Saturday, August 2, 2014
dennis: CONTROLLING THE FINANCES REVISITED, Part 2
(To pick up where we left off in part 1…)
What do we tell workshop participants about the Woman’s controlling money? Plenty! Let’s compile a list of what Women should do in taking and maintaining control…
As the superior gender, Women are entitled to control and use money as They desire.
Financial control requires his commitment, too -- once committed there’s no turning back!
It’s not “his and Her” money – it’s all Hers! And She can do with it as She sees fit.
We recommend Women provide hubby a regular allowance for personal items. Nancy provides me a set amount for personal spending, an amount that, nevertheless, i must account for. Failure to prudently manage my money may result in a suspension of allowance or a fine, determined by and payable to Nancy or Her Mother. i can ask for more money, but Nancy is under no obligation to grant my request – and She often dismisses it out of hand.
In our workshops Nancy recommends Women limit how much he carries as a precaution against frivolous spending. For instance, i am allowed no more than $20 in my wallet, and Nancy or Sue regularly check its contents. Having more than what’s allowed results in all of it being confiscated – and perhaps an additional fine.
Whether a Woman earns more than Her husband or not, he should be out working and earning an income to place at Her discretion. he’ll have plenty of time to do assigned chores after work; after all there are 24 hours in a day.
Women need to take a complete inventory of hubby’s financial assets. This includes bank accounts, pension plans, savings accounts, and so on. Paychecks, dividends, disbursements should all be deposited into a joint account. While the account is joint, She need not provide him with the user ID or password. Once deposited into a joint account, She can allocate it as She desires.
The progressive gentleman will happily disclose his finances to his Wife. Once She knows what he has and where, She can consolidate and allocate things as She desires.
If he has a savings plan at work, the money saved will be deposited in that plan. But make sure it stays there! One Woman reported that hubby was having a tidy sum of money deposited but quickly withdrawing it for frivolous personal spending. She quickly closed that loophole!
Men should have only limited use of debit and credit cards. i’m allowed to use a debit card for the weekly grocery shopping, gas, and so on. i’m required to immediately return the card after use and have to have a receipt for the purchases made. Usually a receipt is sufficient, but the Women often check online to validate that nothing else was spent – there never is, but the thought that it could be is a powerful statement of who is in charge.
In our household, major purchases are defined as anything over $50 and require Female approval. Depending on the value and item, i may have to show that i purchased the “best price” item and/or that i used coupons.
Coupon clipping is an important task for progressive gentlemen – the more he saves, the more She can spend! Make sure hubby looks through ads, online sources, and so on to find coupons. Coupon clipping is a good downtime activity.
i am involved in major purchases as Nancy and Sue permit, but usually only for household items. i have, for example, a vested interest in a new stove or a new iron, so my opinion is considered; but for something like a car, Nancy and HerMother are the decision makers and may not even involve me. When we last bought a car Nancy took me along not to consider my opinion but to let me pick the color!
i am only permitted to carry my company credit card and am forbidden to use it for personal purchases. Sue monitors the use of this card, just in case...
Women should be compensated for financial management; Nancy takes a 10% fee from my deposited pay each month for Her use.
Nancy has a variety of “buckets” to which She allocates “my” money. In addition to Her management fee, She puts 5% into a vacation fund, 5% into a gift fund, and routinely sends $100 to Her Niece in college. Sue also receives a monthly gratuity from my salary. Nancy takes Her portion as an online transfer, but i must write Nancy’s Niece monthly with a small note and include the $100. As for Sue, i present Her gratuity monthly in what has become a little ritual using a pink envelope with the money and a personal note of gratitude.
While i don’t have accounts, the Women do require that I set aside money for flowers, gifts, and charitable donations. Since my allowance is small, the Women supplement my contributions to these “buckets.” Nancy generously allocates monies needed for my work at the Women’s Center.
Nancy trumps Her financial control by telling me that “my money” is on Her shoe rack or hanging in Her closet. It’s a good investment for both of us.
Nancy and Sue require that i pay a fine in atonement for transgressions, demerits, or rules violations. No matter what other punishment is fixed, there is always a fine.
Women should also be aware that men can come into unexpected monies, such as a bonus or Uncle Fritz’s will. Nancy was home early last week so She could greet me at the door when i came home; nothing romantic, just the business of Her managing the money. She wanted to be there to have me hand over my bonus check. Apparently my boss Carol had let Nancy and Linda, tom’s Wife, know that we’d received checks, since She knows that the Women control the money in our households as She does in Hers. Not that tom or i would ever keep money from our Wives – we know the rules! – but a strong point was made when Nancy demanded it when i entered, and i instantly handed itover on one knee. Nancy always has plans for the money, often indulging Herself with things She might not otherwise get. One year She bought a diamond She’s been wanting, another time She and Sue went on a cruise, another time they went to Vegas. What did I get? Well, i never expect anything since it is Her money, but i did get a new iron.
What do i get from Nancy’s financial control? I get a happy Wife and a powerful feeling of Her being in complete control.