch and kill animals for food. The requirement for this aggression is no longer required in modern civilised society. Tools and industry have replaced the need for strength and aggression. We are simply evolving and matriarchy is the next logical step of the evolutionary process.

Ms Amanda

Anonymous said...

Thank you Ma'am for your very kind words

But its not simply the idea that recalcitrant males or the work shy are given this duty. That's a capitalist idea. No its to strengthen the community which will be Female run and to better all of society both male and Female. It will be thought of as a duty and obligation both of males to serve and of Womyn to control and supervise.

Care in the community has a bad connotation here in the UK where a Tory government rather than pay for vulnerable mentally ill people decided to let them into the community unsupervised and with as little support as possible.

Femsup

Anonymous said...

I whole heartedly agree with you about the next and natural evolutionary step.

Femsup

Anonymous said...

Dear ms. Amanda,
I quite enjoyed your story, reading it last night. Interestingly my wife asked me to give her a foot massage today - she knows about my foot fetish. I cannot remember seeing her feet closeup and ever thinking so strongly before how beautiful her feet are. Actually i
think that touching her feet could replace having sex for me, because touching her feet simply is divine. So i told her. She definitely liked that, because she touched my private area with her other foot. Because the kids were around she asked me to cover up that little scene. When asked, she granted me to relieve myself, when the time had come, and i liked that little dominant smile, when the pressure on my testicles was just a little too great. Before leaving the room she told me that i wasn t done yet with massaging her feet. My question is, would it not be better for her to control my orgasm to take things to the next level? Or is that level of control just right? I should say that she was lying on the ground, while i was sitting in the couch. But is not what counts, that i was giving pleasure and even though i received, it was really her, who was in control the whole time?

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Anonymous said...

Are the kids present in the home when you discipline your husband. Or are off somewhere else not at home? Im curious..

Mark Remond said...

To Anonymous, just above - Alas, Ms. Amanda hasn't been writing for this blog for two years, due to personal and business commitments. But several times, in her comments and postings, she was emphatic about never letting her children see, or know about, her disciplining of her husband.

Anonymous said...

Great but u didn't tell us about sex
How its work,??

Anonymous said...

Looking for new posts Ms.Amanda. Steve

Mark Remond said...

Steve (just above),

Alas, Ms. Amanda said she was forced to forgo further posting on this blog due to the pressures of her executive post -- and her ongoing functioning as head of her matriarchal family.

You can find similar posts on matriarchal households and families in the blog, The Wonderful World of Female Supremacy, http://thomaslavalle.blogspot.com, but nothing of the sweep and authority of Ms. Amanda's posts. I join you in wishing she would raise her voice again!

Allen Franks said...

Question for all who have posted on here. I am curious as to how many males have been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD? I reason I ask is they tend to be used to getting in trouble by being distracted and thus creating the need to be told what to do and when which is very helpful to someone who has ADD. It gives us a sense of order and responsibility. We have not often been praised for doing well since we tend to be distracted and to actually being good at something is very satisfying (serving and pleasing your girlfriend or wife). I sense some men crave to do this because they have a need to be loved and accepted and told when they do well. Having female authority is great because it gives us a sense of being able to accomplish a goal, to accept female authority as the natural course of things. I had a female tell me that men respect authority more than women do and I suspect it is because, down deep, they know or feel their God-given authority just by being female. Even where not acknowledged, women feel more entitlement to authority than men in a relationship because women are more aware of their overall superiority. Perhaps a son never got to have a close relationship with his mother in a nurturing and authoritative way, so he finds it in the adult relationship relating to the female along the lines of son wanting to be a good boy for his mommy but being an adult, the childishness is left behind but everything else stays in tack?