Saturday, March 29, 2014


As noted in several recent posts, we have a set of rules within Nancy’s family that governs how men are to behave. The list originated with Nancy’s Grandmother, Mother and Aunts, who were all heads of household and wanted to make it clear to their men what was acceptable behavior. The basis is that women deserve respect and courtesy. The resultant list of rules, known as “The Protocols,” has grown considerably both as a result of the Women seeing the need for new rules and the men themselves making suggestions. Many outside of Female led relationships don’t understand, but men love the structure that rules provide in a relationship. Things are spelled out and as long as men toe the line, there are no issues. The Protocols are rather broad and include, but are not limited to, the following:

The Primary Protocols

·         The Protocols are the written embodiment of Female authority and are to be followed to the letter! There is no excuse for noncompliance.
·         Only Women can establish, alter, or negate The Protocols.
·         Women make the rules; men follow them.
·         men are permitted to suggest additional rules they feel would better improve their performance; women can accept, reject, or modify these as they see fit. If seen fit, the new rule becomes part of The Protocols and is extended family-wide as a means of ensuring consistent male behavior.
·         Through the journals they are required to keep, men can suggest new Protocols or enhancements to existing ones, but men are not allowed to petition for the removal or easing of any Protocol; doing so is a cause for discipline.
·         men questioning the validity of a Protocol are subject to discipline.
·         men will maintain a listing in a dedicated book of all Protocols for their reference; entries will be in ink using cursive writing.
·         The Book of Protocols will be kept in a place of honor where it is readily available; Women, of course, can consult the Book of Protocols.

·         When a new Protocol is established, men will be informed and receive appropriate instruction; they are required to enter this new Protocol into their dedicated book as well as into their daily journal. Doing this indicates they recognize their obligations under the new Protocol.
·         New Protocols will be communicated to the Women of the Family for incorporation into their Protocol Book.
·         men are expected to know The Protocols and can be questioned on them at any time.
·         men are required to understand that The Protocols are for their benefit and are to be committed to following them.
·         men are required to support other men in upholding The Protocols and correct them when necessary. A Protocol failure on the part of one man is the fault of all present and appropriate punishment or loss of privileges may follow for all
·         Women have the right and obligation to correct, reprimand, and/or administer discipline to any man violating The Protocols even if that violation is unintentional.
·         If men observe another man violating The Protocols, being disrespectful to Women, holding any of the Protocols in contempt, or behaving in any way that would be contrary to the wishes of the Women, he is obligated to bring this to the attention of the Women, whether or not the Women are family members
·         men are forbidden to discuss the personal lives, behaviors, etc., of any Woman.
·         men are obligated to discuss the personal lives, behaviors, etc., of any man to his Wife; She will determine the appropriate dissemination of information provided by Her husband
·         men are required to support other men in upholding The Protocols and to correct them when necessary. A Protocol failure on the part of one man is the fault of all present and appropriate punishment or loss of privileges will follow for all.
Everyday Protocols

·         men are to speak only when spoken to or when asked for a comment.
·         men must address women with appropriate courtesy—“Yes, Ma am!” or in whatever way a woman prefers, “Yes, Aunt Jane,” “No, Mrs. Smith,” “Madame!”
·         men must respond immediately when summoned by a Woman and present themselves for service with a “Yes, Ma am” and a stoop and bow.
·         men must wear an apron when doing housework and at any time they are serving women.
·         men must learn how each Woman wants Her tea, coffee, or whatever Her preferred drink and always be prepared to serve it to Her whether She is in residence or visiting.
·         men must serve tea, coffee, and drinks using the established formal method; casual service is not appropriate and will not be tolerated.
·         men must learn the proper way of lighting a cigarette for a Woman.
·         men must maintain, at their own expense, an ample supply of the preferred cigarettes for the Women in the household and for Female family visitors and friends.
·         men are permitted to smoke only when given express permission by a Woman; men cannot ask permission to smoke no matter the circumstances; it is a privilege that must be unilaterally extended by a Woman.
·         men are permitted to drink only when given express permission by a Woman; men cannot ask permission to drink no matter the circumstances; it is a privilege that must be unilaterally extended by a Woman.
·         Since men have a primary duty of service, their drinking is restricted to personal time when specifically permitted.
·         men are expected to send, at their own expense, personalized birthday and holiday cards to Women within the family.
·         men are not permitted to answer the phone, as this detracts from their domestic duties; if a Woman answers the phone and determines that a man can take a call, she will direct him to a phone and has the option of staying on the line to monitor that call. In no circumstance should a man be on the phone for more than five minutes, no matter the reason.
·         Housework is the responsibility of the man and he will perform it to the satisfaction of the Women on the schedule they establish.
·         Women manage the finances and control the money.
·         men should keep a diary of their activities, suggestions, Protocol changes, and of key dates, anniversaries, names of boyfriends, cigarette, drink, perfume, preferences, etc.; diaries are not private and can be read by the Women at any time.

Again, this is not a complete list but representative of The Protocols in place in Nancy’s family; these may be used as a model for a similar effort by others.



Anonymous said...

very helpful, thank you. may I please ask two questions. the first is at what age in the family do women learn of the protocols and their superior position. Second, what type of punishments are given out - loss of TV or computer access?

Gale said...

Anonymous, you asked "at what age in the family do women learn of the protocols and their superior position." This is a lifestyle of the entire family, not just adults. The daughters, as well as sons will experience female superiority and see the protocols for the males in the family from the time they can comprehend differences after they are born.

As for "what type of punishments are given out" we have learned the loss of TV or computer access, while proper, will only lead to resentment. The proper punishment for males of all ages must be physical pain, spanking with paddle or cain, and must be given on his bare rear and thighs. Daughters must be encouraged in administering punishment as a child, or she will be reluctant to as an adult.

Obedient husband said...

Aside from the cigarette smoking, this is all really quite dreamy.
I can't help but wonder, do the males in this family work outside the home? It would seem as though they do not. If not, are each of these women successful enough to support herself, her male, and any family?
Perhaps they are all part of a family business that satisfies the income requirements.

For most of us, both partners need to be earning an income.
It's a great post, thanks so much!

Anonymous said...

Delirium is so widespread here one wonders if Dr. Who is behind all of this....

I'm-Hers said...

Dennis, I struggle with your posts, especially in light of the fact that Mark's post have been filled with the understanding that male submission was for the express purpose of a better way to love the woman in one's life. The protocols, the discipline, the expectations, the rules that you have expounded upon in this and previous posts fascinate me but what I have failed to see with your and with Nancy's posts in the past is 'love' being a part of the equation. I'm sure you can respond and tell me that you love one another and I do believe you must for your relationship to continue but I sure wish for those of us that read that you'd incorporate that amongst the rules, bows, courtsies, and second place status that males within your household reside.

I don't mean to criticize but I needed to express. Thanks

Mark Remond said...

dennis replies to Obedient Husband above:

We are a small family group so we're not talking large numbers here. But, yes, all of the men work outside the home; half of them earning more than their Wives.


tony said...

I'm-Hers makes a valid point about the seeming lacking of love. But after thinking about it, I've comcluded that love is implied. This is a very sophisticated and mature family. Relationship(s)have developed and matured over several generations. Love is implied because none of these conditions could not succeed if love was not part of the picture. But Dennis is describing the family protocols, not the love aspect.

Anonymous said...

The book of Protocols seems somewhat like the 'roommate agreement' in the Big Bang Theory...

Mark Remond said...

Very droll!

Alex said...

to "I'm Hers":

I think Dennis and Mark balance each other out. I don't think it's all about the hugs and kisses, it's also about the discipline and more "hard" parts but you are right, it is too about the "soft" parts. It's very important to balance it out.

I feel like there are infrequent posts in this blog and the fact that Dennis and Mark both volunteer to write is very important because hey, we need more bloggers. I was even thinking of starting my own blog but with all the privacy issues about the internet I've been a bit discouraged about it. So let's thank them for doing it.

I think you guys should also consider blogging if you are not already. If you go through with it or not... is a different story. But think about it. Imagine how much power we can give society's Women by blogging about Female Power in society. I am for the Matriarchy and Gynarchy to a certain extent... at least there should be some of that to counter balance patriarchy and androarchy (or whatever "government by men" is called)

Anonymous said...

I wanted to know how many apron wearing men have you served with on one occasion. -Bill

Anonymous said...

Our "protocols" are simpler:
1. Wife determines what misdemeanor requires "appropriate" punishment.
2. Excuses or apologies are not allowed.
3. Choice and timing of punishment are entirely at wife's discretion.
4. Specifics of punishment (such as choice of "tools" to be used, attire or position to be assumed by husband) are exclusively decided by wife.
5. Severity of punishment (e.g. number of whacks or lashes) may or may not be announced.
6. Appropriate thanks must be offered after punishment, as dictated by wife.
7. Post-punishment "corner time" may be assigned at will.
8. Punishment may be witnessed by female friends or relatives (e.g. sister) at wife's discretion.
9. Punishment may be repeated as often as wife deems it appropriate.
10. Regardless of husband's behavior, a "maintenance" spanking will be applied at least once a week.
11. Domestic chores must be performed as directed -and unsatisfactory work will result in immediate chastising.
12. Husband is responsible for any mishaps in the household, and for procuring any correctional instruments she may require.

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Bill's question:

It depends largely on how many Women are in attendance; usually Women will bring their husband along, so perhaps five at any one time.


I'm-Hers said...

Thanks for your thoughts Alex. And btw, I do have a blog and have had one for several years. Privacy can be as much or as little as you'd like to make it so I wouldn't worry about that if you sincerely have a desire to write and share your story with others that have an interest.

Mark Remond said...

This is a note to Gale, the 2nd from the top commenter above --

Gale, would you be at all interested in doing 1 or a series of guest blogs on your female-led family, any and all aspects thereof?

As you may know, this blog has hosted several Matriarchal Mothers and Heads of Household -- Beckie Sue, Amanda and Jenn -- and would love to continue to explore this valuable aspect of Female Empowerment.

If interested, please email me at

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your response. One more question, how many men or families follow the protocols? Is the number growing over the last several years? -Bill

tommy said...

Interesting comments to this posts. I must unfortunately suspect that all the respondents focusing on the details of methods of punishments are here for the fantasy aspects of FLR, and not so much for a real and valued educational experience. I suspect this because those in a loving and true FLR strive to please and avoid punishment at all costs. Although our 'protocols' are no way near as engrained in deep and broad familial history, as those expressed here, it has been an enormous benefit in helping me be a better husband, coworker and overall enlightened male, and Even avert punishment in all 3 realms by bringing ideas and suggestions to the table for this rapidly evolving (hopefully globally) lifestyle. Thank you. Interestingly, while waiting for my daughters dance class to end, i was glancing through a coffee table book at the arts center on Hopi Indians, I learned they are (and have always been), a Matriarchal society! Something worth reading about.

Anonymous said...

Tommy punishment is important in real life FLR as it is a symbol of a Wife's absolute authority over Her husband. A sore behind is a reminder of Wife's power and the male's obligation to constantly try and please his Female owner. Having just been given a hard paddling yesterday I can tell you that right now I have tender thoughts about Wife/Mistress, very tender! (lawslave)