Tuesday, February 10, 2015


In earlier posts i have noted various holidays that are wonderful opportunities for men to buy gifts for the Women in their lives. Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Mother-in-Law’s Birthday and so on, all merit carefully selected, quality gifts. But in terms of what Women really want there are far more important days coming up that the modern man must celebrate. These special days provide us males an opportunity to reflect on Women’s issues and Feminism, to make efforts to accelerate the progress of Women, and to hasten the downfall of patriarchy. Our congregation and Women’s Center observe the following as times for reflection, commitment, and action:

Feminist Susan B. Anthony Birthday – February 15
March – Women’s History Month
International Women’s Day – March 9
Women’s Equality Day – August 26
Feminist Elizabeth Cady Stanton Birthday – November 12

There are a great many activities that take place around these events in which men can – and should! - participate:

§  Participate in rallies and marches aimed at highlighting the inequities in Women’s pay, career opportunities, and so on. Real men will be active participants and very visible at such events.
§  Listen to and learn from lectures and readings on Feminist topics
§  Attend a Women’s art exhibit
§  Do a reading at a Feminist event
§  Write a letter to the editor of a local paper supporting a Feminist issue or position
§  Learn a craft or domestic skill by taking a class or workshop; it’s a wonderful opportunity for men to cross gender lines – not to worry, Women welcome us on their side of the line but a word of warning – once you cross you may find it hard to go back!
§  Commit to read six Feminist books over the next year; discuss them with Women, including how each book has changed your perspectives. In my case Nancy and Her Mother routinely assign me “required reading” on a variety of topics ranging from Feminist literature to romance novels. I have to discuss the readings, articulate the Women’s positions in each of the readings, and cite how the reading changed my perspective.
§  In celebration of the aforementioned days send cards with a personal note and perhaps a small gift to Women-friends. Use cursive writing and Sue demands my using decidedly Feminine matching stationery. The latter shows my willingness to adopt something from Women’s side of the gender line and it conveys my belief that Women, their views, and tastes are mainstream.
§  Support and work for Female Candidates for public office; we need more
Female perspective in public life. Get involved in a campaign! Helping Women get elected has been a personal commitment. It’s rewarding to see more and more Women in public office.
§  Listen to a Women’s discussion group or lecture on Feminist issues, wage inequity, for example. As Nancy says, men should “Shut up and listen” - we men can learn a lot by listening to Women. Take what you heard into discussions with male friends and advocate the Women’s point of view.
§  Take a Women’s Studies class for some formal immersion in Feminism – men will learn a lot!
§  Perform service at a Women’s Center; the progressive gentlemen in our social circle do this weekly; sign up to volunteer to do whatever is needed and make a real contribution.
§  Donate time and money – Men make more than Women and should be happy to give their patriarchy-derived surplus to Women and to Women’s causes. Nancy has determined that men earn at least 25% more than Women so, to level the playing field, She demands that 25% of my earnings be given over to Women (She and Sue are a great place to start!) and Women’s issues.

Our Women’s Center collects and distributes money throughout the year for the benefit of Women and Women’s activities. Men are expected to generously donate and are charged fees for participating in the Centers activities or just to volunteer. Monies are anonymously distributed to Women for a variety of purposes. Men often commit to giving over the course of a year; for example, two men are paying for a Woman’s cell phone and data plan for a year. Two other men have committed to donate $2,400 – a mere $100 per month each – to a Women’s studies program at a local college. Where’s their $100 a month coming from – well, they’ve given up trips to the local bar and will instead work at the Center one evening a week.

Housekeeping – men at the Center volunteer to regularly do housework, repair work, etc., for Women who want their help. The men’s work is done under the strict supervision of the Center’s staff. Men taking the Housekeeping 101 do a practicum of housework for Women that spans many weeks. Even after they have completed Housekeeping 101, men continue to do the practicums as a personal commitment to think globally but act locally.

Get involved with Women’s issues and initiatives at work. Mentor and support Women. Support Women for promotions even though doing so may limit your opportunities. After all, you’re likely not as well qualified as Women now in the workforce; they are coming into the workplace in greater numbers and bringing impeccable credentials. They’re going to run things sooner than later so get used to it and get on board!

In many companies vacation time is determined by seniority; unfortunately, men have most seniority and so more vacation. To right this inequity, a few of us have given back vacation days to be placed in a “vacation bank” from which extra days will be awarded to Female staff.

§  Accept and support Women in leadership positions at work; defer to them; accept your subordinate position.
§  Encourage Women to adopt a leadership posture by deferring to them – at work – at home – wherever!
§  Recognize that Women-only activities at work – seminars, classes, trips, mentoring, etc – aren’t discriminatio’! Rather, these are necessary to allow Women to participate on a level playing field.
§  Make treating Women – ALL WOMEN! – with courtesy and respect a habit - “Yes, Ma’am!”
§  Recognize the innate superiority of Women and the inequities and exploitation that patriarchy promotes.

Why is all this important? Well, despite their moral, intellectual, and emotional superiority, Women are underrepresented in leadership positions and still undercompensated. Gender equality will make society better!



Rahul said...

Also i would like to add that we should watch only Female lead or Female centric films.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mark and dennis

I was wondering in much the same way as you list sites that you consider might be of interest, could you set up a sort of library section with links to recommended books putting across feminist issues and the like.

I would find this invaluable.

Thank you for a great article.

M. Toads.

Mark Remond said...

dennis resonds to M. Toads above:

What Nancy and i recommend is, we think, sufficiently broad to accommodate your needs. As for recommended Feminist readings and books, a simple search-engine query will yield a great many excellent suggestions.


Anonymous said...

The speed at which Womyn are taking over leadership positions is inspiring, but 'gender equality' is not enough, organizations need to take an ever tougher affermative stance with a policy not only promoting Womyn, but of demoting males, after all, the best man for the job is a Womyn! Discrimination against males in the work place and else where IS POSITIVE. The future is Female, let us accept it!

Anonymous said...

The town centre is 15 mins walk away from the office and males on average can walk it faster with their longer strides.

Women are comfortable in the office asking for the males to get their food and other things for them. Its all very politely done and its practical and prudent.

A male employee may have more than one order to take so much of his lunch time might be taken with going from shop to shop. We try to hurry if there is hot food involved. The food for the Women would be cold if many of them especially the older Ladies had to walk back.

The men are kept fit and they are happy to be of service. Well most of us but the ones that don't show willing are duly noted as not being team players.


Edward said...

I have been passed up three times in the past for a promotion in favor of a Womyn, and fully agree that the proper decision was made by keeping me in the lesser job position. I could have filed a grievance for the last one, but I chose not to. The fact is Womyn have been discriminated through lesser pay, and being denied promotion based on gender for decades. It's only fair that it should happen to me now. I have accepted that Females are superior to me, and more men realizing this can only be a positive change.

Joseph said...

So often this blog heralds the accomplishments of women CEO's, and other high profile employment for women. I am fully, and entirely in favor of this. However I think more women need to be employed as police officers, and other positions representing authority, even though they are maybe not as visible.

I was once pulled over by a female officer for trying to speed through a yellow light before it turned red. She made it very clear she was in control as soon as she approached my wife's car. No amount of "yes Ma'am, or apology was able to sway her to drop the ticket, and let me off with a warning. I went home after this to my wife with my tail between my legs, carrying a traffic ticket.

My wife didn't go nuts about it, but SHE confiscated my license for four months which meant I had to walk to the grocery store, and then carry the groceries home. Many other things had to be adjusted due to my momentary inattention. This was not only an inconvenience to me but also my wife. Of course the ticket was paid out of my allowance, as it was my responsibility to pay it, as it was given to me.

After my wife returned my driving 'privileges' I became much more attentive when using her vehicle, and still am. This all happened because of a woman police officer who performed her duty of strictly upholding the letter of the law, as she should. Thanks to the authority, and unyielding power of two women the roads you travel on, are now safer!

CEO's are great, but a female police officer will have the larger impact on my life wielding her authority, and power than an executive I may never meet.

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to edward:

First, it's Women and Women will tell you that.

Not sure that you were discriminated against at all; Women are entering the workplace with very good credentials and earning things on their own. There were - and still are - affirmative action programs arguing that with all things equal, there should be a preference for the Female candidate. Not so any more - Women are bringing a lot, and Women always did, but patriarchy kept them down.


Anonymous said...

I completely agree with the comments about supporting Womyn candidates for public office. We shouls support all Womyn short lists for elections. Better still, should males give there spouse, or responsible female decision maker the power to vote by proxy on their behalf?
In their heart of hearts many female supremacists, both Womyn and male, long for the day when males lose the franchise. The day is coming when this view will be able to be expressed openly. It will herald a glorious Female future.

Mark Remond said...

For Anonymous just above:

True, we definitely need more Female voices in elected office and in government in general. Women have long been underrepresented. The solution isn't to disenfranchise men, not at all. Rather men need to realize the validity of Women's positions and join in advocating those positions. And more and more men are doing this every day - not only realizing that Women have some great ideas but stepping up and working for their campaigns. i for one believe that eventually, Women will be in leadership positions in the same proportions that represent men today and Women will get there because they deserve to.


Edward said...

Edward responds to Dennis above.

Thank you for correcting two mistakes for me, yes the term is women. Secondly in regards to being passed up for promotion, I was entitled to the position based on seniority within the company. However the woman who got the position had many credentials that I have not attained. So based on her resume' she got placed ahead of me. I have no qualms about this, and have enjoyed answering to her since she has taken over that position.

Mark Remond said...

Lady Susan responds to Edward:

In many businesses seniority doesn't count for much, how long you've been at the company doesn't equate to expertise. What matters are credentials and relevant experience. More and more this is what women are bringing to the workplace. It's good to hear that you enjoy answering to her since you and other men are likely to be doing that in the future.

--Lady Susan