The board
is assembled for our weekly staff meeting. Carol enters, “Good morning, Ladies,”
She says, and it’s all business from that moment forward. Each manager will go
through Her department’s activities and issues. i take a seat to Carol’s right
and open my steno book. While i’m at the meeting because i run a department,
it’s no secret that my ability to take shorthand would have me here even if
weren’t a manager. i frequently sit in on Carol’s highest-level, most sensitive
meetings because of shorthand. i'll record the proceedings in detail, including
developing a report to send to the attendees for their approval and add any
issues they may want noted before making it part of the current record.
Carol is a
capable and personable executive, but She is a Business Woman and She means
business. By Her own admission, She’s a Bitch first and a Lady second. She
wants Her staff to take the initiative, and there’s hell to pay when She
perceives they haven’t – we’ll see an example of that today, and it won’t be
tom or me on the receiving end.
This week
after routine updates, we have hiring on the agenda, specifically eight offers
for a variety of technical positions that are going to be offered to
applicants, all recent college grads, three men and five Women. The Female
candidates are well known to us, we’ve employed all of them as interns
throughout their academic preparation. Their qualifications are impeccable. All things being equal, we’d hire a Woman over
a man but it rarely comes to that; Women are presenting excellent credentials
compared to many male applicants.
Carol and
other executive Women have structured a college outreach and a variety of
internal programs targeted at attracting Women to technical careers and
ensuring they succeed. We’re all committed Feminists and believe that economic
empowerment is absolutely essential to Women overcoming the still-too-prevalent
sexist attitudes and structures that confront them.
“Why are we
hiring so many men?” Carol wants to know. “We can’t find three Women? How about
two Women, or even one?” She asks, obviously disturbed. Carol is assured that
the three men have unique skills – mobile applications development – that we
need. “So three Women were denied positions,” Carol asks, looking to Joan, our
HR manager. “Not yet, but Yes,” Joan responds sheepishly. “Putting aside mobile
applications, were they good candidates?” Carol asks. “Oh, yes, very good
candidates,” Joan responds. “So we have three talented Women who are going to
work for competitors? Am I right?” Joan stammers a bit, wanting to extricate
Herself from a touchy situation. Carol doesn’t want to hear Joan’s response. “Well,
hire the men and make offers to the three Women, too,” insists Carol, “and make
sure they are focused on mobile applications once we get them in here.” “Yes,
Ma’am,” Joan responds, trying to raise a concern about budgets. Carol cuts Joan off, “Just get it done! I’ll
worry about budgets. And I want you in here at eight Wednesday morning to
review your progress, and I want progress!”
The meeting
lasts for an hour, then Carol brings it to a close with Her traditional send-off,
“OK, Ladies, have a good week!” Carol, still perturbed by Joan, stops Her on
the way out and requests a meeting with the Dean of Computer Science at the
college that we so generously support – subject: mobile applications. Carol and
i meet immediately afterward; i’ll be following up with the various staff
members, particularly Joan. Carol is angry with Joan, but i try and calm Her by
recalling all that Joan has done for our company. i remind Her that Joan has
been our HR manager since we became a Woman-owned company and that She’s driven
significant change:
§
Taken
us from being a place where even the most talented Women couldn’t get ahead to
one where Female management was the norm.
§
Traditionally
Female departments are now 100% female-staffed AND -managed
§
Drove
our university outreach and mentoring programs
§
Doubled
the number of Women in technical positions and tripled the number of Female
technical managers
§
Greatly
changed the company culture, particularly male attitudes about Women – no small
feat!
§
Improved
the lot of Women in traditional secretarial and administrative positions by
increasing salaries and creating paths for advancement such as ‘office manager’
positions
§
Hired
men into traditionally Female secretarial and administrative positions. Her
efforts and more attractive salaries are attracting male candidates. Men in
these roles are typically supervised by Female office managers. If current
trends continue, our company will soon have secretarial and administrative
positions staffed by a majority of men.
§
Established
a mentoring program for Women
§
Launched
a golf program for Women; Joan sees golf as a necessary business skill
Carol, sees
my point and i convince Her She should have lunch with Joan on Wednesday to
discuss these issues – besides, i tell Her, it seems like our University Dean
dropped the ball on mobile applications, not Joan. “Set it up,” Carol commands,
as She abruptly turns to leave, the cadence of Her heels on the hardwood floor
announcing Her departure. i take great satisfaction in calling Joan and having
Her reserve time on Her schedule for a Wednesday lunch with Carol.
–d
13 comments:
For all you Women and men in or contemplating flr.; here is an eye opener. Check out the upper management at Buffalo Wild Wings (http://ir.buffalowildwings.com/management.cfm) the sports bar aimed at men, and according to a recent article in Bloomberg magazine, the fastest growing restaurant franchise. Of eight top positions, five are held by Women including CEO. This is outstanding. What man would not love to get their coffee in the morning or run their errands and just be submissive to them.
"the cadence of Her heels on the hardwood floor announcing Her departure" - love it
great post, what a meeting. how do you stay professional and not just drool all over the place :) - but seriously, no mobile skills, that's a crime, and She knew exactly what to do, get them on-board and train them up.
Here's to a future of powerful women calling the shots from the boardroom to the bedroom. Sure a few of us males will be trampled along the way but who would not gladly lay down and on the ground and gaze up at those heels as the walked all over you.
AW
dennis responds to AW just above:
Appreciate your comments and observations.
Carol's heels on the hardwood floor are one of many little power plays that She exercises. When you're with Carol or the Women of Her staff you know who's in charge.
It is sometime hard to stay professional, but i do. It's what Carol expects of me. She expects that i'll keep accurate records and later carry out Her specific business instructions and agenda; i carry out Her personal wishes and agenda later, doing things like running lunch time errands and the like.
As for calling the shots, frankly, it's mostly Women doing that at our company and if you're going to have any expectation of longevity, well, you're going to have to learn to like it - fortunately, not too hard to do! The future looks bright for Women and their collective agenda and for men smart enough to go along.
d
I am a retirement and Benefits specialist, and part of my job is to counsel employees along those lines. I am a privileged male having one of 7 such executive positions. 4 of the 7 are women, and because most of the upper management are women, soon all the counseling will be done by women as well. Women have increasingly proven that they are superior to men in most ways. I am also a frustrated submissive man who has always longed for a Female-led marriage relationship, and a female-led household, which never materialized because my wife was never able to break out of the antiquated and ineffective male-as-leader model, even though she, like most women, is more capable to lead, manage, and make decisions.
To the professional point, often male employees bring their wives to the sessions. I quickly learned that those are all female-led relationships, and even though I don't ignore the male employee (that would be unprofessional), it becomes apparent in all these cases that I am to address the woman who is clearly in control of his career and the finances of the household.
I provide excellent customer service to everyone, but when women call me for retirement or benefits counseling, things are a little different. First, Women, because they are more dominant and I generally see them as superior, get my direct line, and I make appointments with them directly. Men go through normal channels. As I said, I provide excellent customer service to everyone, but I am especially careful to serve women employees. Somehow, word gets around, and I find that my appointments with employees are about 80% with women. I don't know if that's because there are more women employees in government, or because they sense a submissive (and very knowledgeable) professional whom they can not only get information from, but easily manipulate to go the extra mile for them.
Even in my government office, most of the managers and top wage-earners are women, as well as most of the employees, by 60% to 40%. They are simply better managers and a lot more fun to work for than the few male managers.
Stan
dennis responds to "Stan" above:
Thank you for your excellent post. i can sympathize with your being frustrated at not having your Wife be more assertive in your marriage since other men have expressed the same sentiment. i'm fortunate to have domineering Women in my marriage and family as well as at work. While your Wife hasn't picked up the mantle of leadership i sense that your submissive side is given opportunities to come to the fore at work. i love hearing stories of Women in charge in the workplace and beyond and i love hearing of men who appreciate Women's innate superiority and behave accordingly, as do you.
i love your providing an extra measure of service to Women. i do the same at work, at home, and in numerous other situations. You're so right that when Women sense a submissive male they will manipulate him to their benefit and, i think they also sense, a progressive gentleman's extreme satisfaction with such treatment. Just as Women know the alpha men to date, so does word get around as to men who can be pushed around and Women take advantage. Many Women are very assertive with me right from the start because they know they can be and that i'll respond favorably to their treatment. i don't get asked, They never say 'please' They just say "do it!" and i do!
Women are a priority in my life and they get my full attention no matter the task. i largely avoid or ignore men at work, preferring to assist and serve the Women. Again, word has gotten around and Women take advantage of me while men, for the most part, don't approach me for anything.
Lady Susan (dennis' Mother-in-Law) also responds to Stan:
Stan,
I loved your post! Your experience rings true to what is happening at work and at home all across the country. That is women asserting themselves and taking control. As you say, women have “increasingly proven that they are superior to men”. We're seeing the same thing; women are taking a majority of managerial positions and are ready to go further, to take over more management roles. Woman in charge is the new reality. All of us, men and women, need to live with that new reality.
I was pleased to see that you recognize the control women assert over their husband's money and career and that you tailor your services to this reality. You are so right; women have the power and so deserve the added attention and special access you provide. I managed my husband's money and investments and I did so competently. The investment firms we used not only had integrity but they recognized my authority in managing these assets.
Still, even with the rapid rise of women, all too many people ignore women and speak to the man as though he – not she – was the decision maker. Such people are wrong not to recognize the leadership role of women. By not doing so they are costing themselves and their businesses money. A local feminist group offers businesses a series of workshops to help them align their customer service to the new realities of empowered women. A local car dealer increased his business significantly by putting workshop suggestions into practice. This by simply recognizing that women have significant influence in nearly 80% of car purchases and paying attention to their needs.
I'm sad to hear that your wife has not reached out for the power you so desire to give her. Yes, there are women who, even in these changing times, hold on to old ways. I've advised men who wanted a female-led relationship but had a reluctant wife to simply refuse the leadership role. Start small. For example, don't decide on where to go out for dinner or even whether to go out to dinner at all. Let her decide. Don't manage the check book. Tell her you're too busy and pass that task to her. At the same time take up some of the domestic work she may be doing to free up her time for both relaxation and doing the checkbook. We've seen this approach work more often than it's failed. Who knows?
--Lady Susan
no part 5?
Can i just say thank you to Lady Susan for taking the time to comment on this page, it's such a thrill.
To stan, i am lucky to have a naturally dominant wife but after finding this blog i realised how little i really demonstrated my worship of her. i recite the words on the home page each day, and find a new way every day to treat her like the Goddess that She is. i try and approach each day afresh to woo her as if we were teenagers again and we've never been happier. FLR or not i think this appreciation will not go unnoticed and increases the Lady's confidence that she IS indeed a Goddess worthy of your adoration and is more capable than you of running your lives. Aside from that it's brilliant fun thinking up new ways to impress Her.
Lady Susan is so correct in her words, make sure you give Her 'time' as a gift so She has the space to discover Herself. Listen properly and give her your time to make sure you do!
Good luck, and keep reading and posting to this blog - it's a great place.
AW
Unfortunately patriarchy has left its toll and many women are reluctant to lead even though they would be great at it. This is why the economic empowerment of women is especially important; a woman who holds a position of power at the workplace (where she gets used to being a figure of authority and giving orders) will often be in charge at home as well.
dennis responds to eust just above:
Thank you for your post. You are correct -- Women who hold power in the workplace are predisposed to having control at home, too, and it benefits Her and Her spouse. Patriarchy is an entrenched idea but it can easily be overcome if Women are given the right encouragement and mentoring. Increasingly companies are developing programs that encouragement Women to pursue leadership positions so long out of their reach. It's beneficial at work and at home and it opens new vistas for Women and men.
d
Lady Susan responds to AW (two above):
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. Your trying to “approach each day afresh” is a wonderful idea. I suspect your “naturally dominant wife” - Lucky man! - would appreciate something new in the way of your serving her, acknowledging her superiority, or demonstrating your deference on a regular basis. Little things you add to your daily repertoire will be noticed, appreciated, and likely expected going forward. Some suggestions? Well, how do you address her? Women in our family are "ma'am," always! There are others, of course -- 'my queen' and 'madame' are always appropriate; or simply ask her how you may address her and then follow through!
And we women love being served. I assume you do this, and make it a point to serve your wife and her women friends when they visit. Women love showing how well trained their husbands are (or in my case, my son-in-law, LOL!).
And what is the number one thing we women like? It's being listened to! And I don't mean 'obeyed' here, I mean listening to what women have to say! Too many men trivialize what women have to say despite women being superior to men. Often men in our family are invited to sit quietly in the back of the room and just listen. Men can learn a lot from women, and our men do. So much so that they often linger when serving a gathering of women to hear what's being said and routinely ask permission to sit quietly to overhear women's conversation. Listening to your wife is a wonderful way of acknowledging her superiority. As my daughter puts it, "men should shut up and listen!"
In our family expectations are high. After all, women are Goddesses and should be treated accordingly. Our men are expected to demonstrate their deference to women; and are always looking for new ways to do so. While women in the family have laid down our expectations for male behavior – we call them protocols, chivalry, really – men are the ones who are constantly adding to them. Yes, many of the little rituals, rules, routines, behaviors, and forms of address have originated with our men. They feel an ongoing need to do more since they understand that women deserve more. As for the women, well, we agree with the men!
--Lady Susan
Gosh. Thanks for replying Lady Susan, your thoughts and suggestions are much appreciated. i usually address her as My Lady, or ma'am or My Queen or My Goddess. not always though, i admit.
i really love to server Her and Her friends when they come round. it's all very 'vanilla' but i try to be as deferential as i can to all women.
Before reading this blog, i thought i listened, but then realised actually i did not! i interrupted or did not listen properly.
i will endevour to do more to serve my Goddess.
thank you again for taking the time to reply :)
AW
I really enjoyed this piece, – thanks so much for articulating fantasy v. reality in such a sweet, engaging way. A pleasure to read!
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