Thursday, May 1, 2014


i haven’t been writing much lately given other commitments on the home front, plus a lot of activity at work and at the Women’s Center. Nancy has been quite busy of late, which naturally keeps me busy as well. With all Her out-of-town business travel, i’ve been very busy just packing and unpacking Her bags.

At the same time My Mother-in-law Sue has been hosting a number of small parties and get-togethers with Her many friends. Serving Her guests is very enjoyable for me, since I love being of service to Women; but it, too, makes major demands on my limited time. Having to serve doesn’t relieve me of my normal housekeeping chores, of course, so once Sue retires to Her quarters (we have a Mother-in-law suite), i get busy cleaning. (There is a house rule that everything has to be cleaned up before i go to bed.)

And then there is household shopping. Thankfully we have 24-hour stores nearby. More than once I’ve had to do the weekly grocery shopping—with permission, of course—at 2:00 a.m. There seem to have been a lot of late nights.

As for my boss, Carol, whom one of the commenters has asked about, lots has been happening on that front, too. In fact, i have just completed some business travel with Carol and am exhausted—with Her it’s an 18-hour day every day. She’s also been active within the company, formulating new interview, hiring, and promotion rules. Carol wants the company to put on a “feminine face” and is making sure we actively recruit and promote Women. We now have an unwritten 2/3 rule that states that, for every man we interview, we must interview two Women. We want to hire Women with technical skills and are offering an attractive compensation package to get them.

When promoting, we have to interview using the 2/3 rule and have to justify not promoting a Female candidate. Carol also instituted a mentoring program for Women within the company intended to give Them management exposure that will help Them along their career paths. We’re getting some wonderfully assertive Women at all levels, Women who want to make a difference. Male employees are more and more accepting these developments and most are fully cooperative; and those who aren’t are getting counseling to help change their ways.

What else? Well, i borrowed tuition money from Sue and am attending the “Gracious Living” class at the Women’s Center. i was offered a reduced tuition rate since i’m acting as a mentor to the other men in the class, but I declined the offer. As a progressive gentlemen, i feel it’s both a privilege and a responsibility to support the Center.

The course covers a number of topics intended to take male homemakers to the next level in their housekeeping and service skills. A wide variety of topics are offered to this end: window coverings and tapestries; flatware, china, and linens; flower arranging, arts and crafts decorating; artificial flowers, potpourri, and fragrances; personal service, and the boudoir.

As with all courses at the Center, there’s a practicum involved. men have some leeway in suggesting a decorating, arts and crafts, or service project at home, along with another service project for a host Woman. The men may suggest, but a group of Women at the Center ultimately decides. So far this class is going very well. All the men are at least part-time housekeepers and are anxious to enhance their domestic skills. It’s not just about pleasing one’s Wife but about the personal satisfaction that comes from being able to competently do more.

Tomorrow at the office we are having “administrative professionals” day, formerly known as “secretaries day.” At our company our administrative professionals include a large minority of males who have been hired into secretarial and clerical roles. Like their Female counterparts, the men will receive a flower arrangement and gift certificate. We expect that our administrative staff will have a male majority next year.

Finally, Nancy and i conducted an informal workshop at our home this week for three Women who are interested in exploring the FLR lifestyle. i always participate by serving the Women, demonstrating my obedience to Nancy, and attesting to my satisfaction to the lifestyle She and i share. Plenty of great conversation and many experiences were shared. These Women were looking for tips on how to proceed in taking control of their marriages. Nancy knows the men in question here and doesn’t feel the Women will have any trouble; the men She feels will be receptive to taking orders and having the resulting tranquility in their marriages. The Women will likely be busy this coming week, consolidating control of their finances, making some rules, and assigning some chores. Needless to say, the men will be kept busy, too!



Anonymous said...

I would love to hear more about the workshop. What questions did the women have. What reaction to your serving did they show. How did Nancy know the men involved would be accepting of an FLR? How did she know them since they were not in the lifestyle. I am interested in how the FLR lifestyle spreads. Bill

Anonymous said...

Dennis, I think you’re doing wonderful work assisting Nancy and Carol. I am particularly interested in the fact that a majority of your administrative staff will soon be male. It’s one thing when a single male is in a FLR. It’s quite another when all around him his gender is doing work that requires a subordinate status to authoritative and capable Women. When that happens norms change. I wonder if you could tell us more about what happens to the norms among male secretaries and clerks. Are most of them satisfied with their positions or do they seem just as jobs? How many of them enjoy—perhaps “are fulfilled” would be a better word—serving women as much as you do? How do they react when they receive flowers and a gift certificate? What evidence can you give us? Are any of them homemakers as well? You mentioned that some men get counseling. Can you describe the content of it?

Incidentally, I support the idea of the 2/3 rule simply because as Nancy says it’s usually just common sense that Women are better in leadership positions. I wonder if other Women at your company, besides Carol, agree.

Keep up your great work.


Anonymous said...

Do you know if the domestic workshops are offered in many cities? And if so, which ones?


Mark Remond said...

Uxorious, let me answer your query for dennis, as he has actually answered it before. He is speaking only for his own locality, unspecified; and these workshops are something that Nancy and he have presented over many years, but i do not believe they are affiliated with any other group. Sorry! I understand the interest, and wish something of this kind could spread across the country.

Anonymous said...

I would think that two thirds at least of interview panels and promotion review boards should be of Women.

I too would be interested in what councelling and re education recalcitrant or backward thinking males are given.


Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Anonymous("I would love to hear more...")

Nancy usually knows the Women or couples in question for some time before there's a workshop or discussion. We know Women and couples from work, social settings, and our work at the Center. Just like meeting anyone else.

As for questions the Women usually have questions about getting started in the lifestyle or moving forward in it. They also have questions as to how men accept Female authority; these are questions i help answer.

Finally Nancy doesn't care whether the men involved accept the FLR lifestyle. As far as She - we! - is/are concerned the only one who matters is the Woman involved. Our experience is that once introduced to an FLR men love it...


Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to LS:

The majority of our clerical and administrative will be male is simply a result of our paying well for these positions and from qualified men applying for them. Most of the men we've hired into such positions have college degrees and fit well into the job. Also, we don't have armies of clerical, secretarial, and administrative staff around. As i said these jobs pay well so those who have them are quite happy with them; we have very few people leave. As for the flowers and gift certificates, no one complained. All administrative staff received identical gifts.

The 2/3 rule encourages us to recruit Women. We're not sure we're going to need a 2/3 rule soon because of the increasing numbers of highly qualified, technically skilled Women graduating the universities.


Obedient husband said...

While I support the idea of female employers having the right to interview and hire employees as they wish, I do hope that Nancy and Carol are careful about these policies becoming public. We do live in a litigious culture and I can easily imagine some man taking them to court over "unfair" hiring practices.

Just something to consider… maybe.

I'd love to work in such an environment!

Anonymous said...

Dennis I am interested in how the different age groups deal with the role reversal in the workplace? Do the younger women become more assertive and see nothing unusual in having male assistants? How do the older gentlmen find working for a woman, perhaps even being overlooked for a promotion to a young woman. Is there no male egos being hurt or women who find it difficult taking a lead role?

eust said...

I think that young people of both genders have no problems accepting the role reversal. Young men who went to college had previously been outperformed by women, since girls are now a majority at most colleges and usually have better grades.

So to work in a company run by women is not considered unusual or unappropriate for those men as they have already realized that patriarchy is dying; it's a woman's world now.

Also, young women should have no problems giving orders to men, but since it's a lot more complicated to lead than it is to follow, companies should constantly seek to improve women's leadership skills through various programs and workshops.

On the other hand I see no reason why company resources should be wasted on helping some guy's ego; chauvinists are a dying breed and anyone who has a problem working for women should be fired. Both men and women need to realize that men are disposable now...and act accordingly.

Anonymous said...

Interesting, many years ago when I applied for a job at a Woman led firm, two thirds of the panel that interviewed me was Female. Currently the about 60% of our attorneys are Female and the Management team conists entirely of Females. Powerful Women attorneys have me making coffee for them, running errands and some of them address me as "hon" or "sweetie" and tell me to compliment my Wife on how I am dressed. One Woman in particular will buzz me and say "get over here now!" and use similar commanding language with me. I do not know if I was the poster to whom dennis was responding but I would love to here more about Carol's rule over Her male employees. (lawslave)

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Anonymous just above:

Thank you for your comments. i don't work at a law firm, we're a software company, but we do have an all-Female legal department that seems to be more aggressive and demanding than the other Women in our company. In general though, we have an increasing number of Women in managerial positions and men in clerical slots. tom (a friend and coworker also in an FLR) and i are two of the highest-ranking men in the company, but we fully understand the Women exercising their authority. Serving coffee, running errands, being deferential, and co-sponsoring some of the programs the company has for Women are not only the right things to do but constitute a form of atonement men must pay to Woman, something that each of them deserve.

i have to laugh at your mention of "hon" and "sweetie" since the Women in our company use the same terms when addressing men. They also use "tootsie," "baby cakes," "boi," "sweetpea" and "darling"; not always, but when they subtly want to make a point of who's in charge. It's the same at home for both tom and me and for other men we know in an FLR. Wives, Sisters-in-law, Mothers-in-law, and Aunts have all adopted pet names for the men in their respective families; Sue uses "boi" a lot and Her Sister, Judy, has long called me "suzy Q."


Anonymous said...

language is so important and using boy shows that males are not quite adults compared to Women.

Also the connotations of waiters and of the relationship of Black people in segregationist America comes to mind.

The use of boi is even more significant.


Anonymous said...

Surely the other side of actively promoting Women in the work place is a positive program of demoting males.

Anonymous said...

Thank you dennis. In my last trial I beat a Woman from a Woman led firm. Strangely enough I like those trials. If I win, I get a gender neutral buzz from winning a case and ultimately my success confers a benefit on the Female managers for whom I work. If I lose I am empowering an aggressive professional Woman. Either way I get to spend a week with a powerful Female. (lawslave)

Anonymous said...

I think if employees and management and employers have to take a test to see how competent in the job they are already in we will see something.

What we will see is that more men will fail. They have been inducted and use older outdated methods and practices whereas the newer people are more Female.

Plus many of these people have got there through not a meritocracy but through and old boy network.

They can reapply for more junior posts increasingly under the supervision and stewardship of Women.