DENNIS: CHECKLIST FOR CLEANING A LIVING ROOM

(Note from Mark Remond: In response to a request from “Surrendered Husband” and others, Dennis has supplied his “52 Things” list. “The list,” he notes, “speaks to our own situation and our own household so some [readers] will surely dismiss some of the items. We have lists for other tasks as well, but neither Nancy’s mother, Sue, nor i are of the mind to release these.”)

52 Things to Cleaning a Living Room

The living room is a focal point of the home for family and guests. Thus, it needs to be immaculately clean and well organized—and, in the case of an FLR, that of course means by the “man of the house,” who performs all domestic duties. The women of Nancy's family put this list together as a way of formally communicating what is required to properly clean a living room. It seems that at one point the male definition of cleaning a living room differed significantly from what the women thought it entailed. So, to align things with their requirements and to minimize the need for the women to get involved in housekeeping issues, this list was devised. It is thorough but NOT an all-

encompassing list. From time to time the women will feel the need to add to this list or to change things; that is, of course, their prerogative. After it was originally put together, the women of Nancy's family got the men together and went through the list, item by item, showing them exactly what was required. To aid the men’s learning, the list wasn't handed out; rather the men had to write it down for themselves. I encountered this list soon after I started going home with Nancy for weekends with her family, but that's another story.

Note that, taken together, the 52 items define a thorough cleaning of the living room, of the sort that takes place every three-four weeks or as the woman-in-charge stipulates. This is NOT to say that the living room needs attention only every three-four weeks. Much to the contrary, the living room needs to be cleaned to some degree on a DAILY basis. Thus the gentleman homemaker will give the living room his careful attention by including it in his daily routine. So, on to the 52 points:

1. The living room is cleaned EVERY DAY
2. In the interest of efficiency bring all the cleaning tools and other items you will need to complete a daily cleaning; YOU are responsible for acquiring your own cleaning tools! A lack of supplies or cleaning tools is not an excuse for not doing assigned tasks! AND an apron is mandatory; it instills a proper attitude and focus
3. Look over the living room; is anything out of place or been moved, a chair or table, perhaps? If so, put the items where they belong
4. Check liquor cabinet is stocked with liquors, glasses, etc. Replenish as needed.
5. Look over the picture frames or other wall hangings; dust and straighten them as needed
6. Rearrange the decorative pillows placed on the sofa and chairs; whether they were moved or not; an enlightened gentleman will see the value in his doing so
7. Check the flower vases; if the live flowers are past their prime, discard them and remove the vase. Make a note to replace the live flowers no later than the next day
8. Check and water the potted plants
9. Ensure that coasters are clean and returned to their holder
10. Check and rearrange the silk flowers; refresh the arrangement periodically; an enlightened gentleman will see the value in his doing so
11. Look over the window treatments; are they hanging correctly? If not, fix them! If you are cleaning the living room at the start of the day, open the drapes before starting; if you are cleaning the living room at the end of the day, close them when you're finished
12. Gather and remove cups, glasses, saucers, drinks, bottles, plates, etc. Remove these items properly, using your tray
13. If sweaters or coats have been left in the living room, hang them
14. If shoes have been left in the living room, return them to the wearer's closet after cleaning
15. Tend to the coffee table and end tables. Dust and remove any spots, smudges, or spills.
16. Replace all ashtrays on a daily basis; empty, remove, wash the ashtrays you replaced; after cleaning return these ashtrays to the cupboard
17. Ensure that there are matches in place for the benefit of smokers; match books should be located on the table with covers sprung open; match books with any matches removed are unacceptable and should be replaced
18. Discard the contents of the candy dish on a daily basis; wash the dish and replace it with a new one with fresh items. The items should vary day-to-day so as to present a variety to the women of the house and their guests
19. Locate and return the TV and DVD remotes to their places; check that the remotes function; replace batteries if necessary
20. Remove and properly store any CDs and/or DVDs
21. Inspect the TV screen; clean if necessary
22. Return magazines to the magazine rack. Ensure that the magazines in the rack are arranged by magazine name and date, most recent on top
23. Check that lamps are functioning; immediately replace any burnt-out bulbs
24. Ensure that the ceiling fan is properly functioning
25. Carefully inspect for any spills and spots on the rugs; spot clean and dry as necessary; use a blotting motion in caring for spots or spills; redo and redo again if the spot doesn't come out the first time
26. Dusting – go through the living room with a duster, addressing the furniture, shelves, tables, and chairs
27. Dust the hardwood floor around the area rug
28. Wipe door knobs and switch plates
29. Vacuum – Vacuum high-traffic areas of the living room on a daily basis; go
    
    over these areas at least twice to ensure appropriate cleaning
30. Vacuum S-L-O-W-L-Y! The vacuum cleaner is more effective that way
31. Check the sofa and chairs for spills; spot clean if necessary
32. Fluff the cushions on the sofa and chairs; vacuum if necessary
33. Using a duster with an extension clear the crown molding all around the room to eliminate any dust or cobwebs
34. Move furniture a section at a time to allow dusting of baseboards and chair
    
    rail; repeat until the entire living room rug has been cleaned in this way
35. Use a crevice tool to vacuum close to base boards and other tight spots; upright vacuums just don't seem to be able to get close enough
36. With furniture moved thoroughly, vacuum. This means going over the area three times in two perpendicular directions and doing so S-L-O-W-L-Y!
37. Sprinkle baking soda or carpet freshener over the area of the rug just vacuumed; wait a few minutes and vacuum again
38. Thoroughly dust the tables and chairs, being careful to get in, around, and under; pay particular attention to decorative details in the furniture that can collect dust
39. After cleaning tables and chairs, and eliminating any smudges, apply furniture polish and buff to an appropriate shine
40. Thoroughly clean sofa and chair cushions, vacuuming, spot cleaning, and if necessary washing or having professionally cleaned – professional cleaning is ONLY with the approval of the woman-in-charge
41. Vacuum the sofa and chairs thoroughly front, back, inside and out
42. Thoroughly dust the TV stand and its components
43. Thoroughly dust bookcases. This means removing books from the cases a few at a time and dusting them as well as their shelves
44. Clean lamps and lamp shades; if you have the woman's confidence, she may allow you to replace the lampshades with some of your own choosing
45. Carefully remove and dust knickknacks, noting exactly where they were located in the display case, tables, bookcases, etc. Return the knickknacks to their exact previous location.
46. Take down all window treatments and clean and wash as appropriate. If you have the confidence of the woman to choose window treatments, do so and replace the ones that were hanging; otherwise, ask the woman-in-charge to make a selection
47. Wash windows inside and out; wash each window a minimum of two times
48. Clean ventilation, heating and cooling grates and registers
49. Ensure that doors are thoroughly dusted, including the tops of door frames; often overlooked; this is the first area to be inspected and she WILL inspect!
50. Clean the downstairs powder room/guest bathroom every day. The powder
    
    room is considered an extension of the living room. This is an on-your-knees cleaning that includes toilet, sink, floors, and supplies
51. Periodic professional cleaning is required for carpets, drapes, and upholstery. Consult with the woman-in-charge if you feel such services are needed; be prepared to justify your opinion
52. Work with the woman-in-charge to review the furniture arrangement in the living room to see if she wants to make any changes; do as she directs