Thursday, March 6, 2014


This is the second part of my recollections of Joan [Nancy’s Grandmother] and Her teaching me the Protocols. Affording personal service to the Women is one of the real privileges of a Female-led relationship. Joan infused the entire process of serving with rule and ritual, some of which are very private matters.

Learning to Serve

i arose early to prepare coffee and await Joan who promised a full day’s training—in what I wasn't exactly sure, but I had been assured that it would “make me a better man.” Absent Her training, all that i did that morning was wrong, but that would all soon be corrected. Joan would see to that! When She appeared, immaculate in casual attire, I knelt before Her and kissed Her extended hand as prescribed by the Protocols.

Joan got right to work; the Grandmotherly Woman of the night before gave way to a strict, in-my-face Disciplinarian who inspired fear. i'd wanted a Woman-in-charge situation, but now, for a fleeting moment , I was afraid, unsure. That feeling quickly passed, however, as i was swept up in Joan's Goddess-like aura, letting Her start to mold me into the submissive man i wanted so much to become. i needed to do what She wanted, when She wanted it, and how She wanted it done. She would give the orders; i would follow them. Fail to do so and there would be “consequences,” painful ones, i was to learn. My accelerated trip into the submissive lifestyle would begin with my learning to serve.

In Nancy's family, personal service has rules and rituals, mostly due to Joan's insistence. A student of social history, Joan patterned our rules for personal service after the servants of the Golden Age of opulence, the Edwardian period. In the Edwardian home one would find maids, butlers, and ladies in waiting all at the beck and call of their privileged employers. In our home, the men assume all these roles with all the proper protocol they entail as they serve the Women.


Before one could even start, there was the need for proper attire. That morning i appeared in a brand-new pair of casual slacks and a new golf shirt. Only shorts were acceptable, i was informed. She ordered me out of the slacks and cut the legs off them, using a pair of pinking sheers; now I had what can best be described as a pair of Daisy Dukes, but they complied with the Protocol. She also cut the sleeves off the golf shirt. “Shave those underarms before tomorrow,” Joan ordered. “You men are disgusting! Now let's get into something pretty,” she said, taking me into the kitchen where i learned another of the Protocols.

Any time a man is doing housework or serving the Women, the Protocols dictate that he wear an apron—NO EXCEPTIONS! Joan made it clear that an apron would be chosen for me; it would be a long time before I was privileged to select my own. On the hook in the kitchen was the one i was to wear; if two are hanging, one is worn while the other is backup—a soiled apron is not permitted. Prim and proper is the rule. A decidedly Feminine black satin apron with white trim—embroidered with my name—was Joan's gift to me; I still have and revere it. It was a bit intimidating but i did as i was told, squaring its fit and tying it in back. “An apron is practical,” Joan said, “but it’s also very symbolic.” Yes, it is, there's no doubt as to who’s giving orders when the men are wearing aprons. “You won't see a Woman in an apron around here,” Joan said, “and you won't see a man without one!”

Next footwear. Proper attire according to the Protocols demands I wear a pair of ballet-style slippers in an appropriate color. These slippers are really quite practical. They are commonly available in the Women's hosiery/accessories department of any department store. They have a satin upper, a suede sole, a bit of decoration (bows or rhinestones) and are very comfortable; the Women love them, and so do progressive gentlemen. They fit snugly and provide excellent traction on the highly polished wood and ceramic floors that i soon would be racing across as i served the Women.


Stoop-and-bow, as Joan called it, is an important show of respect that had to become second nature. The stoop-and-bow was a variation on the traditional curtsey that i had learned first. Joan had me put my left leg forward, my right leg back, bow my head, and then dip while holding both sides of my apron up and out. After about a second i rose and released my apron. Having to perform this time-honored ritual of respect was a major motivation for wearing an apron. My first tries were devoid of the graciousness She expected, so i did it over and over and over again. She added a bit of motivation with a small leather slapper that She used on my bare legs—OUCH! Joan said Her slapper helped learning; and i wasn't going to disagree! i spent two hours walking away  from Joan to the end of the living room and back, where I curtseyed to Her. The stoop-and-bow differed from the curtsey only in that i balanced a tray with my left hand so i could only use my right hand to raise my apron. The stoop-and-bow and serving from the tray were essential to personal service and had to be mastered; with Joan's tutelage and some help from Her slapper, they were. So ingrained has this ritual become that it’s second nature, and I often find myself doing it at work when I serve my boss, Carol, Her morning coffee—sans the ballet slippers and apron, of course!

Rising Up—My Tribute to Joan

Joan insisted that men serving Her do so while standing on the balls of the foot and extending upward, mimicking the position of a foot in a high-heeled shoe, but without the support a high heel would offer. It was difficult and painful learning experience, all the more so since She used Her slapper to enforce Her demand that i learn this movement. i had to wonder why, if She wanted me in this position, She just didn't have me wear high heels; i would have done so had She demanded it, of course. i asked Her this only to provoke Her anger—and receive four sharp slaps with Her leather
instrument of terror across the back of my bare legs. Lesson learned! It was a difficult movement, and surely that's why She liked it: requiring the males of the family not only to do this, but to master the movement, confirmed Her power over us.

One need not rise up constantly in moving about the house, but when serving the Women commenced, it was definitely time to rise up. i practiced this over and over that first day under her tutelage, and finally—perhaps ten days later—mastered what i regard as a very difficult and painful movement. Most of the Women never insisted on my rising up, but Joan did—always! And because She did, and because i still worship this departed Goddess, i perform this maneuver to this day just as though Joan is watching, slapper in hand for motivation. Sometimes when i think of Joan, i'll serve Nancy and Sue and rise up about five feet from them and keep doing so until leaving their presence; although it's not required, they understand, i think, that my doing so is a tribute to Joan.
Joan had me walk around in my uniform to practice what i'd learned and to get used to the slippers and the soft rustle of the satin apron. It was all so mesmerizing! If i ever had a “man-card,” i surrendered it to Joan in that instant. The road i was going down led to a submissive lifestyle, and it was a one-way street.

And for me, there would be no turning back!



Anonymous said...

Now if only I could find strong woman to take me under her wing and discipline me. I'm a good catch :)

Anonymous said...

I actually said Wow out loud after reading this. And all the men in this family received this training?
Wow again! Bill

Mark Remond said...

To Bill just above, dennis responds:

All the men in this family receive this training - we're a small group but are all very happy with our situation. We know of and socialize with other couples in FLRs. All have rules and rituals that suit the couple's purposes. It works for everyone involved. While there's a bit of ritual involved, it's really very practical training. Once trained, men know what to do and Women spend need only spend very little time managing.


Anonymous said...

Hi dennis, This is a beautiful story because it shows how submission to Women can be a form of worship—a sacred act—and a privilege. And it brings up the thought of how much better the world would be if all men could be trained like this and Women could receive such service as a matter of course without question.

I thought it was touching how you continue to rise up on the balls of your feet as a sign of worship to Joan. It shows the deep nature of the bond she established with you in granting you all the time in training you. Though I know some men will object, I thought the feminine touches in your uniform was very appropriate. After all, the idea is to give up all signs of male privilege.

Finally, the image of a man doing a curtsey as a matter of everyday service is just too cute. The turnabout is delicious and totally appropriate for a man who embraces his inferiority in relation to Women. I imagine that many Women greatly enjoy that act, and for that reason alone it’s worth it.

One question: what uniform do you wear all the time? Is the short shorts and everything else you describe?

Thanks again for sharing this inspiring story.


ALL HERS said...

You will now lead a wonderful lifestyle with that training. How lucky are the men in that family to receive this training and to have the privilege of serving the women. I hope she continues this training to show you how to perform everything for a woman.

Anonymous said...

Were or are there any clashes you know of where the rituals of a say Wife might clash with a Mother of one of your group.

Are these rituals thrashed out between them? The male might become momentarily confused when performing a protocol.


Anonymous said...

I really liked that she cut up your clothes according to her tastes and her protocols. It must have been quite a vivid demonstration.


Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to LS:

Submission to a Woman no matter how overt or subtle is a form of worship and one we progressive gentlemen should all be practicing. The experiences i had with Joan made me a better man, one who was prepared to properly serve the Women of the family. For me it was very fulfilling; i was pleased to 'give up my man card' and follow Joan.

The training and everything that goes with it was intended to put my role in relation to the Women in proper perspective. And that's what the apron does, it removes all doubt as to who is in charge. Every time i put on an apron it comes home to me that my job is to serve. As i've written in past posts i have a managerial job with lots of authority but am happy to leave that at the door, put on the apron chosen for me, and do as i'm told - very satisfying!

As far as the uniform is concerned it's basically just an apron over whatever i might normally wear plus the slippers. It has the impact of reinforcing my role. Joan insisted on cutoffs and some of that had to do with Her showing who was the Boss by trimming my brand new pants to her near Daisy Duke length; She also cut off two other pairs of my pants with the same end in mind. She did it because She could, knowing that i knew i couldn't do - in Her words - "a damn thing about it".

A slight stoop isn't to be cute, it is to show reverence and respect; it's not every time but a number of times a day to show reverence and respect. One thing that Joan didn't want was too much ritual since She didn't want it to get in the way of my doing my work but She also wanted me to "know my place".

Finally, men don't necessarily need this training to make the world a better place; they can accomplish that by simply listening to Women and acting on what they - men - hear!


Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to ALL HERS:

i'm well versed in serving and the other tasks that make up my routine. i do get training from time to time due to new rules and simply a a refresher but my time with Joan is now relegated to a fond memory from my distant past...


Anonymous said...

Anyone else notice that today March 08, 2014 is International Women's Day?

Alex said...

Can't wait for part II

Danni W said...

Interesting. I am on my journey serving the woman I adore as her sissy maid/wife. And there is not turning back!

Anonymous said...

I love the formality and ritual. The enforcing of serving attire must really put you in the right frame of mind.

How amusing it must be for the Women to see, especially a newly trained, male, stoop and bow as if he's a well trained puppy doing a trick. Him performing and the Ladies accepting this ritual shows that everyone supports the Female/male power dynamic.

I also think it can be a great bonding practice. It provides structure and order to the household and it takes a strong leader to enforce it as meticulously as Joan did.

I imagine the men would learn to take great pride in serving the Ladies and try to outdo each other as the best servant, reinforcing the Female dominant culture. No more training required :)

Anonymous said...

On several occasions I have had to serve a room of Dominant Women and not only did I have bare legs under my apron, I had a bare behind. This made for a better target than bare legs. (lawslave)

Anonymous said...

I will dismiss anything not overtly Female dominated as vanilla no matter how covertly Female dominant it is.

In my opinion Femdom is not Femdom until acknowledged as Femdom. Vanilla is just another ice cream flavor

eust said...

If I recall correctly, one of your earlier posts (which I really liked) explained the shift of power from male attire to female attire; skirts and high heels and female clothing in general being associated with power nowadays. The point was that female attire is unavailable to men, and that is the symbol of who's got the power. Why then did you adopt some of the elements of female clothing; 'ballet-style slippers in an appropriate color', 'Daisy Dukes' and imitated the position of the foot like if wearing high heels?

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to eust:

Female clothing is associated with power these days because the Women wearing it have the power! It in no way implies that men should take on Female attire. Historically Women's attire was dismissed as were other elements of Female values and lifestyle, all do to patriarchy. Not so today.

The ballet style slippers of which i spoke were worn simply because they were comfortable and functional; indeed there was an attempt to market them to men in appropriate colors and no decoration but the effort failed.

As for the Daisy Dukes, She just cut them off way too short -

Finally, the rise up position didn't involve wearing heels and might have been easier if i had. Rising up was a physical thing intended to add some difficulty into the routine.