Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Au876: A Husband’s Place Is in the Kitchen
(Editor’s Note: Two earlier collections of wife-worship postings from “Au876” stirred things up a bit here. What follows will probably be less provocative, but focuses on an often-overlooked aspect of wife worship—namely, the husband gradually taking over meal planning, cooking and serving, not just dish-washing afterward. As you will see, Au was a strong proponent of this, as much as surrendering financial control. All these excerpts were from Lady Misato’s original Yahoo! Husbands’ forum, which is no longer extant; her current husbands’ forum, however, is available on Facebook. — Mark Remond).
Au876: A Husband’s Place Is in the Kitchen
Without being a wimp (and again I think it takes a real man to serve his wife), I would suggest you proceed to serve your wife in every possible way. If you don't already, learn to cook. You will be surprised how quickly your wife will let you take on that chore. Wash the dishes, clean the kitchen after each meal.
If you are not cooking, learn how NOW. Plan the menu, buy the food, set the
table, cook the meal, clean the dishes.
Meal Prep 101
Nowadays my wife tells me what her schedule is every Sunday for the upcoming week (as far as she knows). I then know to have her dinner ready (I do all the cooking) to fit her schedule. After we eat, I wash the dishes and clean the kitchen. She also posts her schedule on our kitchen calendar so I won't forget. I don't remember what it was like when she cooked or did anything in the kitchen or around the house.
The Rewards of Cooking
Cooking is a major job and a major source of self-confidence. It makes you feel good about yourself when you can put a decent meal on the table for her. I would highly recommend you make this a goal. She will have to help you, teach you and supervise you to begin with. Tell her you want to learn how to cook and you want her to teach you. Listen, watch and learn from her. Help her at every meal as you slowly begin to take over while she watches. Don't be fancy or scared to fail. You can always call for takeout.
Last night after dinner (which I cooked), my wife told me I needed to make a dish for her to take to work today. Her office was having some kind of celebration for lunch. So I did that while she watched some TV. This afternoon she brought the dish back (dirty but empty) and said everyone told her how good it was. Several of the ladies wanted me to send them the recipe. That made me feel good. I love it when someone likes my cooking.
There is no doubt in my mind that preparing and serving all the meals is one of the best ways for me to show my Wife my appreciation and worship of her. Of course I don't have any say in the matter but even if she told me I didn't have to prepare the meals I would do so anyway.
My wife just happens to think a man is better suited to keeping house and she certainly doesn't like to cook (though she is an excellent cook).
…That was a great idea. I made a copy of the recipe and will be trying it. I have been doing all the cooking for several years now. I will try to pass along some things I use but they are all very basic. Thanks a lot. The best way to please a woman is to cook her good meals. Or at least one of the best ways.
…To give you an idea of how stupid I am, I don't even know what falafel is. I am always so scared of messing up and not having a good dinner for my wife. She encourages me to branch out. Now and then she even leaves a recipe out for me to try. I keep a couple of frozen pizzas in the freezer as a backup. I do look forward to trying the fettucine, probably next week.
..Thanks, I make a pretty mean meat loaf. In fact I have several I make and my wife likes them all. Don't get me wrong. My wife says I am a good cook. It’s just that I am always uncertain of how things will turn out. When I started cooking several years ago, my wife was my teacher. She started by having me help her prepare dishes and explaining what she was doing. We progressed to her supervising while I prepared the various dishes. It wasn't long before she just sat in the den while I cooked and she was available for questions and etc. Finally she said it was time for me to be on my own. This meant I had to plan the meal, shop for the groceries and have dinner on the table for her according to whatever schedule she was on.
She still gives me hints now and then and is always willing to answer my questions. I guess for the last three or four years I have done all the cooking to include even fixing her lunch when we are here doing the day. She gets involved some when we have company. She wants to know what my menu is or she may give me a menu to have or just make adjustments to the one I have. Then she tells me to call on her if I need help. I pride myself on not having to call on her because we when we all sit down to eat, I want her to brag on me and say I didn't need any help. That is just the male ego in me I guess. Still, sometimes I have to call on her.
His Favorite Cookbook
…It sounds to me like you are on the way too. You have some great insight on how to proceed. I need to start trying more dishes myself. For awhile I was trying a new dish every week or so but then slacked off. You are right about the book, The Joy of Cooking. My wife gave me the book a few years back. It is now well read, marked and re-read. I need to get that book on manners.
I strongly endorse the book The Joy of Cooking also. My wife gave it to me several years ago. It tells you everything about everything and I use it all the time. Just to make sure I know what is in it, I read it from cover to cover twice. Not deep reading, just revie- type reading to know its contents.
Just a hint as you are using the book. Make notes beside whatever you tried. Did she like it or not? Would she have preferred more of this or that added or taken out? Did she eat seconds? Always watch her reaction to what you serve and try to improve upon it next time. The notes will be a big help.
Christmas Cooking (& Other Holiday Chores)
My wife goes through the Christmas card list. She makes a notation by any name she wants to include a personal note with. I get the cards ready and take care of the rest (expect the personal notes). I always do all the cooking and cleaning up. However, I am not good not nearly as good at baking as she is. She has a special pie and cake she bakes herself. I will bake cookies for a cookie swap she goes to and will try to bake some other things she wants. But I won't bake anything unless she is close by to help me if needed. We still do a stocking for each other. Last year my wife put all kinds of pedicure items in my stocking. I didn't have to buy anything for months. I have mentioned twice recently what a good stocking I got last year. (hint, hint). I had all kinds of makeup items she uses in hers.
Out of the Kitchen and the Closet
I will recount as best I can how the soup recipe thing happened. There were three of us couples at the table eating. The hostess served the soup first. My wife and the other lady (let’s call her Jane) both commented on how good it was. Jane said she would like to get the recipe. The hostess said sure, I will give it to you after we eat. After the meal we were still sitting at the table talking. Mostly the women were talking (that is not rare, is it?). Jane got up, got paper and pen from her purse and said ,"Let me get that recipe now before I forget it.” The hostess started to give it to her. My wife interrupted. "Au, don't you think you ought to get that too so you can fix it for me?” She told the hostess to wait a second. Then she told me to bring her purse to her. I did. She got some paper and a pen out, handed it to me, turned to the hostess and said "OK, Au is ready to write it down."
The hostess gave the recipe from memory as Jane and I wrote it down. The hostess said, "It is really good served with ham and cheese rolls.” My wife turned to me and said, “You can serve it with those good party rolls you made for me to take to work,” Jane said, “Au, I am impressed. You made stuff for (wife) to take to work?” I admit I was feeling a bit shy at this point. So I replied in a somewhat kidding way to Jane, “Heck, I do everything, isn't that what husbands are suppose to do?” Jane said, “Why, heck yes.” The hostess turned to her husband and said, “You could learn a lot from Au.”
My wife then said, “He's a good cook,” then led the conservation in a different direction. That is all that was said. However, when we were all standing at the door about to depart their house, my wife asked me, “Do you know where you put the soup recipe?”
“Yes, it is in my billfold.”
“Well, you won't have a hard time finding it there.” That was a joke the others didn't catch because she knows full well there is little to nothing else there. I never got the feeling anyone felt awkward. I was starting to feel that way just a tad but there is no way I would ever challenge my wife or argue with her in public. It was just natural for me to do as she said. And she is the one who changed the conservation to another topic.
Sunday night my wife had an old girlfriend over for dinner. She "suggested" I cook one of her favorite chicken dishes. Her friend got here about 4 p.m. We talked a few minutes and then I put out some cheese, snacks and wine for us. I was about to join them when my wife spoke up and said she would like to eat by 7 p.m. It takes me about 2 hours to prepare this certain dish so I excused myself and retired to the kitchen. I checked back with them several times to see if they needed anything. I could hear them laughing and talking as I peeled veggies, cleaned chicken, prepared some side dishes, set the table and all that stuff. At almost exactly 7 p.m. I was ready. I had prepared their drinks, served their plates and lighted some candles on a centerpiece. The table looked great! When I went to the den to tell them dinner was ready my wife glanced down at her watch. I knew I had pleased her by being on time. I ate with them and everyone enjoyed the meal. After we finished our dessert, my wife said she would clean up if I wanted her to. Her friend joined in, saying she would help, too. I knew my wife did not mean that. She hasn't washed a dish in years. I told her no, she didn't need to help me, I enjoyed cleaning up. I cleared the table and cleaned up while they sat there and talked some more.
My wife was very proud of me. She bragged to her friend how I did everything around the house now and did it better than she could. Her friend has been divorced twice. She said if she could find a man like me she would never divorce him and then she teased my wife saying she had better be careful or someone would take me away from her.
I feel I am very lucky that my wife has taken control of me and demands I serve her and wait on her. It excites me to cook her meals. It excites me to wash her clothes, iron them, fold them and put them away for her. She seems to have the ability to keep me horny and longing for her all the time. This makes me want to literally jump at her commands. Sometimes when she punishes me it makes me feel like a little kid. I know I can refuse the punishment but being scared shows me the raw power she has over me and I’d do almost anything to prove to her I will do what she demands.
I mean I get sexually turned on when she scolds me, punishes me just like I do when I am slaving away to serve her in some fashion. I try to come up with new ways to show my devotion and submission all the time. But the strange thing is I do not feel unmanly in the least. I guess I truly believe the proper place for a man is to be submissive to his wife or partner and serve her in all possible ways.
I feel real good about myself. I simply love taking care of my wife and doing all I can to please and tend to her. It seems so natural.