Thursday, November 20, 2014

dennis: PRE-WEDDING AGREEMENTS

One of the things that often comes up in discussions with Women moving along the path to a Female Led Relationship is prenuptial agreements. We advise Women contemplating marriage to consult an attorney about a prenuptial arrangement. For a couple contemplating an FLR, a prenuptial agreement can definitely further the desires of each party, in that it can firmly establish Her control and his responsibilities.

As we’ve noted often in our posts, financial control is one of the key tenets of an FLR. A Woman we both know, who i will call Jane, followed our advice and, before She ever called a wedding planner, spoke with an attorney; after all, she decided, no agreement, no wedding! With the help of the attorney and some inputs from others, Jane put together and got her fiance’s approval on a prenuptial agreement. There was no negotiation of the terms. Briefly some of the non-negotiable items in Jane’s agreement were as follows:

§  Jane retains sole ownership over property and money She brought into the marriage
§  bob’s accounts was transferred to Jane
§  Jane is solely responsible for finances
§  Credit card accounts are in Jane’s name only; bob’s have been closed
§  bob’s car was transferred to, and immediately sold by, Jane
§  Assets bob might later inherit will be transferred to Jane

In addition, an addendum to the agreement stipulated that:
§  Jane has the right to have bob take Her name (she has not yet exercised this option); Jane will not take bob’s name
§  bob accepts responsibility for all housework and for “tasks and responsibilities” She may add
§  bob recognizes Jane’s right to her own social circles, some of which may not include him

Nancy and i had a prenuptial agreement, too. It was drawn up by Nancy and her mother Sue two days before we married. Like Jane’s, it was take-it-or-leave-it with some of the same items noted above. This may seem restrictive to an outsider, but it ensured my lifestyle. In our prenup, i recognized my Wife’s authority, Her entitlement to Her friends, and the “special position” of Sue within our household.

And, indeed, my Mother-in-law, Sue, does have a special position. i defer to Her as i would to Nancy. Indeed, Sue is included in my vows. i agreed to “love, honor, worship, and obey Her, showing all deference:

§  i love this strong assertive Woman and tell Her so;
§  i honor Her by showing my deference in dress, word, and action and by listening to Her every pronouncement;
§  i worship Her by prostrating myself before Her, heeding Her wisdom, and showing Her homage;
§  i obey Her by immediately, acknowledging Her commands and carrying them out to the letter.

Nancy of course is the head of our household, but with Her long hours at Her job She delegates much of the day-to-day management of things to Her Mother, Sue.  Sue is very much in charge, and i respond to Her exactly as i would Nancy. Sue has authority and exercises it; She can command and correct and does so!

Nancy and I have subsequently renewed our vows three times and each time modified our agreement. The last profession of our vows was to align ourselves with the teachings of our new Woman-centric congregation. My renewed vows included one of fidelity as well as one processing my loyalty to Sue. i was excited that Nancy modified our agreement to include – like Jane – Her option to have me take Her name. i’ve long fantasized about this, going so far as to think that when the time came, i’d like to hyphenate, although i recognized that that choice would be Nancy’s. i have discussed it with Sue as well, and She seemed favorably disposed. i thought that including it in the agreement was a prelude to my making a name change – but it wasn’t, for as Nancy announced to the crowd, She didn’t think i deserved such an honor. Yes, this was humiliating, but it’s good to be put in one’s place on occasion.


d

Monday, November 10, 2014

dennis: ON LOAN TO LINDA


My friend, tom, is currently out of town on business leaving his Wife, Linda, without a housekeeper. Linda doesn’t do housework – none of the Women in our group of FLR couples does! Real men – not Women - do housework! These Women need not worry, however – one of the other Women’s husbands can be loaned out to her for the duration.
 
So – i’m on loan to Linda for the two weeks that Her husband is gone. She made arrangements with (my Mother-in-law) Sue to borrow me to do a variety of tasks in tom’s absence. I has all been worked out between Linda and Sue; tom and i had nothing whatever to do with the arrangement – we, as men, can’t make such arrangements.

Every weekday for the next two weeks i’ll report to Linda for two hours a day – longer on weekends – and do a prescribed set of chores to keep things in Her house running smoothly. It goes without saying that i’ll obey Her and do things Her way.

Linda, a Deity in Her own right!

Linda, tom’s Wife is a VERY demanding, in-your-face Woman, in some ways very much like, yet in other ways quite unlike, Nancy. Linda demands obedience, and there is hell to pay if She doesn’t get it. While Nancy and Sue give me some latitude in my work and in addressing the consequences of my mistakes, Linda is always watching closely, ready to give a crisp admonition or a good kick at every turn. She has a demeaning style that creates a tense environment. She strives to tear down the patriarchal male and replace him with a different, more obedient, even effeminate one. She believes that men need this because “men will stray if you don’t tell them exactly what to do.”

Linda despises patriarchy and does Her best to dismantle it, one man at a time! A good example is the names She uses for tom and me. tom is “Tootsie” and i’m “SuziQ.” And each of us better use these names when we’re in Her home, although we’ll both admit to some slip-ups at work. And then theres the service uniform. Linda has initiated many of the wardrobe rules for male housekeepers and these rules continue to evolve. Just like the servants of the Edwardian period, aprons, slippers, and appropriate accessories are mandatory. It’s not enough to do housework; a male has to do housework appropriately attired!

More on Linda

tom and i met Linda at work. She was a very demanding administrative assistant who later became office manager. In fact, Linda created and filled the position of office manager, and no one would dare challenge Her authority. Linda raised hell and created a certain tension, but kept the office running very efficiently. Most of the men in the office steered clear of her, referring to Her as the “office bitch.” It was a title and demeanor that immediately got both tom and me interested. Had i not been engaged to Nancy at that point, tom would have had some competition for Linda’s hand. tom married the demanding Linda. and both have been happy ever since.

Housekeeping for Linda - a privilege for the progressive male


As per Linda’s arrangements with Sue whenever tom is unavailable to fulfill his domestic duties, i show up each day at 4 p.m. for at least two hours of housekeeping. i take my wardrobe, cleaning supplies, and a list of chores that Sue has given me and go straight to Sue’s house. i pull into the driveway, and She opens one of the garages for me to pull in. She will not let me leave until my chores have been completed. I bring a large motif totebag with everything i need to do my chores and to be appropriately dressed.

Linda has mops and brooms, but i’m responsible for cleaning supplies, my feather duster, and miscellaneous items. i’m also responsible for my wardrobe – an apron to be sure, but also slippers and some appropriate accessories that Linda appreciates, earrings, a bangle or two, and something else a “bit girlie to “take off the masculine edge,” in Linda’s terms, maybe even a headpiece. This may sounds funny, but it is exciting for me to comply with Linda’s rules and it certainly does distance me from any masculinity and instill humility. i feel much better about myself in Linda’s service when i lose any traces of male persona!

So, when i pull into the Linda’s garage, i have five minutes to transform myself from a businessman to housekeeper, from dennis to SuziQ! i shed my business suit, throwing it into the back seat. i pull on shorts, a sleeveless top, and my lace-trimmed, satin apron. i’ve already used the time at traffic lights to put on large hoop earrings – i get strange looks from men in pickup trucks! – and silver rings on all of my fingers, things that I hope Linda will appreciate (tom often wears the same earrings). A few bangles and i’m ready with the exception of having forgotten my slippers! There’s sure to be hell to pay since male shoes and bare feet are forbidden in Linda’s domain. But it’s too late…

Linda has entered the garage. i’m tense since i don’t have slippers, but i greet Her with the expected curtsey – “Good afternoon Madame, i’m here to serve!”

“Good afternoon, SuziQ,” She responds, in a devilish tone, but soon She’s enraged at my having forgetten my slippers. “Is it too damn much for you to bring slippers?” She demands, giving me a swift kick. She disappears into the house to get a substitute, a pair of knee-hi nylons. “Put these on, sissy boi,” She commands, wanting to humiliate me. i put on the beautiful sheer nylons, but they are a treat and not a punishment, although i don’t dare say so. i follow Her into the house to tend to my chores.

There is a long list of things Linda wants done. She’s very aggressive in dealing with me, something that i have come to expect and appreciate. Toilets are first, all of them have to be cleaned; Women despise and disdain cleaning toilets more than any other household chore. Because of this i love cleaning toilets; doing so gives me a real sense of service, and the Women really appreciate my efforts – now that’s service!

Then i move on to the living room. Linda has had guests, and there’s a lot of cleaning to do. Cups to pick up, tables to clean, TV remotes to gather and return, spot cleaning of the carpet because of a spill, romance novels to gather so their owners can find them. Then there’s vacuuming; i have to vacuum the entire house, but i love running the vacuum! Linda follows me as I vacuum, “Faster, faster” She exhorts me!

Then onto the kitchen where i unload the dishwasher and reload it with cups and saucers gathered from about the house. Finally, Linda, like Sue, loves to see my feather duster flying about the house. And it does fly, as i move about the house dusting everything in sight, my lace trimmed satin apron swishing with every move! i’m giving Her what i feel is great service and feeling damn good about it! It is, in our FLR-defined world, the feel of a real man! As for Linda, She’s following me about the house, criticizing my performance and having me do more. For a submissive gentleman, this is a delicious experience! i feel totally divorced from patriarchy – totally fulfilled! – and want more, and i tell Linda that!

She promises more when i return next day. She’d keep me all evening but She has a commitment to Sue to return me for Her chores. Linda escorts me to the garage and into my car. She allows me no time to change – i’m to go home as SuziQ, apron, earrings, bangles, and all.  I’m tremendously excited and fulfilled and look forward to tomorrow.

I leave as SuziQ, looking to repeat two hours of high-energy performance for Sue, waiting at home. It’s what a real man lives for – the opportunity to serve Women!



Tuesday, November 4, 2014

POSTSCRIPT: KAITLIN’S FLR RESEARCH

From Mark Remond: I must apologize to readers of this blog. In the final paragraph of the preceding post (from dennis), I misinterpreted dennis’ email to me on reader contributions to Kaitlin’s ongoing research on FLRs. She is not looking to post an FLR questionnaire on this site. What She is trying to do, dennis explains, is broaden the number of Women and couples from whom she can get information, to see if the trends She’s seeing so far hold up.

More specifically, Kaitlin is looking for Women and couples who are willing to share information about their relationship and experiences, particularly as regards the authority and latitude the Woman have exercised over the course of the marriage. She’s looking for Women first, and then, ideally, Husbands who can speak to their relationship with a strong Woman. And because Kaitlin is interested in historical trends, She is interested in information from strong Women who had to exert that strength in an era of strict gender roles featuring stereotypically weak Females.

Kaitlin is also interested to learn how men married to strong and assertive Women during these decades coped? Yes, there were many such husbands, according to Kaitlin’s research thus far, husbands who were seeing other men on TV who fit the macho mold while they were obediently putting on aprons and taking instructions from their Wives on domestic duties. Why were so many men absolutely thrilled with this arrangement when it defied patriarchal conventions?

According to Kaitlin the best male interviews are from:

§  Men who describe surrendering their patriarchal authority to a Woman as soon as they walked in the door
§  Men who feared their Wives; many fearing Her temper, let alone Her discipline
§  Men who shopped with their Wives – a no-no back in the “Father Knows Best” era – dutifully standing by as She tried on and subsequently bought outfits and then carrying Her bags as She shopped store-to-store
§  Men accommodating their Wives’ social activities by staying at home and tending to household chores
§  Men who wouldn’t dare come home at least once a week without flowers or candy for a demanding lady
§  Strong businessmen who dutifully surrendered their pay to their Wife, recognizing Her authority and never questioning Her
§  Men who played the powerful man role at a party with his Wife on his arm, only to surrender to Her in the car

Readers who meet Kaitlin’s suggested criteria, and who are willing to provide information along these lines, are invited to write to me — markremond@yahoo.com – and I will forward your emails on to dennis, and ultimately to Kaitlin. Please note the following from dennis, however: “While Kaitlin would love inputs from a few select men, Her real interest is seeking Women's inputs around such experiences.”

Friday, October 31, 2014

dennis: KAITLIN RESEARCHING ALPHA FEMALES & ‘beta bois’


Several times i’ve mentioned the informal workshops Nancy and i occasionally conduct at our local Women’s Center, workshops aimed at encouraging Female-Led Relationships. i’ve also written several posts* about one of the past attendees, Kaitlin, a young woman student at a local college who, partly through our encouragement, became enthralled with Female-Led Relationships.



Kaitlin, who regards herself as a Female Supremacist, is pursuing her graduate degree with the goal of getting a college teaching position in a Women’s Studies program from which She can continue to work inspiring and empowering Women. So far, in fact, most of her wide-ranging research projects have been related, directly or indirectly, to female empowerment.

Recently Kaitlin has been conducting preliminary research on what factors constitute solid relationships. She’s working on a theory that, for the increasing number of Alpha Females, beta men – or as She calls us, “beta bois” – make better partners. It’s all about opposites attracting. Kaitlin is finding out that Alpha Women like a beta boi in their lives, and that they consider them to make better husbands. Alpha men aren’t out of the picture, though; according to Kaitlin’s research, many Alpha Women regard Alpha men as wonderful play toys, although not many consider them as viable long-term partners.

It’s fascinating what Kaitlin has discovered so far. Her long-range goal is to come up with a richly detailed portrait of the modern, Woman-led marriage. In her current phase, she is working to develop a questionnaire through which to conduct her further research.

My question to the readers of this blog: Are you interested in contributing to Kaitlin’s ongoing research? If so, and you are currently living in a Woman-Led Marriage, at some point I may ask for your responses to specific questions on this increasingly popular relationship dynamic and lifestyle. Stay tuned.



Friday, October 24, 2014

'VIVIAN': POWER IS SEXY


(Note from Mark Remond: This post is a reprise from the 7-part “Revisiting Vivian’s Domain” archive on this website (scroll down right-hand column), specifically from a longer essay that appears in Part 4, “Toward A Fantastic Marriage: How and Why Domestic Discipline Works.” “Vivian’s Domain” was originally hosted on Geocities.com, but is no longer extant, even on the Wayback Machine. “Vivian” (a cybername) addressed herself to wives, especially those seeking to recapture the romance in their marriage. )

BEAUTY AND POWER

A key component of every man’s sexuality is awe. When he sees a beautiful woman’s face or an attractive figure he is drawn almost against his will. The power that beauty has to take his attention is not lost on him. He is awestruck and overcome by that power. Have you ever noticed how men behave toward a beautiful woman? They fall all over themselves to please her in some way. Even when there is no way such behavior will result in a sexual experience, men become the willing servants of beauty.

Think about it. Your husband’s in a traffic jam. He’s mad. Somebody tries to cut in ahead of him. He curses and revs his engine and inches up to be sure the other car doesn’t get an inch ahead of him. Another car comes into view and wants to cut ahead of him. A pretty face peeks out and waves a delicate hand. What does your husband do? If he’s anything like mine, the same man that cursed and screamed at the car before suddenly becomes gracious. He smiles and nods and lets the lady pass. In this situation he may have his wife and kids in the car and be travelling through a place he will never be again. So there’s no chance he thinks he’ll ever see that woman again. Still, the instinct kicks in. There is power he cannot resist, and he is amazed at his own helplessness. He is in awe of those who can elicit that helplessness. And the most important thing I’ve found is that a man is most helpful to a woman when she makes him feel helpless.

POWER AND BEAUTY

The preceding observation is obvious to most women. We feel it far too often. We see our husbands looking at other women as if they were goddesses and looking at us as if we were mere functionaries, striving to be helpful to women they hardly know and ignoring the needs of the woman who dedicates herself to him and his family. Sometimes we become angry and resentful of our husbands, knowing that it is simply not right that he looks at other women with the passion that rightfully belongs to us. Sometimes we get down on ourselves, feeling unattractive and taken for granted and cheated out of his affection.

Although there are some exceptions (women who are so beautiful and remain so beautiful that they can inspire their husbands with that beauty even after years of marriage), for most women, even attractive ones, it is not possible after years of cohabitation and child bearing to become beautiful enough to inspire the kind of awe that will motivate her husband. So, what can a woman do?

She can understand this: Not only is there power in beauty, there is beauty in power! The “take my breath away” kind of awe that a man feels when he sees a stunningly beautiful woman is similar to the feelings he had as a young adolescent toward women of power in his life—teachers, neighborhood moms, and strict women in general.

In order to make your husband a better man and a better spouse, you need to make him eager to win your approval and fearful of earning your disapproval. You must exert the kind of power that grabs his attention, makes you beautiful to him and takes his breath away. You must make him adore you again!

Making him adore and respect you is a lot easier than you think…

…In these women [I have spoken with] I have found an underlying belief that power is bad, that to want power is worse, and that to actually exercise power is evil. It has been ingrained in these women that they are not worthy of power.

My message is that power is all over the place and cannot be avoided. If you do not exercise power, someone or something else will. It is not only your privilege to exercise power but a moral duty as well.

Domestic Discipline is a wonderful way to re-energize a stagnant sex life in a marriage. If that were its only purpose it would be worthwhile, but it does not stop there. Domestic Discipline secures a marriage on moral ground. Even Freud recognized this when he wrote that “A marriage is not secure until the wife takes a maternal view of her husband.”

For some women this is a difficult concept to accept because we tend to confuse morality with convention. In America today discipline of any kind has become unconventional, but the tide is turning. We are starting to appreciate again the benefits of traditional discipline and the value of submitting to authority in our lives.

While most women understand their own need to submit to authority, they do not understand how important it is for their husbands to do so as well, and the difficulty they have submitting to an authority that is not tangible. If we look at the history of the church in Western civilization, we find that most of the truly steadfast submission to God and church has been
practiced by women. Men have sought to make church an opportunity to gain and exercise power rather than to submit to it. Maybe it’s easier to submit to a God of the opposite gender, that a quality of “otherness” is necessary to truly submit to another, or that there is an element of sexuality even in our spirituality.

We do not hear Domestic Discipline spoken of publicly by society’s moral standard-bearers, and we certainly don’t hear about it in most churches. It is practiced, however, in many more homes than you would think. Except for the few select friends with whom I have shared the disciplinary aspect of my marriage, no one has any idea that my husband and I are practicing this. Others do envy my marriage, the devotion my husband displays toward me and the ease with which we get along. I hear such comments with some regularity. Those who make those comments sometimes ask me for my “secret.” I usually just smile and tell them how lucky I am to be married to such a good man. And I am. The honesty and vulnerability my husband shows by accepting my authority are gifts that most men are afraid to give their wives. He truly is a good man, and he gets better all the time—because I see to it that he does!

I have strayed a bit from the purpose of this section. The following are some of the moral advantages of Domestic Discipline:

THE MORAL ADVANTAGES OF DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE

* A husband who is more faithful to the marriage in heart, mind and body
* Safe, supportive and fun ways to release anger and tension in a marriage
* Motivation for a husband to continually improve himself (“He who stops being better stops being good.”—Oliver Cromwell)
* Increased vulnerability and intimacy in the marriage
* The moral authority in a marriage in is the hands of the partner with the greater tendency toward traditional morality.
* Stronger marital bonding
* The power struggles that can arise in a marriage and cause great problems are replaced with the peaceful acceptance of authority


Friday, October 10, 2014

dennis: DOMESTIC SKILLS IN A FEMALE LED RELATIONSHP—LEARNING TO IRON (Part 2)

Picking an Iron: Just like a golfer takes pride in the tools of Her hobby – Her clubs (including irons!) – so, too, do i take pride in the tool of my hobby – my iron! Pick an iron carefully; there are many good models available, so shop around. Look at them in the store, pick them up and see what is comfortable. Go through the ironing motions and see how it feels.

As far as ironing ease goes, i feel that an iron with a stainless-steel base performs better than one with a cheaper aluminum base. You can spend a little or a lot, but you definitely get what you pay for in an iron. Expect to pay at least $100 for a good model; mine cost $130. What you spend in dollars you’ll get back in terms of ironing ease and features.

And do speak with other progressive gentleman about ironing; ask them about their choice of irons, consider sharing and borrowing as a test run before you buy. i say before you buy, since most of the progressive gentlemen i know are permitted by their wives to buy their own iron. It’s interesting to buy an iron in a store, especially if you are accompanied by a Woman. Even though the progressive gentleman might ask questions about an iron, the clerk invariably looks to the Woman with the answer and sales pitch. Nancy had to repeatedly tell the clerk that “he” (meaning “me!”) does the ironing, so answer him.” Eventually the saleswoman caught on and liked the idea of a man using an iron. Old patriarchal behaviors do die hard, but people need to learn that, in the new order of things, men do – and will – iron.

(Note: See also Nancy & dennis: “My New Iron,” Sept. 21, 2012)

Additional Thoughts on Ironing as a Gentlemanly Skill:

In the first of this two-part posting, i provided a checklist of things to consider, but there is a great deal more to be learned if a gentlemen is to become truly accomplished at the ironing board. Some of this can come from numerous o-line sources, some from knowledgeable Women – as was my case – and some from experience.

By coincidence, i recently received an email from Jane, a Woman in charge of “domestic education” at the Women’s Center where i volunteer. She’s thinking about doing a multiple-session ironing course for men that would include hands-on instruction as well as extensive practicum. Ironing is already taught in the Center’s Housekeeping 101 course, but a specialized course makes sense since ironing is definitely one thing that most Women would like to see their husbands do better.

i’m all in favor of the idea and am working with Jane to come up with a curriculum. A practicum will be easy – we’ll simply have Women bring in their ironing for students to work on - under strict supervision, of course, to ensure that none of the loaned items are damaged.

Some progressive gentlemen in our number are increasingly open about their FLR lifestyle. These are the gentlemen who, like me, routinely volunteer at the Women’s Center, attend our Women’s-Centered congregation, or those who have a fulfilled relationship with a strong-willed Woman. Unfortunately these gentlemen sometimes endure whispered words intended to degrade such involvements as “sissy,” “pantywaist,” “wimp,” “pussywhipped,” and so on.

It’s unfortunate that the narrow-minded perpetrators of such insults don’t see that the future is feminine and that when gentlemen embrace such new roles, they are pointing the direction of society. But perhaps we at whom such comments are directed should not consider them derogatory, but complimentary! i never thought of my domestic service as making me a “sissy,” but if one looks at the standard definition of sissy as a “man who violates or does not meet the standard male gender role,” then, yes, i am a sissy and damn proud of it! And if surrendering my ill-granted and undeserved male authority to Women makes me a “pantywaist,” then i embrace that term, too. i passionately embrace the role of progressive gentlemen, but never that of the patriarchal male. In fact, i’ll do my damnedest to undermine the patriarchal male!

The Center is always looking to do things that benefit Women while affording men an opportunity to serve and – dare i say – atone for patriarchy. To this end, the Center now has an opportunity to acquire a now closed laundromat and is considering running a drop-off laundry service for Women. male volunteers would staff the service under the supervision of one or more of the Center’s staff. The Center would charge Women a nominal fee for the service, which would be used to cover costs and provide another source of revenue for programs. Carol, my Boss Lady at work, is very supportive of the idea and announced that working at the laundromat would count toward the service hours that male employees are encouraged to earn as our company’s support of the Center.

Good idea, don’t you think?

*
Ironing is an essential male function in an FLR. Of the FLR couples we know, men do all the ironing all the time. A man at the ironing board makes a powerful statement about a couple’s relationship. It totally divorces Her from a task that, done by a Woman, says patriarchy. He, on the other hand, has clearly taken on a task that establishes both his new role and points to Her authority.

Women generally hate to iron, but men, if introduced to the task, can learn to love it! Women see ironing as a patriarchy-imposed task while men see it as an important part of their new – and exciting role – as housekeepers.

guys! Here’s a business opportunity! If you’ve got some free time you might consider taking in ironing! With all the services on line there appears to be some demand. Women don’t like to iron and you do! Sooooo!

Women, whether in progressive relationships or not, feel men should have at least partial responsibility for ironing.

Women in progressive relationships feel that every man should own an iron and that it should be one of his own choosing.

While a Woman rightly wants to limit Her man’s spending, we advise that a top-of-the-line iron is a good investment in Her man’s ironing skills and efficiency. Limit his spending in other ways or consider having him purchase a new iron using his own money.

Where does a man do the ironing? Wherever She wants him to! You can restrict him to the solitude of the laundry room as does Linda, my friend tom’s Wife. Linda has a preference for tom’s household work being done out of sight, so much of tom’s housekeeping takes place when Linda is out or, in the case of ironing, behind the closed door of the laundry room. Nancy and Sue, on the other hand, often have me set up my ironing at one side of the living room in plain view of them and any guests. To have a man ironing while the Women watch TV or socialize is a powerful statement.

With the holidays fast approaching, consider that an iron makes a perfect gift for the progressive gentleman, and one that is right for any occasion! Things that allow him to do a job better or faster should be on the top of Your list for him.

Couples contemplating a housewarming, bachelor party or the like might consider giving an iron as a practical gift for the man of the relationship – and it also makes a powerful statement about the couple’s relative roles in the relationship. Incidentally, progressive gentlemen have bachelor parties that are more like Bridal showers of the past. The ones i’ve attended have been dignified, Woman-chaperoned affairs featuring fine china and crystal stemware.

Consider registering your man in the gift registry of a local department store. Register his china patterns, needed household items, small appliances (an iron!) to assist gift givers.


What’s on my list for Santa? A steam fabric press, like the ones used by dry cleaners.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

A Romantic Fable of Femdom Fiction

Having recently published a collection of my own femdom fiction, I have found myself scanning the related titles grouped by Amazon on my product page—i.e., “Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed…” On the basis of a  “Look inside,” I've purchased a half-dozen.

Some were good, some so-so, some extremely un-good, to be diplomatic. One, however, was terrific, worthy to go alongside the femdom tales of my friend William Gaius, whom I’ve mentioned here before, and the fiendishly erotic stories of Eosuchus, about whom I’ve also blogged.

The new book is Unexpected Present, a “femdom love story” by Ryan Peterson. I was instantly intrigued and charmed by my “Look Inside.” What’s this, I thought? The opening suggested a Christmas gift-exchange fable along the lines of O. Henry’s legendary “Gift of the Magi”—except instead of canceling each other out, the "Unexpected" love gift exchange promised to compound into a sizzling hot D/s voyage of discovery.

That promise is abundantly fulfilled as the story unfolds. There is lots of kinky experimentation, which drives the loving husband ever deeper into submission as the wife doubles down on her dominance. The ultimate effect, however, is to tighten the bonds of love and friendship along with the D/s bonds.

As the author confided to me later, “I was trying to write a story where the relationship (and love) between the two main characters was as important as the sex scenes.” In fact, for me, the sweet love scenes (with lots of “cuddle time”) made the torrid sex scenes even hotter.

Highly recommended and available in multiple ebook formats from, appropriately enough, SizzlerEditions. Get it early for a romantic and erotic Christmas present.