DENNIS: ANOTHER COMMENT ON 'HOUSEKEEPING 101'

(Note from Mark Remond: Here is another Comment (from reader Tommy) and Response (from Dennis) that I decided to turn into a separate posting.)

Tommy comments:

“I find it fascinating how much guidance men need in housekeeping. I guess I've been doing it so long, I have been regarding housework as a common sense skill, refined to Her preferences. One point I find particularly useful to convey is efficiently effective housekeeping. Anybody can spend 3 hours to make a bathroom spotless and sparkling, but to do as perfect a job in 45 minutes or LESS is the challenge.

“One point I would like to convey is scheduling. In Her house we have established a housekeeping schedule. A whole-house light cleaning is done daily as schedules permit. I say “as schedules permit” because let’s be honest, one cannot always work a full day at the office, come home, cook, clean, shop, serve AND please Her, every day! Some nights we entertain or go out, or simply devote the night to Her pleasure; but, of course, the tasks must be made up. So, light cleaning daily. Deep-cleaning at least 2 rooms on Sunday while She shops with Her Gal-pals or, during this time of year, watches football with them. Deep-cleaning involves cleaning walls, floors, ceiling fans, scrubbing bathroom fixtures, polishing and moving furniture and appliances to clean behind, windows and vacuuming, plus washing all sheets and towels.

“During this time, it's important to note that i am to serve their slightest whim if they're home. And i am strictly prohibited from placing a single glance at the television, ESPECIALLY if it's a sporting event (men+tv(esp.

sports)=worthless zombie). Special projects (home improvement, painting, repairs, etc.) are undertaken when She is away on Her Gals weekends monthly.

“Efficiency in shopping is also very important. You often see men wandering the market like zombies looking for the most basic of items. Learn the shop, where everything is, when it's stocked, and the prices of items. Know what you want. Have a list. And this is critical, know the checkers. Who's fast, who chats, who's helpful. Go in, get it all, get out. I plan shopping continually and organize my list and coupons during lunch breaks at work, and ALWAYS ask Her if there's anything special i need to pick up.

“Oh, and need I say that everything mentioned above should be concluded with ‘...or as otherwise directed.’”

Dennis responds:

Tommy, thank you for your excellent post from the perspective of one who's in the lifestyle and obviously enjoying it. You and i have much in common in terms of our approach to serving our women and taking on our domestic responsibilities. i and other men i know in the lifestyle work from a schedule that parallels yours. Light cleaning every day with some heavier tasks also in play, circumstances permitting. i also have daily tasks to tend to, laundry being one, ironing another. And, as you note, serving the women is always top priority, so housekeeping may have to be postponed to accommodate their situation. If Nancy is going out of town on business, it's my job to pack her bags. If the women are entertaining, then my priorities are focused on preparing a small meal, serving drinks, greeting the women, hanging coats, making drinks, and so on. A lot of work, but a lot of fun, too. In these situations housekeeping takes a back seat temporarily and often gets done in the wee hours of the morning after the women have left. I have two hours of personal time allocated each day, but it's understood that that is only with the women's permission AND if my work is done; otherwise, personal time has to be work time.

Heavy cleaning is done on weekends or when the women are away, much as you note. It's a practical approach that allows me to focus my efforts appropriately. Any of the things i'm expected to do are spelled out. Nancy's mother, Sue, has standards for everything, such as the 52 things that add up to a clean living room. There are things She checks when inspecting my work; and She does inspect! Sounds burdensome but it isn't; i know exactly what's expected and do it.

You are also correct that one must be efficient; this is very important. There's a lot to get done and get done in an acceptable manner. Unfortunately when most men are trained, often by their wife or a member of her family, efficiency just isn't taught, and this leads to problems later. In a pending post i will discuss my working as a housekeeper in both a hotel and for a residential maid service. Frankly, this is what most men should be getting, not just instruction on basic skills but on how to do these things efficiently; how to do more in less time. Sue arranged my housekeeper work for that reason; the more efficient I am, the more i can do. my doing more makes all of us happy! i take a lot of pride in serving the women and in keeping house; it's enjoyable and fulfilling. Men in traditional relationships just don't understand but once one gets into an FLR, men get another perspective and adapt readily to the role of homemaker.

Nancy and i have done a number of posts on this blog that concern things like housekeeping, shopping, and so on, all topics that are important to a mutually fulfilling FLR. We appreciate your post; it's always nice to hear from others in the lifestyle.

--d