Lucky to Be a Guy

When I was a kid, I used to thank God I was born a boy. The stuff we got to do was a lot more fun, I thought–baseball, basketball, wearing raggedy jeans (girls didn’t like holes in their knees back then), standing up to take a whizz—in the bushes, behind the school, anywhere. Girls had to play with dolls, have pretend tea parties, wear skirts and pinafores and shiny black Mary Janes, all that silly stuff.

Post-puberty, my feelings didn’t change, only I had a lot of new reasons for my preference. Being a guy didn’t just mean doing guy stuff, but being excited by girls, being close to them, as close as we could get, and thinking about them all the time. Those strange and shunned stick-figure classmates had suddenly developed wondrous curves and cupolas and metamorphosed into magical creatures.

All these decades later, I still thank God I was born a guy, but the rationale has evolved. Now it’s because God in his or her infinite love created women, allowing men the incredible luck to live on the same planet with these incarnate goddesses. And, yes, I am more and more convinced that it is the proper place of men to adore, worship and obey these creatures, who bless our lives with their beauty and wisdom, creators of family of “man” and, indeed, of civilization itself.

Which reminds me of a friend who used to thank God he was gay, because it meant he didn’t have to deal on intimate terms with the opposite sex, whom he found, almost without exception, to be devious and manipulative. Guys he found much more straightforward, much more—well, like himself. He no doubt would have agreed with the exasperated and militant march of Henry Higgins, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?”

But, as I wrote in Worshipping Your Wife, most guys crave the opposite sex for their very oppositeness to us (among other attractions). Waxing semi-philosophical, I mused, “Are we drawn to them, biologically, as the literal matrix of masculinity, from which we emerged?”

For answers, I’ll yield the lectern to some other voices, beginning with an anonymous and articulate wife-worshipper I quoted in Chapter 7 of my book, who believes that women’s “rightful roles” are “as the divine inspiration to our otherwise sad and empty lives.” Men are most happy, he wrote, when we “give our bodies, our minds and our lives to serve and defend these brave, beautiful, nurturing, challenging, life-giving, playful, wondrous women. With their guidance, our lives once again become real and connected to the natural world.”

Anyway, that’s why I think males, whatever we lack in other areas, are luckier than females, because we get to be the recipients of all their bedazzling powers.

The same point was made, in eloquent if sometimes awkward English, in a letter to Elise Sutton from a German gentleman calling himself “Dieter”:

Dear Ms. Sutton, “My dad taught me that men only under the leadership of women can become lucky and successful to the same time. He told me that women led us away from the apes into civilization…
During puberty, I realized something else, something mystic with the girls. I wanted to be a part of this womanly Beauty. I didn’t want to be a girl, I wanted to be a part of the girl that made me falling into awe. Girls in general made me feel that way. Everything of them were a mystic beauty – their face, their body, how they moved, talked, laughed, how they looked at me - overwhelmed my sense of Beauty.
Making love to [the girl who became my wife] gave me for moments the illusion I had achieved what I longed for, being a part of her, being a part of the endless Beauty of womanhood she represented for me.
[And later] I was a part of her. I had experienced the Beauty of womanhood – that is like KNOWING what the word paradise really means. For more than 30 years now THIS is the highest level I try to get in sex life. Compared with this, ejaculation means nothing for me.
Every women who is aware of her supremacy looks beautiful and my wife is most beautiful for me. Maybe our femdom lifestyle is a bit old-fashioned. On the other hand there is hardly another man who lives for more than my 57 years under female authority. So I think I am blessed – blessed by Goddesses.”

My old cyber friend, Au876, puts it this way, even more briefly: “Anyone who has a wife they can love, adore and worship is lucky.”

From another kindred spirit: “If more men would quit trying to understand women and just sit back and enjoy them, I think we'd all be better off. I am so lucky to have my wife to serve, obey and please every day of my life!”

Another wife-worshipper chimes in: “Think of your beloved as a fabulous courtesan, whom you are courting and presenting with costly gifts, each night, hoping she will notice you. Aren’t you lucky to be the man who gets to buy her such presents?”

Admit it, isn’t it kind of a relief, to hear husbands drop the macho, cocky façade and gush openly and excitedly about their addlepated adoration of their magnificent wives? If you don’t’ think so, better stop reading, because I’ve got a few more to share:

Amen Chorus:

“My wife is everything a man could ever want in a woman and I am so lucky to have her. I tell her every day that she is the most beautiful woman in the world and that I love her with all my heart.”

“I will never take my wife for granted; I will be mindful of how lucky I am to have her and seek a thousand little ways to express my gratitude.”

I felt like a 17-year-old Romeo who was newly head over heels in love, but with my own wife. I also felt like a veil was removed from my eyes and I could see her much more clearly as a confident, intelligent, and very sexy woman who I was lucky to be married to. [from “Wife’s Romeo”]

“Many men only dream of being in deeply romantic relationships, instead sitting at home alone, night after night. You have the opportunity to please a goddess that most men would die for. Make the most of it!”

I looked at this wonderful woman and I thought about just how lucky I am. And I could feel the love I have for her welling up inside me as I gazed at her face. And the longer I was like this, the more entranced I felt. She was so beautiful, and I was so fortunate.”[from Enoch]

“My eyes and mind never wander from my wife. All my attention and energy are spent on pleasuring her. I am aware of people saying how lucky she is to have a young devoted husband but the truth is that I am the lucky one. She has given me experiences that I can only dream of. She has made me a real man.” [from another letter to Elise Sutton}.

“The key to a man’s happiness is to realize how lucky you are to share this planet with such wonderful beings as Women. To be a servant to your Wife is not degrading : on the contrary, it is an honour for males to serve their Superiors, it is assuming their right place and duty in the order of the universe.”

“I figured i better get busy and be more attentive and romantic--just call Her at least once a day and tell Her how much i love Her and how important to me She is and how lucky i am to be Hers and how happy i am to belong to Her. And to take the time to be genuinely happy and devoted to giving Her my full attention when She comes in the house, or any time we haven't seen each other for awhile.” [from Semanticus]

I suppose some wives could OD on all this sugary speech and assign hubby corner time to cool off. But a lot of wives manage somehow to adjust to the daily burden of apotheosis, and some even get to like it a lot:

“My husband constantly tells me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is - and he's right! He too is much happier and is often humming or singing around the house now. He has become my knight in shining armor as I have become his glorious Queen.”

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