Thursday, September 12, 2013


As you know, I blog. I also Tweet.


About female-led relationships. And, more recently, about female superiority.

One of my recent Tweets went something like this:
A happy man who lives in loving deference to his wife WIFE WORSHIP blog #femaleled #courtship
Out of the thousands who perhaps saw these innocuous lines scrolling down their screens, one guy Tweeted me back, puzzled, perhaps even outraged:
What’s the MATTER with you, bro?
A fair question? Is there something the matter with me? Perhaps I ought to have Tweeted:
A happy woman who lives in loving deference to her husband
After all, that’s the way the social hierarchy was ordained when I grew up—with men masterfully on top, women respectfully beneath. Wives who wanted to run the family show had to let hubby pretend to do so.

But I was wired differently from the start. I got excited—inflamed—by the idea of females on top. In control. In charge. And it happened early. At age 3, just a bit, and then seriously at age 4. And the femme fatales who inflamed my wee imagination were Little Girls.

Two of them, adorable moppets both, lived just down the lane. About my age, sisters, maybe even twins. Dark-haired vixens called Donna and Dotey. One of them—doesn’t matter which—wrestled me down on my back in the sandbox, pinned my wrists, straddled me with her adorable knees, looked down and teased me. Unmercifully.

I was in submissive heaven—a brand-new place, but one I would never forget and always yearn to go back to. Like Shangri-la.

Another girl, an older woman of perhaps 6 or 7, lived in the other direction. Beth, rosy cheeked, always barefoot. I dreamed of being chased by her, overtaken, being caught and taken prisoner. What torturous delights lay beyond that my 4-year-old mind could not envision.

Flash forward from kindergarten to third grade, and enter Patricia Ann, an Amazonian blonde. Patricia Ann was taller than all the boys, smarter too. A queen who also excelled at sports. She, too, pinned me beneath her in a sandbox, exactly as Donna or Dotey had. Knees and thighs astraddle, my wrists held captive. I looked up into her mischievous, angelic face and wanted to be her slave.

Patricia Ann moved away not long afterward, but I’ve thought about her ever since. She for me epitomized that delicious topsy-turvy world where women are on top and I am worshipfully below.

So that’s what’s the matter with me, bro. Many decades later it took the World Wide Web to reveal the truth that there are many thousands, perhaps millions, of males just like me, guys who want to live in complete thralldom to what used to be called the “better half.”

Not as equals, but as subservients.

One such guy, who blogs under the cybername of Subservient Husband (or S-H), describes the “disparity” that we submissive guys crave:
"Disparity can be experienced in acts that express the status of the submissive. For instance, a male submissive gains disparity pleasure from kissing the feet of their dominant. From being told to sit on the floor while the dominant sits on a comfortable chair or couch is another example or from satisfying the dominant's sexual cravings while being denied anything in return. There are many other ways service or disparity can be experienced, but it is foundational for a contented submissive male."
Luckily for guys like me and S-H. there are women who happily complement our submissive cravings and relish being on top and taking the reins of power. This blog has been blessed by several such as guest posters—Becky Sue, Ms. Nancy, Ms. Amanda and Ms. Jenn. You can find all their posts in the archives, and I heartily suggest that you do.

Ms. Amanda, a high-powered international executive, might almost be my 3rd grade domme Patricia Ann all grown up, smart, powerful, playful. She wrote in this space about having her husband, George, massaging her feet as he sat beside her on the sofa each evening before dinner as the family gathered; then her decision to have him perform this adoring task while seated at her feet.
“I have big plans for George and one of them is for him to be spending a lot more time on the floor at my feet!”
Another willing inhabitant of topsy-turvy world is my occasional guest blogger, Alpha_by_Day. I won’t quote him, but suggest you read his eloquent explanation of why the concept of female superiority is so appealing to him—"FemaleSupremacy and the Semantics of Her Leadership." 

A couple years ago, in a post called “Lighting Her Cigars, Part 2 I went into a bit more detail on this topic of deliberate inequality of the sexes:
This power imbalance is standard policy in many wife-led marriages and female-led relationships. A woman calling herself Melissa explained in a letter to Elise Sutton how all issues were amicably settled between herself and her husband Patrick: 
“The First Rule of Our Relationship: We discuss; I decide; he obeys. In cases where my mind is already made up, or I feel strongly about a particular issue, the need for discussion is obviated and Patrick is simply informed. This eliminates the need for discussion in about seventy percent of all cases, allows Patrick to concentrate on his engineering career and leaves other issues in my far more capable hands. 
“The Second Rule of Our Relationship: We have Absolutes; I have absolute freedom; he accepts and lives under my absolute control; this applies to all aspects; there are no exceptions.”
Lady Grey, who thankfully has resumed her beautifully written femdom blog, "Woman in Control,"  put it this way: “What is the role of the unequal balance of power in a FLR? I'd answer that the inevitable imbalance of power in such a relationship is the very ESSENCE of the relationship. A balance of power would make a FLR unworkable."

So maybe there’s nothing wrong with me, bro. Maybe topsy-turvy is starting to be right-side-up. Maybe it’s time for the Big Wheel to rotate 180 and the patriarchal gondola to scrape the earth while the matriarchal carriage ascends on high, with Milady’s colors fluttering triumphantly in the breeze.

PS. Topsy-TurvyWorld, Part 1, appeared on this blog two years ago, September 7, 2011.


Anonymous said...

FYI, Lady Grey has returned to blogging at Woman In Control.

Mark Remond said...

Thanks, Anonymous. Duly noted and the blog corrected to reflect that fact. And good news indeed!

Antwerp said...

Mark- I was so excited to see that you felt this way at age 3 and 4. It's the same with me.

I'd love to talk to you sometime about how this may have developed in us. (Not that I mid being this way at all, but I am curious.)

Kathy said...

Sweetie, you have such a beautiful way of expressing your self.

Men are not inferior to women, but many of you do have a need to serve.

The shame of it is that so few of you have the courage to 'come out'
.Fear of rejection, loss of respect, whatever the reason men want to hide their true nature.

The question was recently asked to me, 'how can a wife respect a husband who wants to live as her

The real question for me is how can a wife not respect a husband who has the courage to admit his need for female authoirty in everyday life.

No woman I know wants a husband who is inferior. Inferiority in a man is like yesterday's clothing. It is not what women want. If they had their choice most women would want a super man for a husband; stong, hansome, confident, and a good provider.

Some men need female authoirty almost as much as the air they breath and the water they drink. This, however, does not make them inferior. It does tend to make them better husbands, better fathers, and often better lovers.

The true submissive man who desires to serve is a diamond.
The man I love, the man who serves me may not be a caped crusader, but he is my superman. He is there for me. He is intimate. He is loving-and most of all cares about pleasing.

Femdom relationships are real, and growing in popularity. All of the internet chatter about submissive men being inferior is a turn off to real women who are considering the life style. There should be more talk about great submissve men are as opposed to their perceived inferiority.

Love, Kathy

Mark Remond said...

Thank you for the loving, wise comment, Mistress Kathy. I've been missing your postings, along with many others. I will take to heart your words.

And Antwerp, feel free to email me at if you wish to discuss your own early submissive yearnings, but also feel free to discuss them here, in Comment form.

Alex said...

I remember wanting to be slave of my 4th grade classmate and she was gorgeous in my eyes back then. This is real we are born submissive to Women.