Friday, December 20, 2013

DENNIS: 'A GUY WHO HAS HIS FLR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT'

(Note from Mark Remond: Dennis was so impressed with a recent comment to an earlier post on HOUSEKEEPING 101  that he responded at some length, and then agreed to my reqeuest to make a separate post of it. You’ll find Tommy’s comment immediately below Dennis’ response.)
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Tommy,

Thank you for your excellent post spoken from the perspective of one who's in the lifestyle and obviously enjoying it. We have much in common in terms of our approach to serving our women and the assuming of our domestic responsibilities. i and other men i know in the lifestyle work from a schedule that parallels yours. Light cleaning every day with some heavier tasks also in play, circumstances permitting. I also have a daily tasks to tend to, laundry being one, ironing another.
And, as you note, serving the women is always top priority, so housekeeping may have to be postponed to accommodate their situation. If Nancy is going out of town on business, it's my job to pack her bags. If the women are entertaining, then my priorities are focused on preparing a small meal, serving drinks, greeting the women, hanging coats, making drinks, and so on. A lot of work but a lot of fun too. In these situations housekeeping takes a back seat temporarily and often gets done in the wee hours of the morning after the women have left. I have two hours of personal time allocated each day, but it's understood that this is only with the women's permission AND if my work is done; otherwise, personal time has to be work time.

Heavy cleaning is done on weekends or when the women are away, much as you note. It's a practical approach that allows me to focus my efforts appropriately. Any of the things i'm expected to do are spelled out. Nancy's mother, Sue, has standards for everything—such as “52 Things That Add up to a Clean Living Room.” These are things She checks when inspecting my work—and She does inspect! Sounds burdensome but it isn't; i know exactly what's expected and do it.


You are also correct that one must be efficient; this is very important. There's a lot to get done and get done in an acceptable manner. Unfortunately, when most men are trained, often by their wife or a member of her family, efficiency just isn't taught, leading to problems later. In a pending post i will discuss my working as a housekeeper in both a hotel and for a residential maid service. Frankly, this is what most men should be getting, not just instruction on basic skills but on how to do these things efficiently; how to do more in less time. Sue arranged my housekeeper work for that reason; the more efficient I am, the more i can do. My doing more makes all of us happy. I take a lot of pride in serving the women and in keeping house; it's enjoyable and fulfilling. Men in traditional relationships just don't understand, but once one gets into an FLR, men get another perspective and adapt readily to the role of homemaker.

Nancy and i have a number of earlier posts on this blog that concern things like housekeeping, shopping, and so on, all topics that are important to a mutually fulfilling FLR. We both appreciate your comment; it's always nice to hear from others in the lifestyle.

d

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Tommy’s comment on “MORE COMMENTS ON ‘HOUSEKEEPING 101”:

I find it fascinating how much guidance men need in housekeeping. I guess I've been doing it so long, I have been regarding housework as a common sense skill, refined to Her preferences. One point I find particularly useful to convey is "efficiently" effective housekeeping. Anybody can spend 3 hours to make a bathroom spotless and sparkling, but to do as perfect a job in 45 minutes or LESS is the challenge.

One point I would like to convey is scheduling. In Her house we have established a housekeeping schedule. A whole-house light cleaning is done daily as schedules permit. I say as schedules permit because lets be honest, one cannot always work a full day at the office, come home, cook, clean, shop, serve AND please Her, every day! Some nights we entertain, or go out, or simply devote the night to Her pleasure, BUT the tasks must be made up, naturally. So, light cleaning daily. Deep-cleaning at least 2 rooms on Sunday while She shops with Her Gal-pals or, during this time of year, watches football with them. Deep-cleaning involves cleaning walls, floors, ceiling fans, scrubbing bathroom fixtures, polishing and moving furniture and appliances to clean behind, windows and vacuuming, plus washing all sheets and towels.

During this time, it's important to note that i am to serve their slightest whim if they're home. And, i am strictly prohibited from placing a single glance at the television, ESPECIALLY if it's a sporting event (men+tv(esp. sports)=worthless zombie). Special projects (home improvement, painting, repairs, etc) are undertaken when She is away on Her Gals weekends monthly.

Efficiency in shopping is also very important. You often see men wandering the market like zombies looking for the most basic of items. Learn the shop, where everything is, when it's stocked, and the prices of items. Know what you want. Have a list. And critical, know the checkers. Who's fast, who chats, who's helpful. Go in, get it all, get out. I plan shopping continually and organize my list and coupons during lunch breaks at work, and ALWAYS ask Her if there's anything special i need to pick up. Oh, and need I say that everything mentioned above should be concluded with "...or as otherwise directed".

Great blog, as always!!

7 comments:

Surrendered Husband said...

I would love to see a copy of your “52 Things That Add up to a Clean Living Room.” and or any other lists that might help us budding house boys.

Doing things better and more efficiently are two of our most important skills in serving and pleasing our Ladies.

Burke Lang said...

You guys are true role models for the rest of us. i am going to emulate you. i hope today's college women are reading this blog and learning how to manage their prospective husbands.

Mark Remond said...

Burke - amen. BTW, apropos of your Google Plus youtube link, the writer & star of "Assisting Venus," @michele_martin says on her website that a DVD of the film will be made available. The screenplay, I see, can be bought on Kindle for $9.99. Hot stuff! Thanks for the video tease!

Burke Lang said...

Thanks, Mark. I'm looking forward to the release. I'm surprised she hasn't marketed it to the femdom community.

tommy said...

Wow! I'm so honored to be cited on your blog. Thank you. Burke, I have to say how envious I am that you're considering the FLR lifestyle as a college student in this Information Age! When I was in college (pre-Internet), I thought I was the only human on the planet with this inherent drive to serve Women (as a lifestyle). I remember seeing an ad in the City Paper advertising P.O.W.E.R. (Promoting the Organization of Women Enlightened to Rule). I was so excited, I mailed my self addressed stamped envelope, got back all this really encouraging literature mailed in my membership fee, and never heard another word. My hopes were dashed! You're very lucky to have wonderful resources like this blog! For you and other newbies, some quick advice. Don't get discouraged! There will be low points, frustrations, and conflicts with would-be Matriarchs. It's natural. You'll want to quit for the conventional patriarchy 100 times, but you won't and shouldn't. It's well worth the effort in the end! Also, you'd be amazed at how Women today are receptive to FLR. Spoil Her! Use that male competitive ego for good and not evil by constantly one-upping yourself in the way you serve Her. Have Her know She's #1 bar none! ALWAYS work your schedule around Hers, and assure Her you will be available at Her call ALWAYS! Never Tell her what you're doing, ASK Her if you may. And always acquiesce, apologize, even if you think you're in the right because, no matter what, you're not (unless She says you are, and even then you owe her an apology). The rewards to all this will lead to a blissfully loving relationship. Happy holidays :)

Anonymous said...

Do you boys constantly ask for extra chores or are you just expected to find what needs doing yourselves.

I do a bit of both but I think she likes the latter more.

Yes yes and thrice yes to energy and efficiency savings so that we can get more in and make our homes more pleasnt.

Femsup

tommy said...

Femsup,

It takes a little of both, but in the end initiative takes the prize (Her happiness)! For me it started out as "you will clean My house (Hers because She holds all ownership. I actually bought the house before we met, but when we got serious She moved in, we put the house in both our names, and have since removed my name from the deed altogether). Write down every detail of what you've done in each room, then I will evaluate." And evaluate She did. She edited the list, basically doubling it. Now it's all so routine, but occasionally I'll come up with a new or additional method, thank you Good Housekeeping!, but I ALWAYS, run it by Her first, NOT expecting accolades, only feedback.