Thursday, July 31, 2014
dennis: CONTROLLING THE FINANCES REVISITED, Part 1
“Controlling the family finances is one thing that ALL women should be doing. Managing the finances is more than just paying bills. It’s about determining what is spent, where and on what. It’s about treating yourself to things you’re entitled to as the female head of household. It’s about closing the wage gap on a very personal level! It’s about control! Remember, ladies, money is power! Seize that power!”
With these words my Wife, Nancy, started Her post on controlling the money in an FLR. We regularly revisit this important topic during small workshops with Women and couples who are in, or embarking on, the lifestyle.
Women controlling money is an essential element of an FLR. Women have the right and responsibility to take control of finances, and doing so will give them tremendous power. Of the four tenets of an FLR, financial control is usually the first one that a couple embarks on. In doing so, She assumes the power to enforce Her rules and the resources to pursue Her desires going forward.
Taking over the money is a major milestone in how She relates to Her man and how He responds to Her. We always share few stories:
§ One Woman commented that the day She assumed complete control of the money was the day She stopped asking and started telling. The day She went from “please” to “do it, damn it!” From a frustrated “happy Housewife” to a “regal Bitch.”
§ Another Woman noted the power that comes from hubby having to ask Her for money and Her being able to refuse his request.
§ Other Women relate how financial control quickly had Her husband going from “i’ll get to it” to “Yes, Ma’am!”
After a few stories like this, Nancy rings for me and i come out, full apron, and serve coffee or tea, usually to comments like, “Oh, Nancy, you’ve got him trained!” Or, “I love a man in an apron!” It’s at this point that i relate my experience with Nancy controlling the money and how very little else could make me more appreciate Her authority. i assure the Women that i appreciate the arrangement and that it is very satisfying to me as a progressive gentlemen. By this time – if they haven’t already – the Ladies have made up their minds that they want control of the money.
What does Her taking control do for the men? While we are not particularly concerned here with their feelings, the male reaction is initially quite the opposite of that of the Women. men often feel impotent to the point where many don’t have sex for weeks afterward. Having limited access to money makes them feel Her authority in a very real way. Many men quickly refocus themselves, paying close attention to their Wife’s wishes and wanting to do more in hopes that She will be benevolent towards them. And previously free spending men quickly get very thrifty!
What do we tell workshop participants about the Woman’s controlling money? Plenty! Let’s compile a list of what Women should do in taking and maintaining control…
(To be continued in next post)