DIVA'S LOVING LEADERSHIP: EMBRACING THE LEAD

(Note from Mark Remond: This is a second post slightly abridged and reprinted (with permission) from Diva's Loving Leadership FLR blog. Readers interested in Diva’s other posts, some of them extremely provocative, need only click on the link just above. Thank you, Dree!)

Sept.15 by Dree — I’ve always been a great supervisor; a charismatic follower able to get others to do what leaders want them to do.

In love—until recently—I’ve been the more submissive partner in an otherwise equal relationship. I followed the lead of my lovers, even to the detriment of my own values.

Again until recently, I thought the idea of a woman being the leader in a romantic relationship as distant fantasy; something I would never attain.

That has all changed. I have embraced a female led relationship—in order to save my marriage—and it has been a most interesting experience, thus far.

My Pet was already handling the day-to-day housework and other tasks often seen as woman’s work, including handling and caring for the pets and the younger members of the family.

In the past (my first marriage andpast relationships), I embraced my role as the submissive housewife, I found fulfillment in cooking and cleaning for my family, but it was a lot of work doing all of that and working outside the home.

Until recently, My Pet handled his own finances, until he approached me and offered to hand his earnings over to me. I balked, at first, because I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that kind of responsibility, although, in the past, I had managed the household finances, I also had to fight with my partner to keep his spending in check. My Pet assured me that all future financial decisions would be mine.

The impact of that decision has been amazing. First, in our trust in each other, his trust in my leadership; and obviously, the household finances are much easier to manage, now that I have the complete picture.

Being in control of his free time is also new to me. Having My Pet ask me permission to do simple things has actually been our biggest test.

I’m so used to responding, “Yes, why not?” He has taken for granted that that is exactly what I will say. Playing with the word “No”—in order to train him and train myself to use that word more often—has been difficult. But it’s been necessary.

One of our biggest issues is that he still thinks and behaves the way he believes an Alpha Male should—joking around and not taking my responses to his behavior very seriously. We’ve discussed this several times since I took the lead.

Becoming more demanding, less apologetic and less open to hearing excuses has helped me maintain that control, and it’s apparent that he is beginning to respect that more as time goes on.

Even in the bedroom, he is learning to abdicate his sexuality to me, but only to a point. He was used to having sex whenever he wanted, however he wanted and he was upset when he realized that my leadership plans meant that he could no longer masturbate or frequent porn sites as he’s done in the past.

I tried withholding sex, but he was not interested in being fully chaste; and I learned very quickly that he was losing interest in FLR altogether because he wasn’t getting his own sexual needs met. As I tried to navigate this particular issue, we continued to have some sexual intercourse, but eventually I weaned him to the point where we no longer indulge in anything but sexual pla, for my sake, while only allowing him to masturbate, when I am satisfied.

All the same, we are in a much better place than we were several months ago. He listens more now and is more attentive. I am more vocal about what I want and what I need. Every day we work at defining and even redefining what we each expect from our new roles. As a result our sex life and playtimes are more exciting than ever before. It’s a whole new game, and we are very serious about the further goals we hope to achieve.

I may be new at this, but I know already that embracing the lead has made me a stronger individual, a stronger woman. This new power I seem to have is starting to go to my head. Embracing the lead at home, for instance, is starting to spill over into the way I behave at work. I’m more vocal and more proactive than I’ve ever been, and that feels good.

Thus far, it’s certainly been good for my marriage, as well.

BLURRED LINES REDEFINED

Confession: I suffer from acute pop cultural illiteracy. And I’m pretty zealous about staying that way. But every now and then my wife or kids, exasperated at my utter cluelessness, will force me to watch or read or listen to something not hopelessly passé.

For example, I stopped following sitcoms in the early post-Seinfeld and -Frasier era. Until recently, that is, when my wife corralled me into watching The Big Bang Theory reruns; there seem to be an unlimited supply of these. And, yes, I must admit they are all addictively enjoyable. And good-spirited.

As for pop music… well, I hear way more than I want to, just driving my teenage kids around (especially rap and hip-hop). One morning last week, on the way to school, I heard and noted the sexist lyrics of the Robin Thicke samba-powered “Blurred Lines.” And that same evening I got an email from a blog reader—a woman who is head of house in a female led family (HOH in an FLF)—asking if I’d seen the video.

If not, she instructed me, check it out on Youtube, then check out a delightful feminist parody, “Defined Lines,” for which she sent me the link. I did as instructed (in keeping with Sam’s aphorism, “Life is so much better when we do as we are told by Women”).

But let’s begin with the parody (you can find the original linked at the end of this post*): DEFINED LINES 

I thought it was simply sensational, and I was tickled to learn that the lovely Kiwis who put it together all attend Auckland University Law School (on Twitter: @LawRevueGirls). I was also tickled to learn that their parody had gone viral (after initially being taken down by YouTube, then reinstated).

But only after I got around to watching the original did I understand what the girls were sending up in their saucy, sarcastic way. You can watch them talk about the genesis of their parody in this online interview from Australian TV:

By the way, for old fogies like me who have trouble tracking fast-talking girls (including my own daughter), the Law Revue Girls were considerate enough to put out a subtitled version.

* Here’s a Youtube link to the original “BlurredLines.” My sophisticated dominant female correspondent told me she isn’t bothered by the video because “the tone is playful rather than heavy-handed.” However, with a college-going daughter, I am put off by the depiction of young women as slutty mannequins. Brava! Law Revue Girls!

ALPHA_BY_DAY: THE FLR & FEMDOM DIVIDE

As still very much a newbie, I find it fascinating to explore the many aspects that surround female led relationships. My understanding continues to evolve, and I waiver between “what I know I know” and “what I think I know.” You know?

One of the biggest surprises for me on my journey this year has been the perceived divide between those who espouse “vanilla” FLR lifestyles and those who espouse “kinky” FLR lifestyles. And my premise going in was definitely that we, the lucky few who acknowledge both the benefits and atonement that come with FLRs, are all one tribe. To some degree, perhaps a very important degree, we are kindred spirits. 

I consider myself to be a very inclusive person. I love the differences in people and truly enjoy learning from those who with different backgrounds and beliefs. Intellectually, I find it stimulating and emotionally I find it gratifying to cultivate diverse friendships. I’d love to talk with anyone who lives in an FLR lifestyle. I don’t care what else you do or don’t do, I’m interested.

I set up a group on a social network a few months ago with the intent of finding others in my area who are interested in female led relationships. Naturally, in the key word descriptors I used a wide range of adjacent topics. They even recommend it as you set up your group because casting a wide net is how you build a successful social group, right? Makes sense. I used words like “romance,” “courtship” and “female empowerment,” but I also used words like “BDSM relationships” and “femdom.” After all, FLRs are different things to different people. Not better or worse, just different.

One of the male members sent me a message that caught me off guard:

Can I just say that I find the description of FLR's as "BDSM Relationships" here on the site to be a negative? I think women find 'bdsm' off-putting and way too sexual to be appealing. The description 'FLR' was created to make these women-led relationships more appealing and palatable to women who [don’t] like the overly sexualized imagery that bdsm offers. Men, like me, are seeking strong confident women as lovers and leaders; not dominatrixes.

Now I certainly respect his opinion. And I very much agree that some women have exactly the opinion he expresses. And I’m great with that. But I also think it’s important to acknowledge that FLRs can include BDSM aspects as well. Some women enjoy it, some do not. Just like some women like Italian food and others do not. Life is a menu with limitless options. I don’t see this as any different really.

I have met a wide array of people this year with an interest in FLRs and they are as disparate as any other subset of society. I met a dominant woman who’s an accountant. I met a submissive man who’s also an accountant. I know several dominant women who are small business owners and consultants. I know dominant women and submissive men who are in sales and marketing. One likes ultimate Frisbee. One likes photography. Several eat primarily organic, non-GMO foods. Some have kids. Others do not. Some like cats, some dogs, some both.  Some neither.  And yes, some like kinky stuff and others don’t. Some are heterosexual, some not. Yes friends, believe me, there are plenty of FLRs between two women.

As a result I find it hard to judge any of these people as better or worse or one FLR any more appropriate than another. We all believe in female leadership and the benefits that come from it. From every one of them I have learned something this year, and I’m grateful for the opportunity.

One of the things I’ve gained is a certain perspective. For instance, as I discussed in an earlier guest post, I’ve long had a problem with the term “submissive.” (No one in my vanilla life would believe me if I said that I’m a submissive man; it just doesn’t fit my personality.) But if I have a visceral response to the term “submissive,” others may have the same response to “dominant.” It may conjure stereotypical, porn-induced images. I get that. You don’t need a riding crop and corset to be in charge. And obviously BDSM isn’t for everyone. Heck, there’s a lexicon all its own and some of the practices under the BDSM umbrella are pretty severe. I can certainly see where that could be off-putting for many folks; indeed, some of it is off-putting to me, as well.

A wise woman whom I regard as both mentor and friend described “kink” as a big tent and under that tent, she said, all are welcome. I like the metaphor. So if I happen to have this interest and you happen to have that interest, we’re all just doing our own thing and should reserve judgment.

I would like to think of FLRs in very much the same way. Surely, we have enough commonality in our thinking around female empowerment and leadership that we can all accept one another’s variations on the main theme, especially in regard to what goes on behind closed doors. It’s encouraging to see more and more people interested in female led relationships. I have tried for many years to convert girlfriends to the belief, only to have them misinterpret or flat out reject the idea. So I can certainly appreciate the sensitivity around the adjacent imagery and bizarre stereotypes that can be associated.

Here is the response I gave to the comment above:

You make an interesting point. There is no right or wrong way to view female-led relationships. Each relationship is whatever the two participants choose it to be (BDSM, vanilla, or otherwise). Also, please remember, when you say "I think women find BDSM off-putting," you are forgetting the essential qualifier, "some." Some women find BDSM off-putting, others certainly do not, something I have personal experience with (in both cases actually).

I'm quite sure there are plenty of women seeking exactly what you're looking for, but we are not here to condemn anyone's viewpoints on FLRs or any adjacent topics or activities. One of the discussion topics lists a variety of "types of FLRs." Clearly they are not all BDSM-related.

All are welcome here; please keep an open mind to the viewpoints of others.

For me, the bottom line is that an FLR can be whatever the two parties consent to within the guidance of her leadership. 

DIVA'S LOVING LEADERSHIP: ONLY FAIRY TALES HAVE HAPPY ENDINGS

“The world turned upside down” (gender-role reversal) 

(Note from Mark Remond: The following is a "cross post" from a fairly new FLR blog, Diva's Loving Leadership. It is reprinted here, in slightly abridged form, with the permission of the author, "Diva," or "Dree." Readers interested in her other posts, some of them quite provocative, need only click on the link just above. Thank you, Dree, for letting me share your thoughts and ideas with my readers.)

In our gendered world, women, in particular, are raised up with the idea of a “Prince Charming” coming to sweep us off of our feet into a life-long “Happily Ever After”, with the “perfect” courtship, the “perfect” wedding, the “perfect” marriage. But, life isn’t “perfect” and often, we awaken to a world full of stress and anxiety and fear about whether we can really keep up with the Joneses and live up to the world’s expectations that we will beat the odds and keep our long-term relationships happy and intact.

Recently, my husband and I fell into a rut, in our marriage. We were kind of quietly falling apart, but we didn’t know how to stop it. Even though our marriage already started out kind of, unorthodox, I was still expecting certain specific and somewhat gendered behaviors from him and likewise, he from me.

Almost from the moment we moved in together, he took over the cooking and the cleaning. He waited on me hand and foot. If I needed him and called, he’d drop everything and come running. But when it came to intimacy, we were sorely lacking.

He was waiting for me to tell him what to do and how to do it and I was growing weary of always having to do so. Our lives had become so routine that we kind of grew accustomed to the fact that neither of us was going to get what we wanted and we were just going through the motions, hoping for a miracle. In my gendered thinking, the man almost always knows how and when to touch a woman in certain ways and in his gendered thinking, I was always ready, because he was.

I finally broke the ice and we had a heart-breaking, gut-wrenching discussion about what was wrong. I thought that it was because he needed to “Man Up” and take the initiative in learning how to please me and tease me in our romantic and sex life. I thought that I needed him to be more “manly” in how he solved other problems in our life. But the one thing that he continued to bring up, over and over, was that he needed my help; my direction, in figuring out what to do and how to do it. He wanted to keep doing things for the household and for me, he didn’t want to give up his less traditional role.

It wasn’t enough that I screamed, “Yes, Yes!” when things were good. He needed me to tell him, “No, no, no… that’s not working for me!” more often and more vocally. Instead, I would give a few directions a few times and when he would get lax, I’d just give up.

So I did some research on his personality type. I’d never encountered it in my life. A man who wanted to do the housekeeping; who wanted to please me, for his sake, not really for mine? What a concept!

I realized that it was I who needed to embrace a different kind of gender role; a role where I was in the lead and my husband was the submissive spouse. I came across the idea of FLR or female-led relationship. I had researched such a thing in the past, but my first husband was not interested, even from a role-playing point of view, so I put that away as a “not in this lifetime” sort of idea. So when I presented the idea to my current husband I was very surprised that he embraced it immediately. And, together, we have been studying the central ideas around it and learning how to navigate a new relationship dynamic.

Right now, we are still kind of newbies at it. We are still making up the rules. Or rather, I am (and he’s agreeing to most of them). But, the change in our relationship and how we are connecting has been incredible. The level of true intimacy between us has gone up significantly (because I am training him when and how to be affectionate or to give me the attention that I need and I am also teaching him to ask me for affection when he feels that he needs it). I have taken sex off of the table for the time being, as we get to know each other in this new relationship. I want to make sure these lessons stick, before we take it to the next level.

Like anything else, this lifestyle is not for everyone. It may not even be for us, in the long-term. But, for now, we are trying this and hope to journal our story for posterity and maybe in the hopes that somebody else can learn from us or that we can try new things on the advice of others.

(Note: For additional posts, go to Diva's Loving Leadership.)

TOPSY-TURVY WORLD, PART 2

As you know, I blog. I also Tweet.

Compulsively.

About female-led relationships. And, more recently, about female superiority.

One of my recent Tweets went something like this:

A happy man who lives in loving deference to his wife WIFE WORSHIP blog #femaleled #courtship goo.gl/ue7PQ

Out of the thousands who perhaps saw these innocuous lines scrolling down their screens, one guy Tweeted me back, puzzled, perhaps even outraged:

What’s the MATTER with you, bro?

A fair question? Is there something the matter with me? Perhaps I ought to have Tweeted:

A happy woman who lives in loving deference to her husband

After all, that’s the way the social hierarchy was ordained when I grew up—with men masterfully on top, women respectfully beneath. Wives who wanted to run the family show had to let hubby pretend to do so.

But I was wired differently from the start. I got excited—inflamed—by the idea of females on top. In control. In charge. And it happened early. At age 3, just a bit, and then seriously at age 4. And the femme fatales who inflamed my wee imagination were Little Girls.

Two of them, adorable moppets both, lived just down the lane. About my age, sisters, maybe even twins. Dark-haired vixens called Donna and Dotey. One of them—doesn’t matter which—wrestled me down on my back in the sandbox, pinned my wrists, straddled me with her adorable knees, looked down and teased me. Unmercifully.

I was in submissive heaven—a brand-new place, but one I would never forget and always yearn to go back to. Like Shangri-la.

Another girl, an older woman of perhaps 6 or 7, lived in the other direction. Beth, rosy cheeked, always barefoot. I dreamed of being chased by her, overtaken, being caught and taken prisoner. What torturous delights lay beyond that my 4-year-old mind could not envision.

Flash forward from kindergarten to third grade, and enter Patricia Ann, an Amazonian blonde. Patricia Ann was taller than all the boys, smarter too. A queen who also excelled at sports. She, too, pinned me beneath her in a sandbox, exactly as Donna or Dotey had. Knees and thighs astraddle, my wrists held captive. I looked up into her mischievous, angelic face and wanted to be her slave.

Patricia Ann moved away not long afterward, but I’ve thought about her ever since. She for me epitomized that delicious topsy-turvy world where women are on top and I am worshipfully below.

So that’s what’s the matter with me, bro. Many decades later it took the World Wide Web to reveal the truth that there are many thousands, perhaps millions, of males just like me, guys who want to live in complete thralldom to what used to be called the “better half.”

Not as equals, but as subservients.

One such guy, who blogs under the cybername of Subservient Husband (or S-H), describes the “disparity” that we submissive guys crave:

"Disparity can be experienced in acts that express the status of the submissive. For instance, a male submissive gains disparity pleasure from kissing the feet of their dominant. From being told to sit on the floor while the dominant sits on a comfortable chair or couch is another example or from satisfying the dominant's sexual cravings while being denied anything in return. There are many other ways service or disparity can be experienced, but it is foundational for a contented submissive male."

Luckily for guys like me and S-H. there are women who happily complement our submissive cravings and relish being on top and taking the reins of power. This blog has been blessed by several such as guest posters—Becky Sue, Ms. Nancy, Ms. Amanda and Ms. Jenn. You can find all their posts in the archives, and I heartily suggest that you do.

Ms. Amanda, a high-powered international executive, might almost be my 3rd grade domme Patricia Ann all grown up, smart, powerful, playful. She wrote in this space about having her husband, George, massaging her feet as he sat beside her on the sofa each evening before dinner as the family gathered; then her decision to have him perform this adoring task while seated at her feet.

“I have big plans for George and one of them is for him to be spending a lot more time on the floor at my feet!”

Another willing inhabitant of topsy-turvy world is my occasional guest blogger, Alpha_by_Day. I won’t quote him, but suggest you read his eloquent explanation of why the concept of female superiority is so appealing to him—"FemaleSupremacy and the Semantics of Her Leadership." 

A couple years ago, in a post called “Lighting Her Cigars, Part 2”  I went into a bit more detail on this topic of deliberate inequality of the sexes:

This power imbalance is standard policy in many wife-led marriages and female-led relationships. A woman calling herself Melissa explained in a letter to Elise Sutton how all issues were amicably settled between herself and her husband Patrick: 

“The First Rule of Our Relationship: We discuss; I decide; he obeys. In cases where my mind is already made up, or I feel strongly about a particular issue, the need for discussion is obviated and Patrick is simply informed. This eliminates the need for discussion in about seventy percent of all cases, allows Patrick to concentrate on his engineering career and leaves other issues in my far more capable hands. 

“The Second Rule of Our Relationship: We have Absolutes; I have absolute freedom; he accepts and lives under my absolute control; this applies to all aspects; there are no exceptions.”

Lady Grey, who thankfully has resumed her beautifully written femdom blog, "Woman in Control,"  put it this way: “What is the role of the unequal balance of power in a FLR? I'd answer that the inevitable imbalance of power in such a relationship is the very ESSENCE of the relationship. A balance of power would make a FLR unworkable."

So maybe there’s nothing wrong with me, bro. Maybe topsy-turvy is starting to be right-side-up. Maybe it’s time for the Big Wheel to rotate 180 and the patriarchal gondola to scrape the earth while the matriarchal carriage ascends on high, with Milady’s colors fluttering triumphantly in the breeze.

PS. Topsy-TurvyWorld, Part 1, appeared on this blog two years ago, September 7, 2011.

ALPHA_BY_DAY: FEMALE SUPREMACY AND THE SEMANTICS OF HER LEADERSHIP

I must admit that I love reading through the archives here at Worshipping Your Wife. At this early stage in my journey I continue to learn so much. And reading testimonials and thoughts written by so many people who espouse the like beliefs in female led relationships helps me to accept that belief in myself. There are so many of us. I’m not alone. And there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m truly grateful to find so many like-minded souls.

One topic that I noticed has been a periodic recurrence is female supremacy/superiority, and that’s something I’ve given a great deal of thought to in the past. Let’s just call it intellectual discourse on an adjacent topic.

I walked in the door of this lifestyle believing in female supremacy. Or at the very least, thinking that I believed in it. It was part of my very first conversation with the woman who would introduce me to “femdom.”  

And then in our first private session together, I distinctly recall being on my knees, head

to the floor as she circled around me and told me to describe why I believed in female supremacy. And scared out of my mind, stammering, stuttering, barely able to think straight, I did my best to convey my thoughts on why women make better leaders and on the virtue of a female led family. I remember that moment like it was yesterday.

But if I’m honest, I really have to qualify my beliefs because some of the rhetoric surrounding that term can be classified as either research bias or simply not a credible extension of fact. But I have been lucky to meet some very smart, very enlightened people in my journey this year. And they introduced me to the terms “divine feminine” and “divine masculine” which dovetail very nicely into female led relationships and the benefits of elevating female leadership in general. But I’m getting ahead of myself so let me step back a bit.

Like I have done in so many areas of my life, I chose to define female supremacy in my own terms. To me, female supremacy really meant that a relationship and a family were better off with a woman at the helm. And that I still very much believe to be the truth. A female-centric family, in my humble opinion, has a better chance of staying together and thriving than otherwise. Yes, that’s an unquantifiable generalization but it’s what I choose to believe.

I’m really not a fan of the word “supremacy” because historically it does not have a great track record. And to say that a particular group is unilaterally better than any other group…well, that doesn’t have a great track record either.

To me personally, there's an important distinction between "Superiority" and "Supremacy," though I recognize that some would disagree with me. I've read just about everything there is to be found on the Internet and in books when it comes to "Female Superiority" and when you cull it down to its elements, there are some pretty weak arguments.

For example, it is always cited that more women obtain master's degrees than men and the numbers continue to rise. While I don't dispute the numbers, I can say, without fear of contradiction, that this means absolutely nothing. We can debate whether "women are smarter" or not, but that has nothing to do with educational certification. School is about commitment and sacrifice, not intelligence. Male or female, degrees don't make you smart. One of the most useless executives I’ve ever worked with had an MBA from Harvard, and one of the most brilliant people I know today barely graduated from a mediocre state university undergrad program (by his own admission). Madonna and I evidently have the same IQ, and I'm good with that.

I truly do believe that there are things that women are, in fact, better at than men. But to me, that is less about superiority than it is about balance. The areas where women provide us with leadership are necessary to our success. And no doubt the same can be said for certain characteristics of men. Each party brings strengths (and weaknesses) into the equation and together we can find balance.

To me, the word "supremacy" simply connotes leadership and focus where superiority connotes a generalized sense of ranking. Personally, I think the world would be a better place with more women in leadership roles. 50% of the population represents less than 20% of the leadership positions in business and government. We should fix that.

Studies show that women, by their nature, have a more inclusive leadership style and embrace the complexity of consensus building in a way that is foreign to most male leaders. Now men can, of course, learn this style and evolved leaders embrace it, but it is said that women have that ability as part of their inherent skill set which is very interesting indeed.

The most common criticism of female leaders is that they struggle to compartmentalize. Two men can vigorously disagree on a topic in a meeting and laugh about it over a beer later. Same argument with a woman, and there's often residual friction. Now, same principle applies as above. Of course women can learn to better compartmentalize; it comes with experience and is a learned skill. The more women there are in leadership positions, the more they have the opportunity to do so.

A review of the leadership teams of Fortune 500 companies found that firms with women in the C-Suite and on their boards were more profitable than those without women in leadership roles. Is that magic? Is it some inherent law of attraction that women have with money? Of course not. It is a function of having a more balanced and inclusive approach to managing the business. They say a great leadership team embraces diversity of all kinds, especially leadership styles, because it enables them to more thoroughly examine and overcome challenges. And that makes sense. Women are an important part of that team approach.

So that's the business side, and I'm very passionate about it. As my career continues to grow, I have made it a top priority to further the advancement of women in the workplace. And I draw genuine pleasure from the various projects I have in the works right now for helping women-owned small businesses. Is it the submissive man in me that wants to serve them? Yes. Is it the evolved leader I aspire to be doing what I feel is right? I’d like to think so. Is it a deeply satisfying personal endeavor? Absolutely. So for me, the advancement of women is the one area where it all comes together. And I'm truly grateful to have made that realization.

And then there's the personal side. And I think we’re all here reading this blog together because we believe the key to a healthy, happy home is female leadership. Personally, I believe that women are better managers of the complexities of a family than are men. Granted, I am biased. I grew up in a female-led household and, well, I turned out pretty awesome.

(Just kidding, I think.)

I do believe that the roles my parents played growing up provided a solid foundation for my sisters, brother, and me. My dad was a hard-working man and did his best to provide. My mom was in charge of running the household and raising the children. In fact, she was always in charge. Even now that they are retired and living a very simple life in their 70s, the hierarchy is still in place. They are happy together as they approach their 50th anniversary.

 

Setting aside the issue of children, I believe that women provide men with important "guard rails" and a steady "compass" with which to navigate life. But that doesn't always come until the relationship advances into a solid committed stage. My inability to achieve that level of commitment with a woman because I was stuck in that posturing need to always be in charge (or be perceived as being in charge) has been my biggest competitive disadvantage professionally.

And when I take an honest look at the men I admire, they have strong female leadership in their life. Now, of course, in some cases it is less overt than in others, but it is nevertheless my firm belief that in order for a man to maximize his potential, he needs the guidance of a woman.

I believe I'm a good man, but never more so than since I accepted this path toward finding my own female led relationship. I’ve come to believe that it isn’t some inherent weakness that makes me want to elevate women. I would like to think of it as awareness. And in empowering her, I empower myself.

—Alpha-by-Day (whose accomplished writing also appears on his own blog, My Journey Into FLR)