Monday, December 9, 2013
We had a series of Men’s Nights Out, three of them, all in two weeks, and of course all-women approved. Typically we’re only allowed one night out a month, but the women came up with some events they thought would benefit the guys, so…
The first event was a session on the Japanese Art of Ikebana or flower arranging. The women feel that the men in our group have progressed beyond simply keeping the house clean and need to take a step forward and be better at decorating. It’s this feeling on the part of the women that’s driving a Housekeeping 201: Gracious Living course at the Women’s Center. And the men agree!
We all have a collection of vases and make sure flowers are a part of our décor, but Ikebana goes beyond simple flower arranging. It uses different style vessels, varying arrangements and can display different parts of the plant. It’s an art form! Yoshi, our instructor and a friend of Nancy’s mother, Sue, had never taught men and was hesitant to do so, thinking we wouldn’t be serious students. Sue convinced her otherwise and I’m sure it helped to have Sue chaperone the event.
We saw some demonstrations and got to try a few things ourselves. Yoshi is a “feminist in the making” but has a long way to go as far as her attitudes are concerned. She has a tendency to want to serve and defer to men. Of course, no one, male or female, at our meeting was going to let her do this. Instead the men served her and Sue and cleaned up as the evening ended.
The guys learned a lot, but so did Yoshi. She learned that she liked being served and called ”Ma’am.” She was thrilled to have Sue ring a bell and have one of the guys immediately come to serve them, asking how he could help. And she learned about changing roles that have men obeying their wives, doing housework and, yes, even having serious interest in Ikebana. Sue is going to have Yoshi visit again, not just to teach Ikebana, but to socialize. Sue’s betting that a little more of Yoshi’s being served by men will have her changing things at home.
MNO No. 2—Yes, We Do Windows
Our second recent evening out was also arranged by Sue. She convinced Sandy, her friend and an interior decorator, to host an evening at her shop for the guys. Sandy agreed but wanted to focus on one topic and chose window treatments. Now those of us keeping house realize the importance of window treatments, so we were excited to learn from a pro, and so we all were sent off for an evening at Sandy’s shop.
The guys arrived early and helped Sandy with some things around the shop—vacuuming, dusting, and, yes, doing windows. We served a light meal and some great California wine. Sandy gave us a two-hour course on window treatments—blinds, drapes, curtains, sheers, valences, and rods. There’s a lot to learn and the guys enjoyed learning it. Sandy rarely had men in her shop but enjoyed the guys’ demeanor and attention. As for the guys, we learned a lot and came away with window treatment ideas we’d like to try. Of course we knew that any major purchases required our wives’ approval. Tom was the exception; then and there he picked out curtains for his family room. Let’s hope Tom’s wife agrees with his selection; but the rest of us are betting he got Linda’s approval in advance.
MNO No. 3—A Night at the Center
The theme for our third men’s night out was “Working for Feminism, Atoning for Patriarchy.”
This session was a little different. As men committed to Matriarchy and Feminist causes, the men in our group feel deeply obligated to serve women and promote their interests. Tom and I spend every Wednesday night working at the center. Both our wives are directors at the center, so we worship our wives by working at a place so dear to both of them. It is in this spirit that we encouraged the rest of the guys to join us and volunteer as a group to spend an evening there, doing whatever needed to be done. Our wives approved, so I also called the center for permission.
By their own proud admission, the women there are “angry Feminists” who don’t want men just showing up, supposedly to help out, and then causing trouble. Men have to be recommended by someone known to the center, preferably a woman, although a man with Feminist credentials will do. Sue and i recommended the guys to the center. When men arrive they have to sign in and show ID; the women want to know exactly who’s there. After we signed in, Connie, the woman in charge (wearing a top emblazoned “BITCH”), handed us all pink shirts to wear that identified us as volunteers who’d been signed in. These shirts are left over from past marches and rallies and adorned with a word or phrase.
That was it, no small talk, no welcome, no going around the room for introductions, and certainly no thank you for coming. There’s never a thank you; it’s the women who are doing the men a favor by giving them an opportunity for repentance. We were told what to do and soon we were busy filing, copying, serving coffee, cleaning, vacuuming—whatever was needed, whatever we were told.
The women are demanding at the center, but that’s okay. As men we have to take responsibility for how patriarchy has unjustly benefited men at the expense of women. We realize that men—all men—have to atone for the sins of the past whether we, as individuals, were responsible or not. The women at the center realize that progressive gentlemen want to atone, but that doesn’t mean it has to be easy. To the contrary, atonement has to be hard, so the center makes it hard. They are very demanding. “Get to work,” “No chitchat,” “You call that clean?” and the like are often heard as the women make sure they get the most out of every male volunteer.
Sounds tough, but there’s very little turnover. Most men who volunteer come back to the small church basement on a regular basis and help as they can, doing things in the relative shelter of the center or even doing very public things like participating in Feminist rallies and marches. The public events are particularly important since by men's openly participating, they just may encourage other men to sympathize with Women's causes and even motivate them to participate themselves.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
There have been some interesting reader questions about my last posting. Here are my responses for three of the questions. I will respond to the others when my work week calms down a little.
Q. What are your basic beliefs on Female led Relationships?
I believe FLRs are an invaluable relationship model and can be structured any way the woman pleases, and that any man can be encouraged into a Female Led Relationship. Men have been confused about their ability to lead about how much they need to lead, and as things turn back around to a better spot, it will take them time to adjust to a new, more appropriate role. Some men might put up a fight, they might not understand everything that happens, but ultimately, if a positive image for the obedient male can be reinforced in their life, it will become easier for them to adjust to a subordinate role, and they will start to see that women are, in general, better and more understanding leaders. It's important to be patient with men while they make this transition.
Q. How did you come by them [i.e., your basic beliefs]?
I think I always held beliefs about LFA (Loving Female Authority). I grew up with a mother who, though a housewife, exercised complete control at home, and I began disciplining my male cousins, both older and younger. Ever since it has been my dream to have exactly what I want in a relationship, and when I met my little man I found the perfect match. He loves me so much he will do anything to please me, and that is just what I want.
Q. How did you train your boy?
Because we met when he was so young and naive, it was easy to coax out of him those submissive states it takes forever to coax out of other men. When we resumed our relationship (after my return to France from school), he had picked up all sorts of bad habits from other women. For women hoping to elicit a more docile and obedient companion, I have some ideas. (By the way, it would be great to hear from others on the forum, what they do or what their women do to encourage submissive behavior.)
Be firm and confident in your leadership. Women often use questions when talking to men – why??? Use STATEMENTS, and statements only. If you feel uncertain about your leadership, volunteer—not only are you helping a community or cause, but you are also stimulating your decision making and leadership qualities. In my line of work I am virtually self-employed, and if you don't have confidence in your leadership skills, you are lost. Be confident that you are always right, and let your man know that you are, and that he must back down and be obedient. Men respect power, they only understand strength. If you have weaknesses, or an unclear vision, do NOT show it. Do what you're going to do and stick to your decisions at all times! ALL TIMES!
Have a solution in mind. In keeping with the above, do not discuss with your man what his change of behaviour will be—tell him what his change in behaviour will be. “Do this...” It helps. Sometimes be gentle, sometimes stern.
Praise him when he concedes in an argument. I ruffle his hair, pat him on the cheek, and sometimes pat him on his bottom when he has conceded, talking to him gently and telling him, “See, that wasn't so bad,” or something else. Sometimes I say, randomly, “You've been so good lately.”
Encourage him to focus on other things while you take care of the main problems. I never share my problems with my boy, I use other things to distract him. I tell him to do the laundry, the dishes, make the beds, go for a walk, go play some music, or to do something else while I fix the problem. Sometimes he argues, like when we had the rent problem, but I snap my finger and tell him to “get distracted.” He knows what that means.
Infantilize. I love infantilizing my boy. It makes me feel so amorous towards him. I remind him that he really doesn't know what he's doing, or all the facts of the matter, and he shouldn't worry about them. “Now, now,” I say, “I know this is difficult for you, so why don't you go take care of those dishes/that dinner/go read, and I'll figure it out.” Keep in mind that men are, in general, seven years behind women in their emotional growth. They need leadership and guidance, and they should understand they need to be told what to do. It will help them adjust to their roles.
Praise his submissive qualities when he demonstrates them, at random. Tell him, “See, you are so much more enjoyable to be around when you stick to what you're good at...” “I love it when you are relaxed, instead of that argumentative, jerk way when you argue.” “Why do you argue with me all the time?”
My boy is more of an affection guy. He loves to be loved, to know he is giving pleasure. I touch him gently, I kiss him, I tell him how handsome he is, then I deliberately stop listening to him, and get my way. As much as I have used punishment, as I have well documented, I use gentility as much as firmness to show him where he belongs.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
(Note from Mark Remond: Dennis’ posts on the Housekeeping 101 course administered by the Women’s Center where he volunteers continues to elicit comments. Here are two recent ones with Dennis’ responses.)
I am up late, just waiting for a load of laundry to finish drying, and decided to catch up on your blog. I re-read this entry because I found it so inspiring the first time.
I am not surprised at all at the level of interest for Housekeeping 101 by so many husbands. After all, something worth doing is worth doing right, and housework above all is worth doing, I am proud to say. I take great pride, and put all my efforts into keeping our home prim and proper.
This leads me to my question. How long is the typical waiting list to begin the application and vetting process for this (in my case) much-needed course for men? The vacuuming component especially caught my interest. I also need some tips from a stern woman on how to properly scrub a toilet.
I think $125 is quite a bargain for this, especially since the practicum component only costs $25 for intruding on another person’s time. My wife is willing to lend me the money, otherwise it would simply be out of my price range, despite being such an incredible bargain.
As i told Mark, Housekeeping 101 is not something that is offered to the general public; it's limited to those who are active in the center and to men with demonstrated FLR credentials. It's not game-playing; it's serious work! And it's not cheap either! $125 is only the application fee. There is tuition, a $25 weekly gratuity to the Woman hosting one's practicum, other fees, and a mandatory contribution. There are minimum levels for donations to an approved Feminist charity; men usually make this to the center itself. men pay fees at the center whether they are participating in a program or simply volunteering. i make a monthly contribution for the privilege of volunteering. It's a way to raise money and a way to atone for the sins of patriarchy, as well as a way to “give back” and redress the income disparities that women endure. Real men accept the need to financially contribute to women's causes.
Training in the domestic arts is readily available. The women in Nancy's family trained me, teaching me everything I needed to know to fulfill their expectations and to abide by the various protocols Her family put forth.
Another way to get some serious training is to sign on with a maid service. I've done this when one of (my Mother-in-law) Sue's friends who runs a housekeeping service needed extra help. Sue volunteered me. Not only did i learn a lot, but i learned to do my assigned tasks quickly and efficiently, what with the assertive management of our crew leader, a no-nonsense businesswoman who realized that time was money.
I recently have started a job, about 6 hours per day in the housekeeping department of a large hotel. This has helped my bathroom cleaning, and bed making, and vacuuming skills at home. When I am done my part-time job, I have to get home so I can have dinner on the table for my wife, do the dishes, and either clean or do some laundry.
Since the purpose of this job is education, of course the money is deposited into my wife's bank account. I only mention this because this could be a good idea for others interested in Housekeeping 101. —Albert
As i stated in another response, this is an excellent idea! Working in the housekeeping department in a large hotel will teach you many skills that you can use in your duties at home. And an added bonus is that you're likely to be working for a demanding Woman, and we all can use a bit of humility!
In my case i received training from the Women of Nancy's family and by working with a maid service run by the friend of Nancy's mother, Sue. i learned quite a bit, not the least of which was that tasks had to be done correctly AND quickly. "Speed and quality," our supervisor yells as She makes her rounds to check on my work. It's a great use of my spare time; i say "it's" because from time to time I still go out with the cleaning crew when they need extra help.
And i help out another of Sue's friends who owns a women's clothing botique. At Christmas it's coordinated outfits, at Valentine's Day it's lingerie. She always has a lot of clueless men come into the store looking for gifts. I match up outfits for the men, ensuring that their wives or girlfriends get something special and that i maximize the money the men spend at the store. I'm always looking for ways to max out a guy’s credit card or empty his wallet; the woman in his life deserves nothing less. After all, what's the average guy going to do with money in his pocket? Probably spend it at the bar or sporting goods store; better that the woman in his life has a great outfit and accessories.
My benefit from all this? Well, plenty! Sue gets my earnings and store discount, but I gain knowledge. i've learned so much about coordinating women's clothing that Nancy trusts me to choose her daily outfits and pack her bags when she's going out of town. In a world where men don't even know the size of their wife's bra and pantyhose, I think that's a real compliment and another way to serve my wife. BTW, i serve women at the clothing store, too. They don't expect much from a man but are soon surprised that i have the same clothing coordination skills as the female associates and do a damn good job of gift wrapping! It's another way to please and serve women at, i might add, a great price since I'm sure the women get our best prices and discounts.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
As already noted, “I take discipline [of my boyfriend] very seriously in my house, and I think it really helps cement our amorous relationship.” My previous posting discussed, I hope in a way that was not too graphic, certain “consequences for severe infractions.” I continue that discussion here with additional measures I have taken with boyfriend as part of our discipline routine.
As a punishment, of sorts, I once showed up at his place of work and waited until all his colleagues were present. After a warm greeting I told him what we were doing afterward, and then he turned around to finish up at work. I said, “Hurry it up,” and gave him a firm smack on the bottom right in front of his colleagues and co-workers. He turned bright red, got nervous, but he did hurry up.
He tried, later that day, to ask that I not smack him in public, which really got under my skin. We were in a park, which was busy that time of day. I took this opportunity for a good, old-fashioned public scolding. I shook my finger at him and told him he should have been ready. “If you had not been so disorganized, you would have been out of work by that time, and I would not have to scold you. When you step out of line, there is a consequence, whether that is public or private.” I said it loud enough for people to hear, and he hung his head. He kept his head low all the way back to my house.
I hid his clothes at times, when I wanted to remind him who is in control. We have wardrobes here, and mine has a key in it. One night he was being particularly difficult—he wanted to revise one of our rules, and I said no. So he was out of sorts and was trying to get around it. So I took his clothes and put them in my wardrobe. I felt that by keeping his wardrobe locked and holding onto the key, he would start to understand that all things come from me and that he must comply with the rules in order to gain the privileges I allow him.
The next morning he tried to get into his wardrobe and was surprised it would not open. I performed my usual routine and then told him to make me breakfast, not entertaining any question about the clothes. I said I would explain after breakfast. He had to make breakfast naked, and then he begged me to talk about what I had done. It was 8:30 and even though most businesses in Paris start at 10:00, he wanted to get dressed. I told him he would not be getting his clothes back that day, that he needed to be obedient, and I would give them back when I felt he had learned his lesson. He had to call out of work with a lame illness excuse, going red in the face when he stood there naked. I told him to do the chores and I would see how good he was before I let him have his clothes back. When I came home that house was spotless. I also took the keys to the house, so he could not go anywhere.
He did his chores, and for the rest of the week it was up to me if I wanted to unlock the wardrobe, or if he was going to have to spend another day naked. At the end of the week I asked if he wanted the rule revised, and he said, after looking down meekly at his plate, “No.” So there won't be any more of that.
I sometimes have denied my boyfriend access to any bed at all. One night, after I felt he needed some reminding, I put a pillow and blanket on the floor. When he came into the room he saw them and looked crestfallen. I pointed to the pillow and blanket, and he sighed and asked, “But, why?” I did not answer, I merely kept pointing. This lasted several days before he meekly asked if he could come back to bed. When I explained he had been naughty and had to be punished, he almost started to cry. In his mind he was doing everything he should, but I had different ideas.
This happened last year when he was twenty-three. I don’t ever 'argue' about punishments. They are there, and that's that. This went on several weeks. There were nights when I would see him gazing longingly at the bed, hoping to be let in, or when he would meekly say, at some point during the day while I was cuddling him, “I—I would—when can I come back to bed?” And I would say, “When I feel you’ve learned your lesson.” But he wouldn't beg. I wanted him to beg. I wanted him to be on his knees, literally begging to be let in, but he was trying to be proud. He took it for a long time, some two months, but then finally, after weeks with little sleep and very little energy, he did kneel down and say, “Please, please. I love you, please let me back into bed.”
I did allow him back in his bed, but I keep it as a punishment.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
PARIS—As noted in my previous posting, “I take discipline very seriously in my house, and I think it really helps cement our amorous relationship." And, as promised at the end of that posting, I will here discuss some consequences for severe infractions.
This might be too graphic, but it does give an idea of strict consequences
Of all the consequences for infractions, I think penetration is for him hands down the most humiliating experience. The first time it was done, it was a consequence of his resisting my authority. I had my arms around him while he was doing the dishes, touching his butt, which I do regularly (see below), and he resisted. I wanted to start making love, but he was having a tantrum and said he did not want to. So I made a decision. I wound my hands around his waist and continued to feel him and told him to look straight ahead.
Unfortunately I had to tell him several times and finally I lost my patience. I unzipped his trousers and whispered into his ear, “Get down on your hands and knees.” He started trembling, looking at me and asking, “Why?”
I repeated the command, pointing my finger down at the floor. I kept it down until he knelt down and obeyed. Then I went into my room and got the dildo. I think he expected a spanking. He always grits his teeth beforehand—he HATES to be punished—and returned with it. I pulled down the boxers and that’s when it started.
I hope I am not being too coarse or direct here, but the butt/bottom/posterior is the best place, I think, to humiliate a man. It’s the one spot they never have “invaded.” I don’t know how to say this delicately, but a strap-on should be used as a stern and straightforward punishment. The first time I did this, he cried. Make sure you dominate your little boy completely. I stayed in him a long time and gave him a little kiss, asking him, “Who’s in charge?” while still in him. He could barely get out an answer. “And what’s your job?” I asked next.
“To obey you.”
“That’s a good boy.”
I patted him and eventually let him get dressed.
This is reserved for serious punishments. For days afterward he didn’t look me in the eye. He was miserable for a long time, but it definitely changed his attitude. I administered these punishments in our teens, and I kept them when we took up dating again. They are just as potent now as they were then.
Okay, now I have to admit this is one of my favorite things about our relationship. The posterior/ass/bottom/butt is almost a sacred thing for men; and, of course, because being penetrated is something that rarely happens, unless certain circumstances arise. I am not sure this site is the place for such details, but penetration is a must for the dominant female if she is going to completely put her household in order. For those starting out, however, butt swatting is a good place to start asserting your authority over your man.
I swat my boyfriend’s butt, and it has changed our relationship. Take control of that. Touch it, feel it, grope it, pat it, rub it, know it inside and out, every curve, the whole shape. Make it a habit. Touch it constantly. I sometimes rub it when he is doing the dishes, or scrubbing the floor, or vacuuming. In other words, all the time, just to feel it, and know that it’s all mine.
I DO swat it when I think he’s being sulky, when he’s moping, or just plain being annoying. A good, hard smack on the bottom is just what he needs to get him in line. He doesn’t often have cross words, but when he has a something disrespectful to say, swat that butt! I don’t know about yours, but my man is VERY sensitive to it. He HATES it when I touch his bottom, he feels this mixture of humiliation and gratitude for me touching him.
Pat it lovingly when having sex, or when you admire him or want him to do something. In my house, there is one place he belongs—the kitchen. If he’s not in it, there’s something wrong. So nudge him toward it, and let him know his place.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
It is very exciting to see that women in a otherwise oppressive era were able to control their men, enhance their financial situation, satisfy themselves, and have a man who was happy to comply with her every wish!
We've done five interviews to date. One was with a 78-year-old woman, Darlene, a proudly self-admitted “domineering bitch” who controlled every aspect of her marriage starting around 1960. She gave her interview at the center to a crowd of twenty, mostly women, who cheered and applauded as Darlene described her lifestyle. Her takeing charge of the marriage started when hubby acted up too much and she just totally clamped down on him, an interesting story of confrontation and female power in and of itself.
Darlene’s complete conquest of hubby took less than ten, anger-filled minutes, she told us. They were married for over forty years, and during all those years she never lost control. And it’s interesting to note that she had many of the same things in place in the ‘60s—e.g., phone screening, domestic routines, male rules of etiquette, turning over his paycheck, etc.—that we thought were “new” forty years later! The same controls, incidentally, that the women in Nancy's family also implemented out of their own needs.
In 1960 such a lifestyle that wasn't widespread, but if one looked carefully, Darlene said, “it was there.” And it was there in lesser measure with all of the housewives who henpecked their husbands, a precursor to current FLR lifestyles. Darlene surmised that for every man like her husband, there were four or five husbands who were wife-controlled, but to a lesser degree. In Darlene's case she controlled the money, the social schedule (which usually had hubby at home) and she didn't do housework.
What she did do was set out to please herself, she told us proudly. She spent lavishly— hubby was a big earner—on clothes, shoes, jewelry, and travel. She also had boyfriends to pursue her carnal desires. This ratcheted up attention among her listeners, believe me. And when quickly asked how many boyfriends, she replied “Twenty or so, give or take a few,” to which she received a round of applause. When asked if hubby knew about her men, she said “Probably, but I didn't give a damn! If he wanted to stay married, he had to shut up and accept it. And he
The evening with Darlene was very empowering for women—and very exciting for submissive men!
We are looking to capture more women's stories as part of this project. Sue and her sisters are going to be interviewed, too. While it's interesting to capture these stories, we are speaking with independent, progressive-thinking, aggressive women who, unfortunately, are in the minority. It would be nice to hear from some of the women who simply henpecked their husbands, though. Not sure whether we could put together a website to solicit women's experiences in controlling their men, to whatever degree they did it, but we are thinking about it.
Monday, November 18, 2013
[Note from Mark Remond: Back in the fall of 2009 I published three posts* on “the theory and practice of punishment in female-led relationships,” a topic I had carefully tiptoed around for several years in my books and blog in order to emphasize the romantic, courtship nature of female- and wife-led relationships and Loving Female Authority. But, as I wrote in that initial post on Sept. 9, “Clearly, ‘Loving Female Authority’ presumes a Loving Female vested with the Authority to enforce her will on her guy. Likewise, a Female- or Wife-Led relationship requires a male who follows the woman’s lead. As in any leadership structure, there must be incentives for good performance and disincentives for poor performance, for not following directives. And, in an FLR, it is she who must be empowered to administer those ‘disincentives,’ i.e., penalties or punishments.” Recently I was contacted by a Parisienne, calling herself Hélène, who posted some informative and provocative comments to these old posts of mine. I am happy to report that Hélène has now accepted my invitation to share with my readers some “scenes from her FLR”and her thoughts about discipline as an essential element of Loving Female Authority. As such, she will be “pushing the envelope” of what has thus far appeared on this blog; but I believe that she does so with an eloquence and sensitivity that will be understood and appreciated by the majority of my readers. At least I certainly hope so! And I hope that Hélène will continue contributing her thoughts to this Wife Worship website.]
PARIS—Here are some scenes from our FLR. I take discipline very seriously in my house, and I think it really helps cement our amorous relationship. My boyfriend and I first dated when we were in our teens. I had to leave France to attend school at the time, but when I returned to Paris I found him just as handsome and just as interested in a relationship as when I left. So keep in mind that there are two time periods discussed. It's also important to realize because his inexperience greatly helped in establishing a steady discipline routine.
Our First Home Date
Bringing the boy to see your place is an experience all couples relate to, FLR or not. Because of circumstances it was easier for me to bring him to my place, so I did. I brought him over on a Saturday night as I was tired from work and really did not feel like going out. I brought him home, and wanted to see what he would do. We had been dating a bit, I should say, but this was our first in-home experience. So I took off my coat, scarf, shoes, and he right away picked them up and put them on the hook. Then I pulled him close, teased him a little bit, and swatted his bottom into the living room, at which point I decided to take a shower.
I showed him where the kitchen was and said, “I'm going to take a shower. Why don't you get a little dinner ready and I'll be out soon?” I swiped his butt into the kitchen and disappeared into the shower, and you know what? He did it. A good dinner, too. I took a really long shower, to see how patient he could be. When I came out, he seemed a little eager to be together, but I was not ready, so I went into my bedroom and got dressed, and then came out to eat my dinner. It was delicious, and I was quite happy with it.
When I first whispered into his ear, “Behave, or I'll have to discipline you,” he looked surprised, as if he couldn't believe what I was saying.
I have a running journal of sorts on my computer about my relationship. In this journal I have a “Men’s Bill of Rights” where I jot down and ask myself what is good for and detrimental to my man. I think a man's number one right is to firm, consistent and effective boundaries. Men have a hard time with self-control. It helps them feel secure to know the female in whose care they are can lovingly take on this responsibility, and it is essential that he feel protection from his own innate foolishness.
The first time I spanked him it was for something minor. After coaxing me several times, he kept trying to reach up for my breast. I wanted this bad little habit nipped in the bud. Frustrated and annoyed, I sighed and unzipped his trousers, pulled them down along with his boxers and walked quietly—and calmly—into my bedroom and brought out my paddle. It’s a plain wooden paddle, nothing fancy, but it is my prime disciplinary tool for boys. I stood in front of him, with his scared face looking up at me. He was still lying on the sofa when I said, “Bend over, with your knees on the floor and your arms over the sofa cushion.”
I saw him begin to shake, and some mild pleading followed. He did not really think I would do it.
“Either you get into the position or you will receive a much higher number of spanks,” I said. Slowly, reluctantly, he got to his knees, and I delivered thirty hard, firm spanks to his bottom.
Every woman's leadership style is different, and every boy is different. But in my
It’s important to let boys to know that we care about them, and that we care about their progress as men. Spare the rod and spoil the boy should be our motto in guiding our men to their better selves. I’m not usually one for assigning numbers during discipline. In my relationship, it’s until I think you have learned your lesson. We really need to guide men in their behavior, and males are physical beings. They need to know there is a direct, painful consequence for slipping in their responsibilities. Remember, it’s not just about punishment, it’s about guiding your man to be successful in his gender, and you are responsible for that.
By the time I was finished, my boy was bawling. Hot tears ran down his face. He had experienced physical discipline before, so he already understood why this was happening. After finishing, I asked him, “Now, do you know why you were punished?”
In this case he didn't, I went on to explain it to him: “There is no relationship if you don't listen to me. Do you understand?”
He nodded, wiping tears from his face. He was young, and still trying to hide tears. So I continued, taking him gently in my arms and looking down at him. His bottom really hurt—it was so red—and he was struggling to pull up his trousers and underclothes.
“I know, it hurts a lot, but if you had listened to me, you would not have gotten punished. Do you see now why you have to listen to me? I just can’t let you do something that's not good for us.”
He nodded again and began to calm down.
“Now go into the bedroom, take off your clothes, fold them, and wait for me. We're both going to have some time to calm down. And when I come into that room, I expect you to be lying on that bed. Are we going to have any more problems with not listening?”
He shook his head, and did as he was told.
In my next post I will discuss consequences for severe infractions.