dennis: LEADERSHIP WEARS HIGH HEELS!

(Note from Mark Remond: This is a posting dennis sent to me some time ago, one which I meant to publish earlier. A reminder to new readers: dennis has been directed by his Wife and Mother-in-Law to lower-case all masculine nouns and pronouns and to capitalize all Feminine nouns and pronouns. I do not interfere in his compliance with those directives.)

Carol sent me to a workshop on software development today. i was flattered to be selected, particularly since the Women we sent are all regarded as high-performing management candidates. The company conducting the training had a significant percentage of Women in technical, finance, and consulting positions just as our company does. No accident here; Women simply have the needed talent and education. So far the course is excellent; the Women conducting it really know software.

It's also been interesting watching leadership dynamics that come into play. Not sure why, but the men in attendance, with the exception of tom and me, organized themselves into their own team for the course exercises. tom and i chose to get on one of the Women’s teams and were welcomed as members of their group. The Women said they welcomed ideas no matter where they came from. The only condition was that They wouldn’t tolerate male bravado and told us so; none of that from tom or me. The Women took charge and moved forward with a good analysis of the problem given us; lots of collaboration and exchange of ideas.

The Women also looked professional; i know from my work in the boutique that a business suit, pantyhose, and heels are a combination that screams “we mean business.” The men, on the other hand, came to class dressed casually if not sloppily. They had an attitude that they had all the answers—“piece of cake,” one said.

The men looked on the workshop as a competition with the Women. they kept to themselves, worked alone in another room on the other side of the building, argued a lot, and even spied on the Women's work during breaks. The Women were collaborative and open to ideas and inputs; yes, they reached out to the obviously dysfunctional men but were rebuffed—“we don't need help from you Girls,” one of the men said laughingly.

When the exercises were completed at the end of the day it was the Women who, by far, had the best solution to the problem put forth; the men were obviously confused and greatly underperformed. The instructor made them stay late to try and salvage something of the day for them. The men embarrassed themselves and their gender. Anyone, even the most casual observer, would see that Women were the obvious leaders here. It's no wonder Women are moving up in government and business. Women are collaborating and getting things done, making a difference, in spite of men.

tom and i were invited to have dinner with the Women. When one of them joked that we “wouldn't mind being one of the Girls,” we agreed. Why would anyone mine being on a winning team? As we walked out of the workshop, the sound of six pairs of high heels echoed through the hallway—a sound can be intimidating, ominous, or triumphant. One of the Women laughed at the sound and observed, “Wow, We make a lot of noise!” i told Her that high heels on polished tile was the sound of the future. “Leadership wears high heels,” i added. She agreed. It’'s the new reality. And i LOVE the sound of high heels!

—d

FIVE-STAR FEMDOM FICTION RECOMMENDATION

Back in 2008 I wrote an appreciative blog post about a femdom short-story writer signing himself “Eosuchus” (“Josie and Clemmie”). In the last couple yars I’ve posted two of my own attempts (@ 99 cents a download) in this fantasy genre (Mark’s Femdom Fiction), though I don’t consider myself in Eosuchus’ league.

And today I want to recommend William Gaius, an estimable novelist and collegial acquaintance who describes his genre as “magical realism and erotic romance," but which one reviewer called “soft femdom.” Under whatever label, Gaius is a skillful and insightful writer, and especially so in illuminating the romantic and psychological landscape of Female Led Relationships.

Talk about peaks and valleys! Come to think of it, “magical realism” is a pretty descriptive term for a susceptible guy falling under the spell of a naturally dominant woman. In the two novels below (hyperlinked to Kindle editions), Gaius captures the conflicts and ecstasies of this special kind of romantic obsession in a powerful and persuasive way:

LESSONS AT THE EDGE (Parts 1, 2 & 3):

A tale of intergenerational femdom about a young man who falls under the spell of his mother's friend, the dominant and fascinating, RoseAnne Perez.

ANCESTORS OF STAR:

A Chicago premed student takes a year off from college to gain work experience on an Indian reservation in northern New Mexico, where he is seduced by the force and beauty of his new boss, the mesmerizing Elaine Yellow Star.

Both definitely worth a download.

dennis: UPDATE ON MY MANY DUTIES IN SERVING WOMEN

i haven’t been writing much lately given other commitments on the home front, plus a lot of activity at work and at the Women’s Center. Nancy has been quite busy of late, which naturally keeps me busy as well. With all Her out-of-town business travel, i’ve been very busy just packing and unpacking Her bags.

At the same time My Mother-in-law Sue has been hosting a number of small parties and get-togethers with Her many friends. Serving Her guests is very enjoyable for me, since I love being of service to Women; but it, too, makes major demands on my limited time. Having to serve doesn’t relieve me of my normal housekeeping chores, of course, so once Sue retires to Her quarters (we have a Mother-in-law suite), i get busy cleaning. (There is a house rule that everything has to be cleaned up before i go to bed.)

And then there is household shopping. Thankfully we have 24-hour stores nearby. More than once I’ve had to do the weekly grocery shopping—with permission, of course—at 2:00 a.m. There seem to have been a lot of late nights.

As for my boss, Carol, whom one of the commenters has asked about, lots has been happening on that front, too. In fact, i have just completed some business travel with Carol and am exhausted—with Her it’s an 18-hour day every day. She’s also been active within the company, formulating new interview, hiring, and promotion rules. Carol wants the company to put on a “feminine face” and is making sure we actively recruit and promote Women. We now have an unwritten 2/3 rule that states that, for every man we interview, we must interview two Women. We want to hire Women with technical skills and are offering an attractive compensation package to get them.

When promoting, we have to interview using the 2/3 rule and have to justify not promoting a Female candidate. Carol also instituted a mentoring program for Women within the company intended to give Them management exposure that will help Them along their career paths. We’re getting some wonderfully assertive Women at all levels, Women who want to make a difference. Male employees are more and more accepting these developments and most are fully cooperative; and those who aren’t are getting counseling to help change their ways.

What else? Well, i borrowed tuition money from Sue and am attending the “Gracious Living” class at the Women’s Center. i was offered a reduced tuition rate since i’m acting as a mentor to the other men in the class, but I declined the offer. As a progressive gentlemen, i feel it’s both a privilege and a responsibility to support the Center.

The course covers a number of topics intended to take male homemakers to the next level in their housekeeping and service skills. A wide variety of topics are offered to this end: window coverings and tapestries; flatware, china, and linens; flower arranging, arts and crafts decorating; artificial flowers, potpourri, and fragrances; personal service, and the boudoir.

As with all courses at the Center, there’s a practicum involved. men have some leeway in suggesting a decorating, arts and crafts, or service project at home, along with another service project for a host Woman. The men may suggest, but a group of Women at the Center ultimately decides. So far this class is going very well. All the men are at least part-time housekeepers and are anxious to enhance their domestic skills. It’s not just about pleasing one’s Wife but about the personal satisfaction that comes from being able to competently do more.

Tomorrow at the office we are having “administrative professionals” day, formerly known as “secretaries day.” At our company our administrative professionals include a large minority of males who have been hired into secretarial and clerical roles. Like their Female counterparts, the men will receive a flower arrangement and gift certificate. We expect that our administrative staff will have a male majority next year.

Finally, Nancy and i conducted an informal workshop at our home this week for three Women who are interested in exploring the FLR lifestyle. i always participate by serving the Women, demonstrating my obedience to Nancy, and attesting to my satisfaction to the lifestyle She and i share. Plenty of great conversation and many experiences were shared. These Women were looking for tips on how to proceed in taking control of their marriages. Nancy knows the men in question here and doesn’t feel the Women will have any trouble; the men She feels will be receptive to taking orders and having the resulting tranquility in their marriages. The Women will likely be busy this coming week, consolidating control of their finances, making some rules, and assigning some chores. Needless to say, the men will be kept busy, too!

—d

dennis: A BENEFIT OF LEARNING TO SERVE - WORSHIPING KATHERINE (Part 2)

(Part 1 related how Joan’s rigorous tutelage in proper serving etiquette gave dennis the confidence to apply for a wait-staff position at an upscale country club near his college campus. His training in appropriate male deference to women enabled him to make a favorable impression with Katherine Hobs, his prospective employer, and to prompt her to schedule an “in-service interview.” “Do well and the job is yours,” said Ms. Hobs told him. dennis concludes his story in this post:)

Two days later i was placed on station [at the country club restaurant], but only assigned one table, the one that would seat Ms. Hobbs and Her three Female dining companions. As they were seated, one of the male waiters nodded in their direction and commented, “i feel sorry for you, you've got four real bitches at your table.”

Game over as far as i was concerned. i love demanding Women and started my service, greeting them warmly. i presented the menu, discussed our specials, suggesting a wine with each, then took their drink orders, committing them to memory.

i asked how each Woman wanted Her drink (i would be mixing each myself). Before leaving for the drinks i placed a small dinner bell on the table, telling them that, although I would be regularly looking in on them, they could use the bell to summon me at any time. They smiled at the idea and did make use of the bell—almost immediately as one of the Women changed Her drink order.

When I returned, i served Katherine first and then the others, each time starting with a different Woman. i conversed with the Women when they directed comments or questions; otherwise my preference was to “shut up and listen” as Joan and Sue had so often admonished me.

Lunch went well, i thought, and when it was time to leave i asked the Ladies to enjoy another cup of coffee while i gathered their coats and summoned their cars.

Katherine was pleased, very pleased, and told me so. She offered no criticisms, although i told Her that i believed that a Woman can—and should—always find fault with a man. “Men,” i told Her, “are deeply flawed.” She agreed. i added that any criticism She directed at me would be highly valued. She then told me the job was mine.

The real thrill for me was serving Women; it's impossible to overstate how much satisfaction i derived from this during my time in Ms. Hobs’ employment, although the tips given at the club were indeed generous. And most of my tips were from Women who other male staff said were “poor tippers”—they just didn't know how to treat Goddesses!

Incidentally, it was rare that i served men and then only when they were in the company of Women. My preference was to serve Women, and i could serve as many as i wanted because many of the male servers were reluctant to.

Years later Katherine confessed that the job was mine even before i did my “in-service interview”; indeed, there were no other candidates as far as She

was concerned. And She admitted a bit of guilt, too. She wanted to be served in the style i'd demonstrated at the initial interview and hiring me was one way She could get it! i worked for Her for more than three years and over that time She came to be a friend of Nancy and me.

Initially ifelt somewhat sorry for Katherine because of Her obviously overbearing husband; but my feeling sorry for Her was shortlived. i quickly learned that She really ran things at home, controlling the money and doing as She pleased. Let's just say that She fit the profile of many of the in-control Women whom Kaitlin has interviewed.

Katherine retired with Her husband to Florida. i correspond with Her around the holiday season and have had the pleasure of dining with Her when in Florida three years ago. What i'd love to do, though—and She has promised me that I can—is to serve Her and a few of Her Woman friends lunch someday. Katherine is a Goddess worthy of my adoration! i am privileged to count Her among the many Women I have served.

—d

dennis: A BENEFIT OF LEARNING TO SERVE - WORSHIPPING KATHERINE (Pt. 1)

Learning to serve not only provided me the basis for a satisfying lifestyle within the family, but gave skills that had immediate practical value.

When i returned to college after a particularly grueling weekend under Joan’s tutelage, i noticed an ad for wait staff at an upscale country club near campus. The country club had a reputation for paying staff well and for well-to-do members who generously tipped for good service. i put a brief resume together, highlighting my college work, extracurricular activities, and many of the skills i’d learned from Joan.

The next day, dressed in a black jacket, white shirt with cuff links, and a red bow tie—Joan’s influence again—i personally visited the country club and engaged the well-dressed, middle-aged receptionist.

“Excuse me Ma’am, i’d like to express my interest in the wait staff position,” i said, offering Her my resume while noting some of my skills. i expected to simply introduce myself and leave my resume, but She told me to wait. Shortly another Woman came and took over the receptionist's desk, freeing the Woman who’d been perusing my resume.

It turned out that the “receptionist” i first encountered was the Woman in charge of hiring for the position! She’d only been sitting in for the Woman who normally staffed the front desk and was appalled at the disheveled, poorly motivated students who’d come to the desk before me to ask for an application or to leave off a poorly written resume. She liked my “Excuse me, Ma'am” much more than the “Hey, Lady” She'd received from other applicants. Others thought they were dealing with administrative staff that they could talk down to; Joan and Sue had taught me that all Women deserved respect, no matter their position, and that a Woman is NEVER talked down to! EVER!

After glancing at me and my resume, She granted me an immediate interview, leading me into Her large, well-appointed office. She introduced Herself as Katherine Hobs (not her real name). She was immediately familiar to me as a Woman who regularly appeared in the society pages with Her well-to-do, but boorish-looking attorney husband. She invited me to call Her Katherine, but i would have none of it. i was in the presence of a Goddess and wanted to address Her accordingly, telling Her that i felt more comfortable addressing Her as Mrs. Hobs. She smiled and nodded Her approval, but i'd only use “Mrs.” for a few more minutes. When Her Feminism became obvious, i suggested that, in lieu of “Mrs.” i address Her as “Ms. Hobs.” She agreed. i call Her “Ms. Hobs” or “Ms. Katherine” to this day.

She motioned me to sit down on a low chair without arms next to Her desk. Perhaps the low chair was coincidence, but i suspected—and now know—that this Woman knew something about power and the impact of a low chair on the person sitting in it; i had learned of the power exchange that takes place in such a situation from Joan and Sue.

“Before we get started,” Ms. Hobs said, “may I serve you a cup of coffee or tea?” I rose and said,“I would enjoy some coffee, Ma’am, but only if I may serve myself and You as well!”

With a surprised smile, She agreed, again turning Her attention to my resume. She had a beautiful sterling silver coffee service on the credenza. Taking a clean cup and saucer, i poured coffee and placed the cup and saucer and cream and sugar on a small, but ornate tray. Placing a linen napkin over my wrist, i returned to Her desk where I added cream and sugar as She directed. i placed a linen napkin on Her desk and then the cup of coffee.

“Here you are, Ma’am, please enjoy!” i said to the stunned Woman who responded, “Our head waiter could not have done a more elegant job!”

“My pleasure, Ma’am,” I said, while thinking “Your head waiter likely wasn’t trained by an impatient Goddess with a quick temper and a leather slapper!”

Ms. Hobs motioned me to sit while She completed Her review of my resume.

When She was done She rolled Her chair in front of me and crossed Her legs. Ah, the power of shapely Female legs in a skirt, heels, and pantyhose! She was indeed intimidating;  looking down at me, She began Her questioning.

Ms. Hobs asked about my experience serving and where I had acquired it. “Working as both a servant and housekeeper for a private family,” i told Her, adding, “i can get references” – well, I hoped Joan and Sue would give me a reference! I’d included my Feminist activities on my resume, and She seemed very interested in them, asking many questions. She considered Herself a Feminist and commented that too few men were in the Movement; i agreed. She later admitted that She had been very skeptical about this part of my resume, but my being conversant on the topic quickly convinced Her otherwise. We discussed a variety of Feminist issues, our must-read Feminist books, and expressed an abhorrence of Patriarchy and a desire to see more Women ascend to leadership positions, both agreeing this would have positive impacts on society.

Then the interview got back to practical topics associated with serving. Ms. Hobs delved into the specifics of setting a table, serving drinks, presenting a wine, clearing a table, courtesies when serving Women, and so on. She was particularly interested in my serving Women since the country club had numerous Female members and spouses; at lunch two thirds of the tables were all Female. Knowing that She had problems with some of Her male wait staff when it came to serving Women, i assured Her She'd have no such issues with me.

She wanted to know specifics and mentioned a number of things i might do to show deference to Women and make Their dining experience a good one:

·         Express a willingness to serve Women, “How may i serve You Ladies?” And always follow up with good service.

·         Always use proper honorifics—Ma'am, Madame, Ladies, etc. Shockingly some of the current staff was remiss here!

·         Pull out chairs for the Ladies—basic chivalry but often not done by some current staff!

·         Engage in polite dialogue with Female diners, making suggestions, paying appropriate compliments.

·         Otherwise speak only when spoken to or when necessary to provide excellent service.

·         Look in on Female diners more regularly since many Women tended to not ask for help.

·         Serve Women first and then male diners; actually i'd never served a man before since men simply weren't served in Nancy's family.

·         Suggest that a Female guest select and approve the wine, a traditionally male undertaking.

·         Place the check in front of the Women as opposed to assuming that the male would be paying; that is, not making an erroneous assumption that Women were less able to pay.

·         Help Women after the bill was paid by doing things like getting their coats from the coat check and helping them put them on, as opposed to sending Female guests on to coat check to fend for themselves; i add a bit of unexpected service!

·         Order their car from the valet while they sipped a last cup of coffee.

And i made a suggestion that may benefit Female diners—the bell Protocol i learned in Nancy's family. i suggested that since Women were conditioned not to gesture or raise their voices that a small, elegant dinner bell be placed at all-female tables as a discreet and feminine way of summoning immediate service. Ms. Hobs loved the idea and would put it into practice.

After nearly two hours we parted with Her promising i'd hear from Her soon. In fact, when i returned to my dorm there was a message waiting, asking me to come in for an “in-service interview” in two days. i'd be serving Ms. Hobs and three of Her friends.

“Do well and the job is yours” Her message said. And i was instructed to visit the country club ahead of time to get fitted for a proper uniform—a tie and tux.

(Next: dennis appears for his in-service interview with Goddess Katherine.)

dennis: ARE THESE NOT SIGNS OF LOVE?

Regular reader and FLR blogger I’m-Hers (you can see his blog here) comments on dennis’ MORE PROTOCOLS—A GUIDE TO PROPER MALE BEHAVIOR):

Dennis, I struggle with your posts, especially in light of the fact that Mark’s posts have been filled with the understanding that male submission was for the express purpose of a better way to love the woman in one’s life. The protocols, the discipline, the expectations, the rules that you have expounded upon in this and previous posts fascinate me, but what I have failed to see with your and with Nancy’s posts in the past is “love” being a part of the equation. I’m sure you can respond and tell me that you love one another, and I do believe you must for your relationship to continue, but I sure wish for those of us that read that you’d incorporate that amongst the rules, bows, curtsies, and second-place status that males within your household reside. I don’t mean to criticize but I needed to express. Thanks

 

dennis responds:

Love is indeed in our relationship, and that relationship is a mutually fulfilling one with both of us fully accepting the roles and responsibilities we have. Doing as one is told and living for one’s Wife—is not that a sign of love? Is supporting Her career not a sign of love? Is serving Her and making Her the center of my attention, are these not signs of love? Is relieving Her of domestic duties so She can pursue a diversity of interests not a sign of love? Is sharing the many outside interests and causes we have not a sign of love? Is helping other couples who admire what we have and want to emulate our relationship not a sign of love?

These certainly are signs of love to my Wife and to me. It may seem that the rules and rituals are somehow overpowering, but you are viewing these things from the outside. From the inside i can tell you they are not overpowering—much to the contrary!  i can tell you that having some rules to follow that spell out Her expectations is a great way to ensure a tranquil household. We have gone down the path of life together and together we have gradually molded the lifestyle we have and love what we have made together. With each little thing i do for Her, with each new rule, we love each other just that much more. It is amusing to us that others question—and criticize—our lifestyle, and yet, in so many cases, our unconventional relationship endures and theirs does not.

 

What i am learning here is something that Nancy told me months ago, which is that i shouldn’t share too much of our personal relationship and interaction, instead limiting this to the close friends we do have. As always, Nancy is right.

—d

dennis: MORE PROTOCOLS—A GUIDE TO PROPER MALE BEHAVIOR

As noted in several recent posts, we have a set of rules within Nancy’s family that governs how men are to behave. The list originated with Nancy’s Grandmother, Mother and Aunts, who were all heads of household and wanted to make it clear to their men what was acceptable behavior. The basis is that women deserve respect and courtesy. The resultant list of rules, known as “The Protocols,” has grown considerably both as a result of the Women seeing the need for new rules and the men themselves making suggestions. Many outside of Female led relationships don’t understand, but men love the structure that rules provide in a relationship. Things are spelled out and as long as men toe the line, there are no issues. The Protocols are rather broad and include, but are not limited to, the following:

The Primary Protocols

·         The Protocols are the written embodiment of Female authority and are to be followed to the letter! There is no excuse for noncompliance.

·         Only Women can establish, alter, or negate The Protocols.

·         Women make the rules; men follow them.

·         men are permitted to suggest additional rules they feel would better improve their performance; women can accept, reject, or modify these as they see fit. If seen fit, the new rule becomes part of The Protocols and is extended family-wide as a means of ensuring consistent male behavior.

·         Through the journals they are required to keep, men can suggest new Protocols or enhancements to existing ones, but men are not allowed to petition for the removal or easing of any Protocol; doing so is a cause for discipline.

·         men questioning the validity of a Protocol are subject to discipline.

·         men will maintain a listing in a dedicated book of all Protocols for their reference; entries will be in ink using cursive writing.

·         The Book of Protocols will be kept in a place of honor where it is readily available; Women, of course, can consult the Book of Protocols.

·         When a new Protocol is established, men will be informed and receive appropriate instruction; they are required to enter this new Protocol into their dedicated book as well as into their daily journal. Doing this indicates they recognize their obligations under the new Protocol.

·         New Protocols will be communicated to the Women of the Family for incorporation into their Protocol Book.

·         men are expected to know The Protocols and can be questioned on them at any time.

·         men are required to understand that The Protocols are for their benefit and are to be committed to following them.

·         men are required to support other men in upholding The Protocols and correct them when necessary. A Protocol failure on the part of one man is the fault of all present and appropriate punishment or loss of privileges may follow for all

·         Women have the right and obligation to correct, reprimand, and/or administer discipline to any man violating The Protocols even if that violation is unintentional.

·         If men observe another man violating The Protocols, being disrespectful to Women, holding any of the Protocols in contempt, or behaving in any way that would be contrary to the wishes of the Women, he is obligated to bring this to the attention of the Women, whether or not the Women are family members

·         men are forbidden to discuss the personal lives, behaviors, etc., of any Woman.

·         men are obligated to discuss the personal lives, behaviors, etc., of any man to his Wife; She will determine the appropriate dissemination of information provided by Her husband

·         men are required to support other men in upholding The Protocols and to correct them when necessary. A Protocol failure on the part of one man is the fault of all present and appropriate punishment or loss of privileges will follow for all.

 

Everyday Protocols

·         men are to speak only when spoken to or when asked for a comment.

·         men must address women with appropriate courtesy—“Yes, Ma am!” or in whatever way a woman prefers, “Yes, Aunt Jane,” “No, Mrs. Smith,” “Madame!”

·         men must respond immediately when summoned by a Woman and present themselves for service with a “Yes, Ma am” and a stoop and bow.

·         men must wear an apron when doing housework and at any time they are serving women.

·         men must learn how each Woman wants Her tea, coffee, or whatever Her preferred drink and always be prepared to serve it to Her whether She is in residence or visiting.

·         men must serve tea, coffee, and drinks using the established formal method; casual service is not appropriate and will not be tolerated.

·         men must learn the proper way of lighting a cigarette for a Woman.

·         men must maintain, at their own expense, an ample supply of the preferred cigarettes for the Women in the household and for Female family visitors and friends.

·         men are permitted to smoke only when given express permission by a Woman; men cannot ask permission to smoke no matter the circumstances; it is a privilege that must be unilaterally extended by a Woman.

·         men are permitted to drink only when given express permission by a Woman; men cannot ask permission to drink no matter the circumstances; it is a privilege that must be unilaterally extended by a Woman.

·         Since men have a primary duty of service, their drinking is restricted to personal time when specifically permitted.

·         men are expected to send, at their own expense, personalized birthday and holiday cards to Women within the family.

·         men are not permitted to answer the phone, as this detracts from their domestic duties; if a Woman answers the phone and determines that a man can take a call, she will direct him to a phone and has the option of staying on the line to monitor that call. In no circumstance should a man be on the phone for more than five minutes, no matter the reason.

·         Housework is the responsibility of the man and he will perform it to the satisfaction of the Women on the schedule they establish.

·         Women manage the finances and control the money.

·         men should keep a diary of their activities, suggestions, Protocol changes, and of key dates, anniversaries, names of boyfriends, cigarette, drink, perfume, preferences, etc.; diaries are not private and can be read by the Women at any time.

Again, this is not a complete list but representative of The Protocols in place in Nancy’s family; these may be used as a model for a similar effort by others.

–dennis