Thursday, December 26, 2013

DENNIS: CHECKLIST FOR CLEANING A LIVING ROOM

(Note from Mark Remond: In response to a request from “Surrendered Husband” and others, Dennis has supplied his “52 Things” list. “The list,” he notes, “speaks to our own situation and our own household so some [readers] will surely dismiss some of the items. We have lists for other tasks as well, but neither Nancy’s mother, Sue, nor i are of the mind to release these.”)

52 Things to Cleaning a Living Room

The living room is a focal point of the home for family and guests. Thus, it needs to be immaculately clean and well organized—and, in the case of an FLR, that of course means by the “man of the house,” who performs all domestic duties. The women of Nancy's family put this list together as a way of formally communicating what is required to properly clean a living room. It seems that at one point the male definition of cleaning a living room differed significantly from what the women thought it entailed. So, to align things with their requirements and to minimize the need for the women to get involved in housekeeping issues, this list was devised. It is thorough but NOT an all-
encompassing list. From time to time the women will feel the need to add to this list or to change things; that is, of course, their prerogative. After it was originally put together, the women of Nancy's family got the men together and went through the list, item by item, showing them exactly what was required. To aid the men’s learning, the list wasn't handed out; rather the men had to write it down for themselves. I encountered this list soon after I started going home with Nancy for weekends with her family, but that's another story.

Note that, taken together, the 52 items define a thorough cleaning of the living room, of the sort that takes place every three-four weeks or as the woman-in-charge stipulates. This is NOT to say that the living room needs attention only every three-four weeks. Much to the contrary, the living room needs to be cleaned to some degree on a DAILY basis. Thus the gentleman homemaker will give the living room his careful attention by including it in his daily routine. So, on to the 52 points:

  1. The living room is cleaned EVERY DAY
  2. In the interest of efficiency bring all the cleaning tools and other items you will need to complete a daily cleaning; YOU are responsible for acquiring your own cleaning tools! A lack of supplies or cleaning tools is not an excuse for not doing assigned tasks! AND an apron is mandatory; it instills a proper attitude and focus
  3. Look over the living room; is anything out of place or been moved, a chair or table, perhaps? If so, put the items where they belong
  4. Check liquor cabinet is stocked with liquors, glasses, etc. Replenish as needed.
  5. Look over the picture frames or other wall hangings; dust and straighten them as needed
  6. Rearrange the decorative pillows placed on the sofa and chairs; whether they were moved or not; an enlightened gentleman will see the value in his doing so
  7. Check the flower vases; if the live flowers are past their prime, discard them and remove the vase. Make a note to replace the live flowers no later than the next day
  8. Check and water the potted plants
  9. Ensure that coasters are clean and returned to their holder
  10. Check and rearrange the silk flowers; refresh the arrangement periodically; an enlightened gentleman will see the value in his doing so
  11. Look over the window treatments; are they hanging correctly? If not, fix them! If you are cleaning the living room at the start of the day, open the drapes before starting; if you are cleaning the living room at the end of the day, close them when you're finished
  12. Gather and remove cups, glasses, saucers, drinks, bottles, plates, etc. Remove these items properly, using your tray
  13. If sweaters or coats have been left in the living room, hang them
  14. If shoes have been left in the living room, return them to the wearer's closet after cleaning
  15. Tend to the coffee table and end tables. Dust and remove any spots, smudges, or spills.
  16. Replace all ashtrays on a daily basis; empty, remove, wash the ashtrays you replaced; after cleaning return these ashtrays to the cupboard
  17. Ensure that there are matches in place for the benefit of smokers; match books should be located on the table with covers sprung open; match books with any matches removed are unacceptable and should be replaced
  18. Discard the contents of the candy dish on a daily basis; wash the dish and replace it with a new one with fresh items. The items should vary day-to-day so as to present a variety to the women of the house and their guests
  19. Locate and return the TV and DVD remotes to their places; check that the remotes function; replace batteries if necessary
  20. Remove and properly store any CDs and/or DVDs
  21. Inspect the TV screen; clean if necessary
  22. Return magazines to the magazine rack. Ensure that the magazines in the rack are arranged by magazine name and date, most recent on top
  23. Check that lamps are functioning; immediately replace any burnt-out bulbs
  24. Ensure that the ceiling fan is properly functioning
  25. Carefully inspect for any spills and spots on the rugs; spot clean and dry as necessary; use a blotting motion in caring for spots or spills; redo and redo again if the spot doesn't come out the first time
  26. Dusting – go through the living room with a duster, addressing the furniture, shelves, tables, and chairs
  27. Dust the hardwood floor around the area rug
  28. Wipe door knobs and switch plates
  29. Vacuum – Vacuum high-traffic areas of the living room on a daily basis; go
    over these areas at least twice to ensure appropriate cleaning
  30. Vacuum S-L-O-W-L-Y! The vacuum cleaner is more effective that way
  31. Check the sofa and chairs for spills; spot clean if necessary
  32. Fluff the cushions on the sofa and chairs; vacuum if necessary
  33. Using a duster with an extension clear the crown molding all around the room to eliminate any dust or cobwebs
  34. Move furniture a section at a time to allow dusting of baseboards and chair
    rail; repeat until the entire living room rug has been cleaned in this way
  35. Use a crevice tool to vacuum close to base boards and other tight spots; upright vacuums just don't seem to be able to get close enough
  36. With furniture moved thoroughly, vacuum. This means going over the area three times in two perpendicular directions and doing so S-L-O-W-L-Y!
  37. Sprinkle baking soda or carpet freshener over the area of the rug just vacuumed; wait a few minutes and vacuum again
  38. Thoroughly dust the tables and chairs, being careful to get in, around, and under; pay particular attention to decorative details in the furniture that can collect dust
  39. After cleaning tables and chairs, and eliminating any smudges, apply furniture polish and buff to an appropriate shine
  40. Thoroughly clean sofa and chair cushions, vacuuming, spot cleaning, and if necessary washing or having professionally cleaned – professional cleaning is ONLY with the approval of the woman-in-charge
  41. Vacuum the sofa and chairs thoroughly front, back, inside and out
  42. Thoroughly dust the TV stand and its components
  43. Thoroughly dust bookcases. This means removing books from the cases a few at a time and dusting them as well as their shelves
  44. Clean lamps and lamp shades; if you have the woman's confidence, she may allow you to replace the lampshades with some of your own choosing
  45. Carefully remove and dust knickknacks, noting exactly where they were located in the display case, tables, bookcases, etc. Return the knickknacks to their exact previous location.
  46. Take down all window treatments and clean and wash as appropriate. If you have the confidence of the woman to choose window treatments, do so and replace the ones that were hanging; otherwise, ask the woman-in-charge to make a selection
  47. Wash windows inside and out; wash each window a minimum of two times
  48. Clean ventilation, heating and cooling grates and registers
  49. Ensure that doors are thoroughly dusted, including the tops of door frames; often overlooked; this is the first area to be inspected and she WILL inspect!
  50. Clean the downstairs powder room/guest bathroom every day. The powder
    room is considered an extension of the living room. This is an on-your-knees cleaning that includes toilet, sink, floors, and supplies
  51. Periodic professional cleaning is required for carpets, drapes, and upholstery. Consult with the woman-in-charge if you feel such services are needed; be prepared to justify your opinion
  52. Work with the woman-in-charge to review the furniture arrangement in the living room to see if she wants to make any changes; do as she directs





8 comments:

Surrendered Husband said...

Thank you Dennis.
It must be a wonderful thing to have all your expectations laid out so clearly for you.
You really must thank the ladies in your home on my account for this nice list.

eustudent said...

Thanks for the list, Dennis. Love how you included small gestures of great symbolism, such as taking care of her clothes and shoes. I recall an older post where you described how female attire is being associated with power nowadays; then it's only natural that men should pay a lot of attention to it. Polishing her designer boots says a lot about who's in charge!

Anonymous said...

Yes, thanks. A very helpful list.
To my mind, the beauty of this regimen is that while my wife may not notice I carry out this or that particular task on a daily basis, she does recognize the overall effect and behind that she recognizes the respect for her that the work implies.

Mark Remond said...

Anonymous (just above), That is so very well said, especially "behind that she recognizes the respect for her that the work implies." A reward worth pursuing for a dutiful husband, earning such a recognition and being able to demonstrate your respect on a daily basis. Not just to clean the kitchen, but to demonstrate your respect for her in so doing.

Alex said...

Hi,

Loved your post. Thanks. How is your holiday season so far? I don't celebrate Christmas so for me it's just regular days but I am asking just because I know you probably do.

I have some questions, hope you don't mind. You can answer them if you want...
Are the candies only for the Women and their guests? You can't take? What is to rearange the pillows on the sofas? When are you required to wear an apron? Every single time you do ANY of these things, even just put back the shoes in their place?
What happens if you break a rule? Have you ever been punished? How? What happens if you don't do the bathroom downstairs kneeling? Are you allowed to (meaning is that a recommendation or a rule)?

Hope you want to answer the questions, but of course totally understand if you don't and it's up to you... just kidding, it's first of all up to Miss Nancy, of course! (It's just funny to think of a husband deciding too many things in our Matriarchal world)
Thanks!

Alex said...

Hi

I have a question about age and I would like to address it to the Ladies involved in the groups about empowering Women over men...

We have touched these subjects before, especially since Ms. Becky (Ms. Kathy's daughter from Femdom101) and Ms. Zoe and Ms. Sandra have been involved in dominating other members of their family.

In a Female led society, a dreamworld "as it was meant to be by nature" where Females rule, what happens when a very young girl is with an older man? For instance, if your wife were to bring her friend and her friend's daughter to dinner, how would your relationship to that daughter, say she is barely an adult be? What about if you were say 25 and there was an 18 year old Girl? what about father daughter relationships?

An intersting twist to this is exploing what Matriarchy would do to dating. In the patriarchy, it was common for the guy to be older, smetimes even a lot older than the Woman. Would it be inverse in the Matriarchy or would we see a little bit of both? Imagine if a Woman much older and another one much younger both liked the same guy (say a 25 year old liked by a 20 and a 45 year old). Would that be normal? does that make any sense to you? I think Women are in authority for being superior in essence, so age doesn't matter but how would it work out in a day to day real life society? Please give me your opinion and don't forget to talk about how this would relate to authority, punishment and ownership.

I would like to tell you what I think:

Much younger girl-- As long as the Female authority is obvious dating a very young girl if she wants that is good. It has to be in a "humiliating" manner and I am not talking about "humiliation" per sé but rather aout making it obvious that her authority comes from being Female and over-rides being much younger. Otherwise, what is Matriarchal about dating a younger girl?

Much older Lady -- I like the position of power that older women have that comes with age. I have a weakness for cougars (Demi Moore style, for instance) and the age factor plays a big role in the domination and table turning (Matriarchizing) of the dating scene. The point is her using him as a toy, a bit of an object and fully imposing her authority on him based first of all on her Femininity ad secondly on her age and thus position of power. We need more cougar bars!

Mark Remond said...

Dennis responds to Alex's first question above (though not the second):

"We are talking about the small decorative pillows on the sofa, not the sofa cushions themselves. Rearranging them not only changes the look but indicates that the sofa itself has been tended to.

"i wear an apron anytime i'm doing housework or tending to the needs of the women.

"Finally and 'on-your-knees-cleaning' refers to a thorough cleaning that necessitates one gets on their knees to do the work, not some sort of ritual thing."

Alex said...

Thanks. I hope my second question was not inappropriate.