Monday, July 14, 2014

dennis: MENTORING AND CELEBRATING NEW FLRs


Nancy, Sue and i hosted a party at our home for five Women who over the past two years have embarked on FLRs. Two of the husbands accompanied their Wives for the celebratory occasion.

It’s amazing and gratifying to see how far these couples have progressed in so short a time. The Women had 
achieved control over things like money and social activities. They had reporting, debriefing, and monitoring in place, too, something that we didn’t expect to see, at least not implemented to such an extent in such a relatively short time.

In all five instances, the Women had established and enforced strict household rules and had long since established schedules and routines for their husbands, all of which allowed them – the Women – to pursue other interests. None of the Women did any housework, as attested to by their perfectly manicured, glamour-length nails. Real women don’t do housework – but real men do! i was impressed that, in anticipation of serving at the
gathering, both of the attending husbands brought their aprons. Wearing an apron removes all doubt – if there ever was any – as to the man’s proper role.

In all five FLRs, the men were actively involved not only at home but socially, too. Hubbies were required – as atonement for patriarchy – to participate in a variety of outside-the-home activities in support of Women’s causes. In fact, three of the husbands volunteer regularly at the Women’s Center.

The bottom line was that everyone was very happy with the new order of things in these five households. And these Women are by no means done with their FLRs. There’s much more that they want to do and accomplish.




—d

22 comments:

Unknown said...

I have two questions.

1) Where were the other hubbies?

2) Could you please expand on the topics of "reporting, debriefing, and monitoring"?
Together they sound delightfully 'controlling'.

Thanks you

I'm-Hers said...

Glad to hear that another five households are now in the competent hands of a woman. I envy that you have group meetings with other women and can help them get on their feet and up to speed in leading a home. Sounds fantastic

Anonymous said...

How did the party go? Was it the women doing all the talking with the men not interupting? I imagine a scene with all the women in the lounge talking business and topical news with all the men fretting in the kitchen and discussing recipes lol.

Adam

Anonymous said...

dennis, I'd like to hear more details of these new FLR participants. For example, what attracted these Women and men to this lifestyle? What are their backgrounds? What obstacles did they have to overcome? Did the men or Women take the lead in introducing the FLR? What are future plans for the new couples?

LS

Anonymous said...

I love it..me and my wife/owner would probably benefit fm this type of social reinforcement..We know that a FLR is for us but being around other women who rule their households would help...Billy-servant of Lady R..

Anonymous said...

Good to hear that both men and Women are getting positive reinforcement of their beliefs.


If it is possibly allowed could we know what was discussed at the party.

Femsup

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to femsup and others requesting more details about the FLR couples celebration:

We love doing little sessions like this from time to time. The Women in this case were looking for some validation and direction and we provided some. It's all low key and something we do with people who we know are in or are considering the lifestyle. We find we can accelerate the progress down the path of an FLR by relating our own experiences and by letting Women know that men are more willing to accept more Female authority and take on more responsibility than they might expect. It's pleasing to us that we suggest something new to a Woman that She's skeptical about and then She comes back soon after and tells us how easy it was to move hubby in that direction.

There's encouragement for men provided, too. tom and i work with Linda and Nancy in this regard; when men see Women in charge and men accepting their authority it's easier for them - the men - to move forward. We tell them that it's OK to listen to their Wives and to do housework, in fact we tell them how fulfilling it is. As a result Women find it easier to move on as their men are much more accepting and pliable.

Men move beyond being accepting and pliable to become real advocates of Female leadership. Men move quickly from acceptance to advocacy. i encountered one Woman's husband at the grocery store doing his weekly shopping; he was wearing a shirt emblazoned with 'Real Men Do Housework' - a shirt we'd given him months earlier that he was initially reluctant to accept.

We are fulfilled by our lifestyle and want others to consider the lifestyle, too.

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Adam:
Just like any social gathering men and Women tend to gravitate and our little social was no exception. The Women, all career Women, talked business in the living room while the men convened in the kitchen and discussed a variety of topics, housework, grocery shopping, and, yes, a little business and current events. We all shared responsibility for serving the Women coffee and light snacks. Just a good evening all around. Eventually we joined the Ladies and participated in the conversation - although sparingly! Men learn more when they listen!

Anonymous said...

Its vital that we that believe strongly in Female authority have these oasis of calm and enlightenment and to just be ourselves.

I commend you both for your low key but immensely important social gatherings.

Femsup

sub hub in phx said...

I envy that you are able to share your lifestyle with other humans. Some day ...... Some day.

My Mistress wife and I are just past years into our FLR. It would be wonderful to go to gathering like you describe in this post and celebrate "new" FLR's.

Thanks for the post.

ALL HERS said...

My wife and I also had a very similar situation this past Saturday. We were at a bar b que with some of her friends and husbands. She has confided in 2 of them about our WLM and they have embraced it and began it with their husbands. Our wives were all sitting at a round outdoor table talking about their golf games the prior week and what tennis matches they were playing in the coming week. The husbands, myself included, were close by sitting and discussing floor steamers. I had purchased the Eureka and so did our friend and we were describing how it worked and how well it cleaned. I listened to my wife talking about golf, tennis and cards while we talked about house cleaning and different products. Times have changed...and for the better.

Obedient husband said...

It would be nice to have like minded friends with whom to socialize.

Mark Remond said...

Anonymous just above, I will research that blog post, but you need to send a query like this to me via email, markremond@yahoo.com - so I can respond privately.

Anonymous said...

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2010/02/24/how-abusive-women-brainwash-you/

Anonymous said...

Hi Dennis,

Thanks for the post. My GF and I are in San Diego. Do you have any suggestions for local groups or women's centers like the one you volunteer at?

fursissy said...

Dennis; Are all the men within your group trained in a similar fashion. Do they all wear aprons, ballet slippers, curtsey and bow when serving

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to fursissy just above:

Our group is together because all of us are in the lifestyle to one degree or another. All the guys are responsible for housework, are obedient, turn over their pay, and, yes, we all wear aprons and have a formal demeanor about us when serving our Wives.

d

Anonymous said...

This is the best blog I have ever read in my life (well one of them)!!!! I am giddy. (Is this for real?) Thank you Mark! J

Mark Remond said...

To Anonymous just above,

Thanks, I'm always delighted when folks -- especially women and girls -- learn about FLRs through this blog.

I assure you these relationships are very real, and growing steadily, judging by the many responses I get. Yes, there are many male readers of this blog for whom a FLR is only a yearning, or a deeply embedded fantasy. But real FLRs, and WLMs (wife-led marriages) do exist, from vanilla-esque to consensual extremes beyond anything I've ever dared publish here. I and others in the lifestyle believe that it will not be long before FLRs truly go mainstream, which will allow them as well to come out of the closet and be accepted by the media, and the public, as completely valid and socially progressive.

Edward said...

I just recently spent an afternoon giving ironing, and vacuming lessons to a friend of mine while our wives were out shopping. It is wonderful to know that more couples are mentoring others into this lifestyle. Giving up my financial independence was the most difficult yet liberating step for me. I had encouragement, and guidance from another couple for this step. It's only right that I should be there for others too.

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Edward:

Indeed there is great satisfaction to be derived from encouraging other couples in their journey into the lifestyle. You are to be commended for giving up financial independence - it is a major step and an important one, one of the four tenets Nancy will tell your are integral to an FLR, including, Obedience, Domestic Service, Personal Service, and Atonement.

i derive great pleasure from guiding other men in the lifestyle, particularly in their acceptance of new roles and in their learning and fully accepting new responsibilities such as housekeeping. We have formal courses in housekeeping conducted by a local Woman's Center but, additionally, men who are in the lifestyle step up to tutor those who are just entering. My friend, tom, and i have done a lot of tutoring of other men, supervising them in vacuuming, dusting, ironing, laundry, and the like, and in instilling a sense of pride in these tasks. It's very rewarding and it's wonderful to see men not only gaining domestic skills but also seeing them develop proper attitudes around housework. Most men are excited about their new responsibilities as housekeepers and want to do an excellent job, as their Wives expect. One recent entrant into the lifestyle called to let tom and me know that his Wife complimented him on his cleaning the house; in Her eyes it's likely a great step forward for both Her and him. While we shared his joy, we doubt he deserved the accolades; we're sure She was just being nice since his skills are a 'little rough' but we'll get him to the point where he deserves Her compliments IF She cares to compliment him for something he should be doing anyway.

There are the practical on-you-knees-and-clean aspects but some of the most rewarding tutoring i and other progressive gentlemen do is when we change an attitude, when we get full acceptance of male obedience, full relinquishing of financial control, full recognition of new roles and responsibility - housework - it's all good but the shifts in attitude are what do it for me...

d

Edward said...

Dear Dennis. Thank you so much for your kind response, and comment regarding my financial dependence on my Wife. I never thought of it this way until I read your response. It IS all about the attitude. You should have seen the look of satisfaction from the person I was teaching ironing to, when he successfully ironed, and folded a blouse. I also strongly recommended to him to watch online how-to videos when time permits. These can be very helpful when learning how to PROPERLY fold clothing, and towels. There are many others with helpful tips regarding cleaning etc.

Please keep working with your recent lifestyle entrant, and I'm sure you will help him become a real man yet, if he keeps with the proper attitude that is.

May I offer you a compliment in return for working housekeeping at that hotel for those six months. It sounds like she was a bit rough on her employees, but I am sure it gave you some much needed experience, and skills to transfer to your home. Good job Dennis.