Guest Post: Wife Worship & Female Superiority, Part 2

(Continuing the two-part guest post from “Beckie,” who describes, in a series of emails to me, her leading role as a wife in an FLR.—Mark Remond)

Guest Post: Wife Worship & Female Superiority, Part 2, by Beckie

Mark,

Thank you for this post [“Au876 on Financial Control, Part 1"]. It has given me refreshing thoughts. I referred this post to a couple of my friends to read and consider implementing some of the ideas.

I agree that financial control for the wife is the most important part of the marriage and solidifies her (my) control. This was hard for me to manage at first, but now I would not have it any other way.

I opened my own checking account a few years ago when I went back to work after having our last child. After reading this I thought it a good idea to close our joint account my husband pays bills out of. I talked with him and told him I would like for him to deposit his paycheck into my private account. I will start to pay all the bills and he will not see anything of his paycheck. He has a debit card he uses when he wants to get something for himself; he will no longer have access to that. He had questions and doubts, but I told him the decision is final and permanent.

After that conversation, my stomach was churning, maybe with some fear, but mostly with excitement. Total financial control over your husband is many times more powerful than control over everything else. I walked away with a real high, like on drugs.

I will not be giving him any allowance like others do. He has a blue-collar job, and brown bags it every day, so he doesn't need money for lunches. He is to have $10 in his wallet if anything comes up, and needs to tell me when it does so I can replenish it. If he needs to buy anything for the house or yard, he is to ask for my debit card. I am sure I will have to make minor adjustments to this as they come up.
Of course he wasn't happy when I told him of this. But afterward he said his happiness isn't important, his only happiness is to see me happy. Which I am. When done, I told his to return to his chores. It gives me “butterflies” in my belly when I tell him that.

—Beckie

Mark,

Thank you for your response. And thank for sharing this with your wife. I felt uncomfortable sending it to a man, but most female led relationship blogs by women are too much kink, dominant, male hating, and I don't want to be involved in that.
My story is “perfect-world”-based, of course. Are our boys always obedient and worshipful? Yeaaaa...right! As they say, life happens. They need to be reminded who they are. The way our daughters and I act sometimes, my husband and son must wonder sometimes what is so superior about females. Female superiority is natural, but we have a lot to learn about it.

Women are advancing in the workplace in pay and promotions. But most wives would still prefer not to have to work. I work part-time a few hours a week mostly for the interaction of the people there. My husband earns enough that I don't have to work. Would your wife prefer to not have to work full-time? I would encourage you to get a part-time job weekends so she could “kick up her feet” and do more for herself. Unfortunately in our economy today, too many wives have to work, though many find their jobs fulfilling.

I know how your wife feels with an egalitarian nature. A wife who understands female superiority means realizing your husband is inferior, and women have a hard time thinking of their husbands in a negative term like inferior. But the facts I laid out for you in my story give no other option. Once your wife sees herself as superior, that will allow her to accept your worship. Most husbands today understand, even if subconsciously, that they are inferior to their wives.

You say my husband is a lucky man. He has to obey even when he disagrees. He comes home from a hard day’s work (where they don't have A/C!) and, after taking a shower, starts supper, cleans after supper and does other chores. He is no longer allowed to watch TV (takes his focus away from focusing on my desires, and takes too long to get it back), has to be in bed by 10 p.m. (works 6:30 a.m. – 3 p.m.). After working all week, never sees or has access to any of the money he earns. He has accepted all this to worship me. He admits lucky is the last thing he is. He does it for me. I am the lucky one.

I can enjoy myself doing something I love and come home to a hot-cooked meal. The guys wait till us girls start to eat and they take what is left over. I have the evening to enjoy with the kids, watch something on TV, or go out with some girlfriends and come home late and not have to explain anything to him. I can sleep late and wake up to fresh coffee, he has to put on another pot when he leaves for work. I can spend money on whatever I want (within my budget). He occasionally has to work a Saturday. That allows me to buy something special that I show him so he knows what his overtime bought me; he specifically requested I do this. I don't want to discuss our sex life, but I pursue it when I want it, not him. And I am worshiped. “Lucky” is not the same at all as “worshiped.” No, I don't consider men in an FLR to be lucky. To be a woman knowing she is superior is special.

You have a good site, but you need to have female perspectives of what it is like to be worshiped.

—Beckie

Mark,

Yes, you may use my (real-life) story for your post, as long as you change the ages a little, and any other personal information I may have in there. And feel free to share with your wife, this is more important for all women to understand.

[You write] "...this is not an intellectual exercise, or a game, but real life." Most of what is on the Internet is not real life. Many (most) of the commenters on your site I am sure are not real. I wonder how many who talk about their wives are actually married. You are right, this is real life. I was encouraged to start a blog about us, but I really don't have any interest. I would run out of things to write about after a week.

When I talked about all my husband has to obey and do, I need to clarify a few things. I do some of the housework, the things I find more pleasing. I cook dinner 2-3 times a week, certain foods I am great at, and he is great at other meals. I also clean our bedroom (since he works early) and run the sweeper; he does the rest. As for the 10 p.m. bedtime, he has to get up early for work so he always went to bed around then. I just made the 10 p.m. a rule so he has to make sure his chores are done by then.

—Beckie

Mark,

I can understand how you have a hard time with being consistent, you were raised in a society where women were considered equal to men and were expected to share or do more of the chores than their husbands. I don't think you have accepted female superiority as a fact yet, though you want to. If you did and truly worshiped your wife, you would have no problem after you came home from work and started in on dinner and your chores. You need to set a good example for your children, and your wife will quickly accept her role to be worshiped.

In the past, men were always required to work 12 hours a day in hard labor 6 days a week. Farmers worked in their fields and barns from early morning till late at night 7 days a week to provide for their wives and children. You have the comfort of your wife's home to continue your work before you need to go to bed. Why are men in our society reluctant to do their job?
—Beckie

Mark,

Hopefully, this will get people to understand and accept female superiority as a fact of life. One point I would like to add. The last few years, women have been striving for equality in all things. We are not equal, we are superior. There are a few roles in life women should not be permitted to be involved in. These would be safety forces (police and fire) and military combat. It is the role of men to always protect women. In dangerous situations, men will put others at risk to protect a woman. In history men always went to war to protect women. World War I was the last war where they tried to protect civilian death. In the Civil War, over 500,000 men died and only 50 women. These 50 women who died were too many; it would have been acceptable if thousands more men died if it meant the 50 women didn't have to. Women should at any and all costs be protected from harm.

I understand this is a hard saying, especially in today's culture. But go back to our grandfathers, the “greatest generation,” and WWII. Ask those men the same question. Ask the men who survived the Civil War if it would have been acceptable for them to die if it meant women could have been saved. Ask those men on the Titanic who encouraged women to enter the lifeboats, knowing the kind of death that awaited them in the icy waters. Men understood the importance of women and protecting them at the cost of their own lives. A century ago, men understood and followed term "women and children first."

In the military, men have been trained and are willing to suffer painful death to protect all females. The military teaches men how to honor and respect women. Since the end of the draft in the early 70's, males show little respect and honor; men used to open doors for us, and used to stand when a superior female entered a room. You never see that anymore. I may be a pacifist and against war, but I believe the draft should be reinstated and all males from age 18 serve 4 years in the military.

--Beckie

(End Part Two)
*

Guest Post: Wife Worship & Female Superiority, Part 1

(I am honored to present this blog’s first-ever guest posting from “Beckie,” a wife in an FLR who has commented here in the past. The following two-part post is taken from several emails she sent me. I found her rationale for wife worship and female superiority that she presented in these emails so original, so well articulated and persuasive, that I asked her if she would consider allowing me to share her ideas with my readers, female and male. To my delight, she agreed, as long as a few personal identifiers were altered. Having done that, I am able to offer Beckie’s words verbatim. I hope you will enjoy her thoughts and benefit from them, as I have.—Mark Remond)

Wife Worship and Female Superiority by Beckie, Part 1

Mark,

Thank you for hosting this site on wife worship. Being worshiped is not something I, nor any normal female, would want or desire. It is a male fantasy. But I learned something along the way.

I have a wonderful husband and marriage. He is not what I would consider submissive. He has always been the head of our home. We made joint decisions, but he was my protector. I was a stay-at-home-mom for many years. I did all the chores around the home. What I liked about him was he always wanted to help clean the dishes with me—some together time. He wanted to help with the laundry or cleaning at times because the children kept me busy during the day, and he thought I needed to kick up my feet in the evening even though he worked hard all day, too. He often brought me little gifts to time to surprise me.

He told me a couple of times he just enjoyed worshiping me and wanted to continue to court me like when we dated. I loved his devotion, but WORSHIP ME? I was not better than he, I was his equal. I was not worthy of his worship!

From the time we were married, we believed in equality, making joint decisions. Often when we were not in agreement, we would argue. I always wondered how equality is supposed to work when two people disagree. But after arguing, almost without fail, any time I thought a different way, he would go along with what I thought. I began to realize even though he was the head of the family, I was the one really making all the decisions. I considered telling him that I would make decisions from then on, but I was afraid of damaging our relationship and that he would be upset or hurt. Or never ask me my opinion again. The thought that I would make him OBEY ME was never thought of.

I never wanted to call myself a feminist, but I did believe women were to be equal to men in everything. They should have equal pay, girls should have equal opportunities in school, women should be equal in politics and government, etc.

But a strange thing has been happening. We are no longer equal.

* A WSJ article recently showed younger women are now paid MORE than their male peers.

* Girls are exceeding boys in school. Almost 90% of valedictorians are girls, a majority of students in spelling bees are girls, college students are now almost 60% female and growing.

* Recently another U.S. Supreme Court member was added, making three females. Since this is a lifetime post, we have to wait till other male members quit or die, but I am sure in time it will be a majority (if not 100%) female. More women are being elected to office every year.

Women are only wanting equality with what men have always had. What is that strange thing I mentioned? Whenever we rise up and become equal, we always continue past equality! These facts, and many more, prove we are not equal to men. Females are superior in every aspect of our lives.

* Females are superior physically. We have a much more complex body. We have a complex reproductive system. We live longer than men. We are physically much more attractive, so that men desire us, court us, and seek us.

* Females are much more complex emotionally.

* Females are much more advanced intellectually and have more intuition (understanding without apparent effort, a keen and quick insight).

* Females are far better at relationships. They can express themselves to their friends, they can have several friends, male and female. Males have a hard time making friends and can never share their feelings.

Women are still thinking they need to be equal, and that being superior to men is wrong. But as I related in our marriage, equality is impossible. One side will eventually become superior and the other inferior.

But what woman wouldn’t want to have a marriage where what she said was final, where her husband would obey her and desire her? What wife wouldn’t want a home where the housework, cleaning, laundry, washing dishes, scrubbing the bathroom, were her husband’s job, where she would be free to pursue more fulfilling interests? How many would enjoy those more fulfilling pursuits during the day while he is at work earning money for her to enjoy? What wife wouldn’t love to have control of his paycheck and manage all the finances? What female wouldn’t love to be worshiped as a goddess?

Most women can’t see far enough that they are superior. They have had to submit to men through all history, and they can only hope for equality. Men have had the upper hand even though they are inferior and they know it, they instinctively prevented women from being equal because men know that women’s superiority would then overtake all aspects of their life. If men only could understand that female superiority would be the ideal for them. Men are created for worship. Women are created to receive worship.

As your site shows, there are many men who desire to worship women. Most men worship women in one way or another without necessarily using the term. But how many women say they want to worship a man? None that I know. In order for females to be worshiped, they naturally have to be superior to men. If we are to be worshiped, are we not goddesses? Who would ever call a man a “god”? That would be blasphemous.


I believe our society is moving quickly now to female superiority in all areas. Yes, all females are superior; they are born that way, it is not something they learn—though we need to learn that we are superior. Few women understand that. Just as the church teaches that we are born sinful because man and woman sinned in the Garden of Eden, this is something we find hard to comprehend. It is hard for women to understand how we are born superior, it is just in our nature. Men understand that much better.

But not all females are to be worshiped. This is for marriage. The husband is to “love, worship, and obey” his wife. Her protection, her well-being, her desires, her pleasure, and her comfort are his primary concerns, and he would, if called upon to do so, lay down his life for her.

So where are we at today? A few years ago, my husband and I sat down and I told him if I was going to make the decisions, I demanded he obey me without question. Do I make mistakes? More than I wish. But my husband takes the blame for them and the punishment; this is his worship of his goddess!

Housework: He does almost all of it. It is his job, to be expected of him. I do not micromanage him, or stand over him telling him what to do. He knows his chores and does them well. I offered to help with some, but he told me I didn’t need to bother with mundane housework when I should be pursuing more fulfilling things. I work part time 3 days a week and enjoy my work and the people I work with. I work with a community theater 1-2 times a week, I was in theater a lot in college and it’s good to be involved again. I am with the kids in the evening helping with homework. Once in a while I will take our girls out to the mall or someplace while my husband and son do the dishes and other chores.

Finances: With my part-time job, I opened my private checking account. Since then I wondered why I needed two accounts, and recently decided to close our joint checking account. My husband now deposits his paycheck into my account. He is to keep $10 on him at all times and let me know if he spends any so I can give him more. He gets no allowance. After closing the one account I have started paying bills and managing all finances. We use MS Money so he still doesn’t have access to any money himself.

Children: We have 2 daughters 16 and 11, and a son 14. Any expression of wife worship is hidden from them. But as a family we do show female superiority. My husband and son both open doors for us, and both stand whenever my daughters or I enter a room and remain till we are seated. The same holds for dinner; they stand till we are seated and allow us to fill our plates and start eating before they fill their plates. Our son helps his father clean the table and dries the dishes. A few months ago, they discussed if our son would want to do something special for his sisters to show his awareness of their female superiority. He chose to make their beds and straighten their rooms every morning. The girls are not allowed to tell him what to do, but may ask him politely to do something or get her something; he is not required to obey but he takes their requests as an order and still obeys. His father has been a good mentor.

I know this has been a long letter. But I felt the need to write it out and tell someone, it has been building up in me. Every family is different with different ways to do things. Everything here sounds like we have it down perfect, but we have problems and daily issues come up to deal with. But female superiority is only natural and is showing up more every day. Someday it will be accepted by everyone.

—Beckie

(End Part One; to be continued...)

Au876 on Financial Control, Part 2

(Continuing with a “best of” compilation from a wife-led husband who, at the turn of this century, was the mainstay of Lady Misato’s original Yahoo! Husbands’ forum. This two-parter focuses in on what Au sees as the advantages, and disadvantages, of a husband surrendering all financial control to his wife. I must say, reading these diary-type admissions came as a shock to me all those years ago. Here was a husband for whom wife-worship, or a wife-led marriage, was no fantasy, but daily reality. It was not a matter of surrendering physical control to some fantasy domina for an hour, but total control over all aspects of his daily life to the woman he loved, honored, worshipped and obeyed.)

Au876 on Financial Control, Part 2:

Did He Give Up Control, or Did She Simply Take It?

In our relationship I never have any thoughts now about what control I will give her or not. I can't recall that I ever did. She took control and I learned that submitting to her was pleasurable, rewarding and fulfilled me as a man.

A few of us have posted saying we draw the line at financial control. My wife did not give me that choice. She took financial control, she did not ask for it. However, if she controls you and you control the money, then that means she has simply delegated this to you. The wife should take control, control of all matters and the husband should obey her in all matters. She then decides what non-supervised responsibilities he is capable of and can handle as well as responsibilities that require supervision. And she gives them to him at her pleasure. All issues of control are for the woman to decide and the man to accept. We have to remember all this is about doing what our wife wants, not what we want. If she wants you to handle the finances, then that is a duty you owe her.

And you are right about the financial control. No, she didn't use physical force. I always have a choice. But if I choose against her will, it means no sexual release for six months. I have resisted twice and suffered through that. I did not resist her financial control. She is much more capable than I am and we are much better off with her in control. I understand what you are alluding too and all relationships will be different. However in my opinion it is the Wife who decides what the path for the husband will be. He can't "top from the bottom". We can discuss it, wonder about it, and use our intellect to create but in the end it is the Wife who lays down the path for the husband to follow.

Power of Attorney

You may want to consider a power of attorney. All couples should have one each for the other anyway. Both of us have signed one. I have a complete power of attorney to act in all matters on behalf of my wife. She has the same from me. We keep them in a safety deposit box. Should she become disabled, I can act on her behalf, and, of course, the same is true in reverse.
Yes, I could get the power of attorney and do as I pleased even while she is in good health. But I never would touch it without her permission or unless she became disabled. If I did, it would be the last thing I did as a married man. But it protects both of us should the need arise.

As between you and your wife, I do suggest you execute a power of attorney in her favor over all of your affairs. This gives her absolute and complete control. She can use it as she sees fit and never needs your permission for anything she wants to do. You should also be getting everything into her name alone. But before doing so, you may want to check with an attorney to make sure (depending on your assets) that you don't lose your estate exception in the event of your death because you don't have anything in your estate. That can be worked out, especially if your wife has power of attorney over any assets in your name.

Who Pays?

If we go to a fast food place, she studies the menu overhead a second, tells me what she wants, hands me money (usually a ten or twenty) and goes to take a seat. I order, get the food and bring to her. I give her the change. Sometimes she tells me to keep it or at least a portion of it. Like if she gave me a twenty and the meal was seven dollars or so, she may just take the ten and let me have the rest.
When we go to any type sit-down-and-order place to eat, we almost always pay by credit card. I take the check, look it over, add on the tip and give it to my wife who signs and gives it back to me.

As for ordering, I take my cue from her. We study the menu together. The waiter/waitress of course always asks for her order first. She gives her order. Sometimes she goes ahead and orders for me with no comment. Sometimes she asks me if I want her to order for me. I have never dared say no in front of the waiter.
Sometimes she places her order and stops. The waiter turns to me and I place my order. About half the time when I do this she will say something like, “I don't think you will like that, why don't you try so and so?” If she says that, I try what she suggests because I know she wants to sample it. If we are having wine, she always orders that.
We have been doing it this way for years. Any time we eat out, it is a pleasure for me, no cooking, no cleaning up and etc. I just take my cue from her and go with it. If we are in a real fancy upbeat place, especially if it is French or something, she always orders for both of us after we have looked over the menu together. I have a hard time even understanding some of the menu items and am grateful she does this. She knows what I like.
All this seems very normal to me. I am certainly comfortable with it. The main thing for me is to do what she wants and be a gentleman about it.

Advice and Encouragement

Until you get married, it is my opinion you should not give your girlfriend control of your finances. It is ok, even good, for her to be made fully aware of them and even to approve or disapprove of expenditures. You can heed her advice or not. But if you want to do it, then do it. If she is after your money, she will get it and dispose of you soon enough. Be prepared for that. It could really hurt. For now maybe it is best that you let her teach and guide you in financial matters. Try your best to abide by her advice and wishes. Learn from her. When you get married give yourself and all you have to her control. Once you get married it (in my opinion) changes. If she wants control of the finances, she should have it. I have never regretted (well not true) my wife having absolute financial control. It gives her a tremendous amount of power over me but I trust her and I respect the power she has. I would not want it any other way. If she takes over, I hope it is something you really want. Believe me, it will give her control that you may at times wish she didn't have and it will put you at her mercy more than you know. But, overall, I firmly recommend it.
Do you have plans to turn over financial control to her? Looks like all the other husbands here still have some if not all control in this area except for me. However, I strongly agree with all the comments that say you should handle them as your wife wants to, not as you want to.

Surrendering Too Much, Going Too Far?

All my money goes directly into her personal checking account. I have no access to it. In our state if a spouse dies the other gets a year’s support from the estate without the worry of probate or anything else.
About signing your house over to your wife. You may be able to do that without a lawyer. All you need is a quick claim deed. Sign it over then go to the court house and have it recorded. When I had to sign mine over to my wife, she did have a lawyer friend of hers provide her with the deed. I signed it and we both went to the courthouse to record it. It has been several years but it was not difficult or expensive at all. I know a few on this site disagree, but I think the wife having full and final financial control of all assets is very important. You can't be fully submissive if you can control any aspect of the finances. It is a tough thing to give up but the feeling of being completely under her authority is well worth it.

I think if I had been "screwed" by an ex-wife or two, I would certainly take steps to protect myself. I also acknowledge my wife could "screw" me. If she does I know I wouldn't let any other woman do it again if I could help it. But I have total trust in her, total. How do you handle your finances or does your wife control that also? From what I have seen posted I am one of the few men here who seem to have no actual control in this area and am forced to live on whatever allowance my wife decides is best for me.
Yes, she could take everything we have. In my mind it all belongs to her anyway. She is free to do as she pleases with it. If she took it all and left me, I could survive. I trust her to do right by me. If she doesn't, it is because she doesn't want to. That is her decision. I will live by it.

Let’s face it, odds are you will die before your wife, most men do. You do not want her to be alone with no experience in finances. Even men who are not man enough to submit to their wives should arrange to have them in control of the money or at least equal partners so she will be able to carry on.
Yes, money is power. If your wife controls it, she has that power. You have to trust her. I do. But she does as she pleases with the money. Most of the time I don't even know what that is. My biggest financial problem is trying to figure a way to get an extra $5 a week for my allowance and to avoid her reducing it if I fail to please her. I consider myself lucky to have such a small problem.

Final Thoughts

If your wife does not want complete financial control, you should not force it. The idea is to do what she wants. But regardless, it should evolve to where you don't spend any money other than your allowance without her approval. Meanwhile, she should evolve to the point where she knows she need not ask or seek your permission for anything.

We have to remember all this is about doing what our wife wants, not what we want. If she wants you to handle the finances, then that is a duty you owe her.

If your wife wants you to handle the finances, then your doing so is part of your submission to her will. In any marriage one partner is usually better suited to handling the money and that partner should be the one who has most of the responsibility (provided the wife wants it that way). If your wife wants you to handle the finances, you should.

I personally don't think any freedom you give up to favor your wife and increase your service to her should be left to fantasy. Move forward in your submission and don't be afraid to give her all the control she wants.

(End of Two-Part Posting)

Au876 on Financial Control, Part 1

There have been a couple of comments from readers strongly agreeing with the previous posting, A Short Course in Wife Worship by Au876, especially Au’s thoughts on the benefits of the wife assuming total financial control in a wife-led marriage.

There was Allen, who commented, “Her whole personality changed when she took over all financial matters, and she is really good at it. This is the part that helped her enjoy her leadership in our marriage; even more then when I do all household chores.”

And Anonymous [wife] who wrote: “I agree that financial control for the wife is the most important part of the marriage and solidifies her (my) control. This was hard for me to manage at first, but now I would not have it any other way.”

My experience was exactly like Allen’s, and I imagine (though I have not asked her) that my wife is very much of Anonymous wife’s opinion. As I wrote once in an FLR blog (re “Stripping Hubby of Independence”):

“I certainly remember, as I took the steps at work to have my direct-deposit go into her private account, that this was one of those steps from fantasy into reality, one of those major turning points. And so it has proved. For years I had read about the ‘power exchange’ inherent in FLRs or Wife-Led Marriages. Well, now I know what it means. I no longer look at my beloved bride the way I did. Whenever I think of her, whenever she is in the room or speaks, there is an aura of power that surrounds her. And, yes, it is sexy. And she knows it, too.”

So, because there seem to be some very strong reactions to this particular preachment (and no doubt some of them will be negative, which is fine), and because Au876 was my mentor in taking this step, I thought I’d post more of his writings on the topic of financial control.

Because they were posted over a period of a couple years to Lady Misato’s original Yahoo! husbands’ forum, there is a certain amount of repetition. Think of it as reinforcement.

And now, Au876 on Financial Control, Part 1:

How It All Started

My wife didn't start with financial control. But once she had more or less taken charge of most aspects of our marriage (with my encouragement), she did take over financial control. Once she did that, probably for the first time I felt completely under her control. It was both scary and exciting. Now it is just accepted. Looking back, it was about 10 years ago our power transfer started. My wife opened her own checking account and announced her paycheck would go there from now on. Since I couldn't write a check on that account, we agreed she'd take over the bill paying (my check went to our joint account).
Less than a year later she closed our joint account and told me to arrange for direct deposit of my check to her account. This was a problem for me, but she finally convinced me it was the thing to do. She began making all the financial decisions, often with no input from me.
I was surprised how at much better off we were. She put me on a small allowance. I found myself stress-free from money worries. My biggest concern was to save money from my allowance to buy her a surprise present now and then.
Money like sex is power. I began taking on household chores to gain her favor and thus hopefully earn a bonus. After I did a chore two or three times, it suddenly became “my chore” and if I didn't do it she might cut my allowance or she might refuse sex, saying I had not done my chores.
Strive hard to live within the allowance she sets. Strive to save some back so you can buy her a present now and then. It may not be much, but she will know you had to cut back on your own pleasures to afford it.

It was good to hear your wife has taken over the money and checkbook. My wife gradually took charge of our finances over a period of time. The day she had me close our joint checking account, deposit all the money into her personal account and have my paycheck deposited there was a real turning point in our relationship. Us guys seem to equate money with power. I was put in the position of having to ask her for money every time I needed some. I really felt her power especially when she said no.
She put me on an allowance sometime later she said to keep me from bugging her and to teach me how to manage what I had better. It was actually a relief and ego builder for me to have some freedom even if the amount was not much.

Living Under Her Financial Control

I did control the finances in the beginning. However, my wife wanted control and took control. There are times I wish it were not so but it is also comforting to be under the security of her control.

My wife does have absolute control of all our finances. There are times I wish she didn't and it puts me under her control to a large degree. However, she is the better investor and we are much better off than when I was handling matters. We are aware of the tax situations and have set things up to take advantage of all the breaks. In addition I am her major financial advisor. In fact ,she insists I study and learn so she can ask questions and get answers without having to do research herself. I also pay all the bills, balance her accounts monthly and keep all the records for her review. All she does is sign the checks.

It is a good first step for your wife to open her own account. You cannot truly submit as long as you have any control or power with the finances. When she has total control of the family finances, you will both feel the relationship has reached what you desire.
My wife now has total control of all our assets. My check goes by direct deposit into her account, and I am given an allowance, which she sets and adjusts as she sees fit. I am not allowed nor do I ever question any decisions she makes about finances (or anything else for that matter).

I cannot do anything financially without my wife's signing off on it. She can do as she pleases and needs no consent from me. However, she insists I stay abreast of the financial markets, be prepared to give her good opinions when asked and be able to discuss matters with her.

Don't be afraid to give her complete and absolute control. Abide by her decisions. Do not argue with her. Do as much of the mundane paperwork as she wants you to do. Never question her but strive to make her decisions work just as you would do for your boss where you work.
She should and must be free to do as she pleases with the finances. She is in control. Adore her and work for her. Let her know you appreciate her.
Assure her you will not question anything she does and her decisions on financial matters are final. If she wants your opinion she can ask for it and she knows that. But when you give your opinion, give it humbly and be glad she has asked for it. Never, never get upset when she does not use your opinion.

If you are still working on a budget, listen to her carefully. If there are any areas of dispute, then her idea, word or suggestions should be final. In the future if you wish to purchase a "big" item, discuss it with her and LISTEN to her then abide by what she thinks.
My wife uses me a lot for counseling on money matters. As a matter of fact I have to stay abreast of all sorts of financial areas so I can give her good counsel. My job is to give her the best counsel I can (when she ask for it). Hers is to make the decisions.
If she doesn't ask, I am to remain silent. Last night she got a call from a political party asking for money. She told them she'd have to think about it and to call back next week. When she got off the phone I volunteered that I didn't think we should give them any money. She looked at me hard and said "I don't recall asking for your opinion". Now in some households that may start an argument. But I felt dressed down. I had overstepped my bounds and she let me know she didn't appreciate it. I offered my apology and spent the rest of the evening catering to her even more than normal.

I am a strong believer in the idea that the person who controls the money has the real power, be it spoken or not. Yet wifeworship is not about power. It is about service to your wife, yielding to her will, tending to her needs and most of all obeying her at all times. Well, I guess if you do that for her, it means she does have the power. I for one enjoy my wife being in control of all aspects of my life. It is easy to worship her. She demands it, expects it, and has ways to enforce it.

Serving as Her Financial Secretary

There is a lot work in handling the finances. The bookkeeping, bill-paying check-writing, record savings and researching for investments. Your wife may want to handle all or part of this herself. However, you can serve as her financial secretary in whatever capacity she wants. I get all the bills ready for payment, write the checks for my wife and, after she signs them, I prepare the bills for mailing. I do everything except sign the checks.
If she doesn't want me to see a bill, I don't see it, but there is no reason for her to hide one from me. I consider myself to be well informed on financial matters. My wife often has me gather information on an investment she may be considering or do other research, such as comparing prices. She often asks my opinion. When she does, she expects an informed opinion. However, after I present what she has asked for, she makes the decisions. Sometimes I never know what they are.
On occasion my wife has asked me to read some investment material she had and give her my opinion or do some further research for her. I do this, give it to her in writing and never ask what she decided. She may or may not tell me later, but I have been asked for an opinion and that by itself thrills me.
About three years ago my wife wanted to change brokers. She told me to come up with a list of several for her to talk with. I talked with friends and etc., and came up with seven of them. My wife then told me exactly what she was looking for in a broker and instructed me to talk with each of them. I did and reported back to her my opinion of each. Based on that she cut the list down to three and had me set up her meeting with each of them. I did. I took her to meet each one and waited while she interviewed them. She was pleased with all three and selected one of them. She told me I had done a great job and saved her a lot of time and effort. It was clear to me she had trusted my judgment. I was active in the selection process.
Financial control by the wife does not mean she has to do all the mundane work of bill paying, keeping track of stuff and etc. She can delegate that to you just like she can delegate anything else to you.
I do all the mundane financial chores such as preparing the bills for payment (she only signs the checks), balancing her accounts, researching for her investments when she tells me and giving her detailed reports whenever she says.

Living on an Allowance

Let her set your allowance (you can have input, but her decision is final). If you need extra money for something, hopefully you will be allowed to ask for it and present your case. You will find this hard to do and accept, having to ask your wife for money.
If she says yes, that is great, but what if she says no? You cannot argue with her. You cannot make her feel bad for saying no. You cannot pout. You have to cheerfully accept her decision even if you don't understand it.
If my wife says no (and she does a lot more often than she says yes), I still find it hard to accept. However, we have reached a compromise. I am allowed to bring the request back to her in six months if I still feel I need whatever I asked for.
You will find she may surprise you with some extra money now and then or a special present of something you really want (and she may have told you no earlier).
If you want to become more subservient to her, you might want to consider offering to do things if she will pay you more money. $5 is a mighty small amount to get by on per week. I get $25 and can hardly manage. Ask her if she will pay you an additional amount if you start doing the laundry and build on it from there. A couple of years ago I wanted something that cost $150. My wife said no. A few weeks later I asked her if I could do something to earn the extra money. We talked back and forth awhile and she finally agreed she would "credit" me with $2 an hour for doing extra personal chores for her. I kept a record by minutes and we actually had a lot of fun with both of us thinking up things for me to do, her checking the record every day and etc. Once I got close to the required amount, she started getting strict about it being an extra and even started deducting items to punish me for failing to do something I should have done. “Raising the bar?” As I said, it became fun. I got what I wanted. A big bonus was I discovered some of the personal things she wanted done she hadn't brought up before and they are now a regular part of our relationship.
I sometimes wish I weren't on an allowance and/or had more say so with our finances. However, you sure feel the depths of submission (and its pleasures) when you are truly dependent upon your wife's good will for whatever money you have.

To me the worst part is being on a small allowance and her having the ability to "punish" me by reducing it whenever she sees fit. However, she also rewards me at times with extra money and I have learned to really appreciate that. I totally trust her to do what is right for me.

Are you guys on an allowance? If so how much do you get (if that is not too personal). I get $25 a week for spending money and do not have to account for any of it. When I have to buy anything for the house (i.e., groceries and etc.), she gives me a signed check and or lets me use her charge card. She always checks to make sure I have not padded the purchases to get extra money.
I often find it hard to get by with this amount. This Saturday when she was giving me my allowance I suggested she should raise it. I had been broke the last three days. (But I had not gone into the money I save back to buy her presents.) In response she said I was not spending wisely and just needed to learn how to be more thrifty. She reduced my allowance to $20 a week for the next month, saying when I learned to live on that, the $25 would seem like a lot.
I am not upset. No need to be, that won’t help. I was just wondering if anyone else had experience in this matter. How did you get a raise??

April 1st was a year since she last reviewed my allowance. I approached her about giving me more money. She told me to write down as best I could remember how I spent my money and keep up with everything I spent for the next three weeks and let her see it. It wasn't real hard keeping up with $25. Saturday night I gave her my report. She said she'd look it over and decide what to do or change if anything.
Last night she said she was raising my allowance to $50 a week! I couldn't hardly believe it. I was hoping for a raise but not that much. But the best was yet to come. After I near fell over myself in gratitude, she gave me $200 in cash and said to spend it all on myself, not to buy her anything.
I feel like I am the luckiest man in the world. I have a wife I adore and worship. I love to serve her and take care of her. I know she loves me and appreciates what I do for her. She shows me that near every day. I told her how much I loved her and that I would always do whatever she said. She said she knew that and she loved me too.

Buying Her Presents

I have very little money to get her anything for Christmas. But this has given me an opportunity to be creative. I am developing a plan to wrap up something, maybe a poem I'll write, to say I am quitting my job and coming to work for her. She will be my boss both at home and at work. It is hard to believe how totally dependent I am upon her and how much I love it.
When my wife and I were dating I would surprise her with little gifts every couple of weeks. Nothing expensive or fancy, just something I thought she would like. This continued (on less frequent intervals) for a while after we got married. However, after she took charge of our finances and put me on an allowance, I wasn't able to afford to continue this. Actually it had almost stopped by then anyway. Now it is a challenge to save up enough to buy her gifts on major occasions. All though this will be easier since my [allowance] raise (I hope). I do leave her notes of love and appreciation a lot. I may have it by her coffee cup, put it her purse, under or pillow or some other place I know where I know she will find it.
She gives me little gifts now. It might be a bottle of men's cologne), or as major as one she gave me last year which was a $100 gift certificate to the drug store where I usually buy pedicure supplies. I often wish I could buy her little things but she knows I can't afford to and I think she appreciates the notes just as much if not more.
This is in reply to your question of how I could buy my wife expensive gifts. I can't. There is no way possible because I do not have free access to any remotely large sum of money. Yes, if she wants something, she buys it and I must say she does not hesitate to splurge on herself. Before she took control of the finances I would buy her right expensive gifts from time to time. She appreciated them but often exchanged them for what she really wanted.
Now she buys what she really wants. But the big plus is how much more she appreciates the gifts I do buy for her. It may be an inexpensive sweater, some new underwear, candy or even flowers from time to time, but she knows I have had to save back from my allowance to make the purchase and she knows I have given up some pleasures for myself to please her. She seems to appreciate them
much more than she did expensive gifts that caused me little hardship.

I have very little business travel. When I do, I am paid a daily amount by the company for meals and my room is charged to the company. Therefore this does not present a control problem for my wife. I usually am able to return some of the daily money allowed to her, but she does not ask me to account for it. She is a good woman.

(End Part One, to be continued…)