Thursday, July 2, 2015


(Note from Mark Remond: “Lady Susan,” Nancy’s mother and dennis’ mother-in-law, who has previously commented on this blog, favors me with occasional observations on her family’s matriarchal lifestyle—and on FLRs in general. Recently, she has given me permission to use limited excerpts from these emails as blog posts. This is the first of what I hope will be a continuing series of contributions from Lady Susan.)

We are all in the female-led lifestyle and have been. Again, we’ve been at this for a long time and have evolved in our practice of the lifestyle. An overriding theme is that we women crave authority, and the men we’ve chosen to marry crave giving it to us. Our word is law and our decisions final!

Dennis has previously posted here about how, not long after he met Nancy, he was brought to her family home to be assessed by Joan (my mother), Julie (my sister), and by me. We were all looking for a man who would fit into the already established rhythm of our matriarchal family life, one where we women are in charge and the men take orders and care for the house.

For example, I don’t often speak of my late husband, but there are reasons for that. Though I loved him dearly, his opinion simply didn’t matter in the overall scheme of things. He knew to turn over his pay and get into the kitchen and be happy about it. And he was happy because he did as he was told. That's the secret to a successful marriage, an obedient husband!

The only time my husband ever appeared during Dennis’ initial visit was when I rang the hand bell for coffee, which my husband dutifully brought, wearing an apron, with all the courtesies I expected accorded me. I immediately watched for Dennis’ reaction to my husband’s dutiful performance and didn’t see a bit of trepidation on Dennis’ face. In fact, he seemed excited at what the future might hold for him.

Nancy had previously confided to me that her new boyfriend was thoroughly pussywhipped, and his reaction that day clearly confirmed it; that and what Nancy had told me about how their relationship was unfolding at school. Dennis is a number of years older than Nancy. They met in college, but she was an undergraduate and he already a graduate student with a well-paying career—very important that “well-paying” thing, as we women want love, but NEVER underestimate the importance of money to us! LOL!

Speaking quite candidly, any man who wishes to join our family will be judged on three things: money, sexual performance, and a willingness to comply with our wishes, which is, in our view, the manifestation of love on the part of a man. A man certainly needs to score high on two of these three criteria. After all, a woman can get sex—good sex—anywhere, but we expect more from our men. A guy who is fantastic in bed still had better be bringing nice gifts and provide great evenings out!

But back to Nancy and Dennis at college. They met at a feminist rally and soon became good friends, working with a women's group and taking elective classes in women's studies. Nancy suggested that Dennis also participate in marches and other public forums in support of women’s issues. He took her suggestions (quite properly) as orders and complied, another good sign. It’s no secret that we women love manipulating men, especially when it results in our getting control of some of man's ill-gained money. Nancy did this with great aplomb!

In her second year she convinced Dennis that she deserved more than the dormitories and belonged in an upscale downtown apartment. Thinking he was going to move in with Nancysilly boy!—he arranged a very nice apartment. But Nancy had no intention of his moving in with her. She arranged the lease to be in his name only with a sublet to her for $1 a year! This meant that Dennis paid for the year, yet still couldn't move her from the apartment. In fact, Dennis never moved in, though he did visit on Thursdays to clean the place—that was his responsibility. Dennis was, in effect, my daughter's sugar daddy, renting the apartment for her for three years. Now that's a man worth looking at—money and obedience, two very important criteria. (As for that third essential attribute a woman requires in a man, well, let's just skip over that one for now.)

Our matriarchal circle is a small but growing. Many of the couples who join seem to be like your wife and you, Mark. We’re seeing so many educated women who want as much on their terms as they can get—and they deserve it all! You’d be surprised how many men are turning over paychecks, doing housework, and not standing in the way when their wives want regular nights out with the girls—or, more and more frequently, with the “boys.”

Life in our family homes is fairly routine. It’s not some kind of femdom scene, just a well-organized situation with well-established rules to make sure everyone knows their responsibilities. Much of the real lifestyle work we do is outside the home. For example, Dennis has jobs outside of his regular career where he works for women-owned businesses. He also spends a lot of time working at the women’s center, a feminist group that is into a lot of activities, workshops, demonstrations and so on.

I’ll be happy to share more about all this in future posts.

—Lady Susan


Anonymous said...

Lady Susan, I admire the way you and other women in your family run your households. Once it becomes well organized with set rules, this arrangement seems natural and easy to get used to, as you say. As a subordinate male who admires strong and confident women I love your attitude of superiority toward your husband and how his views don’t matter “in the larger scheme of things.” I think when we can overcome the social messages of patriarchy, that it will become the norm that women are better decision-makers and that men are better at taking care of the home. In your experience how well have other couples adapted to this sort of arrangement? What are the obstacles to be overcome?


I'm-Hers said...

Lady Susan,
I very much enjoyed reading your words. You run a much stricter household than my Mistress yet I can appreciate your stance, your rules and what it is you desire as a woman. It also helps to hear background to get a better perspective on topics both your daughter and her husband have written about in the past. I look forward to hearing more as you have time to write. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Just an observation but this was an 865 word essay giving insights into what makes a great marriage.
It is interesting to me that the word "love" is used only 4 times.

1. she speaks of dearly loving her former (late) husband
2. she implies/jokes that money is more important than love
3. she states that "a willingness to comply" is the "manifestation of love on the part of a man".
4. she states that "we women love manipulating men"

Draw your own conclusions.
I'm in a female dominant marriage, but it is also one in which it is quite clear that my wife loves me very much.
It is very evident in both her words and actions.

All these postings from Dennis and these two women........ it's really hard to feel the love.

However, if they are happy........... who am I to judge?
I wonder what Dennis' funeral would look like?
The mood would probably be determined by the size of the LI policy.

I must be one of the most fortunate submissive husbands on earth.

Kathy said...

In my opinion this posting misses the point completely. Femdom is modern society is about love, caring, and raising a family. It is not about manipulating men. It is about allowing men the freedom to be the person they want to be. The need of men to serve women is primal, and is part of God's plan for man kind. It more women simply allowed their husbands the privilege of siting at their feet, the world would be a better place. Along with love comes intimacy. This is what real women want in their relationships. Kathy

Mark Remond said...

While I highly respect Obedient Husband and Mistress Kathy (of, and am honored to have them as commenters, and while their ideals of Loving Female Authority are very close to my own, let me just say that successful and loving FLRs do not follow a single set of rules, but come in a wide variety from vanilla-esque to ultra-kinky. Dennis has eloquently defended the loving nature of his own submission in an earlier posting ("Are These Not Signs of Love?") and I venture to say that neither he nor Lady Susan feels that their way is the only way that femdom can or should be practiced. It's obviously not for everyone, but I don't see it as a reason to condemn it out of hand. And, of course, other voices are welcome here, not only as commenters, but as guest posters.

carpadeim said...

Dear Lady Susan,

I'm very new at FLR and like my position. It feels right. Im only 2 months into it so far, and get aroused at the thought of making coffee for my wife every morning now. Knowing when I bring it into the bedroom, seeing her facial expressions knowing I'm serving her and serving her properly. I stand there until she takes her first sip waiting to see if everything meets her standards before I fix myself a cup. I recently purchased a cup for myself that states, "Husband in Training" I did this to show her.

I respect Your judgment; however, I feel that money, sexual performance, and a willingness to comply is not justifiable and think only submission is most important. Performance can change for a man especially if he's older, but he can always use whatever toys, or other means t please his wife. Money is just over rated and should never be a factor because if one gets too dependent on it could be a problem in hard times.

Sophie said...


The only way you will understand of why Women want boys to be submissive, sexual and rich is if you try to think from Their glorious Feminine perspective. Women are attracted to gorgeous sexual partners, be they men or Women. For you as a man, is it the same to have sex with a gorgeous Woman or one you don't find attractive. No. Well, neither is it for them. Does that explain?

I am a Woman. I am not attracted to boys but I do like them to be obedient and good looking, which to me means not too masculine (or at all, if possible).

I don't know why people would want their boys to provide them money, not that I don't understand the appeal money has but given a choice, boys should be dependent, not the ones who bring in the money. It's better for them to understand, in my opinion, that their place is more in the house -- especially in the kitchen and the bedroom. That is what they were put in this Earth for, but that doesn't mean they can't ever serve other purposes. Like any living creature, they are treasures put on this Earth for a higher purpose. In their case, the higher purpose are Women. They should be proud of that!

So yes, obedient, good looking, and they should also be good cooks. Again, the bedroom and the kitchen!

carpadeim said...


Thank You for Your kind reply. Well, it's very difficult for me to think from a glorious Feminine perspective being a man, but I do my best always to learn from them. As Lady Susan said, "sexual performance" is a must for her man. Not sexual attraction because I do agree that we must be attracted to our partner, but I also realize the male can have certain problems sometimes especially if over 50..*smiles*
Regarding money, You seem have the best attitude regarding that the man should be dependent..*Big smile* it makes sense really if you think about it giving the woman 100 percent control over him. I really like Your points and im learning how to cook now in the kitchen, the bedroom is worked out already!

Anonymous said...

I too, enjoyed Ms. Sophie's perspective. Thanks for sharing it.
Thanks also to Lady Susan for sharing her perspectives.

Anonymous said...

Awesome Lady Susan...Dennis was lucky to marry into a matriarchal family. As a natural sub who knows his place I envy him.

Wifeworshipper said...

Lady Susan, my Wife and i have been in this since we dated and now that our kids are almost on their own, we've talked about finding a community (realistic) or maybe even creating one (which seems overwhelming) where we're around likeminded people. i can attest that while it has taken Her a lot of patience, we are now in the true "oneness identity" that marriage is supposed to be and my identity is lost into hers. I do the chores, or most of them, since we try to keep the kids aware they have responsibilities. She controls the money. It took some years and some learning from her to handle it to get over that and now I don't even ask for anything except gas to work. Our relax time is Her agenda. Nothing is more fun that shopping with her. Listening is exactly what women want it to be in our relationship. I listen to her problems not to fix like some men but to really listen. Unless she asked for solutions. This has become my passion and I hope we can find a place where we can look to retire, and continue to grow.

Mark Remond said...

A very sweet and inspiring comment, Wifeworshipper. I hope Lady Susan sees it. She is no longer posting on the blog, as you may know, since I have stopped publishing new posts. But I welcome any additional comments; or perhaps you will start a blog of your own, as your are very eloquent about the joys of Wife Led Marriages.

Wifeworshipper said...

She hasn't approved that, even as i've suggested to Her we could both do a joint blog. She approves me seeking support. Hopefully She'll find it in Herself to do that, but it's not my call.