THE GYNARCHIC WISDOM OF MS. REBECCADOM, Part Two

(Note from Mark Remond: This is reprinted by permission of Thomas Lavalle from his discontinued blog, The Wonderful World of Female Supremacy.)

Back in the 1990s I came across a highly trafficked femdom Yahoo! Group (or Club) called “Trained Husbands and Happy Wives.” The creator and presiding domme called herself “Rebeccadom” or “Madam Rebecca.” Her postings were both uncompromising in their assertion of female supremacy and solicitous toward the inferior male sex. Fortunately, I saved some of these pearls of gynarchic wisdom; and, having just come across them, decided to reprint them here. This is the concluding installment (click here for the first one ). Should Madame Rebecca learn of my little presumption and contact me (I hope!), either to take them down or to permit me to leave them in place, I will of course submit.—Thomas Lavalle.)

THE IMPORTANCE OF CUCKOLDING

Cuckolding is an important part of husband training. When I introduced my husband to a lover on the street one day and my lover kissed me in front of him, it had a profound effect. As soon as my husband got home, he ran and sat in the corner without being told.

Sex with my husband present, and watching, is always better than without, and he now knows that as well. Part of why it is so good is that I know he is there. That I have the power to do this and he will humbly obey and stand by the side.

What this all does is make for very exciting sex. I get variety, newness, long-lasting, good, hard sex. If a lover tires out, I can trade him in for a new one without the messiness of a divorce. I can have several lovers at one time. There is no danger to my marriage.

Now I will have my husband tell his side for a second view:

“The first time Rebecca introduced me to her lover, it was in front of a large shopping mall, and he kissed her as I watched, and it was a big kiss. I nearly fainted. I had cramps in my stomach. I could see she was happy and proud. I thought I would die.

“I walked behind my wife and her lover as they walked arm and arm into the mall and shopped together. I was very quiet on the way home, and Madam was very happy and pleasant. When I got home I just went to my room and sat in the corner.

“Madam came in and asked if I was okay. She wanted to know how I felt. I told her I felt defeated. She told me that was good. I asked why. She then told me to come to her chair and sit on the floor and listen. I did.

“She said, ‘For too long now you have been thinking you are a man. Well, you’re not, you’re a sissy. MY sissy.’ “I started to cry and asked, ‘But what if you get rid of me?’

“She took me to her breast and patted my head. She told me that she loved me very much and as long as I was her maid, obeyed her and did a good job, there was no worry.”

*

Rebecca’s Husband: “I am my wife’s servant, and I love her very, very much. That means it is my job and I want to please her by obeying her wishes and complying with whatever pleases her. She chooses to date and bed other men and to enjoy them sexually. It makes her happy and makes her feel more alive. Therefore, I fully support her efforts and do all that I can to encourage her and enjoy her affairs with other men. Her place is head of the house and undisputed leader and decision-maker. My place is maidservant and obedient husband. My place is to obey and please, hers is to enjoy and take advantage of. She loves to see me scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees as she leaves the house to show I am completely subservient and complying with her desire for me to be defeated in all male characteristics, so I comply.”

PUBLIC HUMILIATION

Degradation and humiliation are part of a husband’s training, and there is none too bad for him to endure. As he goes through them, he reaches a new understanding of his place at his wife’s feet and realizes a new inner self. I do not consider either of these as a punishment but rather as education and improvement for the male. Both degradation and humiliation need to be done publicly to be most effective. For both of these work best when it is not a secret, but admitted to the world that he is HER property. Until all vestiges of male ego, male superiority, male dominance are eliminated, the Femdom marriage does not truly exist. The danger is that if not removed, the male thinks of all t his as a game and plays it for his sexual excitement. He must learn and fully understand that, in a Femdom marriage, he is the object and SHE is the superior being to be obeyed, served and catered to.

Dear Rebecca: How do I keep my husband in line when we have out-of-town vanilla company staying with us? I have discovered over a period of about four years that we will get on track in our lifestyle but then we have an outside disruption (i.e., career-related or vanilla company coming for a visit), and when the disruption is over, it’s as if, I’m starting from square one all again. Do you have any suggestions or discipline I can discreetly implement to keep my husband on track and remembering who’s boss during these times?

Rebeccadom: Yes, I have several. The first is public training and humiliation. It is very important to publicly humiliate your husband. This can be done in many ways, and can be done in areas where you and he are not known, if that is a problem. One way is a remote shock collar used for dog training. It can be hidden under clothes and operated remotely, some models up to long ranges. The severity can be controlled as well. Another choice is complete ignoring of him along with a self-punishment regime. By this I mean you don’t talk to him, touch him, look at him, even acknowledge he is alive until he undergoes a list of punishments you give him. Males need severe punishment at times to help them do what they know is correct and proper, and it is up to us, the superior females, to be responsible enough to do it.

*

How do subs/slaves who sport piercings and similar symbols of their relationship with their Dommes handle doctor visits and locker rooms? I don’t know about others, but my sub-husband handles them as if nothing were different. When and if he is asked about this, he replies, “My wife wants me this way.” Males usually do not ask further questions, but sometimes make an unkind remark. Women (nurses) will sometimes ask further questions, at which time he must tell them that he is in a Femdom marriage and that his wife wants him to be constantly reminded that he is. He is not commonly in a men’s lockerroom, but I do require that he get a checkup twice a year, so he is exposed to a doctor (he is required to see a female doctor) and nurses.

The point is that Femdom marriages are often kept hidden, and if they are to be more common and the norm someday, we need to let others know they exist and that they work and get others interested in them. Advertising this is important to me and should be to all who believe in Female Supremacy as the basis for a happy marriage. You will be amazed how much interest you can drum up and how much fun it is.

*

Women want and need control. For a woman to take control of a male, he must submit to her. It must be a willing and intentional act on the part of the male to accept her as his superior and obey her in all areas without question. For him to demonstrate this submission he must openly declare this by publicly showing it to be the case. Some form of showing and not just saying it must be demonstrated for the male’s role change to be acknowledged by the woman. Women learn that through these displays a closer bond forms. The Female feels good about her position and that of her male. She feels there is a real commitment and that progress can be measured.

FORMULA FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

As those of us who live this lifestyle know, none of this is done out of anger or meanness. It is done out of, and with, love—in an effort to create a wonderful, loving marriage. A marriage where the husband obeys and serves his wife. Where he understands that a male’s place is one of domestic service and total subservience to the wisdom of his superior wife. The husband needs to demonstrate his acceptance of his position as her underling and to show his admiration for her beauty, power and wisdom. Look around you and observe the marriages where the “man” is boss and dominates his wife. Are they happy? Probably not. Look at the marriages where the woman is in charge and controls her husband’s habits, thoughts and actions, and you will most likely see a contented, happy marriage.

There is no greater accomplishment in life than truly loving someone and showing them that love. For the women in this club, that means allowing your husband, boyfriend or whichever male to show you his love by serving and obeying you. Yes, it does sometimes take effort to train them and punish them and guide them in a proper direction, but if you love them, truly love your male, you WILL do these things. For you males, it is bypassing your male egos and upbringing and learning to serve and obey and worship your superior. Shucking your dominating attitude to show you are not afraid to tell the world your superior is the MOST important person in the world to you.

*

Men can only remain in power with force—threats of bodily damage or abuse. A woman can take and keep control by means of voluntary submission on the male’s part. Such males must desire to prove their worthiness to their female superior. I need to know that his mind is on his domestic service and his observance of my rules. That he loves me, obeys me and desires to serve me. It is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week of working at showing me, proving to me, that he desires my ownership. That he lives for my touch and command.

FREQUENT DISCIPLINE

I like to have a weekly disciplinary session with hubby. He knows he will get a spanking and some corner time. This accomplishes several things with one act. First, he knows it is coming, so he has time to think about it. He has to submit to the session and get his spanking dress on himself, a form of submission in itself. He then must submit to the spanking and accept the pain and blows from it. He must verbally accept his faults and agree to his weakness and admit his place. When he is done, he must stand in the corner and think about his faults and his proper place. And when possible, a witness or two will be present because it is the public admission of his subservient status that has the most profound effect. My goal is to train him to try to improve every day in ways to please me and obey me. He can never be perfect and so must try each and every day to improve. He must understand that is I whom he strives to please and impress.

I will say that if a woman is serious in controlling her male, several forms MUST be used. To strictly employ any single form of discipline by itself is ineffective and boring. The male must be constantly titillated by not knowing what Madam will do next. This keeps him on his toes as well as making his submission far more interesting. If I tell my husband I am going to punish him in a particular manner, he believes it even if I have no intentions of doing that to him. He believes it because he knows I have used many forms.

As the years pass, we will find a higher and higher percentage of males doing housework, obeying the women in their lives. Those of you already in this vanguard have a responsibility to your followers, to advise and inform and share your life and experiences with them. Help others to become what you have become.

PROPER MALE ATTITUDE & BEHAVIOR

Attitude: The husband should show an attitude of respect at all times. Disrespect is a serious offense and will be punished severely. Respect includes: manner of speech, promptness, kneeling to serve, proper answers, obedience, loyalty and honesty.

Behavior: Husband shall pay full attention to his Wife when spoken to. His Wife is more important than any other activity the husband may be engaged in. The husband should never sit before the Wife sits and always try to sit at her feet with prior permission. The husband shall dress as his Wife desires. He shall talk only in a very low voice and be humble before her. He shall not argue or complain when in public with his Owner. When his Wife speaks, the husband should just listen and obey and never make any backtalk, which is punishable. 

Wife’s Behavior: The Wife may laugh at the husband or make fun of him if he makes any blunders in front of the others or in a gathering of friends, but husband should never show in his behavior or on his face any objections for these actions.

AN INTERESTING EMAIL EXCHANGE 

Rebeccadom: I would love to see a system for shocking the male that could be implanted in his testicles much like a pacemaker. This would make it so he was always under control. The unit could also be promoted for any type of male dysfunction such as misbehavior, laziness, poor grades in school, etc., and could be widely used even in young males. Mothers could pass the “control” to a girlfriend or wife. I believe the effect on males would be absolutely fantastic.

Dreamloverlabs: We could probably do this if we had millions of dollars rolling in from sales, and you could probably get a doctor in Eastern Europe or South America to do the implant for you. For now, we need everyone’s contribution and help in order to grow and make our products better and better. If we are successful, we promise to listen carefully to the feedback and wishes of our user base in order to create more and more powerful products, which will get tinier and tinier with increasingly high technology... 

SWEET & ELOQUENT TESTIMONY FROM REBECCA’S SLAVE HUSBAND

My wife has arrived home and my heart is fluttering with excitement! I hurry to do her bidding. I do not feel complete until she is home. I have just hung her silk suit in her closet when, whap! Her panties hit me in the face and she laughs playfully. Blushing, I put them in my hand-wash basket and turn to gaze adoringly at my Mistress. Naked, stretching her beautiful body, absolutely comfortable in front of me... She turns her brilliant emerald eyes on me and smiles, knowing exactly what effect she is having on me and enjoying it. Blushing, I lower my eyes to the carpet.

“I’m going to work out on the ellipse trainer for while, Sissy, and then have a shower. I want dinner at seven sharp. Then I’m going out. Lay out my ivory satin strapless with the right stockings and heels. It’s a sexy evening, not business. Got it?”

As she strides past me, all energy, grace and unself-conscious nakedness, she slaps my ass hard and, to her amusement, I squeal and jump and hurry to do her bidding. Now, I am near the center of the feminine mystery. An intimate part of the life of a beautiful woman. An essential convenience for her professional and personal life. So close to her, caring only for her comfort and happiness, knowing that, as a “man,” I would never be here, seeing her glorious nakedness. Knowing how to choose her lingerie and stockings when she wants to be sexy.

A PARTING THOUGHT FROM MADAM REBECCA

Being owned by a female is the final answer for a male.

***

THE GYNARCHIC WISDOM OF MADAME REBECCA, Part One

(Note from Mark Remond. This is reprinted with the permission of Thomas Lavalle from his discontinued blog, The Wonderful World of Female Supremacy.)

 

Back in the 1990s I came across a highly trafficked femdom Yahoo! Group known, as I recall, “Trained Husbands and Happy Wives.” The creator and presiding goddess of this Group (or Club) called herself “Rebeccadom” or “Madam Rebecca.” Not only were her postings uncompromising in their assertion of female supremacy, but also—at least it struck me as so—extremely affectionate and even solicitous toward the inferior male sex. Fortunately, I saved some of these pearls of gynarchic wisdom; and, after many years having just come across them, I’m taking the liberty of reprinting them for the benefit of my readers. Perhaps (one can hope!) Madam Rebecca Herself will learn of my little transgression and contact me—either to order them taken down or to permit me to leave them in place. Whatever her dictates, I will of course obey.—Thomas Lavalle.)

 

A GREETING FROM MADAME REBECCA

 

The males in this club are here for one reason—that is, to learn how to serve and make women happy. The first rule is respect. Show it all the time and no matter who is present. For those of you who are not in the relationship you want, show it and see if it improves. For those of you unattached, show it and see if women don’t start to take a liking to you.

 

THE NEED TO SUBMIT

 

Most males cannot or will not admit their desire and need to be controlled by a female. But whether or not they can admit it, a dominant female is like a goddess to them and they not only crave our power but actually thrive on it. They become better, more productive, nicer people. It is society that says men should be in charge and should control women, but reality says otherwise.

 

CRITERIA FOR A PERFECT SUBHUSBAND

 

Key characteristics of a perfect subhusband:

 

Total Obedience. Whatever she tells you, OBEY without question and the instant you are told. Nothing is more important than obeying her commands instantly, completely and with vigor!

 

Total Respect for Her: Acknowledge her superiority. Your eyes should always be downcast in her presence. Never sit before her, never begin eating before her. Never take the best seat, food, view, etc. Thank her for any attention, including a disciplinary action. Show complete respect for her and her guests at ALL times.

 

She is your idol and you shall strive to rid yourself of all things that do not interest her. Your actions and attire show respect and admiration for what she stands for. They show you have forsaken your maleness in preference for pleasing her.

 

Service: Serving her needs and whims completely without complaint or hesitation. Serve your Lady properly and diligently. Remember, service means ALL domestic duties, serving her and her guests.

 

Mind Submission: Many males try to think for themselves. You must learn to allow your Lady to think for you. Tell you what to do, what you like, what you are, what you are to think about and so on. You have no need for your own thinking, and it will only serve to cause you trouble. Relinquish all thought processes to her and accept whatever she tells you.

Don’t think for yourself, it will only get you in trouble. Your lady will do your thinking for you, accept her thinking as your own.

 

Enthusiasm: Show you are happy to obey and serve her. Be genuinely thankful for the opportunity and gratefully accept punishment. Remember, it takes effort and time on her part as well as an interest in your improvement to punish you.

 

All males will do well to memorize these virtues and follow them. All women will do well to expect and enforce them. Remember, a well-trained husband equals a very happy and fulfilled wife!

 

A WORD FROM REBECCA’S HUSBAND:

 

 Ms. Linda said to my wife, “Rebecca, you really have done a wonderful job in training your husband. He has no idea of even how to think like a man anymore, does he?” Madam smiled and said, “No, Linda, he doesn’t. He thinks what I tell him to think and likes what I tell him to like, and he is content to accept that.” Ms. Linda just smiled at me and shook her head and said, “Rebecca, you really have it together, I need to be a lot more like you.” In response, Madam promised her that that was entirely possible.

 

ENCOURAGING A WIFE’S DOMINANT NATURE

 

The best way to help your wife’s dominant nature come out is to submit to her. Allow her to be boss, make decisions, tell you what to do. The real key is for you to submit and NEVER give her static on anything. Be encouraging and supportive. Show her how she is better than you. It will take time and may never happen, but if you are serious this is what you must try.

 

The first thing I would suggest is to really understand what it means. That you submit to the woman who takes ownership of you. And that means you do what SHE wants and the way SHE wants it. Give up all thoughts of what you want or like. The second suggestion is that you find a way to contribute to her economically, such as holding a day job and turning your paycheck over to her as reward for her taking her time to train and house you. You must learn to live for only her.

 

You must learn what your wife wants and do what she wants. Being a sub is doing for her, obeying her. As you do this she will gain confidence and learn to like it. It may takes months or years or forever but if you are true in what you say you need to ask her what she wants, listen to her and obey her. Then it will work.

 

What you have to do is stop trying to get her to dominate you and submit to her. By submitting to her, you give up your desires, your preferences, your needs. Submit totally to her and in time your needs will get taken care of. You must be really serious to do it and make it work. And you must totally submit to her in everything, including your actions, needs, wants, ideas and even thoughts.

 

Now if you accomplish this and stick with it, you will be well rewarded as a subservient with no power at all. Her needs, wants and desires and your total submission are what will get her to dominate you.

 

Women need to see males repeat and repeat before they believe them. You are on the right track, just keep it up. First, understand that women do not like to fight and nag to get something done, and if they have to do so, either they will forget about it or do it themselves. So if you do not dedicate yourself to being a great maid, it will never work. You cannot say you will do the housework and then not do it or put it off. You must do it and do it regularly and preferably before she has a chance.

 

Women have been raised seeing only women do this menial work and have been told they are a failure if it is not done by them and done perfectly. To counter this problem, you must explain how you enjoy doing it, how it makes you feel closer to her, how it takes away your guilt feelings. She must see you enjoying it and you must NEVER complain. Ask her advice and for her to inspect your work. Tell her that you do it for her so she has more free time. Encourage her to go out and do things with her friends and, yes, even male friends.

 

Remember you are there to make her life a joy, and if that means you become a cuckold, then be happy you are and happy she is enjoying her life. Remember you are not the sex object, she is, and you are just the maid. Ask her permission and her choice of how and when you get sexual relief and then obey her.

 

A lot of males think that their submission is all up to the female, but in reality it is almost all up to them. A woman will not waste her time with a male not suitable for training, she will just do the things herself rather than put up with the trouble and problems associated with an incompetent male.

 

Ladies, many of you who have been married for a while or who have been living with a male for some time have come to know that males can be a lot of work and occupy a lot of your time. There are many reasons to train a husband, but the number one reason is to free up your time and reduce your burden.

 

What can you do with this time? Lots! First, you can pamper yourself or, better yet, be pampered by him. Relax and enjoy your nails being manicured and painted while you enjoy a TV show or a visit from a friend. Having hubby kneeling before you will provide you with the pampering you deserve.

 

I can’t tell you how much I enjoy allowing my husband to bathe me, manicure me, do my hair, dress me and get me ready for a date with my lover. I wear items for my lovers I would never wear for my husband, and he sees that. He knows I have many choices, and this encourages hubby to obey and serve.

 

Ladies, don’t waste another minute! Put your male on a training schedule today and start enjoying the good life.

 

There are many stages to training a husband, and it certainly would not do well to plunge a male into complete and total servitude in an instant. That is why it is called training. It takes time and initiative to get a male where he belongs, and for a Woman to accept her true place as head of the house.

 

I began my domination while we were dating. I let him know I did not trust him and that if he wanted me, he had to prove to me he was only with me and would be loyal to me. I taught him that he had to work harder at being what I wanted him to be, and to be ready to serve me at all times. I don’t like housework, and I like a male to submit to me. Submission was something I needed on a daily basis, and for a male to do my bidding.

 

And rather than a househusband, as you put it, I wanted a maid. Where was I going to get a real maid? I had to make one. And who better to make into a real maid than my husband? He would be loyal and always there when I wanted him. It gave me a feeling of great power and I knew there could also be a lot of fun with it.

 

I don’t regret training him for one second and neither does he. I think a woman must take charge and press her will on any husband to be happy in today’s world. It used to be a man’s world but that is no longer the case. Women are taking over.

 

Your male should be looking and doing the same things. Think of all the advantages you would have, how enjoyable life would be. No arguments from him, no wanting to do something different than what you want to do. A well-trained husband learns to have the same interests, the same likes and same desires as you do. Don’t waste your life, get him into a training program today!

 

Males, these are ideals that you should strive to mimic. There are a million benefits to you to look, think and act like these very well-trained males. Do it, get yourself on a program that will provide these kinds of results.

 

CORNER TIME & ‘PUTTING AWAY'

 

It is important for all husbands to spend time in the corner. Not for punishment, although the corner can be used for that; but corner time is excellent for training the husband where and how to be when not needed.

 

I have done a lot of research into what works best to keep males in their place and simply placing them in the corner is one of the most effective ways I have found.

 

I require my husband to practice standing in a designated corner of each room for five minutes each day, NO EXCEPTIONS! I choose a corner in each room as his designated corner. He stands facing the wall with feet together. A timer is set by him for five minutes, and then he goes to the corner and stands until it sounds. He repeats for the next corner and so on.

 

If he is serving me in a room, and I am done with him for the time being or have no further use for him, I will wave my hand at the designated corner and there he goes until I release him. He is not permitted to talk, fidget or slouch, but must stand in his heels with shoes together and weight evenly distributed. His head must be bowed and hands folded nicely.

 

A daily routine of corner time sets a standard that reinforces who is in charge and who is important. Practicing this training in front of others adds a great deal of effectiveness to the ritual. Having another person see you wave him off to a corner and his instant obedience does wonders for both of you. Having a third party see him set the timer and go the corner until it sounds and then repeat will certainly bring a question as to what he is doing, at which time you can explain. To further reinforce his subservient position, you may want to ring a little bell and have him serve you coffee as you explain.

 

I place my husband in the corner when not needed so he is nearby yet out of the way and so he understands that he is for my use and my use only. Placing the male in the corner is also good therapy for the woman in charge. The male has been placed, showing power, that he has done what he was told or motioned to do, showing his obedience and subservience. This reaffirms their unequal relationship and creates a secure situation in the household.

 

Several members have discussed an important point in male training, and that is the “putting away” of a male when not needed or wanted. I want to expand on this important point. It is a crucial part of training to teach the male that he is second in all matters. He is there for the woman’s pleasure and service, and he must never forget that.

 

Puttomh him away into a corner may occur after he has done my nails and I am relaxing, watching TV. I will wave my hand, which he knows means for him to go to his corner. He stays there until told to do something else.

 

Okay, so why put him away? First, it confirms daily your control and his submission. He is constantly reminded that he is there to obey and serve you. It confirms to both of you your power over him. Any hesitation on his part to following this order must be dealt with swiftly and severely.

 

He becomes comfortable with this as well. He knows what is expected of him, and he does it. It is unfair to a male not to have expectations of him, not to have requirements for him. He must know what is expected, and you must be consistent with those expectations.

 

Putting away makes doing something with his presence easy. When you want him out of the way, a wave of the hand accomplishes it and there is no awkward discussion or decisions to make. It is also very impressive for guests to see. But putting away can be taken a step further, such as putting him in the closet or a cage. It still holds the power that a male was sent to the closet, he went without question and will stay until told to get out. He has been put away until you want him to serve again.

 

Cage confinement is usually to reinforce his insignificance. I have a large portable dog transport cage that I take on trips. It’s amusing to see the looks on people’s faces when they ask if I have a dog, and I say, “No, I have a husband.”

 

You must remember that it is important for the male to know he will be disciplined. It gives him a reason to obey. Males are very weak-willed and need a reason to do things. They need direction and a regular regimen to follow. They expect you to do these things so they know where they stand and how they are doing. Ignoring a male is the worst punishment he can get. Putting him through his paces reinforces his approval. Your telling him to go to a corner or into a cage or closet may seem mean to you at first, but I assure you, your slave will love you for it and appreciate the time spent there.

 

FEMALE SUPREMACY

 

Female domination is a willing, loving, beautiful institution and should be admired by all. So this is a place for positive reinforcement of Female Supremacy and male subservience. A place where women can be the most they can be, and where males can learn the joys and satisfaction of serving and obeying their superiors.

 

The number one mistake males make is NOT obeying the orders and wishes of their female owners. You want her to be more active and you desire to show her you are a useful male and serve her. Does it not appear to you that if she told you or asked you or that if you even thought she wanted you to do something, you should do it? Live for her and let her do your thinking for you. Let her know that you know she is always right and she is smarter than you and knows what’s best for you.

 

All males will do well to memorize these virtues and follow them. All women will do well to expect and enforce them. Remember, a well-trained husband equals a very happy and fulfilled wife!

 

With power comes responsibility. As a woman I have power over my trained males and, with that power, it is my responsibility to train and teach and correct and PROTECT them. Males are a valuable commodity to be respected for their abilities. Yes, they are servants, but good servants are a valuable asset to any woman’s holdings. True dominant women who own males know and understand this. We love our well-trained males and, contrary to what many believe, train them because we love them and because we want them to become better and more useful humans. It is NOT out of contempt or meanness but out of practical use of a male.

 

When a male submits to a superior female, he does so with choice; and his choice should be to choose a woman who deserves to be submitted to. Being dominant and superior is NOT without its responsibilities. A dominant female must protect, look out for, advise, take care of, watch over, train and correct her submissive male. Submales are for service, companionship, pleasure, entertainment and the removal of pent-up frustrations, NOT to determine when, where, why or with whom Madam has sex. The idea of any male attempting to control a superior female’s sexual practices is wrong and unconscionable. A submissive male will do well to learn to love his owner’s affairs and the joys it brings her. He will learn to obey her commands.

 

Have your husband sign a paper that says, “I agree that my wife shall have power of attorney over me. I understand that it will now be up to her to decide when I shall or shall not have sexual release and I agree to wear what she tells me and do what she tells me. “

 

MALE SEXUAL RELIEF

 

There are many thoughts on male sexual relief. I will tell you what I have found works so well. I believe a male should get sexual relief and on a regular basis. You may deny it for lengths of time to get him to give in and succumb, but normally speaking he should be allowed to climax once every three days. Yes, some males will get out of the submissive mood for a while right after cumming. If this is the case with your male, he should be confined for an hour and brought back into submission before being released.

 

Sex is like a drug to men and if you withhold it, you can totally control them. You can turn them into willing, obedient slaves who will encourage you to take and enjoy other lovers. Males truly love to please women, but they have no training or guidance on how to do it, so it is up to you to show them. They are so much happier and healthier once they are trained.

 

Resetting the male sexual clock: When you have no sexual desire, which can happen for a short time after cumming, you reject all that is associated with sex. When first training my husband, I had the same problem with him. He was a doll until he came, and then he turned into a male monster. After a few times of that, I had enough and decided to cure the problem. I had a talk with him and explained it would no longer be tolerated. I told him that after he came, instead of turning into a male monster, he had to be MORE submissive or there would be hell to pay.

 

What we are talking about is achieving total submission. This is not something that normally happens overnight. It is usually a journey and starts with sexual rewards for the slave, especially if he is also a husband to the Domme. But total submission results in sacrificing your sexual needs to the Domme as well.

 

(End of part one. Check this space for the second and concluding part in a week or so. –Mark Remond) 

BEAUTY AND POWER

 

(Editor's Note: This is excerpted and reprinted from “Revisiting Vivian’s Domain” on this website; see link below.)

The old paradigm paints femininity as soft and yielding. The female supremacist paradigm offers a complete role reversal—the imperious woman exercising complete dominion over the surrendered male.

This paradigm links beauty and power in a sustaining, lifelong synergy. A few specifics below: 

From Litia’s Journal:

“Now, I’m in My 50’s and gravity is winning more and more every day.... But in the eyes and mind of my husband, I am FAR, FAR, Superior to this beautiful young lady (see photo inset), because to him, I am his Goddess and I am the only one who knows exactly how and when he NEEDS to be punished and disciplined. I am his Queen, I am beautiful in his mind and eyes and he shows it to me EVERY Minute of EVERY day.

(Litia’s Journal

From Vivian’s Domain:

“A key component of every man’s sexuality is awe. When he sees a beautiful woman’s face or an attractive figure, he is drawn almost against his will. He is awestruck and overcome by that power. Have you ever noticed how men behave toward a beautiful woman? They fall all over themselves to please her in some way. Even when there is no way such behavior will result in a sexual experience, men become the willing servants of beauty.

“We see our husbands looking at other women as if they were goddesses and looking at us as if we were mere functionaries, striving to be helpful to women they hardly know and ignoring the needs of the woman who dedicates herself to him and his family. Sometimes we become angry and resentful of our husbands, knowing that it is simply not right that he looks at other women with the passion that rightfully belongs to us. Sometimes we get down on ourselves, feeling unattractive and taken for granted and cheated out of his affection.

“Although there are some exceptions (women who are so beautiful and remain so beautiful that they can inspire their husbands with that beauty even after years of marriage), for most women, even attractive ones, it is not possible after years of cohabitation and child-bearing to become beautiful enough to inspire the kind of awe that will motivate her husband. So, what can a woman do?

“She can understand this: Not only is there power in beauty, there is beauty in power! The ‘take my breath away’ kind of awe that a man feels when he sees a stunningly beautiful woman is similar to the feelings he had as a young adolescent toward women of power in his life—teachers, neighborhood moms, and strict women in general.

“In order to make your husband a better man and a better spouse, you need to make him eager to win your approval and fearful of earning your disapproval. You must exert the kind of power that grabs his attention, makes you beautiful to him and takes his breath away.”

(“Beauty and Power,” Vivian’s Domain

http://worshippingyourwife.blogspot.com/2010/04/revisiting-vivians-domain-part-4.html)

FAVORITE FOURSOME OF FEMDOM FICTION

While this blog remains on hiatus, I decided to make use of the billboard space to recommend a quartet of my favorite contemporary novels (or novellas) of femdom fiction, some of which I’ve mentioned before. In no particular order:

CRUEL HEAVEN by Molly Sands As the author herself describes the story, “Step by step, body and soul, a young woman enslaves her husband. An erotic romance of sex and marriage, and the irresistible rise of a dominant woman.” Molly Sands is a gifted and skillful storyteller and writer, and this may be the best of her four titles to date—The Devlin Woman, A New Devotion and The Obedient Husband (a continuation of A New Devotion) are the other three. The author’s practice of issuing her books in sections can be confusing, but her avid followers (like me) enjoy the practice, as we are eager to pounce on each new installment hot off the press, just as were the followers of Charles Dickens. Bravo, Molly Sands, and encore, encore!

DANCING BACKWARD by Thomas Lavalle
Just published (November, 2015), this 152-page digital novella, subtitled “An Adventure in Male Submission,” follows the effective formula used by both Molly Sands and Ryan Peterson (see below)—constantly switching POV between submissive male and dominant female. This highlights the psychological aspects of the D/s power differential, which provides much of the energy and excitement of my favorite erotic genre. Lavalle is a wordsmith who sometimes lapses into over-the-top imagery (“…higher up, her opulent breasts, gloriously unhammocked and side-sloping, quivered with her laughter”), but he keeps his story moving forward to an ending that clearly requires a sequel. Nice debut, Thomas.

UNEXPECTED PRESENT by Ryan Peterson
A delicious femdom fable structured (I kid you not) on the model of O. Henry’s classic Christmas tale, “Gift of the Magi.” And it’s every bit as romantic and sentimental, which is not easily done in a story that includes a chastity tube, corporal punishment and financial domination. All of this is cleverly woven around an exchange of sexy, symbolic gifts over the Twelve Days of Christmas. Ingenious, matrimonially romantic and sizzling hot. How about opus two, Mr. Peterson?

LESSONS ON THE EDGE by William Gaius

Gaius, a writer-friend, is the most serious novelist of this quartet, a keen observer who just happens to write about femdom or female-led relationships. That is not to say that his page-turning tales are not highly erotic, because they are, with compelling and dimensional characters. “Edge” is a coming-of-age tale of intergenerational femdom about a young man who falls under the spell of his mother's friend, the dominant and fascinating, RoseAnne Perez.

Five stars for all four novels!

Farewell Repost: WORSHIPPING YOUR WIFE: 750-Word Digest Version

(Note From Mark Remond: After four-plus years of blogging on the challenges and rewards of wife worship, and another four years of working with a wide range of guest-bloggers, many with views quite different from mine (and to all of whom I am deeply grateful), I have decided to suspend new publication here in favor of other projects that have now caught my fancy. My intention is to leave the WYW archive intact as a resource.)

For those who, for whatever unaccountable reason, have not yet read the book, Worshipping Your Wife, here is a 750-word Readers Digest or Cliff Notes version:

WORSHIPPING YOUR WIFE: Six Steps for Turning Marriage Back Into Passionate Courtship

“Boyfriends need to understand that if women are worshipped, the world will be a better place.”
—Nicole Kidman

“If you want your wife to be a Goddess, worship her.”
—Clairette de Longvilliers

“The thrill is gone.”

It’s the lament of so many married couples. Husbands and wives drift apart, physically and emotionally, or maintain alliances of custom and convenience, keepers of a flickering flame.

Love has its seasons, as John Gray reminds us in Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. It's folly to expect eternal springtime, perpetual romance.

But what if it's not necessarily true? What if love can be rekindled, even the all-consuming passion of first love? And not rekindled briefly, for just a season, but “ever after,” creating that fairytale future couples dream about when saying their vows?

That’s the extravagant claim of Worshipping Your Wife: Six Steps for Turning Marriage Back Into Passionate Courtship. Yes, courtship—because that’s when guys and girls find each other most mysterious and magnetic.

Here's the entire six-step program in a nutshell—nominally addressed to husbands, but most effective when hand-delivered by their wives (or girlfriends), with salty or salient passages underlined.

The husband needs to:

Step 1: Realize that "the thrill is gone" and that he wants to get it back

A man will do anything to win the woman of his dreams. Should he lose her, he will do anything to win her back. Why, then, is he not willing to do anything, on a daily basis, to keep her contented? Because husbands don't perceive that a wife can be lost if never again wooed or won, that marriage is also a crisis, deserving of extreme efforts.

Step 2: Save his sex energies for his wife

The dirty little secret is that passion doesn't ebb, magic doesn't vanish—not for most husbands anyway. Their fantasy life continues unabated, only focused away from their wives. With visual erotica a mouseclick away, too many husbands, while technically faithful, yield to imaginary infidelity. And, at the risk of sounding Victorian, chronic masturbation, solo and secretive, can rob a marriage of its binding energies.

Step 3: Make her his fantasy

The solution is for the husband to make his wife the centerfold of his inflamed imagination, as she was during courtship. When a husband begins treating her with that same homage, the deadening scales of familiarity will dissolve and he will see her restored to full, feminine mystery and radiance.

Step 4: Court her every day, attempt to win her anew

Let the dragon-slaying, and sonnet-making, and gift-giving continue. Also: In courtship, the man proclaims his romantic ever-readiness, but the woman decides when (or if) sex will happen. It is a wonderfully workable formula, attuned to the dynamics of male and female sexuality. Let the man be hopeful all day long, striving to earn or seduce ultimate favors. Let the wife initiate and announce the main event ("Gentlemen, start your engines!"). Sex will be better and hotter for both--and more frequent.

Step 5: Pamper her and pitch in around the house

Is it unmanly to pamper your wife? Is it insulting, or infantilizing to open doors for her when she's perfectly capable herself? Should a husband stick to gender-specific chores--washing the car, hauling out the garbage? The courtship model makes quick work of such debates: You can't do enough for her! And, in today's
two-income marriages, the woman ought not be expected to tie on the apron the minute she parks her briefcase. Let her log a few after-work hours in the La-Z-Boy (with a magazine and a Merlot). It may pay erotic dividends later that night.

Step 6: Dare to be known by her

Most men aren't comfortable discussing intimate or emotional issues--even sexual fantasies. But the more a marriage returns to the courtship model, the more a husband's thoughts—and fantasies--turn to his wife during the day, the more he will have to share with her at night (or other private times). Opening up to her will serve to strengthen emotional and sexual bonding--and preclude any temptation for a "misunderstood" husband to unburden himself to another woman.

Summing up

“To me it’s pretty simple,” began a memorable post I found in a wife-worshipping message board. “It’s all about doing what I can do to make my wife happy. Because when she’s happy, I’m happy. It doesn’t take much once you get the hang of it. Every single day I just pretend we are dating and I try to win her heart.”

***

Guest Post: LADY SUSAN—INTRODUCING DENNIS TO THE MATRIARCHAL LIFESTYLE

(Note from Mark Remond: “Lady Susan,” Nancy’s mother and dennis’ mother-in-law, who has previously commented on this blog, favors me with occasional observations on her family’s matriarchal lifestyle—and on FLRs in general. Recently, she has given me permission to use limited excerpts from these emails as blog posts. This is the first of what I hope will be a continuing series of contributions from Lady Susan.)

We are all in the female-led lifestyle and have been. Again, we’ve been at this for a long time and have evolved in our practice of the lifestyle. An overriding theme is that we women crave authority, and the men we’ve chosen to marry crave giving it to us. Our word is law and our decisions final!

Dennis has previously posted here about how, not long after he met Nancy, he was brought to her family home to be assessed by Joan (my mother), Julie (my sister), and by me. We were all looking for a man who would fit into the already established rhythm of our matriarchal family life, one where we women are in charge and the men take orders and care for the house.

For example, I don’t often speak of my late husband, but there are reasons for that. Though I loved him dearly, his opinion simply didn’t matter in the overall scheme of things. He knew to turn over his pay and get into the kitchen and be happy about it. And he was happy because he did as he was told. That's the secret to a successful marriage, an obedient husband!

The only time my husband ever appeared during Dennis’ initial visit was when I rang the hand bell for coffee, which my husband dutifully brought, wearing an apron, with all the courtesies I expected accorded me. I immediately watched for Dennis’ reaction to my husband’s dutiful performance and didn’t see a bit of trepidation on Dennis’ face. In fact, he seemed excited at what the future might hold for him.

Nancy had previously confided to me that her new boyfriend was thoroughly pussywhipped, and his reaction that day clearly confirmed it; that and what Nancy had told me about how their relationship was unfolding at school. Dennis is a number of years older than Nancy. They met in college, but she was an undergraduate and he already a graduate student with a well-paying career—very important that “well-paying” thing, as we women want love, but NEVER underestimate the importance of money to us! LOL!

Speaking quite candidly, any man who wishes to join our family will be judged on three things: money, sexual performance, and a willingness to comply with our wishes, which is, in our view, the manifestation of love on the part of a man. A man certainly needs to score high on two of these three criteria. After all, a woman can get sex—good sex—anywhere, but we expect more from our men. A guy who is fantastic in bed still had better be bringing nice gifts and provide great evenings out!

But back to Nancy and Dennis at college. They met at a feminist rally and soon became good friends, working with a women's group and taking elective classes in women's studies. Nancy suggested that Dennis also participate in marches and other public forums in support of women’s issues. He took her suggestions (quite properly) as orders and complied, another good sign. It’s no secret that we women love manipulating men, especially when it results in our getting control of some of man's ill-gained money. Nancy did this with great aplomb!

In her second year she convinced Dennis that she deserved more than the dormitories and belonged in an upscale downtown apartment. Thinking he was going to move in with Nancy—silly boy!—he arranged a very nice apartment. But Nancy had no intention of his moving in with her. She arranged the lease to be in his name only with a sublet to her for $1 a year! This meant that Dennis paid for the year, yet still couldn't move her from the apartment. In fact, Dennis never moved in, though he did visit on Thursdays to clean the place—that was his responsibility. Dennis was, in effect, my daughter's sugar daddy, renting the apartment for her for three years. Now that's a man worth looking at—money and obedience, two very important criteria. (As for that third essential attribute a woman requires in a man, well, let's just skip over that one for now.)

Our matriarchal circle is a small but growing. Many of the couples who join seem to be like your wife and you, Mark. We’re seeing so many educated women who want as much on their terms as they can get—and they deserve it all! You’d be surprised how many men are turning over paychecks, doing housework, and not standing in the way when their wives want regular nights out with the girls—or, more and more frequently, with the “boys.”

Life in our family homes is fairly routine. It’s not some kind of femdom scene, just a well-organized situation with well-established rules to make sure everyone knows their responsibilities. Much of the real lifestyle work we do is outside the home. For example, Dennis has jobs outside of his regular career where he works for women-owned businesses. He also spends a lot of time working at the women’s center, a feminist group that is into a lot of activities, workshops, demonstrations and so on.

I’ll be happy to share more about all this in future posts.

—Lady Susan

Guest Column: JERRY’S STORY—‘WORSHIPPING MY WIFE FROM HEAD TO TOE’

(Note from Mark Remond: This is the first in what I hope will be a series of guest posts from "Jerry," a man totally under the spell of his beautiful and controlling wife, "Diane." A powerful aspect of Jerry's submission , as you will see, involves his being cuckolded. This is very much a hot-button topic, of course, and one which I don't recall being discussed here before, though it has become commonplace in many other FLR blogs. The focus here is not on the wrong or right of cuckolding, but on Jerry's need to speak candidly about this deeply submissive fantasy of his, and his subsequent reaction when fantasy became reality)

I’m 42 years old, and my wife, Diane, is 40. We’ve been happily married for 15 years and have three children together—a 14-year-old girl and two boys, 12 and 10. From the beginning my wife has been the head of the household, and her judgments, opinions and priorities rule. She has complete control of the family finances. All earnings from my main employment are deposited into her account, and from this she provides me with an allowance. There is absolutely no need for Diane to explain anything whatsoever about the family finances to me. She is free to spend as she alone sees fit whether, in her judgment, for the benefit of the family or merely for her own enjoyment. Recently, for example, she purchased a new Mini Cooper convertible, and this was her decision alone.

Obviously I am submissive to her. Indeed, I worship the ground she walks on, and I worship her literally from head to toe. Putting her shoes on has become a daily ritual for us. In the morning as Diane gets ready for work she requires me to fetch her footwear for the day and then place her selection on her feet. I go into her closet and locate the appointed pair, then kneel before her with the shoes until she instructs me to begin. I start by kissing the top of her left foot very gently, then carefully putting on the shoe, then kissing the top of the shoe before repeating the same process with her right shoe and right foot. Following this, I fasten a gold ankle bracelet around her right ankle. (Yes, I know what some of you may be thinking—Don’t married women wear anklets on the left, and unmarried women on the right? Stay tuned.)

Increasingly, over the past 14 years since our first child was born, I have expressed my obvious submission to my wife in front of our children in what I think are appropriate ways—as, for example, treating her soles with lotions and creams to keep them soft and sexy. For another example, when watching TV as a family in the evening, my wife and children usually sit on the sofa while I sit on the floor near her feet, caressing and casually kissing them.

Like many other wife-worshiping husbands who have posted or commented on this blog, I do all the household chores—laundry, running errands, scrubbing the floors, etc. Often while I’m doing my chores, Diane goes out shopping for sexy outfits or getting her hair done, or simply out enjoying herself, spending as she sees fit. As mentioned, she need not, and usually does not, tell me where she is going or what she will be doing.

Now here comes a confession, one that I don’t think will shock too many readers of this blog. I have often fantasized about Diane having a secret affair. I have imagined this incredibly sexy woman spending Friday nights out with a lover, being pleasured, pampered and worshipped by him while I stay at home, looking after the children and doing my house chores, perhaps scrubbing floors on my hands and knees.

Recently I had to go abroad for work for a few days, between a Thursday and a Monday. While I was away I of course kept Diane informed of my doings by phone and emails. So on Friday evening, after finishing my day’s work, I left Diane a simple and to-the- point phone message: “Just getting to my hotel room now, honey, I love you.” It had been a long hot day, so hot and humid, in fact, that it took my breath away each time I stepped out of my air-conditioned car into the furnace heat. Holding my overnight bag in my teeth I struggled clumsily to open the hotel door, and once inside dropped everything at the foot of the bed. Letting out a long and loud sigh, I collapsed on the bed, then stretched out for a few moments thinking of nothing but how blessedly good it felt to lie there in my air-conditioned cave.

After a while, however, my tired mind began to wonder why Diane hadn’t answered the phone herself. After all, it was nearly 3:30 in the afternoon, and the kids would be home from school soon. She always liked to be there for them on their return. (Let me insert here that Diane is a terrific mom in all ways.) But I quickly put my mind at ease. It was, after all, no big deal. Lately Diane and I have both begun enjoying a little freedom from the kids now that they’re getting a bit older. So I turned on the TV and began channel surfing. An hour slipped past before my cell phone began ringing. It was one of the kids, asking me where Mom was—all the kids were wondering apparently. No “Hi, Dad, how was your day?” or anything but “Where’s Mom?”

“I don’t know, honey,” I answered. “I’m sure she’ll be home soon.”

“Okay, bye, I love you!” Click.

I stared at the phone and chuckled, thinking: “I definitely have to teach my kids some phone manners.”

Figuring now that Diane must have escaped to the local casino, I texted her in a teasing way: “Good luck, hope you’re enjoying gambling away my hard-earned money!” and waited for a reply.

After a short while she texted back: “Thanks, I hope to get lucky : ), but I am not at the casino lol... I’ll text you later.”

“Where are you then?” I queried.

There was no reply. Puzzled, I could do nothing but wait... and let my imagination get the better of me.

Having received her text, I knew my wife was okay, obviously not in harm’s way. Her text was flirtatious and included a smiley face, so I also knew she was in a good mood. So, she had to be out with one of her friends, but who? That was the million dollar question. My rational mind said she had to be with her best friend. All evidence pointed to that—she was out and happy, simply too busy to talk to me.

But there were clues pointing to something else. I felt the familiar stirrings on a fantasy involving my deepest desire of submission to her, my desire for her to cheat on me. Images of Diane making love to some complete stranger swarmed through my mind. I saw her sexy body wrapped up in the arms of this other man, saw her enjoying herself, spending that part of our family income that I’d earned.

Immediately I sent her a couple of emails and texts telling her how much I adore her and how beautiful she is. But I wanted to do more. Immediately on my return, I decided, I would give her a surprise gift and take her shoe shopping as I knew she had a night out planned the following weekend and needed some new heels.

As mentioned above, Diane completely controls the family finances and all the earnings from my main (full-time) employment, and she provides me with an allowance. But I also have a part-time job with her permission, buying and selling items online, and I spend almost all of this extra income for her. I love to lavish her with expensive and elegant gifts. The remaining amount is spent on gifts for our children, such as toys and games.

When I returned home Diane and the kids greeted me. I hugged and kissed the children, then hugged and kissed Diane softly on her lips. Then I asked her please to come with me, explaining to the kids that the two of us had to do some shopping and would be back soon. I took her hand and out we went. As always, I opened the passenger door for Diane, and before we drove away, we kissed passionately. But when she asked me where we were we going, I teased her just to wait and she’d find out very soon. To her surprise and delight, the destination was a designer shoe shop where I paid for a very sexy pair of Italian high heels of her choice.

When we returned home, I asked all the children please to go upstairs as I needed to talk privately to their mom. As soon as they left, I knelt before Diane and worshipped and kissed the soles of her feet, then lovingly helped her into her sexy new designer heels.

Friday night arrived: When Diane goes for a night out with her girlfriends, all of whom seem to be single, she always instructs me to drive her to the nightclub where she meets them, and I pick her up later, whenever she calls me on her mobile phone. As I mentioned, Diane is 40, but so incredibly sexy that she doesn’t look more than 30. But driving her to and from the club is not my only involvement in her nights out.

She allows me to help her prepare for these outings. On the night in question, I drew her a bath and afterward worshipped her neck before putting on her elegant diamond necklace, then worshipped and kissed the soles of her bare feet, knelt before her and fastened on her anklet, and then sucked her toes before sliding on her diamond toe ring. Next I helped her into her new sexy high heels that I had just given an extra polish.

When it was time to leave, Diane reminded me to start the laundry as soon as I got back home and to cook dinner for the children. Then, brimming over with adoration, I drove her to the nightclub, feeling so lucky to be able to worship such an earthly goddess.

Back home again, I started the laundry and cooked dinner for the children and myself. After we finished, I cleaned the dishes and continued with ironing some clothes and some doing some vacuuming.

At three a.m. Diane called me from her cell phone and instructed me to pick her up in exactly one hour. The nightclub is only about a 30-minute drive from our house, but for some reason I decided to leave immediately, and instead of going to our agreed-upon meeting spot, to park near the nightclub entrance and wait there until she left the club with her girlfriends.

Shortly after I arrived and parked, however, I witnessed something that has changed my life forever. I saw Diane come out of the club with a guy, a complete stranger to me, and they were kissing—I mean really kissing, French kissing. They couldn’t see me, but I watched them touching each other intimately and kissing deeply for at least 15 minutes before I backed the car away quietly and went to wait for my wife at our meeting spot.

When Diane arrived at 4 a.m., I kissed her sweetly as usual and said nothing about having spied on her outside the club, or, of course, what I had seen as a result. On our way home I asked her casually how her night out had gone, and she told me that she’d enjoyed it very much and that the time had passed so quickly, and that she was already looking forward to seeing her friends again.

I bet, I thought! In fact, to this day, my wife does not know that I am aware that she has a boyfriend behind my back.

What is my reaction? Well, yes, there is some jealousy, I can’t deny it. But there is something deeper than jealousy that I felt that night. In fact, I was turned on like never before and saw Diane as truly a sexual goddess. This just made me even more submissive to her. When we got home early that morning I knelt before her and licked her soles, sucked her toes and worshipped her slavishly.

Two weeks later I gave her another surprise gift—purchased like my other gifts to Diane with the proceeds from my extra job, this one an expensive “Sexy” diamond and platinum necklace.

Since that memorable night, I feel incredibly excited and turned on each time I help Diane prepare for another night out “with the girls.” My submissive excitement continues throughout the hours she is gone, knowing that I am obligated to do all the house chores and laundry while my sexy wife is taking her pleasure with another man and, of course, freely spending money I have earned to further her enjoyment.