I never imagined, when I began this blog back in 2007, that my imaginings and scribblings would actually influence marriages and romantic relationships. I kinda hoped that might be the case, mainly by leading more husbands and boyfriends into the path of perpetual courtship and wife worship. I have been especially delighted, for instance, to learn, via several emails and comments, that there are wives who have their husbands read aloud to them at night from my books.
But the notion that girlfriends and wives would take “male management” ideas shared here and implement them verbatim in their own budding FLR relationships… well, as the title above says, Who Knew? With Elise Sutton, perhaps, but moi? It seemed farfetched and fantastical. But exactly that has been occurring.
For instance, my favorite guest blogger Beckie Sue took the blog post of Au876 on Financial Control, Part 1 (and yes, there is a Part 2) and applied several ideas from it more or less as written to her own marriage. As a result, her husband was instructed to surrender his debit card, had his his paycheck direct-deposited to his wife’s private checking account (just like me), and was restricted to $10 pocket money, with instructions to inform her promptly if he spent any part of it, so she could “replenish it.” “He had questions and doubts,” Beckie Sue writes, “but I told him the decision is final and permanent.” Moreover, she forwarded the Au876 posting (about husbands surrendering complete financial control to their wives) to “a couple of my friends to read and consider implementing some of the ideas.”
Whew! And as you are about to read, from the anonymous and adventurous young man whose postings I featured in “Starting Early on an FLR,” my blog on female-led shopping inspired his girlfriend to design mall outings for him in which he was basically the beast of burden for her and a girlfriend and… well, I’ll let him tell it.
But let me say first that no, I do not feel like a traitor to my gender for inspiring these women (and perhaps many others) to exert such increasing and sometimes capricious control over their husbands and boyfriends. I suspect these dudes are actually reveling in their new female-led constraints, despite discomfort, reduced status, etc. Please let me know, guys, if I’m wrong in this.
Now, to Anonymous and his experience in "Girlfriend Led Shopping"*:
Anonymous
My girlfriend and I had gone shopping a couple times early in our relationship. This was before it even started developing into what it is now. Those trips were the typical co-ed shopping trip; she would spend forever looking at stuff while I would wander off and either sit and wait somewhere or find a more interesting store to shop in (think video games).
It ended up being equally miserable for each of us, so we both sort of came up with an unwritten rule that shopping would be something that we'd each do on our own. Neither of us had reason to reconsider this unwritten rule.
That is until we worked our way back to your set of blog entries. She decided a trip to the mall (or “mauling” as I normally referred to it) would be a good way to evaluate my progress. She called her best friend and made arrangements for the following Saturday.
Prior to our departure on Saturday, she went over the rules. From the time we get there until we leave, I don't get to sit down. I carry all the bags and I'm not allowed to set them down. When they want me to, I also carry their purses. I am not allowed to fidget or appear to be bored. I have to stay three paces behind, yet still keep up with them.
Even though there was reasonably close parking, I dropped them off curbside in front of one of the big department stores, parked the car, and then caught up with them inside. They were sampling some of the perfumes. Without a word, they hand me their purses and go back to exploring the merchandise. I began my day as an obedient valet.
The first hour or so was actually easy and I would have to admit kind of fun. It's weird how it feels to be a good servant; it kind of gives a sense of pride. I diligently followed them around carrying their bags for them, carrying their purses when they wanted me to (which was actually most of the time), doing the holding all of the garments they wanted to try on, retrieving other sizes, and returning stuff they weren't interested in.
There was one incident where she gave me a dress to put back on the rack. The saleslady that was helping them tried to grab it saying that she could take care of it. My girlfriend chimed in and told her not to worry about it because I love doing stuff like that. The saleslady gave me a quizzical look. I just smiled and said, “I live for this” as I put the dress back on the hanger and headed to the rack to put it back up. My girlfriend's friend watched the exchange and got a good kick out of it. I didn't hear the comment the saleslady made after I walked away, but I bet it would have been interesting.
After they picked out the stuff they wanted, they'd retrieve their purses, and my girlfriend would give me the debit card and tell me where they were headed for next, leaving me to take the stuff to the register and pay for it.
For the most part, this wasn't a problem. However, one store we visited sold accessory type stuff and was fairly busy. One of my standing rules is that if I am in line and a woman gets in line behind me, I have to let her go in front of me. I was the only guy in the store. I ended up letting about 10 women go in front of me. The only exception to the rule is I don't have to let them go in front of me if they are displaying insignia from a sorority different from my girlfriend's. Luckily, I spotted Greek lettering on one lady's necklace that allowed me to secure my position in line.
Needless to say, my girlfriend was not pleased that it took me so long to catch back up with them. She accepted my excuse when I explained why I was delayed, but said that I would still have to make up for being late.
After what was probably about two hours, they decided it was time for lunch. We headed to the food-court. Before getting there, she reminded me that the rules about carrying the bags and not being able to sit down still apply in the dining area. Then she queried about how much cash I had left over from my allowance. We got to the food-court and they picked out what they wanted. My girlfriend relayed the order to me, added what I was to get for myself, and sent me off. She likes having me eat minimal sized meals when we're with her friends.
She noticeably didn't give me the debit card, so I bought the food with the remains of my weekly allowance, which was barely enough to cover the cost. This was obviously intentional since she had made sure how much money I had to begin with.
Carrying the food along with all the bags was a tricky juggling act, but I managed to complete it without spilling anything. Fortunately, the ladies picked a tall table so it wouldn't look too awkward for me to be standing there while eating.
While walking through the mall, there were other couples attempting to shop together. All of them were where my girlfriend and I were at the start. The guys were moping around looking disinterested, attempting to spot where the nearest seat was, and wishing they could take a detour to one of the electronic stores or something of more interest. My girlfriend would spot such couples and make sure to parade me right in front of them. She would also ask something as we passed such as, “are you able to keep up with us?” I would diligently respond with a smile, “Yes, dear.” She loves showing off and making other women jealous. I will admit it makes me feel good to help her do so.
As time went by, the number of bags grew and grew. While the weight of each bag wasn't a whole lot, the compound effect of multiple bags began to get taxing. While her girlfriend was in the fitting room, I requested to consolidate some of the bags together so that I wouldn't have to juggle so many of them. She merely responded by pressing her finger down on my upper lip, her way of telling me she didn't want me talking.
All that constant walking and standing was starting to really make my legs tired. I had to more and more make a conscious effort to remain well behaved. Even though it's where they would spend the most time just trying stuff on, I came to really like it when they went to the shoe stores. Helping her try on different shoes allowed me to kneel down and rest the bags on the ground.
I could also sense that they were starting to get tired as well (as if women could actually get tired of shopping). They would start doing a tag team at some of the fitting rooms, where one would sit and relax while the other was trying stuff on. Of course, that was not an option for me as I was either running garments back and forth or playing my role as a coat rack near the entrance to the fitting room.
Other women shopping or trying stuff on would seem to always make some comment, either directly to my girlfriend or her friend or open to everyone. The most common one was 'I need to get one of those.” Each time they'd say something, I could see my girlfriend beam a smile, reminding me again what this was all about. She would just tell them that the best thing about it was that I actually enjoyed shopping with her. I think she enjoyed the attention and comments as much as anything else.
The drive back to the house was a relief. It was the first opportunity to sit down that I had since driving to the mall in the morning. When we got back to the house she said that since it took me so long at that accessory store that I owed each of them a half hour of leg and foot massage. This probably would have been expected even if I didn’t have that blemish on my performance. I would give one of the ladies a massage while the other would be trying on all the different outfits and stuff they had bought, then they’d tag team swap. It probably ended up being about two hours.
After they were done, her girlfriend wrote her a check for her portion of the purchases and left. My girlfriend gave me her review of the day. She said I was much better behaved than way back when we first attempted shopping together. However, she added that she thought I was having to consciously work at enjoying it and that our goal should be that we get to the point where I don’t have to work at behaving and that it’s more natural. She summed it up saying, “On the whole, I had a good time. All of us had fun. I got a bunch of new stuff for my wardrobe, and I even made some money at it.” She folded up the check her friend gave her and stuck it in her purse. I do not expect she put it back in my account.
This all happened about six weeks ago and she’s decided that it’s time to make a return trip to the mall. She’s called another one of her friends (she says she has more fun when shopping with friends) and we’re about to head out.
Sorry about this being so long. I sometimes tend to ramble on. I also apologize for taking so long to post, but things have been busy for me and she doesn’t always consent to my internet time.
Do any of my readers wish Anonymous had written shorter? I bet not. As for me, I can’t wait to read his next installment. And, as for his precocious girlfriend, she is welcome to borrow anything she likes to expand her delightful dominion over him.
* You can read his original comments below the post “Wife-Led Shopping: The Ultimate Test, Part 2”.
13 comments:
I'm very happy to hear that women are using your writings to experiment with basic acts of female domination. I'm constantly amazed at how many women simply have no idea how much potential power they have in regard to such simple things as shopping, housework, etc.
I'm certain that the standard view of a dominant woman as a leather clad, whip wielding bitch is to blame, and though I certainly have my own moments as such, the more normal and mundane day-to-day uses of female domination are there to be had for those women who would simply try out their power and take control in these situations.
You say that you hoped that your writings would lead "more husbands and boyfriends into the path of perpetual courtship and wife worship" but I daresay, Mark, that if you approached ten married vanilla women, had them read your writings on wife worship, and dared them to practice what you preach about "male management", there'd be very few husbands who could resist the new control that these women would display.
It's simply much easier to develop a wife worshipping situation if it's the woman who initiates it. There are so many husbands out there who would jump (through hoops, if told to do so) at the opportunity to be the type of husbands that are described in the "shopping trip" episodes and others that you have re-printed. The blog world is dominated by such "wannabe" male subs, and I only wish that more women would recognize the potential for a much easier and (in my opinion) sexier lifestyle.
I, like Ms. Grey, enjoy reading accounts of women feeling comfortable displaying a docile man in their life. I see it as a sort of status symbol, now-a-days.
Lady Grey, Always a treat to hear from you. I agree with you, of course, and it seems like we are just a popular movie or TV show away from mainstreaming the FLR movement big time, not as a spoof, but for real. I think we may see it in the next few years. Meanwhile I do my best out here on the margins.
And, of course, S-H's perceptive comment follows perfectly, as more and more sophisticated women may indeed consider having a docile and obedient boyfriend or hubby as an essential status symbol. Considering that the "movement" was nonexistent or unspeakable say a dozen or fifteen years ago.
I should point out to Lady Gray that my girlfriend instigated this dynamic of our relationship. She is the one who’s been in the driver’s seat through most of this adventure we’ve been on.
I wasn’t really into this whole submissive thing before. I will admit to having a little bit of an interest in it, but I was still a teenager then and pretty much interested in anything that involved sex. Her strong assertive attitude was part of her personality that attracted me to her though, so it may have been something subconscious.
She basically manipulated and tricked me (she admits to it now) into wearing my chastity device. My life since then is probably most comparable to that proverbial frog sitting in a pot of warm water that keeps getting hotter and hotter.
I don’t say this to make it sound like she’s mean and doing this in a non-consensual way. Quite the contrary, I enjoy our relationship and wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s just that if she told me our relationship was going to be like this way back when we first started dating, I would have run away and not even looked back. She has masterfully convinced me to join her on this journey we’ve been on. I am eternally grateful to her for sticking with me during those early rocky moments as I have seen where my life would have been heading if she didn’t come in and take over the reins.
Lady Grey's comments are right on the money, so true (as usual). My wife has always been quite dominant, so when I asked her about six years ago to try out a WLM in a much broader way than we were doing, she jumped at the idea and now there is no going back she says. While before I helped her with housework, etc., now it is all mine and must be done often and to her very high standards.
As Anon mentions in his comment, he is now in chastity. Wives and girlfriends automatically limit their man's orgasms once they begin a WLM or FLR. I never mentioned that to my wife, she just began making me wait longer and longer. Finally she came up with her concept of no more than 10orgasms a year, although it is now down to 8. (I will have a few less this year, I have only been given the privledge of being allowed to cum 3 times so far this year. And it is the middle of May). She has me wait a minimum of 6 weeks before she may allow me to cum, and weeks or months are added for bad behavior, poor housework and any attitude problem she may see in me.
Mark, the letter you added is so true. Women love to shop and having their husband or boyfriend with them gives them an enormous power. They can tell them to go sit in the husbands chair or stay with them to hold their try on clothes.
My wife and I have been doing just this for many years. The day will begin (we are retired) and she will say, "today you are taking me to x,y,z stores and will stay right with me to hold everything. Then you will take me to a nice lunch, and I'll see what other stores I would like to visit". I might have had some plans of my own, but those are immediately cancelled. Sometimes in the store she will tell me to go off on my own to find her a nice outfit, and if she doesn't like it, I will get an hour of corner time when we arrive home, plus an additional week onto my 6.
The saleslady usually comes up to us and says she will put the clothes I am holding in a dressing room. My wife tells her "no thankyou, I prefer he hold them for me". If I have been good lately, after she is done with herself, we will go to the lingerie department where she will pick out a pair or 2 of panties for me, as well as herself.
So yes, having an obedient husband or boyfriend is a status symbol. She flaunts it to the salespeople, they look at me and know exactly what lifestyle we have. They see it more often now than in prior years. And that is a very good thing. Keep up the great work Mark, couples who find your blog now have the guidance and courage to begin a WLM, knowing that they are not alone.
Besides going having your B/F of husband walking behind you while shopping.
These days i am also seeing more and more man carrying baby and the milk bags walking behind the wife while she carries nothing except their own handbag.
More and more man are feeding the baby or changing the nappkins in the public area.
Thanks for all your posts!
I love the "shopping" tale. Wow, imagining it with my Wife and friend.... maybe someday soon. :) Z
Anonymous Z -- Me, too! But be ready to take advantage of any little opportunity of this kind, because it could arise quickly and unexpectedly... whenever you are with your wife and one or more of your girlfriends. Perhaps you can even encourage it in some way...
The luckiest men on earth are the ones who have asked their wives to initiate a wife led marriage. Telling her that your only goal is to worship her and please her, and to have her take control of your orgasms is the recipe for a very contented and happy life. When she says, "yes, I'll will try it", it opens the door for a life of intense feelings for one another and a closeness you never knew existed. Even when she now says, "no cumming for two additional weeks", and states the reason why, or just states the reason "because I can make you wait as long as I want", it is wondewrful.
Thanks for this great topic and letter. Although we don't shop with a friend, I do everything for her in the stores. And I am thrilled to be allowed by my wife to do it.
Is this site closed?
Because i am checking every day if there is a new post
Anonymous, fair question! I apologize for letting things slide here for a few weeks. I've been working, aside from my day job, on another writing project. I expect to post something in a day or two.
Most of the time I prefer to shop on my own. However, from time to time it's great fun to have elliot attend to me.
Of course he carries my purse. And of course any purchases. But he is of real use when I want to try things on. He can stand outside the dressing room holding the garments I have selected. I like his opinion and will come out and ask and get the next thing to be tried on.
I have had several women comment on what a nice husband I have. I accept their compliments but try to point out that, as well as nice, he's obedient. And I like to say this where he, and the other ladies in the shop, can hear it.
I do not mention that he is usually wearing a long line panti girdle as he attends me.
Hannah Jay- what a delight and what an honor to have you comment on my blog. I have been a longtime follower of your and your husband's blogs and books. You are the ne plus ultra of FLR blogs, elegant in narrative style and in illustration.
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