Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Female Superiority - Conversion Experience, Part 2


As I wrote in Part 1 of this two-part post, my conversion to belief in the idea and reality of female superiority has been gradual. Perhaps the “aha” moment — when years of accumulated evidence reached a tipping point — occurred as I read that first email from Beckie Sue, describing her own reluctant journey of discovery, from FS skeptic to convert.

By the time I had reached her concluding thoughts—that “female superiority is only natural and is showing up more every day [and] someday it will be accepted by everyone”— I realized that not only had she hooked me, but reeled me in. Oh, I was still thrashing around in terminal protest, but I was definitely netted.

It felt like all the parts of her argument, which so closely paralleled my own experience (with my wife and all our married friends and family), had fitted and clicked together, permanently. Like one of those three-dimensional puzzles I can’t disassemble. All at once the matter-of-factness of female superiority was just there—everywhere I looked—and, in Beckie Sue’s phrase, “only natural.”

It was certainly natural in my marriage. I’m wedded to an Oracle. She makes wise and prudent decisions on the fly, weighing all relevant factors including how the outcome will affect each person in the equation. I have no clue how she does it; she didn’t graduate from Hogwarts, but she’s a full-fledged wizard nonetheless. I’ve learned, over the two-decade course of our marriage, and considerable dating time before that, to take every problem to her and then do exactly what she says. Like an applicant, or supplicant, to the Oracle of Delphi, say.

Since I have learned that many other husbands, especially of the wife-worshipping persuasion, do likewise, and for the same reason. In our house and theirs, Mother Knows Best.

So I was well primed to accept and promote the proposition of female superiority. Except for the inescapable corollary, i.e., masculine inferiority, or, more specifically, my own inferiority vis-à-vis my wife. Female superiority can be taken with a spoonful of sugar; male inferiority has to be swallowed straight and it can stick in one’s craw. Was I “man” enough to truly accept that lowered status, and live it? Frankly, Beckie Sue wondered the same thing. “I don't think you have accepted female superiority as a fact yet,” she wrote me, “though you want to.”

But how could I justify holding out on my secondary status in the marriage? It was writ plain for all to see—for our kids, family and friends, waiters and waitresses, car salesmen, the tax guy, hotel clerks. Everyone knew where the marital power resided, who made the decision, who handled the money, who exercised the superior judgment. In fact, the areas in which I was subordinate to my wife just kept—and keep—expanding, day by month by year.

My paycheck was direct deposited to my wife’s private account, just as in Beckie Sue’s marriage. (And for good reasons, which perhaps I can detail another time.) Again as in Beckie Sue’s marriage, all “our” decisions were wife-made and final. I was automatically out of the loop on almost everything of consequence, from permission for sleepovers to vacation plans. Arguments had become a thing of the past because I deferred to the Oracle on all matters great and small, and had grown comfortable doing it (and increasingly uncomfortable when circumstances required me to decide important matters without benefit of her wisdom and common sense).

And my wife was, and is, at ease with the female-first order and hierarchy. She knew her decisions were superior, that her judgment to mine was as a mother’s to a child’s. Even in supposedly masculine areas of expertise, like fixing mechanical things or organizing home-improvement projects, I have learned humbly to take the problem to the Oracle. She will study the matter until she finds a practical solution.

Anyway, I was excited after reading Beckie’s Sue’s email, and immediately sent a copy to my wife, wanting to share it, wanting her reaction. She emailed me back, “That was quite a letter from that woman.” Only later did I realize that a likely reason that Beckie’s Sue’s ideas had resonated with my wife was that my wife had already—quietly and calmly—reached the same convictions. Namely, that women are superior.

And I wondered: How many women are similarly convinced of female superiority and, out of social courtesy or reverse chivalry, go through the motions of according males a status they we not merit? I suspect it might be a very large percentage.

“I have asked my wife if she thought she was superior and she didn't answer,” wrote one commenter to the Subservient Husband blog. “I asked if she thought I was wrong in saying she was superior, and she was unable to disagree with me on that point.” Exactly.

But philosophical acceptance of female superiority is one thing. Living day by day in a home and family structure that is ruled by that superior creature is another. That’s the New World Order I have been coming to terms with. And, perhaps surprisingly, the more I have accepted it deep down in my being, the happier I have become. Not only is female superiority “natural,” like Beckie Sue says, but it just feels right. It’s more in sync with the actual power balance in our marriage. I am a satellite, circling her, magnetized by her. She has the gravitas. She is the center of my universe.

Again to quote Beckie Sue: ”Most husbands today understand, even if subconsciously, that they are inferior to their wives.” Absolutely true in my case. I realized that I had always felt like an impostor playing the role of man of the house, lord of the manor, and all that. Once I dropped that leading-man pretense and accepted my supporting role, I felt liberated and, to use a modern pop psych word, “authentic.”

Now, finally, I have become comfortable with my true and subordinate status. I am free to enjoy serving her, my superior, the love of my life, a Goddesss incarnate who I am privileged to live with, to adore and worship and obey.

As a bonus, I am enjoying the company of a large online support group of happily “inferior” guys who have also had their eyes opened.

In his admirable blog, Subservient Husband explores his own sense of “submissive” liberation and his growing sense of pride in serving a superior creature:

“I have come to appreciate her leadership… I am thankful she gives me the benefit of her direction. I do understand my wife is more intelligent too. It is a big thing to admit since it goes to the core of self-preservation kinds of things, but I feel I have worked though that now…
“I think the term [inferior] is being shunned due to the societal image it conjures up. In my view, it is healthy to acknowledge and accept that my wife is better at things than me and my willingness to submit to her authority is in my best interest.”


For Subservient Husband, acceptance and understanding of his inferiority offers an additional benefit. As a service-oriented submissive, he finds the idealization of his wife and the consequent imbalance of power a wonderful motivator, energizing him in his daily chores of housecleaning, child care, wifely pampering, and so forth.

Typical of the lively debate encouraged by Subservient Husband, his post was followed by a long and intense exchange of comments pro and con. I especially enjoyed two strongly supportive reactions from wives:

“[My husband] knows he is inferior to me and he loves being inferior to me.”

“Accepting being inferior (or accepting your husband as inferior) is hard after being taught otherwise all your life. Thank you for not backing down. This is actually hard for me to understand and write here. But male inferiority is to be accepted and embraced by both wife and husband. Once both accept their respective role, a relationship will be much smoother.”

Or, as Subservient Husband himself puts it: “Some may think that living as the inferior in a relationship would be cause for discontent. For me it is a realization I acknowledge and find I thrive on the recognition of."

As Beckie Sue has said, “If men only could understand that female superiority would be the ideal for them.” So, thank you, Beckie Sue, for opening my eyes to this blindingly beautiful fact of life, one which I will never forget.

On this same topic, I came across the following quote from a now defunct FLR message board. I’m guessing it was written by the opposite (and superior) sex:

“Why does female superiority make males happy? They are happy because they have found their place in this world. They have found a reason to exist, a reason which they can intuitively link to the natural order of things. To learn that they are inferior does not make males unhappy, on the contrary; they state it with pride. Males who have understood female superiority know that at their place they can be useful, and this makes them happy. They also realize how lucky they are to share this planet with such wonderful beings as women. To serve a superior female is not degrading; on the contrary, it is an honor for males to serve their superiors, It is assuming their rightful place and duty in the order of the universe.”

Note: I am, of course, aware that the topic of female superiority is debatable, and tends to excite strong reactions, pro and con. But, as this is a personal “conversion” post, I’ve steered clear of all that, or tried to, as well as use of the more inflammatory term, “female supremacy.” Perhaps another time.

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19 comments:

BOB said...

MR Remond
I would agree with you that Subservient Husband has one of the very best FLR blogs on the internet

Ayesha said...

Try to read this.
http://ayeshafonseca.blogspot.com/2011/03/normal-0-false-false-false-en-us-x-none.html

And maybe a few other entries as well :)

subservient-husband said...

Mr. Remond,

Personally, I feel Ms. Ayesha to be a vanguard in the philosophy. I wish my wife would allow me to follow her blog, as the little I have seen has struck a cord of truth with me. I find her a capable leader of the philosophy. She does rightly point out that society has a long way to go in acceptance of female superiority and there is still an immense amount of unjust disparity. For her clarity in this, I am thankful.

My wife too agrees I am best as a follower. It is openly understood between us. Not only am I submissive, but in my case, I am under the direction of a woman who is superior to me in almost all respects. For us the fact that I am conversely 'inferior' is a simple statement of fact. My wife has directed me to not back down when heckled otherwise. She thinks it is a concept I should stand up for to defend, and I too agree and am thankful for her direction.

-SH

Mark Remond said...

Ms. Ayesha & Subservient Husband, I'm afraid, Ms. Ayesha, that your blog is too deep for me. My "conversion" to female superiority is, I think like S-H's, pragmatic and personal. I suppose I could launch a theoretical defense, but I don't live in a theoretical universe. I'm talking about my relation to my wife and most of the women I know and work with. As I say, it "feels" right. I'm very much a right-brain person. I like to synthesize, not analyze. I write fiction, avoid getting over my head and out of my depth in weighty matters. This blog is, as you may have noticed, pretty much froth and dessert. Which is why I have not encouraged word-duels-to-the-death among commenters. I enjoy the writings of many of the bloggers and websiters you disparage or dismiss, and feel that there is plenty of room in the FLR tent for them. In any case (and I am directing most of this still to Ms. Ayesha), as you must have surmised, I am mostly a vanilla guy with a vanilla blog (and just a few dark fantasies in my bottom drawer). But I am flattered that you chose to comment here, all the same.

Ayesha said...

Well, in contrast to many of the braggers in Cyberspace, at least u r open about being vanilla. I can appreciate that.

My blog is not that deep. It's only based on a reality not rooted in patriarchal soil.

Mark Remond said...

PS - we seem to share a love of Chopin....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0VhKERbhkE&feature=related

Mark Remond said...

Note: I just had to delete two comments, one apparently from the jerk who had earlier hijacked and defaced Beckie Sue's blog, and a response from subservient husband that would make no sense after the deletion of the false comment.

I'm-Hers said...

Mark,
After reading both of the posts on this topic I gave it some thought and made comments on my own blog. Rather than blocking and copying the post in here I am including a link. Bottom line. I think the domme/sub lifestyle is not about superiority/inferiority but about power. Regardless your post was well written and quite thoughtful. Thanks!
Link: http://im-hers.blogspot.com/2011/05/female-superiority-my-take.html

Ayesha said...

Ah yes, Chopin! And the great ones who know how to play him, to open his soul, and to resurrect him.

ALL HERS said...

No doubt that all of the readers of this very fine blog agree that women are superior to men. My wife is superior to me in many ways, the same ways that also apply to other women. Women are more practical, reasonable, and not as quick to make a decision as a man. They will check all options before making a large purchase and read all instuctions before using the new product. Makes sense right, then why don't men do that?

Also. women are more romantic, loving, and smell so good. They have the privledge of granting us tremendous pleasure through intercourse ( a privledge they sometimes allow us).

If all women kept their men horny and allowed them to cum less than ten times per year (my wife's theory), then the world would be much calmer and men would really show how subservient they are to women. Women I do feel make better political leaders. They really have no skeletons in the closet, except for those involving their husband's past activities. They speak well, are well groomed, and overall make an excellent appearance making speeches.

But I am preaching to the converted. We love this site because we men are all into WLM or FLR.

Ayesha said...

ALL HERS wrote: "No doubt all of the readers of this very fine blog agree that women are superior to men."

All means all, and not, all minus 1, minus 2, minus………

My conclusion? Pick one, or 2, or………
1) ALL HERS can't read.
2) ALL HERS believes that only men can read this blog.
3) ALL HERS supports that women should have no voice here.
4) ALL HERS declares that my view on the matter is of inferior quality and should be removed from this fine blog asap.

In case u would want more, let me know, and i will take ur request into consideration.

Mark Remond said...

ALL HERS - Well, I and thou agree, at least.

Mark Remond said...

ALL HERS - PS: I also tend to come home with the wrong item, after she sends me shopping; and then, not only do I not carefully read the manual, but I usually trash or lose the packaging, plus the receipt, so that it can't be returned properly. Other than that, I'm a careful shopper! No wonder I'm not allowed to make purchases over $20 or so...

ALL HERS said...

Ayesha;

Something is not clear with the comments after this post. Men and women, to be more exact, who read this blog feel that women are superior. It is a site for WLM and FLR. No offense was meant to you or anyone, just an observation reading all of the past comments. Your comments are hard to decifer to be truthful.

Ayesha said...

"..hard to decifer"? Maybe so. But it's not as bad as ur generalizations.

Here's one which should be easy to decipher: The idea that one’s gender predestinates one to be superior or inferior is laughable, and certainly not backed by scientific findings.

Anonymous said...

Many women want to get their hands,lips and padles on the very best most superior inferior they can.

Though its nice to have a Womyn prove her superiority it doesn't sound so good for a male to constantly prove just how inferior he is.

The majority of males and an even bigger majority of Females do not agree with Female Supremacy/Superiority.

Dominant Womyn want to be oftenn worshipped as individuals rather than as part of some larger amorphous group.

However if enough individuals say they are superior to their menfolk then it defacto leads to Females being as a group superior.And theydo say that it establishing a Matriarchy one Womyn and one man at a time is the way it will happen.

Anonymous said...

Directed @ ALL HERS:

>>Men and women, to be more exact, who read this blog feel that women are superior.<<

No, they do NOT; at least not all. This may be a blog for FLM, but not everyone wo lives in a FLM (or wo desires to live in a FLM) believes in the superiority of one gender over the other. Female supremacy is not a requirement for being a 24/7 dominant or submissive.

For example: In MY relationship I am in charge. Always. We are living D/s as a lifestyle, not just occasional. I make the decisions, he follows, our marriage is clearly female led - and we are both very happy with this arrangement.
But does this make me superior? Does this make every single man on this planat inferior to me or avery other woman? No, of course not. As Ayesha said, that's laughable and neither I, nor my husband believe in female superiority. We are living in a FLM, because this makes us happy. It is self realization. We are not - I repeat: not! - living in a FLM, because we believe that women are more intelligent, more responsible, more incorruptible and more valuable than men. Honestly: If he were a believer in the superiority of all females I would question his sanity and my desire to be in a relationship with him would decrease considerably. I couldn't be together with a man who is not subserviant to me, but I am also not interested in men who feel inferior and see themselves as dumb in comparision with women. No way.

So, your generalizations are nonsense, ALL HERS. We are not all female suprematists.

Greetings, Sharon

Mark Remond said...

To Anonymous and others who have posted such articulate comments about the basic equality of the sexes, philosophically, ethically, religiously, scientifically, whatever.
My enthusiastic promotion of Beckie Sue's ideas stems from my own experience with wives and husbands in our circles and their relative grasp of what matters most in human affairs and social and family matters, and my general feelings of awe and reverence toward women. I do not, however, extrapolate that into a world view. It remains personal with me, as does this blog. I make no pretense at holding forth on philosophical or biological verities, though I may have touched on one or two in my first book.

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend is completely in charge and I've learnt to accept that. At first I was upset but I realize now that females in general are much smarter, logical, and generally superior to men.