Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Secret Brotherhood, Part 2

“There is a brotherhood of man…
Keep a-giving each brother all you can.
Oh aren’t you proud to be / In that fraternity…”
—Frank Loesser, “Brotherhood of Man,”
from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

In this Internet Age, submissive men, like birds of every other feather, are able to flock together at virtual gathering spots. Online “Cheers!” bars, I called them in an earlier posting (“Boys Night Out, Part 2”), where the regulars always know your cybername.

Here, to quote myself on an earlier posting, submissives gather to get their daily dose of “reinforcement, reassurance, feed-back, occasional cautionary words-to-the-wise and a wealth of been-there-tried-that ideas for taking the lifestyle up a notch.”

All extremely therapeutic and needful, according to female supremacist psychologist Paige Harrison: “I encourage all sub males to begin to make efforts to contact one another and begin to bond together just as Women do to discuss their mutual interests and concerns. Submissive males should become known to each other and share their feelings and experiences.”

What exactly do we “share” in these ad hoc support groups? Some guys tend to exhaustive self-analysis, dredging into why they are the way they are. I prefer the pragmatic and inspirational, trading tips on ways to be even more devoted and useful to my wife—to be, in other words, even more the way I am. Luckily for me, there are plenty of husbands and boyfriends similarly disposed, like this guy, from Lady Misato’s original Wife Worship Forum, greeting a newbie:

“Welcome! Get a cup of coffee, sit back and read all the posts to this forum from the beginning. You’ll soon see you’re not alone! Keep serving your wife, putting her first. Listen intently when she speaks and do everything she says.”

Another charter member, Au876, put it this way: “I too very much enjoy all the postings and knowing other husbands find joy in serving their wives. I am glad to be here and am thankful for our Founder [Lady Misato] having the grace to set up a site where men on the cutting edge can discuss, ex-change and even daydream. It is great to have a place where I, and we, can get it off our chest and know we are understood by those that read our post.”

With the female-led movement gathering momentum, you will find more and more submissive guys moving from guilt to pride in regard to their lifestyle. Calmly they are asserting that serving one’s wife, worshipping her, following her lead, all are “natural.” You will find articulate examples of this in the opening comments to the previous post on this topic.

Here are a couple more: “Far from being ashamed of all the things I do for her around the house, and in the bedroom and boudoir, my greatest joy and fulfillment is to serve her with all the adoration and respect that she deserves.”

“I want people to notice. I used to be ashamed of it or would hide it. If I was ironing, I would act like it wasn't me ironing. The same with laundry or cleaning. I've since grown up and said, ‘You know what, I should be proud of helping out’ and I've since stopped worrying about what others think. I beam with pride when someone makes a comment about how great my wife is treated.”

A few more for good measure:

“Hopefully, we can reach a point where a submissive man who is pledged to a woman is viewed as someone special. This will come, of course, if and when women continue their ascent in the world of politics, business, the academy, etc.”

“If my wife wants to leaves clues of the nature of our relationship for our friends to see, I think she must feel empowered by it. And that makes me feel wonderful. It also makes me think that she must not feel any shame about having a submissive husband. That makes me happy.”

“I feel best about myself when submitting to my wife, and when I am allowed to exhibit this deference to her when around others I am not embarrassed. Often, others may see me serving coffee and dessert and then returning to clean up the dinner dishes while she enjoys their company, be they women, couples or men friends.”

These prideful voices are not just from the male chorus. Wives and other female authority figures are even more forceful:

“As women get more power, they may head their families; there is no shame in admitting who the head of the house is. I do not beat or whip my husband. He freely chose his role; his submission to me is an honor he feels I deserve.”

Kathy, of the estimable femdom101 blog, has often stated that a man should be proud to follow his wife’s lead:

“There are a lot of men in the world who need the guidance of a strong, smart woman. Society has taught men that this is something to be ashamed up. In my view the world will be a better place when men will be able to speak freely and openly about their submissive needs.”

“Society has programmed men with idea that they should be head of the house and leaders in society. The more modern, mature man will be more willing to admit to the world that his wife is head of his house, and he is proud to be her helpmate.”

“[A man] should be able to tell his family that his wife will be the head of house and the boss in their relationship. He should be willing to take routine instructions from his wife regardless of who is present. “

Ms. Barbara, who operates her own tease-and-deny female-led Yahoo! Group, puts it this way:

“There is nothing wrong with being a submissive male.... just be proud of it guys and we will like it! Pride and submissiveness are no contradiction. [My husband] manages to make me happy and I think that he's got a right to be proud of that. That is the kind of pride every man should strive for, i.e. making a woman happy...first and foremost.”

She’s so effervescent I can’t resist a refill: “My hubby wears the badge of being pussy-whipped quite proudly. I think that maybe, just perhaps, submission to a woman starts much earlier than the courting ages, yes? How about a small boy's love for his mom? I would think a mother's impression upon her son would be quite strong and his desire to please her is natural and uninhibited.”

I will close with what I regard as the clearest, most eloquent and certainly the most concise rationale of male submission in regard to the opposite sex. Its author, a frequent contributor to FLR boards and occasionally to this blog, signs himself “Ken Brix”:

“Indeed, one should never feel ashamed of one's submissive feelings to a woman. Love, in other words, is submissive.”


Anonymous said...

Great post! I am one of those submissive guys who enjoys reaching out to and connecting with kindred spirits. I happened to post about comraderie today, so it's interesting how I was partly on the same wavelength as you. Submission is a beautiful expression of love.

Mark Remond said...

Serving B - I just read your blog post about camaraderie among submissive guys, and we are indeed on the same wavelength. I credit the inspiration and support of submissive husbands, and specifically three of them, for helping me find my way along this wonderful path. They may have saved my marriage, but they certainly have enriched it, for me and my wife. I hope to be of similar service, and hope to share thoughts with you, as well.

whatevershesays said...

If a guy decides, because in the end run, he has to decide, to place his wife and her needs above his and enjoys doing it but in and out of the bedroom is he submissive or just a loving husband?

mister clean said...

Great post. As i was grocery shopping for O/our dinner last night i looked around in the store and noted that there were many other men loading up their shopping carts with no Woman in evidence. While certainly many were single, i wondered how many were doing as i was, serving my Wife. Having a place to reach out and know one is not alone is priceless!

runpb said...

Great post Mark.
I'd be proud to join this club!
It is nice to be able to share our experiences in pursuit of WLM happiness.
I'm all happy and proud that fairly often I find myself sitting on the floor at my wife's feet (my back to the TV) massaging her feet and legs while she relaxes. Perhaps the greater success is that I no longer feel embarrassed by this when our girls observe (and learn)how a man should treat his wife. Of course I'm sure they observe many other signs of who is "wearing the pants" and who is contentedly taking orders.
Thanks to Mark and to all the other kindred spirits who contribute.

Anonymous said...

great story. I love your story.