(Continuing the reprint of a two-part
guest post, this one from September 24, 2010, by “Beckie Sue,” who describes, in these
excerpts from a series of emails to me, her leading role as a wife in an FLR
and matriarch of a female led family.—Mark Remond)
Mark,
Thank
you for this post [“Au876 on Financial Control, Part 1"]. It has given me refreshing thoughts. I referred this post to a couple of my
friends to read and consider implementing some of the ideas.
I
agree that financial control for the wife is the most important part of the
marriage and solidifies her (my) control. This was hard for me to manage at
first, but now I would not have it any other way.
I
opened my own checking account a few years ago when I went back to work after
having our last child. After reading this I thought it a good idea to close our
joint account my husband pays bills out of. I talked with him and told him I
would like for him to deposit his paycheck into my private account. I will
start to pay all the bills and he will not see anything of his paycheck. He has
a debit card he uses when he wants to get something for himself; he will no
longer have access to that. He had questions and doubts, but I told him the decision
is final and permanent.
After
that conversation, my stomach was churning, maybe with some fear, but mostly
with excitement. Total financial control over your husband is many times more
powerful than control over everything else. I walked away with a real high,
like on drugs.
I
will not be giving him any allowance like others do. He has a blue-collar job
and brown bags it every day, so he doesn't need money for lunches. He is to
have $10 in his wallet if anything comes up, and needs to tell me when it does
so I can replenish it. If he needs to buy anything for the house or yard, he is
to ask for my debit card. I am sure I will have to make minor adjustments to
this as they come up.
Of
course he wasn't happy when I told him of this. But afterward he said his only
happiness is to see me happy. Which I am. When done, I told him to return to
his chores. It gives me “butterflies” in my belly when I tell him that.
*
Mark,
Thank
you for your for sharing my story with your wife. I felt uncomfortable sending
it to a man, but most female led relationship blogs by women are too much kink,
dominant, male hating, and I don't want to be involved in that.
My
story is “perfect-world”-based, of course. Are our boys always obedient and
worshipful? Yeaaaa...right! As they say, life happens. They need to be reminded
who they are. The way our daughters and I act sometimes, my husband and son
must wonder what is so superior about females. Female superiority is natural,
but we have a lot to learn about it.
Women
are advancing in the workplace in pay and promotions. But most wives would
still prefer not to have to work. I work part-time a few hours a week mostly
for the interaction of the people there. My husband earns enough that I don't
have to work. Would your wife prefer to not have to work full-time? I would
encourage you to get a part-time job weekends so she could “kick up her feet”
and do more for herself. Unfortunately in our economy today, too many wives
have to work, though many find their jobs fulfilling.
I
know how your wife feels with an egalitarian nature. A wife who understands
female superiority means realizing your husband is inferior, and women have a
hard time thinking of their husbands in a negative term like inferior. But the
facts I laid out for you in my story give no other option. Once your wife sees
herself as superior, that will allow her to accept your worship. Most husbands
today understand, even if subconsciously, that they are inferior to their
wives.
You
say my husband is a lucky man. He has to obey even when he disagrees. He comes
home from a hard day’s work (where they don't have A/C!) and, after taking a
shower, starts supper, cleans after supper and does other chores. He is no
longer allowed to watch TV (takes his focus away from focusing on my desires
and takes too long to get it back), has to be in bed by 10 p.m. (works 6:30
a.m. – 3 p.m.). After working all week, never sees or has access to any of the
money he earns. He has accepted all this to worship me. He admits lucky is the
last thing he is. He does it for me. I am the lucky one.
I can
enjoy myself doing something I love and come home to a hot-cooked meal. The
guys wait till us girls start to eat and they take what is left over. I have
the evening to enjoy with the kids, watch something on TV, or go out with some
girlfriends and come home late and not have to explain anything to him. I can
sleep late and wake up to fresh coffee, he has to put on another pot when he
leaves for work. I can spend money on whatever I want (within my budget). He
occasionally has to work a Saturday. That allows me to buy something special
that I show him so he knows what his overtime bought me; he specifically
requested I do this. I don't want to discuss our sex life, but I pursue it when
I want it, not him. And I am worshiped. “Lucky” is not the same at all as
“worshiped.” No, I don't consider men in an FLR to be lucky. To be a woman
knowing she is superior is special.
You
have a good site, but you need to have female perspectives of what it is like
to be worshiped.
*
Yes,
you may use my (real-life) story for your post, as long as you change the ages
a little, and any other personal information I may have in there. And feel free
to share with your wife, this is more important for all women to understand.
I can
understand how you have a hard time with being consistent, you were raised in a
society where women were considered equal to men and were expected to share or
do more of the chores than their husbands. I don't think you have accepted
female superiority as a fact yet, though you want to. If you did and truly
worshiped your wife, you would have no problem after you came home from work
and started in on dinner and your chores. You need to set a good example for
your children, and your wife will quickly accept her role to be worshiped.
In
the past, men were always required to work 12 hours a day in hard labor 6 days
a week. Farmers worked in their fields and barns from early morning till late
at night 7 days a week to provide for their wives and children. You have the
comfort of your wife's home to continue your work before you need to go to bed.
Why are men in our society reluctant to do their job?
Hopefully,
what I have written will help get people to understand and accept female
superiority as a fact of life. One point I would like to add. The last few
years, women have been striving for equality in all things. We are not equal,
we are superior. There are a few roles in life women should not be permitted to
be involved in. These would be safety forces (police and fire) and military
combat. It is the role of men to always protect women. In dangerous situations,
men will put others at risk to protect a woman…
Ask
those men on the Titanic who
encouraged women to enter the lifeboats, knowing the kind of death that awaited
them in the icy waters. Men understood the importance of women and protecting
them at the cost of their own lives. A century ago, men understood and followed
term “women and children first.”
*
In my
circle of friends, others husbands also serve their wives in various ways. All
are marriages where the wife is in control. We have a couple of friends who
want the arrangements we have but their husbands are uncooperative. Unfortunately
they have chosen to avoid us when possible.
Yes, these
friends are aware that my husband is the one who does all the housework; others
share the housework, or do most of it themselves. We (girls) have discussed
this often and they have brought it up to their husbands. Their husbands agree
they need to do more of the housework so their wives are able to spend more
time in more fulfilling pursuits.
Though
all agree they are in control of their marriage, they are amazed at my husband’s
obedience. None of the husbands criticize him; over the past few years, they
have learned to be more obedient to their wives.
I
have been in the company of some when the wife gave direction to her husband
about what housework to do as we were leaving her house, so my husband and I
have been a big influence of them.
(Next:
Beckie Sue on Female Led Families)
4 comments:
This is a message for Obedient Husband -- hope you can help. Switching from Yahoo! email to Gmail, I seem to have lost your current email address (only have the comcast one). Could you email it to me? Thanks, Mark
Done :)
I relish the time Women like Ms. Becky Sue would be active here. Now the blog is very quiet, and all there are from them are reposts. Sniff!
Anonymous, I agree! Come back, Beckie Sue, come back, Ms. Amanda!
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