Monday, December 16, 2013


Here are my answers to two recent reader questions:

Q. What are your beliefs in regard to female authority in the workplace?

Of course I believe that having women in positions of authority in the workplace is a good idea. In my own line of work, men and women work together. I am usually in charge, however, when I work for a theatre, as I am the head of the department.

Female authority in my workplace works a little differently, with both men and women having, or being capable of having, similar positions of power. As far as I am concerned, I know whatever stage set I step on
to, whatever theatre I end up working in, I know I am the one in charge. I enjoy my work because I am making a very nice salary, and as artists we all are inspired by one another. Those who have seen my personal relationship—as my boyfriend works in the arts, though not the same section—have commented on it, and I have been able to bring it into my own department as well.
As you might guess, I think any ascent of women to positions of authority is a benefit to society in general. It is good for women to take on authority and responsibility, and it is good for men to feel comfortable in subordinate roles. They can finally act out their wonderful talent of obeying rules by ceasing to compete so much in areas which require more connections. It will be of great benefit to them.

I have read some of the Female Supremacy information on this website, and while I agree with some of it, I think the change lies more in the attitude of women toward themselves and how men see themselves than in career achievement. Leadership comes in so many forms; it comes from personal power and self-confidence. Women must create a unified effort if they are to assume a general state of control, whereas currently they seem to be more interested in their individual achievement. So this is something I see as blocking women on their leadership path. They should stop seeing men as something against which they must compete.

Self-confidence and personal power come from an unstoppable sense that what you have to offer is unique, valuable, and perfectly respectable. First off, I would never see men as a threat because, well, they are men. Emotional, insecure, and in need of constant guidance and supervision, It is up to women to understand and soothe men's fears and quietly and calmly relegate them to their proper roles. We will assure men we have no need to compete with them; they will definitely be accorded a role appropriate to the future, one much better than the one they have previously played, and they will appreciate all the discipline and structure we give them.

Q. Do you believe in Matriarchy or a female-dominated society, and what would that look like?

In my general view, society has always been matriarchal; it's only that women did not assert themselves as blatantly as they do now, and are now assuming more institutional power and are trying out combinations of power and strength. The idea that being “soft” is inherently feminine or that “logic” is inherently male is, in my opinion, a fallacy concocted by men to justify outrageous behaviour which we women have tolerated and even permitted for far too long. “Unspoiling” children might take awhile, but it is worth it in the end. Men have been lied to and deluded into the belief of themselves as the only capable leaders for a long time. It will take a firm but gentle hand to correct their behaviour and lead them to better choices.

I personally think a matriarchal society can come about only when women cease arguing among each other and think in a “bonded,” unified way. After all, we will all need some assistance in helping our men adjust to a new role in society, we should really not waste our energy fighting one another.

It might be a great thing if women in charge were preferred, but I think giving men a little freedom might help to keep their spirits up. Good men, like mine, pose little or no threat to women. But if we could shift things to a more appropriate power structure, where a woman could exercise discipline in the workplace and at home, it would be of a general benefit to society.

After having said all this, I suppose I do believe in a matriarchal world. I have a friend, Stéphanie, with a completely matriarchal household. Her son, Hugo, is the youngest of three (two older girls). For both Hugo and his father, Laurent, household chores are the first priority, and Hugo spends his time after school making a snack for and waiting on his sisters when they get home from school and only doing his own homework once the dishes from dinner have been put away. Stéphanie never looks at Hugo's report card, and after he turns sixteen he will leave school and help his father around the house. I suppose it is important to provide men with a great space inside the home, although I guess everyone is different. It would be great if men wanted to volunteer their services. I only can only speak for my relationship in that my boy is keeping his butt in the kitchen where he belongs.

When people I work with find out about the relationship (and I have given a few women I know some suggestions), some find the idea exciting, others think I am being too hard on my boy. They think he's “too nice” for this, but it's his loving and accommodating manner that attracts me to him. As for some of these men at work, I have in fact smacked them on the butt after firmly establishing a relationship of appropriate submission. I generally walk into a room quite confident and have been working on this my entire life. When I was spanking my cousins, one of whom is older than me, I made sure the dominance permeated every aspect of my relationship, speech and interaction with him. It's the same with work. Although a lot of the men I work with are not into women, and therefore it is a little different, a few of them lead very chaotic lives and respond well to discipline. You must be careful, of course, that this is a steady and natural progression—not just all of a sudden. I have spanked male friends, I have told them what to do. I am the mistress of men in my life.


Madame Beatrice said...

Fantastic. It is refreshing to see such a similar and accurate outlook as my own presented by an articulate and clearly all-women-as-one centered Woman. Bravo!

Albert said...

Thank you Helene for reaffirming what I have believed in for years!
I am sure all of the men who work under your direction, appreciate you greatly. I certainly appreciate your thoughts, and insight that you place on this blog.

Alex said...

Wished you were a fiction writer with a Female Domination agenda. Would you ever write shoty stories of the sort? I think the pen is mightier than the sword and I would read your stories. You could even sell them. Download them and read and the money goes either to you or to a charity of your choosing. Please?

Burke Lang said...

Beautiful post. Do you think it might be possible to feature an interview with Stéphanie about her views and her relationship with Laurent?

Anonymous said...

I don't think Helene is into fiction. I am sure everything she writes is the truth, and that she believes in it with complete conviction.

charlie said...

Ms. Helene, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to answer questions and provide information that is helpful to both men and women. You are absolutely correct, as always, that women need to be more confident in themselves and as a group. I am married to a woman who doesn't have the confidence that I wish she had. I try and try to help her build confidence but to no avail. I do the dishes, I vacuum, I did the mid night feedings with the kids, I bathe the kids every night but she keeps telling me not to because that is 'her job as a woman'. I want nothing more then to kneel and be owned by her but that will never happen. respectfully yours charlie

Mr. Concerned said...

Your friend intends to have her son drop out of high school at 16 and spend his time doing household chores? Disgusting. There's nothing like creating a nation of male high school drop-outs. You think that would make a better society? I think this shows what matriarchy is all about.

Hélène said...

Thank you so much for the comments.

Alex, I barely have time to read any fiction. When I do read, it's work-related, and there is not a lot of reading in my field, although this website has provided me with most of my pleasure reading these days! I also make more than enough in my career, and have no desire to change.

The life I describe is that between me and a boy I have been with for a while, and I DO think he is better placed in the house. He will learn to like it. I might ask Stéphanie if that is okay.

Dear Charlie, while I am not a housekeeper, other women are. If you really want to kneel before her, and have not done so, do so, and ask what her man CAN do for her. It could be that her taking charge of the house IS how she is expressing her dominance. I would just follow as many of her house rules as humanly possible, and obey her in all things. Maybe you could make your job or what you do outside the relationship seem not as nearly as important as her housekeeping or rearing the children. Excuse the unsolicited advice, just thought I would suggest it.
If I did not believe it or live it, I would not write it down.

Hélène said...

Mr Concerned,

Women throughout history have been encouraged to drop out of school around the same time. I don't see you criticizing THAT practice in your comment. I don't really see why such a strict matriarchal view is any worse than strict Patriarchy, personally. Funny how men only turn into advocates for equality when they are the ones being disadvantaged, but have no problem wanting to reestablish patriarchal values. Besides, it's her household, not mine.

Obedient husband said...

Lady Helene,

Rich! Thank you for sharing.

May I presume that you support boys entering into fields that are traditionally female professions?

I'm in nursing school.

My wife has told me that she doesn't want the higher education effecting change in my naturally submissive personality. Even after finishing school I won't have as much education as does she. She tolerates little argument and no disrespect from me, so I look forward to being her submissive for a really long time.

Thanks again,

Selene said...

Mr Concerned.

I don't think we need to worry about male high school dropouts. The women are picking up the slack, and running the corporations, becoming Doctors, and driving trucks themselves.

These dropout you speak of don't need to be begging for money. They can always get a job as a nanny for a woman who needs one. If they are married, they could stay at home, and keep the house nice, and tidy while their wife brings home the money. Just because a person may not be university educated does not mean he can't be a contributing member of his family or society in general.

charlie said...

Ms. Selene and Ms. Helene, your points are 100% accurate. Just because someone drops out doesn't mean they can't be very valuable to society. To say what mr. concerned said is to say that women for hundreds of years have been of zero value to society because they didn't have a university degree and that is simply wrong. I have a masters degree and advanced degrees in finance but I would literally give that up in order to care for my wife and family in a domestic manner.

The fact is our society will continue to evolve and grow into a female led society. The head of the federal reserve is now a woman, the head of general motors is a woman. The NYTimes did an article on wall street women and their stay at homes husbands who do the chores. For centuries men ruled with their muscles because there was no choice. Now muscles are needed in the house, not the workplace. As more women become educated and their confidence grows they will become more comfortable to find the men that understand their roles are to support not lead. It is a natural progression that will take time sadly. You have men like me living in hope for a female led relationship but there are men like Helene's boy that has found the perfect dream life. By the time Hugo is older the structure he grew up with will be more common then you can think. Think about the number of male chasity devices sold every year. Female control is growing, and it's not about the kink but about a woman taking control of the relationship and household in order to have a healthy, loving, and proper relationship structure. I bet the number of divorces and nightly arguments at Female led households are very low compared to non female led - a happier healthier home life for the family.

And Ms. Helene, please I always welcome your advice. In a way you are a mentor to all of us because you live this.

Thank you all.


Mr. Concerned said...


You're right, women and girls were oppressed for centuries. In some places they still are.

Let me state, for the record, I think what's being done to girls in places like Afghanistan is appalling. Being burned with battery acid for learning to read? I can think of a few things I'd like to do to those men. If you want to have that discussion sometime, I'd be happy to. But this thread is about matriarchy, and you were marveling at your friend's style of matriarchal household.

Matriarchy isn't worse than patriarchy, just the victims are a different gender. But it's not any better, is it? This seems to be the crux of FLR-Matriarchy crowd; well, it was done to women for centuries, so this is payback. You forget that we've moved on as a society. You should to.

To Selene and Charlie, I did not say that someone without a degree is of no value. I'm saying to deny someone the opportunity to pursue liberty as they see fit is immoral. And who's changing tune now? If you're arguing against patriarchy because of the oppression of women, how can you argue for matriarchy and the oppression of men?

Charlie, you would gladly give up your degrees and high-paying job? But you still have your degrees and that's your decision. Do what makes you happy. My point is that for a parent to force their child to drop out of school is the height of irresponsibility.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Helene, I greatly appreciate your thoughts on these questions, and to me they make a lot of sense. Women do men a favor by providing structure and discipline because, as you say, men tend to allow their emotions to override their reason and are very insecure. For that reason society has always been potentially matriarchal. Now that more women see this, the proper roles, as you put it of each, are falling into place. Wonderful insight!

As a man, I know that when I am confronted with a confident female leader, I tend to assume a subordinate and submissive role. It seems natural and pleasurable in that I'm more at one with myself. I agree with you that for most men, being a leader is a mask that when taken off, is a great relief. This also may answer "Mr. Concerned's" point. There's nothing wrong with being the submissive and supportive one if that's your nature. Being a supportive househusband may not require a degree, especially if your wife already has one.

Now for a question to Ms. Helene. Can you expand on this statement of yours: "They can finally act out their wonderful talent of obeying rules by ceasing to compete so much in areas which require more connections." What do you mean by connections?


Anonymous said...

This leads me to wonder how well a society would function if their government at a federal level we're entirely led by women, and the men in society had their right to vote removed? How would men feel? Previously in western societies it was expected, and this policy was upheld against the female portion of the population with no complaint from men.

In the United States, it took approximately 100 years of effort for women to gain the right to vote finally in 1920. The government functioned without women's votes, why couldn't a female run government function without the man vote? Thoughts?

Alex said...

The idea of only Females voting is fantastic!
I think the less people who are allowed to vote the better so that only the ones who actually understand what they are doing vote. I think it would be great to have a Female run government and society but that is not ALL that is needed; we need the Ladies running the world to be committed to world peace and to justice for all societies and all individuals. I don't think we should do it as a way to "punish" men for "their crimes" or anything like that. Sorry, but that would be ridiculous. But I think it's time to move on to a higher form of living which would be matriarchal and to recognize it as OK for men to be submissive homemakers and order followers of the Superior Gender. I know it "sounds" horrible but it's not, it's nature's design. And it doesn't mean that men should NEVER vote, it just means there should be societies like that and people should be allowed to choose to live in them. Let's give it a chance. It's a model that I think could work, depending on the Females. And I like it when I can rely on Females that are dependable, protecting and just as loving as they are authoritative. On my part, I want to be courted by Females, spanked by Females, and I want to pamper them, cook for them, do their laundry and listen to them. It's love for me, not humiliating. Femdom rocks! I like it and I want to give it a real chance, with all the no-voting part. I'd love to be courted by a Female who is actively politic and who doesn't believe males should be. She could talk to me about other things such as about what she wants me to cook for her or how pretty I look. That's what I want

Anonymous said...

it seems that this blog finally has a new Queen; the throne, so to speak, was empty ever since Nancy left - but no more! You rock, Helene, and we are eager to hear more! It's refreshing to see the increased number of comments and the ongoing debates - thank you!

Sharon said...

(Anonymous above) You are so correct! Helene certainly does entice interesting thought, and sometimes spirited debate. I would love to know Helene's thoughts on the comment above regarding a government staffed, and voted in solely by women.

I do wish that people would at least attach a phony name to their comments so others could discern who they are referring to at times.

Hélène said...

Mr Concerned, in the time you have taken to argue your point, you could have been cleaning, cooking, or serving your wife/girlfriend. Or, if you don't have one, going out and getting one. (Though he does not seem to be responding anymore)
LS - I suppose a better way to put that would be to say tasks which require stronger organizational and focus skills.
Obedient Husband - Yes, I would support boys entering supportive/caring positions.
Anonymous - *blush* Thank you. It would not be as successful, without this great readership.

charlie said...

Ms. Helene,
You mentioned earlier that you have given guidance to your female co-workers on female led relationships. I would appreciate any guidance on how men like me can speak to their wives or girlfriends on taking control. I rub her feet, I do the dishes, I vacuum, I fold laundry, I bathe and put the kids to sleep (maybe I already live in a FLR), but I want to take the control further and be put on an allowance and have no ability to access money and to be placed in chasity so I don't waste my energy of selfish activities. but my wife needs me to be the 'big strong man' so I fear if I told her what I want she would not see me in the same way. honestly I am also nervous that once I open the door to a true FLR there is no going back. I still get grumpy from time to time and I argue about chores. but I would need the type of loving punishment you do to your boy to keep me in line, but that also makes me nervous. Once you are spanked or put in the corner or forced to sleep on the floor there is no turning back. I guess I am scarred of what I really want. sorry for rambling Ms. I hope you and everyone have a wonderful and safe holiday season.

Anonymous said...

I am a firm believer in Female Supremacy and have been kept as a slave by Wife/Mistress for over 20 years but like Mr. Concerned I see no reason why a male cannot be permitted to achieve some academic success which would benefit his Female owner. For example, Wife rents me out to a powerful Female attorney who pays for my time by depositing a paycheck into Wife's account. I earn this money for Wife and have no control over it. Only Wife knows the ATM code to Her account and She accesses the money I earn whenver She wishes. It may be that Helene's friend's son is best suited for a lifetime of domestic work but doing it in Mother's house for the rest of his life would be a dead end. Hopefully his Mother is simply going to train him so that She could sell him to a younger Dominant Woman as a househusband.
(By lawslave)

Hélène said...


It sounds like you and your wife's ideals are at odds. It might take some time to make an arrangement that suits both of you. If she wants you to be a "big strong man", then I would try at first to be as chivalrous as possible. Get her accustomed to accepting your service in a way that makes her happy, and introduce things over r comfortable with the idea and making yourself seem "strong" in your weakness is probably the best solution. I personally would just reinforce your service by reminding her that "to please you is my only desire". Acquiesce to her pleasure as often as possible. my boyfriend uses all kinds of usual words to talk to me, but they are filled with love and genuine affection. Don't rush this. Some women such as me are born dominant and fiercely so, but others are more nurturing and see their "dominance" another way. Be patient with her and subtle. As far as being punished I believe I am as strict as they come. But most women are not so strict.

Anonymous, It is Stéphanie's desire for him to find a nice woman to marry him.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Helen, is Stephanie going to expect Her son to find this Woman on his own or will She contact other Matriarchs with daughters looking for slave husbands and give him to the other household? Thank you for responding to me Ma'am. (By lawslave)

Anonymous said...

That should have been Ms. Helene, not Ms. Helen. Sorry Ma'am I should be punished. (by lawslave

Anonymous said...

There is no reason why an intelligent well mannered boy cannot be a splendid helpmate after leaving school at 16.

Tertiery education should be for the more intelligent sex and I would think Hugo would want to hurry home every evening into the calm and kindness of a Matriarchal home.

In time with the advice of his parents and others and with the permission of his Mother he will find a loving woman to control him.