Many men, upstaged by women in the workplace, are looking for a domestic role in support of a dynamic career woman. Fifty years ago women sought security by 'marrying well' -- that is, by marrying a man with high career potential. Women at that time married above themselves. Today it's the same, only it's the MEN who are looking to marry a successful career woman; they are looking to marry above themselves! Yes, they're anxious to support a woman by becoming homemakers – so take advantage, ladies! There are some easy – well, relatively easy – steps to take. Here are the first two:
Think about a few things:
- Women are emotionally, intellectually, and morally superior to men. We deserve to be in charge.
- No Guilt! Don't feel guilty about controlling your relationship, about giving orders, or about controlling the money. And don't hesitate in confronting him when necessary; from our workshops many men tell us that when you do, he's likely to back down. Lesson learned? SHE'S THE BOSS!
- Men Love BITCHES! In the workshops we conduct, men consistently tell of their admiration for strong, assertive, alpha women and how desirable these women are. Do you think that sexy is a size 2 dress size? Think again! A size 12 woman with an attitude will trump the petite model any day! Men want to work for strong women, serve them, obey them, and marry them. They see a positive relationship with strong women as security for themselves in a world where gender roles have been turned upside down.
- Men Love To Be Told What To Do! This is also a consistent message from our workshops and one that my husband also confirms. To their credit, most men really want to please women, but are clueless about what we want; so, ladies, tell them! And I don't mean tell them every little thing – that's game playing. Rather, lay out a broad routine of work and personal service and train him to do it; make it clear that this is what you expect. Every day he should have assigned housework to perform, errands, to run, and shopping to do -- in addition to looking after you. Men love routine and by providing one you make him happy. He'll feel that he is accomplishing something -- and he is! If he does as instructed, to your standards, then he will make you happy -- and he wants you to be happy, he really does! If he messes up though, he should understand that there will be consequences.
Start asserting yourself early in a relationship. That first date or first chance meeting is an opportunity to condition him to your making the decisions. What we hear is that men are attracted to an assertive alpha woman, so make sure he sees that side of you.
- Allow him to suggest but NEVER to decide; you're the decision maker and he needs to accept that.
- Expect him to pay your way; it's a first step toward your managing the money later. Besides, dating you is a privilege!
- Make requests of him as a way of his learning to obey; over time requests become instructions. And put aside 'please' and 'thank you'. They're not needed.