Wednesday, April 23, 2014


(Part 1 related how Joan’s rigorous tutelage in proper serving etiquette gave dennis the confidence to apply for a wait-staff position at an upscale country club near his college campus. His training in appropriate male deference to women enabled him to make a favorable impression with Katherine Hobs, his prospective employer, and to prompt her to schedule an “in-service interview.” “Do well and the job is yours,” said Ms. Hobs told him. dennis concludes his story in this post:)

Two days later i was placed on station [at the country club restaurant], but only assigned one table, the one that would seat Ms. Hobbs and Her three Female dining companions. As they were seated, one of the male waiters nodded in their direction and commented, “i feel sorry for you, you've got four real bitches at your table.”

Game over as far as i was concerned. i love demanding Women and started my service, greeting them warmly. i presented the menu, discussed our specials, suggesting a wine with each, then took their drink orders, committing them to memory.

i asked how each Woman wanted Her drink (i would be mixing each myself). Before leaving for the drinks i placed a small dinner bell on the table, telling them that, although I would be regularly looking in on them, they could use the bell to summon me at any time. They smiled at the idea and did make use of the bell—almost immediately as one of the Women changed Her drink order.

When I returned, i served Katherine first and then the others, each time starting with a different Woman. i conversed with the Women when they directed comments or questions; otherwise my preference was to “shut up and listen” as Joan and Sue had so often admonished me.

Lunch went well, i thought, and when it was time to leave i asked the Ladies to enjoy another cup of coffee while i gathered their coats and summoned their cars.

Katherine was pleased, very pleased, and told me so. She offered no criticisms, although i told Her that i believed that a Woman can—and should—always find fault with a man. “Men,” i told Her, “are deeply flawed.” She agreed. i added that any criticism She directed at me would be highly valued. She then told me the job was mine.

The real thrill for me was serving Women; it's impossible to overstate how much satisfaction i derived from this during my time in Ms. Hobs’ employment, although the tips given at the club were indeed generous. And most of my tips were from Women who other male staff said were “poor tippers”—they just didn't know how to treat Goddesses!

Incidentally, it was rare that i served men and then only when they were in the company of Women. My preference was to serve Women, and i could serve as many as i wanted because many of the male servers were reluctant to.

Years later Katherine confessed that the job was mine even before i did my “in-service interview”; indeed, there were no other candidates as far as She
was concerned. And She admitted a bit of guilt, too. She wanted to be served in the style i'd demonstrated at the initial interview and hiring me was one way She could get it! i worked for Her for more than three years and over that time She came to be a friend of Nancy and me.

Initially ifelt somewhat sorry for Katherine because of Her obviously overbearing husband; but my feeling sorry for Her was shortlived. i quickly learned that She really ran things at home, controlling the money and doing as She pleased. Let's just say that She fit the profile of many of the in-control Women whom Kaitlin has interviewed.

Katherine retired with Her husband to Florida. i correspond with Her around the holiday season and have had the pleasure of dining with Her when in Florida three years ago. What i'd love to do, though—and She has promised me that I can—is to serve Her and a few of Her Woman friends lunch someday. Katherine is a Goddess worthy of my adoration! i am privileged to count Her among the many Women I have served.


Thursday, April 10, 2014


Learning to serve not only provided me the basis for a satisfying lifestyle within the family, but gave skills that had immediate practical value.

When i returned to college after a particularly grueling weekend under Joan’s tutelage, i noticed an ad for wait staff at an upscale country club near campus. The country club had a reputation for paying staff well and for well-to-do members who generously tipped for good service. i put a brief resume together, highlighting my college work, extracurricular activities, and many of the skills i’d learned from Joan.

The next day, dressed in a black jacket, white shirt with cuff links, and a red bow tie—Joan’s influence again—i personally visited the country club and engaged the well-dressed, middle-aged receptionist.

“Excuse me Ma’am, i’d like to express my interest in the wait staff position,” i said, offering Her my resume while noting some of my skills. i expected to simply introduce myself and leave my resume, but She told me to wait. Shortly another Woman came and took over the receptionist's desk, freeing the Woman who’d been perusing my resume.

It turned out that the “receptionist” i first encountered was the Woman in charge of hiring for the position! She’d only been sitting in for the Woman who normally staffed the front desk and was appalled at the disheveled, poorly motivated students who’d come to the desk before me to ask for an application or to leave off a poorly written resume. She liked my “Excuse me, Ma'am” much more than the “Hey, Lady” She'd received from other applicants. Others thought they were dealing with administrative staff that they could talk down to; Joan and Sue had taught me that all Women deserved respect, no matter their position, and that a Woman is NEVER talked down to! EVER!

After glancing at me and my resume, She granted me an immediate interview, leading me into Her large, well-appointed office. She introduced Herself as Katherine Hobs (not her real name). She was immediately familiar to me as a Woman who regularly appeared in the society pages with Her well-to-do, but boorish-looking attorney husband. She invited me to call Her Katherine, but i would have none of it. i was in the presence of a Goddess and wanted to address Her accordingly, telling Her that i felt more comfortable addressing Her as Mrs. Hobs. She smiled and nodded Her approval, but i'd only use “Mrs.” for a few more minutes. When Her Feminism became obvious, i suggested that, in lieu of “Mrs.” i address Her as “Ms. Hobs.” She agreed. i call Her “Ms. Hobs” or “Ms. Katherine” to this day.

She motioned me to sit down on a low chair without arms next to Her desk. Perhaps the low chair was coincidence, but i suspected—and now know—that this Woman knew something about power and the impact of a low chair on the person sitting in it; i had learned of the power exchange that takes place in such a situation from Joan and Sue.

“Before we get started,” Ms. Hobs said, “may I serve you a cup of coffee or tea?” I rose and said,“I would enjoy some coffee, Ma’am, but only if I may serve myself and You as well!”

With a surprised smile, She agreed, again turning Her attention to my resume. She had a beautiful sterling silver coffee service on the credenza. Taking a clean cup and saucer, i poured coffee and placed the cup and saucer and cream and sugar on a small, but ornate tray. Placing a linen napkin over my wrist, i returned to Her desk where I added cream and sugar as She directed. i placed a linen napkin on Her desk and then the cup of coffee.

“Here you are, Ma’am, please enjoy!” i said to the stunned Woman who responded, “Our head waiter could not have done a more elegant job!”

“My pleasure, Ma’am,” I said, while thinking “Your head waiter likely wasn’t trained by an impatient Goddess with a quick temper and a leather slapper!”

Ms. Hobs motioned me to sit while She completed Her review of my resume.
When She was done She rolled Her chair in front of me and crossed Her legs. Ah, the power of shapely Female legs in a skirt, heels, and pantyhose! She was indeed intimidating;  looking down at me, She began Her questioning.

Ms. Hobs asked about my experience serving and where I had acquired it. “Working as both a servant and housekeeper for a private family,” i told Her, adding, “i can get references” – well, I hoped Joan and Sue would give me a reference! I’d included my Feminist activities on my resume, and She seemed very interested in them, asking many questions. She considered Herself a Feminist and commented that too few men were in the Movement; i agreed. She later admitted that She had been very skeptical about this part of my resume, but my being conversant on the topic quickly convinced Her otherwise. We discussed a variety of Feminist issues, our must-read Feminist books, and expressed an abhorrence of Patriarchy and a desire to see more Women ascend to leadership positions, both agreeing this would have positive impacts on society.

Then the interview got back to practical topics associated with serving. Ms. Hobs delved into the specifics of setting a table, serving drinks, presenting a wine, clearing a table, courtesies when serving Women, and so on. She was particularly interested in my serving Women since the country club had numerous Female members and spouses; at lunch two thirds of the tables were all Female. Knowing that She had problems with some of Her male wait staff when it came to serving Women, i assured Her She'd have no such issues with me.

She wanted to know specifics and mentioned a number of things i might do to show deference to Women and make Their dining experience a good one:

·         Express a willingness to serve Women, “How may i serve You Ladies?” And always follow up with good service.
·         Always use proper honorifics—Ma'am, Madame, Ladies, etc. Shockingly some of the current staff was remiss here!
·         Pull out chairs for the Ladies—basic chivalry but often not done by some current staff!
·         Engage in polite dialogue with Female diners, making suggestions, paying appropriate compliments.
·         Otherwise speak only when spoken to or when necessary to provide excellent service.
·         Look in on Female diners more regularly since many Women tended to not ask for help.
·         Serve Women first and then male diners; actually i'd never served a man before since men simply weren't served in Nancy's family.
·         Suggest that a Female guest select and approve the wine, a traditionally male undertaking.
·         Place the check in front of the Women as opposed to assuming that the male would be paying; that is, not making an erroneous assumption that Women were less able to pay.
·         Help Women after the bill was paid by doing things like getting their coats from the coat check and helping them put them on, as opposed to sending Female guests on to coat check to fend for themselves; i add a bit of unexpected service!
·         Order their car from the valet while they sipped a last cup of coffee.

And i made a suggestion that may benefit Female diners—the bell Protocol i learned in Nancy's family. i suggested that since Women were conditioned not to gesture or raise their voices that a small, elegant dinner bell be placed at all-female tables as a discreet and feminine way of summoning immediate service. Ms. Hobs loved the idea and would put it into practice.

After nearly two hours we parted with Her promising i'd hear from Her soon. In fact, when i returned to my dorm there was a message waiting, asking me to come in for an “in-service interview” in two days. i'd be serving Ms. Hobs and three of Her friends.

“Do well and the job is yours” Her message said. And i was instructed to visit the country club ahead of time to get fitted for a proper uniform—a tie and tux.

(Next: dennis appears for his in-service interview with Goddess Katherine.)

Tuesday, April 1, 2014


Regular reader and FLR blogger I’m-Hers (you can see his blog here) comments on dennis’ MORE PROTOCOLS—A GUIDE TO PROPER MALE BEHAVIOR):

Dennis, I struggle with your posts, especially in light of the fact that Mark’s posts have been filled with the understanding that male submission was for the express purpose of a better way to love the woman in one’s life. The protocols, the discipline, the expectations, the rules that you have expounded upon in this and previous posts fascinate me, but what I have failed to see with your and with Nancy’s posts in the past is “love” being a part of the equation. I’m sure you can respond and tell me that you love one another, and I do believe you must for your relationship to continue, but I sure wish for those of us that read that you’d incorporate that amongst the rules, bows, curtsies, and second-place status that males within your household reside. I don’t mean to criticize but I needed to express. Thanks

dennis responds:

Love is indeed in our relationship, and that relationship is a mutually fulfilling one with both of us fully accepting the roles and responsibilities we have. Doing as one is told and living for one’s Wife—is not that a sign of love? Is supporting Her career not a sign of love? Is serving Her and making Her the center of my attention, are these not signs of love? Is relieving Her of domestic duties so She can pursue a diversity of interests not a sign of love? Is sharing the many outside interests and causes we have not a sign of love? Is helping other couples who admire what we have and want to emulate our relationship not a sign of love?

These certainly are signs of love to my Wife and to me. It may seem that the rules and rituals are somehow overpowering, but you are viewing these things from the outside. From the inside i can tell you they are not overpowering—much to the contrary!  i can tell you that having some rules to follow that spell out Her expectations is a great way to ensure a tranquil household. We have gone down the path of life together and together we have gradually molded the lifestyle we have and love what we have made together. With each little thing i do for Her, with each new rule, we love each other just that much more. It is amusing to us that others question—and criticize—our lifestyle, and yet, in so many cases, our unconventional relationship endures and theirs does not.

What i am learning here is something that Nancy told me months ago, which is that i shouldn’t share too much of our personal relationship and interaction, instead limiting this to the close friends we do have. As always, Nancy is right.