Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Why All Decisions Pass Through Her

A recent example out of so many of how things get done at our house. And why I have to check with the boss on any big stuff. And, if I’m smart, small stuff too.

The top slide-out basket in our dishwasher came off the rails. That’s what I thought, anyway, but I couldn’t seem to get it back on track. I tried and tried. My wife took a look and saw that it wasn’t just off track – a little flange or thing-a-ma-bob had snapped off.

So she told me to call this guy she’d bought it from, who also did repairs. I did. He was having eye problems and couldn’t come out, but based on my description of the problem and then my reading him off the serial and model number, he did some research and said we’d have to replace the entire basket -- for, get ready, about $280.

Or we could get a new dishwasher for around $800.

I swallowed and, aware that I was exceeding my authority here, told him to go ahead and order the basket.(I mean, there were no other options, right? The guy told me so.) Then I told my wife what I’d done when she called. She told me to call him right back and cancel the order, that she’d take another look when she got home.

She did. She pulled the tray out, squatted and squinted. Then she had me get some super glue, and in five minutes had fixed the problem for maybe around thirty cents worth of glue. Not $280, not $800, but thirty cents, maybe less. Just a squirt.

That was a couple weeks ago. The tray is sliding fine, holding the weight fully laden. But, hey, I contributed. What I did is, I held the two parts together when my wife told me to, and I kept doing that until she told me to let go.

It’s called the division of labor.


I'm-Hers said...

Mark, You didn't state this but I am wondering if you are implying that your wife is either smarter than you or that you are just dumb! lol I viewed your dishwasher story as neither, but one in which your wife thought outside of the box and came up with a more economical solution than you did with your 'impulsive call' to get a quick, yet more expensive fix. In the end, she felt good, you admired her and your dishwasher can still function for a bit longer when it will break again. What then? May I suggest Gorilla Glue?

Mark Remond said...

I'm Hers--The funny thing is, I think of myself as really smart. But I'm a dreamer, and the thing I'm best at is sitting in a chair, making up stories, living a fantasy life. I used to make a living at it, and hope to again. Reality is not my forte. My wife, like many, I suspect, is light years more practical, though she, too, is wonderfully creative, especially with words. But ask her the current BCS rankings, or ATP rankings, or who Theo Epstein or Ryne Sandberg is, and she's hopeless. And which, I ask you, is more important -- sports trivia or how to fix a dishwasher for thirty cents.
But I've learned to apply myself to reality -- I fill and empty the dishwasher and do as many household chores as I can.

Anonymous said...

So right!! LOL!
It's like that here. My Wife is so smart, she can fix things I can't.. sigh! :)

BOB said...

MR Remond
Women have making spending decisions for some time now.Which is why most tv commercials have always been aimed at them.But recently its increased dramaticly. More and more tv shows are aimed at women [Grey's anatomy,ect] And more and more tv shows and tv commercials try to apeal to women by showing female empowerment, male skin[its hard to find a man on tv with his shirt on nowdays] and often storylines featuring women defeating male rivals at work or putting husbands/boyfriends/ male love interests , in thier place.

Much of prime time tv is very much geared to women.And much of this is due to the fact that advertisers know of the fact that most of the time women make the spending decisions in the family.And that more and more single women have greater and greater discretionary income. Its not a coincidence that most female oriented tv shows are made to appeal to young college educated female proffessionals

My own favorite tv commercial was "The Cleaning Hunk" [its still on youtube] .It featured a hunky guy cleaning a woman's house by stripping off his clothes, piece by piece, and using them as cleaning rags.All while the woman oggles his body and has him get on his hands and knees to clean so that she gets a better view of his ass.

Im guessing that we will see more and more of those types of commercials in the future

BOB said...

MR Remond
You are lucky.Ive never actually lived in a house with a dishwasher.And i only remember one of my girlfriends that had one. So not only do i wash dishes at home by hand.but ive always washed my girlfreind's dishes by hand as well

Most of the women that i know have a dishwasher.Its called "thier husband". I would say with about 50% of the couples that i know, the husband/boyfriend does all of the dish washing and housework. In about 30 % both the wife and husband share the cleaning[generally with the husbands doing 60%-70% of the cleaning] and about 20% of the couples that i know, the wife does the majority of the housework.And these are usually the older couples that i know

Btw, im guessing that if you asked most women what kind of "dishwasher" they wanted, they would choose the shirtless guy in the baseball cap, that you showed in a photo ,in this post :]

Anonymous said...

Here are some charming videos:

Cleaning Hunk

Here is a charming Femdom fantasy

Anonymous said...

Apology for quick off-topic comment, but want to thank you for linking to Real Women Don't Do Housework. I was transfixed... omg, could I share that with my wife? I need more time, darn it, and look forward to reading your book intro as well. Again, thank you. :)

BOB said...

MR Remond
I just wanted to wish you and your family a happy Thanksgiving.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mark,
I wanted to drop a note and thank you for your site. I first found it about 3 years ago and it opened up a window to a new world I knew existed but didn't know how to get to. Since then, with the encouragement and guidance of your site and others, I think I can consider myself in a wife led marriage. My typical day starts with me bringing my wife breakfast in bed, making her lunch for later, then getting the kids ready for school and taking them to the bus stop. I go to work, come home and make dinner which I serve to my wife and kids. I do all the laundry, cooking and cleaning. At night I kneel at the end of the bed and massage my wife's feet while she falls asleep watching tv. Whenever my wife arrives home I meet her at the door with her slippers and kneel to remove her shoes and place slippers on her. She decides when we have sex and let's me know by playfully putting her foot in my face as I massage her. I then know i am invited to please her orally and do so. I am in heaven.

Apart from this new life, an interesting twist has been added to our lives the past few months. My sister in law has moved in with us temporarily with her husband and kids while they search for a new house. I have been trying to allow my sister in law as many trappings of living in a woman led household as possible. I have insisted that she allow me to do their laundry and cleaning as well. I continue to do all the cooking and serve her meals; taking her plate when she finishes. I bring her tea in the morning. I have even on several occasions knelt down and removed her shoes for her after she arrives home. So far it has worked well and she has adapted quickly to her new status and privileges. I consider my wife and her sister to be Goddesses and I feel very lucky to be allowed to serve them.
Thank you for helping me get here.

Mark Remond said...

Anonymous, Bravo! I am tickled and proud to have played any part in the elevating of your wife to proper Goddess status, and in helping to facilitate your entry into Heaven! What you describe is heavenly, including the "interesting twist" of serving both your wife and her sister. You are certainly setting an example for your sister-in-law's husband, one which I hope he heeds. Or has he noticed?
Anyway, this is one of the most gratifying posts I have gotten. You have come a long way in 3 years, and your wife seems wonderfully comfortable in her leading role. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

Another decision I think is important to let pass through your wife is who the father of any children is. If you truly love your wife and respect that she has to endure pregnancy and everything else she should at least get to decide the biological attributes she wants in her child via choosing the father! But of course you, the husband, should raise the child as your own because that's an important part of marriage.

Anonymous said...

This is why I make sure that my wife is at my side if I buy some IKEA stuff. Her presence in directing me prevents that I get nervous... And I'm a skilled handyman!

Mark Remond said...

It has been noted, by me and other submissive husbands, that as time passes in this wonderful lifestyle and you come to rely on her judgment in more and more areas, soon those areas of confidence and competence been to recede a bit, and you begin to second guess yourself. My wife doesn't particularly like this overreliance of mine on her superior decision-making, in everything from picking a wine to choosing an electric drill, but then again, she doesn't hesitate to send me back to the store when I choose unwisely.

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