Thursday, September 20, 2012


I have been asked how I learned how to sew on buttons—and became skilled in other domestic arts. I thought I’d share the answer as a separate post for the possible benefit of many husbands.

My initial instruction in the domestic arts came from Mom and my aunt. Raised in an all-female household, I was required to cook, clean, wash, iron and sew a bit; everyone had to carry their weight, and we all took turns doing the various chores that needed done to keep a household running.
Later, the women of Nancy's family took my skills to new heights. Anytime I visited I was put to work on some domestic chore. I was told what to do, how to do it, and my performance was critiqued afterward. A great way to learn!

I not only learned how to do various chores but found that I enjoyed doing them; this is especially true of ironing, but that's another story.

For those husbands or single men who are still untutored in domestic chores, let me point out that there are any number of places where one can learn sewing, knitting, crocheting, etc. Many fabric shops offer lessons on either a group- or private-lesson basis.  Many community colleges have non-credit classes in “bachelor living,” which is a home economics class for men and well worth taking. Otherwise guys can look to their wives, girlfriends or mother-in-law for instruction. These women will be only too happy to provide lessons as they realize that a man’s having domestic skills ultimately benefits women.

A final comment for now: Doing household tasks crosses traditional gender lines and is a power way of reinforcing the relative roles of Women and man in a female-led relationship.  Performing traditionally female leisure crafts such as knitting, needlepoint, floral displays, calligraphy, etc., are stronger statements still.  What Nancy and I find interesting is that most men are reluctant to undertake such traditionally female leisure crafts early in an FLR, but, after some time in a relationship, are much more receptive as they have immersed themselves in their domestic roles.


LS said...

Your story is very inspiring to me, Dennis. It shows how men can live fulfilling lives in dedicating themselves to domestic service and freeing their wives from menial tasks. I think it is really sweet that you want your wife to feel free to drop her clothes anywhere in the house and expect them to be picked up. It must give her confidence in your service and in her authority. I like just as much that you and Nancy aspire to elevate female values and priorities in your lives. It is refreshing to hear that!

I wonder if those of us who read this blog could hear from Nancy and what she thinks of your service and anything else she would like to tell us.


Nancy and Dennis said...

LS, Nancy and I collaborate on any response we post; we post as a couple. We are both evangelists for the lifestyle and encourage other couples to follow a woman-in-charge lifestyle to whatever extent pleases them. Not sure what you mean by what she "thinks of my service." She approves or otherwise she would not entrust me with keeping her house. I should note that Nancy never fully approves of anything, nor should any woman in a female-led relationship. Otherwise there would never be any incentive for the man to improve. Nancy's approval is open-ended; what is satisfactory today may not be tomorrow. It's one of the wonderful things about our lifestyle -- there is always the incentive in place for men to improve.

Anonymous said...

I was wondering whther it was being a good role model for children to see a parent just casually throw clothes onto the floor for others to pick up.

I understand that it demonstrates the care free attitude of the Womyn and tghe lower status of the male.I suppose it can help to destroy stereotypes for children otherwise brought up in a patriarchal world.

But I hope children would learn about repsonsibility and correct behaviour.

Even Prinecs were taught to be responsible and to have some chores in order to stretch them.