Thursday, January 11, 2007

Being Shaped by Her

Is it unmanly for a husband to want to be “shaped” by his wife? I don’t think so, and I’m not alone in the view. A husband-shaping dynamic is very much involved in the idealized wife-led marriage, coveted by those men who pursue this lifestyle. As a recent posting by a husband in the Wife-Led Relationships board explains:

“What I am doing by allowing myself to submit to her is allowing her to shape me into the man she wants me to be. And that man is not wimpy or weak when dealing with the world, but he is very loving and deferential when dealing with his beloved wife.”

As another wife-worshipping husband once wrote (in Lady Misato’s husbands’ forum): “I am proud to be in touch with others who know the true meaning of being a man is found serving and worshipping the woman he loves… [By doing that] you will toss the male ego burden aside. You will be free to grow in your service to her. To be a real man, her man.”

These guys make wife worship sound kind of like a spiritual path, don’t they? Not that they pray to their wives (though they may bend a knee to kiss her proffered hand or even her dainty toe), or actually worship her (in an idolatrous sense). But they do view each day as an opportunity to perfect their service and devotion to her, to make her the center of their life, the focus of their thoughts and feelings. And in this “centering” they profess to find daily bliss.

Amen to that!


helpmate hubby said...

Well said, that captures the essence of our beliefs quite well!

BTW, very excited to read that you were working on Chapter 7 of your book while at work the other day! Just be careful and don't get caught and turn yourself into a househusband against your Wife's wishes!

Patrick said...

Succinct and on point. I like how you made the distinction between not being wimpy in the outside world, but being deferential to her.

Be assertive with others and don't let them push you or her around. Stand up for yourself, sure. Sometimes there is a place for macho behavior. But don't bring it home to your wife.

A very noble conception of masculinity.

Victor said...

Very well said. i love being shaped by my Wife. It is so fulfilling to submit myself toNer to be molded into the man She wants me to be.i feel honored to have such a wonderful wife who is willing to remake me into someone who will better server Her desires. i feel that there could be on higher calling than to serve Her and i am thankful to be able to do it.