Sunday, November 29, 2009

Bow and Vow

Nothing to do with Worshipping Your Wife, even the occasional royalty, makes me happier than getting emails from readers about how my book or blog helped advance their female-led relationships. Not always, but usually it is men who confide that my prescriptions actually helped or, even better, that they showed certain chapters or blog posts to the potential goddess in their life, and she took the wife worship message to heart!

One gracious reader, in a recent series of email exchanges, credited my writings for “giving me the courage to openly submit to my wonderful wife.” After a period of “stealth submission,” he “came out” to his recent bride with a letter “explaining everything.”

Submissive hubbies who have gone the stealth submission route well know the anxiety involved in such a “coming out,” finding the right confessional tone and words, then waiting like a prisoner in the dock for the reaction of the beloved, searching her face and body language for the first signs of yea or nay.

My email correspondent hit the jackpot. His bride’s reaction to his confessional letter was everything he had hoped and prayed for. “She thought it was beautiful,” he wrote. Later he showed his wife my book, and she was enthusiastic. My friend is now living a life of open submission, and has since shared my book with another man. He adds, “I am beyond happy.”

He provides some additional details that I’d like to share. Every day he gets down on his knees and affirms his adoration of his beloved. “I honestly don't remember the first time I knelt in front of her and just adored her,” he writes. It just seemed natural. Down on his knees he repeats a series of daily vows that he wrote. “I say these to her every day, no exceptions.”

Here they are, minus a few personal phrases. I find them romantic and tender, candid and, yes, intimately confessional:
Today I promise to show you my love in how I speak to you and listen to you.
Today I promise to treat you with affection and respect.
Today I promise to put your needs before my needs and your desires before my desires.
You are my wife, my lover, my fantasy and my queen and I very much want to please you.
I very much want to serve and obey you.
I want to belong to you. I want to be your submissive husband.
This is who I am and I adore you for accepting me.

This daily ritual serves as a reminder of and rededication to his life of submissive devotion to his wife. And, he writes, borrowing a phrase from my book, it is also part of “daring to be known by her.”

I felt a pang of jealousy when I read this, because my new friend was describing a ritual that I once practiced with my wife, but which several years ago I allowed to slip away through lack of conviction and commitment to the lifestyle. As I explained in my own note to my wife:
When I see you each morning, or at the end of each workday, my heart fills with a newlywed's happiness. But, after 13 years of marriage [note: that was 8 years ago], there is no accepted ritual that permits me to display the intensity of my feelings. So I make do with a casual peck, a squeeze, a touch in passing... Too many months ago, for a brave while, I dared to go farther—to steal a few seconds out of our hectic morning preparations to kneel before you, as you dressed or did your makeup, and to embrace you wholeheartedly and declare my devotion. You were, I recall, accepting of these awkward avowals, and they gave my spirits a euphoric lift, a sense of going into the day draped with milady's colors and enwrapped in milady's perfume... But I let them lapse. And though I miss them keenly, these giddy little rituals, I've been too embarrassed, or too timid, to attempt to renew them.

And here my new email friend, inspired by me, was enjoying this wonderful daily ritual which I had neglected and lost! Why did I let that happen? I made my own vow—to regain what I had lost. To refresh my memory, I did a quick search of some postings I had saved on the topic of daily vows and obeisances. Here are a couple that get to the heart of the matter:

“When [my wife] finally got out of bed I quickly assumed my morning place before Her, kneeling before her, kissing her feet while she sat on the edge of the bed. She allowed this daily morning obeisance for a few moments, then stood and walked away toward her bathroom.”

Even more to the point is this posting from the wonderful blog (linked on my home page) by “Mistress Kathy” known as Femdom 101:
One of the special moments in my life was the first time John knelt at my feet, and we talked as mistress and [husband]. In my view the first time a man has the courage to kneel at his wife's feet is a very special occasion. This special little physical act often helps a couple transcend many of the boundaries that have kept their marriage arrangement from moving forward.
This may seem strange to many of you, but that moment John knelt to me for the first time, was as much of a romantic occasion as our first kiss. [Now, five years later,] there is never a day that John does not get down on his knees in front of me. During that time we talk as husband and wife, and John gives me his full and complete attention. There are no cell phones, TV, or other interruptions allowed. Our talk always ends with a kiss when I give him permission to rise.
What I am hoping by this email is to encourage other aspiring couples to adopt this procedure into their lives. It would make me very happy if at least one couple, who tries this procedure, would give me their comments on how this simple little act of devotion made them feel. I would love to hear as much from the wife as the husband.

So… thank you to my email correspondent. I am rewarded to have inspired you. But now you have inspired me. I make a bow and vow today to regain that wonderful daily ritual, which began for me years ago as an impulsive hyper-romantic gesture. I will keep you posted, and Mistress Kathy, too, on how I do in following through.


BOB said...

MR Remond
I just wanted to say that i thought that this was a great post!

I love to read about the romantic rituals that couples in real life Wife Led Marriages practice.

Worship Her said...

The daily vows that "Bow and Vow" says to his wife while kneeling before her each morning states everything that I feel and want to do each day for my wife. What a great vow, absolutely perfect. Thanks for re posting it. I will copy it down and try to memorize it this week to say to my goddes wife each day. It states what our WLM is about, and what I expect to do for her each day. We are a special group of men , all of us on this site , involved in WLM and FLR. I wouldn't change my worship for my wife for anything. The general male population of the world, if they read this vow, would laugh and think of us as fools. But we are the happiest men serving our wonderful wives, we are a very special breed. No domestic violence, loving relationships, great respect for our wives and all women, and we have the happiest wives. We do not quarrel with our wives, they are always right. All we want to do is please them in every way. What a great life we have! And they!

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful post, one of your best ever. And the respnse from Worship Her was so true. I have friends and coworkers who would never worship their wife. Some of them cheat on them, others make jokes or just btake them for granted. Yes, we are the happiest men serving our wives as it should be, unfortunately we are a minority. When we are all out my friends take notice when I do wait on my wife at a party, refill her drink without being told, etc. They say so others can hear that I'm trying to make points with her so tonight will be my night and so forth. Always thinking that I'm doing so much for her because I want to get in her pants. If they only really knew that she makes me wait 1 month before I can come and that I'm not even allowed to beg or ask. Or that the following morning I will serve her coffee, clean the house, massage her (sometimes to her having an orgasm if that's what she wishes) and then take her shopping. No football on Sunday, just doing things with my wife instead. I wouldn't trade my life with theirs. We are the ones who are doing it right, they are doing it wrong!!!!! I know I'm much , much happier than nany of my macho friends.

Anonymous said...

Great Post - I would love to have a ritual to kneel at my wifes feet and vow to serve her faithfully on a regular basis. I have written an annerversary letter to her saying so (1 year of official WLM), but no joy there yet. She's running the show but still uncomfortable with acts of overt submission, but she does enjoy the massages, pedicures etc so im sure with time the Worship part will be enjoyed too.

Hopefully we will reach the day where I can serve her as my queen and she understands and accepts that she more than deserves all of it.

Im a very lucky man indeed that she accepted my submission and is happy to walk this road to true happiness.

Good luck all


Worship Her said...

To the husband in the above post, you are doing great for 1 year so far. As for her not being too comfortable with overt acts of submission by you, just about all women feel that way. My wife has told me that when discussing relationships with her friends, they all say she is the luckiest to have "such a totally thoughtful and caring husband". They all agree on this but state that they also want their husbands to be men and show strength and to be the protector of them, kind of like the cave man days. So, yes, even my wife who has dominated me for the last 8 years is also uncomfortable with me kneeling before her on a daily basis. She has told me to kneel before her when I want to ask permission to come (which she seldom gives) and no other times. She says it makes me look wimpy and she doesn't like it. So keep serving your wife, give her massages, and take her shopping and stay with her to help pick things out. She'll love that better. As a bonus, my wife now takes me into the dressing room as she tries on new clothes so she doesn't have to walk out of it to show me and get my opinion. So I get to see her strip down to her bra and panties several times and get to oggle her fabulous body. If after 1 year she is not comfortable about you showing overt submission, let it go. She is in charge and you should only be doing what she wants. Good luck to you also, but I feel you already have it.

Anonymous said...

My wife and I have a FLM and having been doing it for about 5 years. We are both 54 years young and it has increased the romantic aspect of our marriage tenfold compared to others at our age. I do everything possible for Dorothy, all of the housework after I come home from work. We lay in bed before going to sleep and we rub and caress eachother, so much so that she usually ends up telling me to go down on her. I must remain in chastity, I wear a chastity device that she will remove every 2 or 3 nights for some teasing, then she locks it back on after some ice packs. Orgasms are rare for me, she has me waiting 8 weeks between them, and has told me that in 2010 I will only orgasm 4 times a year. It will be on the first day of spring, March 21, summer June 21 and so on for fall and winter. Has any of your many readers ever waited this long, or gone 3 months between orgasms? She asked me if I thought I could do it, and I replied that if this is what she wanted, then I will survive. Easy to say now. My wife also reads this blog so please try and answer this question before the end of this year. She will allow me one at Christmas, then that may be it. She will listen to any comments regarding if I will still be sane after 3 months, or if others had a medical problem due to this extended period of time.

runpb said...

In response to the previous post, my wife manages my "frequency" but is mindful of the negative health risk associated with almost never climaxing. A little research in this area will show that men who rarely orgasm are at increased risk for prostate cancer.
Thanks for all the nice comments.
I'm Mr. Redmond's new "email" friend and I'm happy that others have enjoyed a glimpse into our beautiful marriage.

Anonymous said...

Dear runpb; Thanks for your reply. My wife is aware that such long term chastity could result in a medical problem for a male, but she is not sure if 3 months of no orgasms for me is considered too long or if that time frame is safe. Trouble is she loves it when I get very horny, that usually happens after 3 .weeks or so. She loves how I act and how I become so much more submissive the longer she keeps me that way. Also , she said that after 2 months I now get an orgasm but it takes me 3 weeks to start getting back to where I was prior. So for every 2 months, she loses 3 weeks, Doing the math that's 18 weeks she says she loses during almost a year and a half. Now she says waiting until 3 months makes it 12 weeks 4 x 3 =12. More time spent horny. She has told me to research the medical part. We both thank you for your response.

Mark Remond said...

Anonymous (waiting for my response), I would only echo the sensible advice of runpb re the possible dangers of long-term chastity, but I'm really not qualified on the topic. Elise Sutton has, I believe, a lot of information on the topic, including techniques for prostate "milking," which does not seem to diminish the continuing submissive devotedness of the husband. I guess I would also tend to agree with Ms. Sutton's standard advice for the husband, after all the discussion and pros and cons. to defer to his wife's wishes... perhaps with the proviso that you revisit the matter periodically. You can always beg, after all!
By the way, I want to thank all of the Commenters on this post -- it has been inspiring and gratifying to read all your comments. The real credit, of course, goes to runpb for his beautifully crafted daily devotions.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mark, Thanks for replying. My wife thinks that "milking" is weird and gross when I told her about it a few years ago. So no going down that road again. Also, I am not allowed to beg , complain or state how horny I am unless she asks me. Or tells me to beg. I never get to come after begging anyway, so its purely for her amusement every month or more. She has told me that she is wondering if men could last 6 months or a year without an orgasm. She thinks that 3 months may still be under the maximum time. She mentioned the Pope, what does he do? Does he wait for a nocturnal emmision? I will be checking, but short of going to a urologist, there isn't much information on this out there.

steeredby said...

hi, since reading this I have knelt at her feet each morning before leaving for work. she kisses my forehead and I tell her I love.
Good coaching.

TIM said...

Interesting topics result in interesting posts by readers. This one was one of ONE OF YOUR BEST. I hope that we hear from the husband who is only going to orgasm 4 times next year, 3 months apart. Wow, does he have a very strict wife. She really knows what she wants and how to control him.. Good for her. I would like to hear updates from him on how he is doing, as I think that offering this to my wife would be the ultimate in our fem-dom marriage. Right now I wait about 6 weeks. But I don't know if I could double the time my wife makes me wait now.

Anonymous said...

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