Thursday, April 23, 2015


(dennis continues his narrative of what he calls a “composite day” working for his boss, Carol.—Mark Remond)

 What goes on in a “bitch’s” typical day? Plenty! So let’s get started…

Arrive at office, check Carol’s email and respond where Her input is not specifically needed.

Clean the kitchenette, make coffee, unload the dishwasher, put away cups and saucers.

Set up cups, saucers, cream and sugar in the board room in anticipation of staff meeting this morning.

Get the mail, gathering that which specifically needs Her attention; take care of the rest.
Catch up on filing, then order office supplies.

Clean and polish the two pair of heels She keeps in the office; She broke a heel once so spare shoes are worthwhile insurance. i check that we have sundries, just in case – things like nail files, hand cream, a few pairs of earrings, pantyhose, and so on. Little things that She just might need.

In anticipation of an executive board meeting, check the board room, making sure the writing boards are cleaned and the AV is operational; for good measure i use the feather duster to make sure the room is in top shape for the seven demanding Women who will soon be gathering there; they accept nothing less than excellence!

Review my reports in preparation for the executive board meeting. Yes, I have operational responsibilities and participate in the meeting.

Go to the parking deck to meet and greet Carol. “Good morning, Ms. Brown,” i say as She points an authoritative finger and hands me Her keys. “Yes, Ma’am,” i respond, fully understanding that Her car needs fuel and a wash and that Her dry-cleaning needs to be tended to – my lunch time task.

i start to ask Her a question about my lunchtime chores, but She as no patience for questions. “Just do it, bitch,” She interjects, cutting me off. “Yes, Ma’am!” Enough said!

 i locate Her heels in Her totebag and place them on the ground next to Her open door. She steps into the 3-inch taupe slingbacks, leaving me to tend to the low heels She just took off. Carol drives in low heels but wouldn’t think of wearing anything lower than a 3-inch heel for business. High heels equate to power, and Carol wants that power! i put Her low heel shoes into the tote, making a mental note to clean and shine them at some point during the day.

i put Her purse over my shoulder, Gather Her bags, and follow Her into the office, staying with Her but a step behind. The sound of Carol’s heels on the hard floor sets a cadence for the day’s business and announces that authority is approaching. Men gathered around a coffee machine scatter like flies. Two other men call out to Her, “Good morning, Ms. Brown!” She nods and smiles.

Two Women approach.“Good morning, Carol.” Smiling, Carol responds, “Good morning Leslie and Judy.” Both women are members of  our leadership development program. Carol comments to me that She appreciated the respectful way She was greeted by the two men. “I’m glad you took care of that,” She says, referring to a few past situations where proper decorum wasn’t observed. “Yes, Ma’am,” i respond, adding that the expectation of proper respect for Women has been communicated companywide. Women, regardless of level or company service, are addressed as “Ma’am” and groups of Women as “Ladies.” This may sound trite, but in a company that was previously run by a good-old-boy network and that rarely promoted Women, even very qualified Women, culture change is difficult and we are in the midst of a lot of it.

Before arriving at Her office suite Carol stops to talk with two Women. i respectfully greet them – “Good morning, Ladies” – and then stay a respectful distance back while they complete their conversation. i continue to hold Carol’s purse and bags – putting them down would not be respectful. As the conversation continues, another Woman, one of our administrative assistants, walks down the hall with a mesmerizing cadence of high heels on the hard floors. She encounters one of our recently hired young men clearly anxious to help Her; he leaves with an armful of copying She needs done, leaving Her to do other tasks or simply to enjoy a cup of coffee. Culture change is working!

As we step into Carol’s office suite, i take Her jacket to hang, noting the need to steam it and decide to do so; i have a steamer and an iron in a back room and frequently freshen Her wardrobe. i inform Her just in case She looks for the jacket, but She has very little patience with me – “Just do it, bitch! Why do I have to be involved?” As i put Her tote away, i remember Her low heels and set them aside for a cleaning and polishing; again, i consider this as a part of my job and i have the necessary supplies. While Carol sits down to peruse Her paper, i serve coffee and put the board meeting agenda in front of Her. Then i hang up Her coat and put away Her totebag.

i manage Carol’s calls and appointments. When Her first call comes in, i answer and immediately deem it a low priority; it’s something i can handle myself or hand off but isn’t worthy of Carol’s attention. “i’m sorry but Ms. Brown is very busy right now, may i take a message?” i’ll tend to this issue later, but only because the caller was a Woman. Otherwise i wold have handed it off or ignored it. Responding to Female staff is a great way to break from the practices of the past and empower Women.

i greet the Women as they arrive for the executive board meeting – “Good morning, Ms. Jones!” Proper decorum is a must, and my preference is always to address Women formally, even though many of these Women allow me to use their first name. It’s a powerful group of Women, all company owners, and They deserve to be treated with special respect and deference. As each arrives i ask whether she’d like her usual beverage or something else. While we do serve the Women, tom and i are also board members, so we’re soon engaged in business conversations.

The board is assembled, and i greet them as a group – “Good morning Ladies, Carol will be in shortly. In the mean time may i refill your coffee cups?” Carol enters a few minutes later and the meeting begins.

(To be continued…)


Anonymous said...

A nice read Dennis but straying way too far into fiction surely.

It all sounds a bit far fetched Dennis....calling you bitch? Surely no workplace exists where all men call women from lowest ranked to highest Ma'am.

What woman would let a man buy her hand cream, earrings and pantyhose. I wouldn't know my boss's pantyhose type even though I stare at her legs all day, lol

Keep it coming though Dennis.


Edward said...

Although it's not company policy, i always ensure i refer to all the ladies where i work as Ma'am. i don't do this based on whether they are in positions of power over me or not. i think this is a matter of proper etiquette, and respect for a man to address a lady.

Burke Lang said...

This is truly excellent. Have you thought of developing a training program for male employees? You are truly a role model for men eager to work for women in corporate settings. Please keep up the good work, continue to keep us informed of your progress, and continue to serve as a role model.

Rahul said...

"Carol comments to me that She appreciated the respectful way She was greeted by the two men. “I’m glad you took care of that,” She says, referring to a few past situations where proper decorum wasn’t observed."

i would like to know what you did to bring the proper decorum in your office so that i can also use some tips.

Obedient husband said...

Having retired from the military, I needed to choose a new career. If one dug deep into my psyche, or maybe not so deep at all, I'm sure that one would find that part of the reason I chose nursing was that I wanted to be in a field where I would very likely be working for women. There are also many opportunities throughout a day to be deferential, respectful, and submissive to smart professional women.
Of course my "dream domme" at home won't mind the decent salary on top of my military retirement pay.
I say "won't" because I'm still a few months from graduating school and taking boards.
I don't doubt Dennis' story. There are no doubt both women and submissive males who are comfortable and happy in the environment he describes. I think Dennis is an inspiration.

Mark Remond said...

Obedient Husband, I totally agree -- and I know dennis is telling it just like it is in his life. In fact, I am willing to bet there are subservient duties that are required of him that he has yet to confide.

I am reminded of a wonderful posting many years ago on Spousechat from "Mr. Lisa," a househusband to "Ms. Lisa," a high-powered female executive who called all the shots in her home as well as the office. Here is an excerpt, which pairs well with the comment from Obedient Husband:

"Lisa hires men as well as women. She has a male receptionist, a male assistant, and 4 or 5 male agents. There are about 20 female agents. Like I said in a previous posting, the real estate industry is completely dominated by women. If any men want to know what it's like to be a subordinate to a woman, get a job as a secretary in a real estate agency. These women are all aggressive, assertive women and have no problems giving orders to men."

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Rahul:

We simply worked it into our orientation procedures and did some refreshers during employee meetings. Management generally felt that there was jut too much disrespect, vulgar language, etc and made it known that it wasn't going to be tolerated. Whether or not a man likes working for a Woman doesn't matter; he should respect Her and it's the same the other way around, too.


Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Edward ("Although it's not company policy..."):

Proper etiquette and respect are always proper, especially when the Woman is above you in the organization or when you are not on familiar terms with the Woman. Our company's is rooted in a male-dominated predecessor company and we need a few rules to to help us as we make significant culture changes...

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Burke Lang:

We have an orientation and refresher program for employees where we talk about respect and etiquette... Since we historically have been a male-dominated culture, the men get a disproportionate share of this training, but everyone is expected to conduct themselves properly.

Alex said...


I know some of you are from California (Dennis is). I'm going to go there for a visit and one of the main reasons is that I feel that that is a place where I can feel a sense of "community" when it comes to BDSM (of course, I'm into Femdom myself but I'm sure California has lots of communities from Femdom to anything). That is why I'm posting this to ask anyone who might be able to help me to know where to go, who to meet etc. Anyone?
BTW, if anyone wants to meet me while I'm there it could be a good idea but for it to be safe (just because this is the internet) I ask for it to be at a public place (not that I don't trust you - it's just the internet)

Anonymous said...

You mentioned this is a software company. Do women do the technical I.T. work, and are there women programmers? This is interesting because historically, the one strike against feminism has been that women do not seem to show any sincere interest in the physical sciences and technical disciplines. This makes women put themselves at a disadvantage when they go up against a male in this area, not to mention they come across as only wanting the big pay check and not really having any passion for the engineering side of things. Or is the company attitude along the lines of "Its not the engineering that makes the money, its the marketing and intellectual property structures", which of course would be dominated by women?

Awakened Husband

Anonymous said...

To Awakened Husband: This is honestly one of the most enraging and ridiculous statements I've heard in a long time. Did you know the first programmers were women? We invented the field! The reason women are underrepresented in engineering/IT is precisely because of sexist like yourself who think women have no place there and make it a toxic place to work (e.g. sexual harassment, devaluing our ideas, teaching little girls that math and science are for boys, etc).

While I've had to deal with this attitude my whole professional life, I was honestly not expecting to see such an ignorant comment on a blog for men who want to worship their wives, and maybe that's why this offended me so much. I hope one day you realize that women are people, and we have the same capability of being scientific innovators and creators that men do. We do not exist just to fulfill your femdom fantasies.

Obedient husband said...

It sounds like "AH" needs to apologize for offending the lady.
Honestly, with a name like "Awakened Husband" on site dedicated to promoting submission male submission, it was pretty inappropriate.

Mark Remond said...

dennis replies to Anonymous signed "Adam":

i'm amused that hand cream, earrings and pantyhose are such a big deal! These are the same things that Nancy has in Her desk at work, things that in Her case i provide. Pantyhose are easy though - control top, sheer toe, neutral color and you've got it. i'd bet that most Women in our office do keep a spare pair of pantyhose in their desk. i started keeping pantyhose when Carol had a catastrophic run in Hers just before an important presentation. i noticed this and offered to run down to the hotel gift shop for a replacement pair... Ascertained Her size given that She and Nancy wear the same dress size - how do i know Her dress size? No magic, i noticed it in Her suit jacket. Anyway, when we returned to the office Carol started keeping a spare pair or two; i simply make sure She has them and make sure i pack a pair for Her in my luggage when we travel - just in case. And i don't pay for any of the sundries; Carol gives me Her credit card to use for such things.

As for using Ma'am, well what's magic about that? True, it's not mandatory in all situations but we realized that we needed some standards put in place to counter an ingrained patriarchal culture. Using Ma'am with a Woman who outranks you or with whom you are on unfamiliar terms is hardly unusual or inappropriate... Maybe what's unusual is that if you continually show disrespect, you are shown the door...

Finally, yes, Carol and a few other Women do call me bitch - it's not an insult, it's an honor. Women in our company are expected to be polite to men as well (although 'sir' is not used and is looked on as too patriarchal). And just to make it clear, there are a very few Women who call me bitch...


Anonymous said...

Sounds like a tough day at work, but i expect you love it. i just love the shoe products on hand to shine and buff as required, and i'm glad you have hard floors and not carpet, those heels need to be heard!

i think i would not like to be called 'bitch' though i understand it's sentiment in your case. i always use respectful language to women (and men) and whilst i like to be ordered around at home (just because i do) i think at work you cannot assume others will get the same thrill.

thanks dennis, loving this blog right now!


(i have responded to the silly comments on this thread elsewhere).

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to AW above:

i have a tough work environment but love it. Not to get you confused, but everyone is treated with respect. 'bitch' can be offensive depending on the context in which it's used. To me 'bitch' is a compliment, as i explained in a prior posting...