Wednesday, February 25, 2015
(Note: The previous posts in this series were written by the female-led husband, Geoff. Now, happily, we get to hear from his female leader, Carrie. —Mark Remond)
Just thought I would let you know our arrangement from my perspective. We have been in a female led relationship now for four months, and I couldn't be happier. I spent the first 35 years of our marriage working full time and running the household. I really didn't expect help from my spouse as this was the way I was brought up, although my mother was a stay-at-home mother.
When Geoff started investigating FLRs, I was at first skeptical, but willing to give it a try. Well, let’s just say that I won't be going back to the old way!
I love being treated like a queen and having my bidding done promptly and being waited on hand and foot. Who wouldn't?
I have read a book by Elise Sutton [Female Domination] and, while some of it is informative, I couldn't treat my slave hubby with the disrespect some do. After all, a happy slave is a productive slave. While I love having my feet and legs massaged, I would never expect him to lick my boots. That would be treating him disrespectfully.
As his reward for good service he gets and gives great loving. That part of our relationship is wonderful now because I don't feel tired all the time.
I have always been fairly bossy so taking on the role of queen was not difficult, but I am still learning. So nice to read your blogs and nice to know there are other women out there enjoying the power. The benefits are awesome!
Friday, February 13, 2015
(Previous posts in this series: Carrie & Geoff—Part 1: Sharing Their New FLRLifestyle, l Dec. 13, 2014, and Carrie & Geoff—Part 2: FLR Ring Ceremony, Dec. 22, 2014)
Carrie and I have made the three-month mark in our Female Led Relationship, and it is only getting better and better. Barely a day goes by that my Queen doesn’t stimulate me to a near orgasm, and I give my Queen an orgasm either with my mouth or my hands. I’m still amazed at how intense my feelings are for my Queen; they seem to be growing stronger every day. Each time I see my gold glans ring,* I am reminded of my vows of commitment and submission.
I have just finished reading FemaleDomination by Elise Sutton, and I would recommend it to anyone interested in FLR as it is a wealth of information. My Queen is now reading it and is currently preparing me to receive her strap-on by gradually stretching me by using her finger(s). It’s hard to describe the feelings as you are held captive by your Queen and stimulated and aroused to such a high level. Just the other night I was made to lie across my Queen’s lap while she spanked me and then worked on my bottom with her fingers, which bought me to a huge climax (with, of course, the permission of my Queen). The next night I was ordered into the sixty-nine position and, while my Queen held me in her mouth, she alternated between spanking me and entering me with her fingers. I have read about subspace, and I think I might have been very close to it.
After my Queen has finished reading Female Domination, I want to read it again and underline the quotes, ideas, and passages that appealed or had an effect on me, and then she will reread it and underline the things that interest her. Then we can compare our notes and establish goals to develop our common interests, and even expand into new areas interest.
All I know for sure is that that with each passing day my commitment to serve my Queen gets stronger and stronger, and my level of submission becomes deeper. I still kick myself for not finding this lifestyle earlier in my life.
When I think about the stupid “macho” lifestyle, it is obvious why it does not produce high levels of happiness. For example, when the male sex drive builds up, he seeks sex from his partner. Most likely his partner has low sex drive because she is tired and could have feelings of resentment, because of the lack of help around the house. The male reaches a climax quickly because he is feeling horny, which leaves his partner half aroused, frustrated, with semen to clean from her vagina, and no one to cuddle with or talk to as the male is fast asleep. Anyone can see this is a sure-fire recipe to romance and endless happiness—not! I really thought we had a very happy marriage for all those years, but compared with what we now have—well, frankly, there is no comparison. My Queen tells me she has never been so happy, and it is my wish and commitment to spend the rest of my life serving her to keep her happy.
Carrie & geoff
(* Mea Culpa from Mark Remond: Several readers had asked what kind of ring Geoff gave to Carrie in the ultra-romantic FLR Ring Ceremony described in their second posting. I must plead guiltly here to deliberate obfuscation: Geoff had written quite plainly that it was a “glans ring,” which, as you can read online, is “a variety of male genital jewelry worn around the head of the penis” and which can render the penis head more sensitive to touch. I changed Geoff’s straightforward description into a “ring to be worn by submissive husbands (or boyfriends) in a certain very intimate and private place (as to exactly where I’ll leave to the reader’s fertile imagination).” I apologize belatedly to Geoff and Carrie and to my readers for having been a bit prudish and old-fashioned.)
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
In earlier posts i have noted various holidays that are wonderful opportunities for men to buy gifts for the Women in their lives. Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Mother-in-Law’s Birthday and so on, all merit carefully selected, quality gifts. But in terms of what Women really want there are far more important days coming up that the modern man must celebrate. These special days provide us males an opportunity to reflect on Women’s issues and Feminism, to make efforts to accelerate the progress of Women, and to hasten the downfall of patriarchy. Our congregation and Women’s Center observe the following as times for reflection, commitment, and action:
Feminist Susan B. Anthony Birthday – February 15
March – Women’s History Month
International Women’s Day – March 9
Women’s Equality Day – August 26
Feminist Elizabeth Cady Stanton Birthday – November 12
There are a great many activities that take place around these events in which men can – and should! - participate:
§ Participate in rallies and marches aimed at highlighting the inequities in Women’s pay, career opportunities, and so on. Real men will be active participants and very visible at such events.
§ Listen to and learn from lectures and readings on Feminist topics
§ Attend a Women’s art exhibit
§ Do a reading at a Feminist event
§ Write a letter to the editor of a local paper supporting a Feminist issue or position
§ Learn a craft or domestic skill by taking a class or workshop; it’s a wonderful opportunity for men to cross gender lines – not to worry, Women welcome us on their side of the line but a word of warning – once you cross you may find it hard to go back!
§ Commit to read six Feminist books over the next year; discuss them with Women, including how each book has changed your perspectives. In my case Nancy and Her Mother routinely assign me “required reading” on a variety of topics ranging from Feminist literature to romance novels. I have to discuss the readings, articulate the Women’s positions in each of the readings, and cite how the reading changed my perspective.
§ In celebration of the aforementioned days send cards with a personal note and perhaps a small gift to Women-friends. Use cursive writing and Sue demands my using decidedly Feminine matching stationery. The latter shows my willingness to adopt something from Women’s side of the gender line and it conveys my belief that Women, their views, and tastes are mainstream.
§ Support and work for Female Candidates for public office; we need more
§ Listen to a Women’s discussion group or lecture on Feminist issues, wage inequity, for example. As Nancy says, men should “Shut up and listen” - we men can learn a lot by listening to Women. Take what you heard into discussions with male friends and advocate the Women’s point of view.
§ Take a Women’s Studies class for some formal immersion in Feminism – men will learn a lot!
§ Perform service at a Women’s Center; the progressive gentlemen in our social circle do this weekly; sign up to volunteer to do whatever is needed and make a real contribution.
§ Donate time and money – Men make more than Women and should be happy to give their patriarchy-derived surplus to Women and to Women’s causes. Nancy has determined that men earn at least 25% more than Women so, to level the playing field, She demands that 25% of my earnings be given over to Women (She and Sue are a great place to start!) and Women’s issues.
Our Women’s Center collects and distributes money throughout the year for the benefit of Women and Women’s activities. Men are expected to generously donate and are charged fees for participating in the Centers activities or just to volunteer. Monies are anonymously distributed to Women for a variety of purposes. Men often commit to giving over the course of a year; for example, two men are paying for a Woman’s cell phone and data plan for a year. Two other men have committed to donate $2,400 – a mere $100 per month each – to a Women’s studies program at a local college. Where’s their $100 a month coming from – well, they’ve given up trips to the local bar and will instead work at the Center one evening a week.
Housekeeping – men at the Center volunteer to regularly do housework, repair work, etc., for Women who want their help. The men’s work is done under the strict supervision of the Center’s staff. Men taking the Housekeeping 101 do a practicum of housework for Women that spans many weeks. Even after they have completed Housekeeping 101, men continue to do the practicums as a personal commitment to think globally but act locally.
Get involved with Women’s issues and initiatives at work. Mentor and support Women. Support Women for promotions even though doing so may limit your opportunities. After all, you’re likely not as well qualified as Women now in the workforce; they are coming into the workplace in greater numbers and bringing impeccable credentials. They’re going to run things sooner than later so get used to it and get on board!
In many companies vacation time is determined by seniority; unfortunately, men have most seniority and so more vacation. To right this inequity, a few of us have given back vacation days to be placed in a “vacation bank” from which extra days will be awarded to Female staff.
§ Accept and support Women in leadership positions at work; defer to them; accept your subordinate position.
§ Encourage Women to adopt a leadership posture by deferring to them – at work – at home – wherever!
§ Recognize that Women-only activities at work – seminars, classes, trips, mentoring, etc – aren’t discriminatio’! Rather, these are necessary to allow Women to participate on a level playing field.
§ Make treating Women – ALL WOMEN! – with courtesy and respect a habit - “Yes, Ma’am!”
§ Recognize the innate superiority of Women and the inequities and exploitation that patriarchy promotes.
Why is all this important? Well, despite their moral, intellectual, and emotional superiority, Women are underrepresented in leadership positions and still undercompensated. Gender equality will make society better!
Friday, February 6, 2015
(I conclude my revisit of the provocative posts and comments of Beckie Sue (from four years ago) with a compilation of her thoughts on Female Led Families. What follows, I believe, helped inspire Ms. Amanda and Ms. Jenn in formulating their own matriarchal family guidelines.—Mark Remond)
I think it is important to make clear that we are not just a "female led marriage," but we are a "female led family."
Our daughters are always having their friends over. They are all aware that the girls’ father is the one who does all the housework. They are there when he comes home from work and starts right in on dinner, or perhaps the laundry, while I am there reading, or enjoying myself on our deck. Our daughters’ friends are right there and hear me tell him to do a certain chore and he never argues.
Their brother is always there as well. He is very obedient to his sisters "requests." They usually ask him "will you..." but I know that it is really an order. Their friends are comfortable in telling him what to do as well.
In being a female led home, our daughters’ girlfriends know it is more than I, it is my daughters who rule as well. The girls have had many discussions on female superiority, and all of them are in agreement that as females they are superior. I have overheard them talk about having boys worship them, and wanting to be goddesses. They are learning.
The Best Interests of our Daughters
Do we really think the interests of our son are less important than the interests of our daughters? That the opinions, desires and hobbies of our daughters are more important than his? Just because they are female and he is male?
Throughout history, girls were taught that men were more important, that the goals of men were more important than their own. In a female led home, girls need to learn to lead males. And, yes, because they are female, they need to understand the importance of seeking hobbies and activities that will fulfill them.
As a male, their brother understands that sometimes he needs to forgo his own interests so that his sisters may have the opportunity to pursue theirs.
If he was always allowed to pursue whatever he wanted, often the girls would not be able to enjoy what they want. Brothers need to learn the importance of always placing the female first, helping her become the woman she can be.
So, yes, in my view the importance of a brother’s interests are less important than the interests of his sisters; they need to be for girls to be able to lead in their home, and society.
More Thoughts on Female Led Homes
I find that female led households are not as controversial today as they used to be. I am sure that many (if not most) homes are female led, though most are reluctant to admit it. Women are finding it more natural for them and their husbands for the woman to lead in their home.
Sons and daughters both need both parents as role models for their lives. Our son sees his father doing all the work around the home, all the housework as well as all the yard work, mechanical and maintenance chores, etc. My husband understands the importance of serving women so the females are able to pursue their more important interests. My husband has taught our son the importance of obeying not only his mother, but also his sisters.
Our daughters see the benefits of a female led family. Like their mother, they are learning how to lead a family. They don't have that authority yet but they can see how a family is closer when females are in charge.
There are no problems with a daughter being in charge of her father, as long as she is an adult (out of high school). If she has been raised in a female led family, she is qualified. As a mature adult female, she will not lose any respect for her father by being charge of him; on the contrary, this relationship will bring them closer.
Our daughters are still in their teens. When I have gone out for the day, their father is in charge and they know to obey him. But they are permitted to remind him of things. Recently I found my husband watching TV instead of getting his chores done. (He is not permitted to watch any TV for this reason.) I told our oldest daughter (with father’s knowledge) to keep an eye on him and remind him the chores need to be finished by his 10 p.m. bedtime. He admits having her present helps him focus on all his work and keep him from breaking any of his rules.
He has a great deal of respect for our daughters because of their self-confidence and experience in learning to lead in the home. They are all aware that, as adults, the females will always lead the males.
A girl should be allowed to tell (not ask) her father what to do. Many comments have been made about how a daughter would lose respect for her father if she was allowed to boss him around. That is incorrect. Daughters lose respect for their fathers when their fathers are bossy to them, when their fathers act better than their mother. A girl’s respect toward her father only grows when she sees how he can be obedient to the ladies in his life. She learns respect for her father when he cleans her room and washes her clothes. Our daughters highly respect their father at supper when their brother and father stand and wait for the girls to sit and allow the females to fill their plates and start eating before being permitted to start their own dinner.
A mother is the one who needs to teach her daughters how to lead, what is right, what to expect from men. A daughter needs to learn to lead both brothers and father, through the eyes of her mother. Yes, a girl will make mistakes, sometimes hurting the males in the family. But they must accept it, and she will learn through the experience.
I never liked the idea that some men are submissive. Men are by nature obedient. Through school (in the past), sports, military, and jobs they are required to be obedient; much more so than women. It is their nature to be obedient and to work. It is the nature of the female to be sexual/sensual and to direct the men in their lives. If daughters don't learn this in their home, they will have a hard time when they get older. And if sons don't learn obedience in their home, and from watching their father, they will not grow up properly.