AW
(commenting on dennis’ post, LEADERSHIP WEARS HIGH HEELS!:
Just
wanted to share that this blog has been inspirational. I'm not sure I agree
with it all, but it has made me think, and I am trying very hard to properly
worship my wife. I always thought I did, but after really trying, it is amazing
how often I forget myself and put my needs before hers, in conversations and in
deeds. It's tougher than it sounds! But it really feels right, and I will
continue to try my hardest. I think she is enjoying it too, and our
relationship has always had that kind of dominance anyway, but I was just
surprised at how much more I had to learn.
Anyway.
thanks for the inspiration. I look forward to keeping up with your and other
blogs on the lifestyle.
PS: An
interesting conundrum here, I don't think my wife would appreciate me sharing this,
so I am anonymous and feeling a bit guilty for now, but we'll see if I gather
the courage to bring it up with her in the future!
*
dennis
responds:
aw, your
sentiments concerning Worshiping your Wife are indeed real and valid. Getting
into the lifestyle is something that takes time and effort on your part and
acceptance on the part of your Wife. She is the one who will ultimately
determine the facets of your relationship – accept what She says!
Nevertheless,
you can move things forward by doing little things for Her and seeing how She
responds. This is how my relationship with Nancy evolved. So many of the things
i do for Her, weren't suggested by Nancy at all; rather, i started doing
something for Her that She enjoyed or that was beneficial and just kept on
doing it. Taking care of Her shoes, for example, or the little stoop and bow
that i do as a show of respect. Now these things are a part of the dynamic of
our relationship. They are no longer a courtesy but, rather, something
expected.
you
note that “it is amazing how often I forget myself and put my needs before
hers, in conversations and in deeds.” This is natural, particularly early in a
relationship; men are conditioned this way and it's essential that you change
such behaviors. While you should make a mental note to defer to Her, actions
speak louder than words. Defer to Her in conversation; ask for Her views; agree
with Her; immediately do what She says, compliment Her; listen to Her
responses! Listening is VERY important; Women want to be listened to, but men
rarely do this. The Women in Nancy's family gave me an invaluable piece of
advice when they told me i should “Shut up and listen.” i've learned a lot by
listening, whether the Women are speaking to me or not. By listening you learn
about Her likes, dislikes, wants, and needs. With this knowledge you can do
more for Her and move your relationship along. And by listening, you're telling
Her what She's saying is important; by keeping quiet, you're telling that what
you have to say isn't. This is confirming exactly what She feels. And it's a
powerful demonstration of who's in charge of the relationship!
i'm
not sure how far your Wife will take your relationship, but most Women love the
dynamic of an FLR and will eventually start moving things forward. Nancy and i
are well along in our relationship; Nancy is quite authoritative and that's how
we both like it. No “please and thank you” on Her part, just an order or an
expectation met with a energetic, “Yes, Ma'am.” It's the reality of our life
together, and that's how we like it! Nancy loves giving orders and i love
taking them; now that's real worship, to our way of thinking! Men outside an
FLR don't understand; those inside do, and those contemplating an FLR are
excited at the prospect!
Good
luck!
6 comments:
I agree with the suggestions presented in the post. My only comment is that early on in my relationship to my wife I wanted her to tell me to do something by saying "sub, go do ......" Every now and then she would but by in large that is not her and I've come to accept her just telling me. When we first started most of her 'orders' came in the form of a question but she'd often remind me that if I ask you to do something that means I am telling you to do so. Those days are mostly gone and now she just tells me what she wants. That is a long-winded way to say that for the most part we live as a couple. Period. We don't play. I serve, Katie leads. And we do so practically efficiently. Nice post D
Thanks for your responses. i've had a few orders this last week which was very exciting, but really dennis has it right, listening is the key and just enjoying the glorious joy of making Her happy.
I hope to keep moving forwards with this, looking forward to more tips for advancing and serving. I love her shoes so looking after them will be no chore, but why am i not doing it already?
So much to learn and so much to do.
Thanks again.
AW
I understand the concept for some couples of wife and woman worship including using capital letters for She and Woman,etc. That sounds exciting, however, I don't agree with the concept that what the husband has to say isn't important.
A few years ago I realized that the root of most of the problems in our relationship could best be dealt with by more being more communicative. This lead to me opening up more to my wife and telling her about my desire for a wife led relationship. She continues to encourage me to communicate. For instance, she wants me to tell her if I place any type of restraint on my genitals, something I like to do to make me feel more submissive when doing chores for her. I am still a little shy about telling her this and last night she said that from now on she commands me to do so. Just hearing her command me to do something caused me to become erect.
Long story short, I think that communication is key in any relationship and that keeping quiet to show who is in charge is not necessarily a good thing in general.
Thanks, mrbill
Dennis, I have something of an instinctive understanding of your point that men should be quiet and listen to women because what they say is more important. I used to be in a relationship with a woman whom I worshipped. I simply loved listening to her talk, especially about herself. In fact, the thing I loved most was her bragging about herself, something women usually don't do. It raised her even more in my estimation, and it was a treat. And I learned much from her. Because women are more observant and less in their head than most men, we can learn just from listening to women. That's why the best rule is to be silent unless spoken to. Also as you have pointed out, it does take some retraining not just to listen out of pleasure but to be of service. That's usually a pleasure but not always so. Ultimately, it's about female values and ways of looking at the world that we can greatly benefit from. I certainly have.
LS
I can relate to AW.I have been practicing a FLR even before my wife is truly understanding the whole concept of it.She is currently reading a book that is very clear at teaching this lifestyle.Everyday I find myself thinking before I speak.I listen to her,ask her opinion and what she wants.I find it amazing how much of the time it was all about me and what I wanted. Thanks for the blog
dennis responds to I'm Hers: Not too many Women in our experience are ever going say "sub go do so.....". The sub thing diminishes the situation from a practical lifestyle to a game in the eyes of most Women.
d
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