HÉLÈNE: FEMALE AUTHORITY IN THE WORKPLACE & MATRIARCHY

Here are my answers to two recent reader questions:

Q. What are your beliefs in regard to female authority in the workplace?

Of course I believe that having women in positions of authority in the workplace is a good idea. In my own line of work, men and women work together. I am usually in charge, however, when I work for a theatre, as I am the head of the department.

Female authority in my workplace works a little differently, with both men and women having, or being capable of having, similar positions of power. As far as I am concerned, I know whatever stage set I step on

to, whatever theatre I end up working in, I know I am the one in charge. I enjoy my work because I am making a very nice salary, and as artists we all are inspired by one another. Those who have seen my personal relationship—as my boyfriend works in the arts, though not the same section—have commented on it, and I have been able to bring it into my own department as well.

 

As you might guess, I think any ascent of women to positions of authority is a benefit to society in general. It is good for women to take on authority and responsibility, and it is good for men to feel comfortable in subordinate roles. They can finally act out their wonderful talent of obeying rules by ceasing to compete so much in areas which require more connections. It will be of great benefit to them.

I have read some of the Female Supremacy information on this website, and while I agree with some of it, I think the change lies more in the attitude of women toward themselves and how men see themselves than in career achievement. Leadership comes in so many forms; it comes from personal power and self-confidence. Women must create a unified effort if they are to assume a general state of control, whereas currently they seem to be more interested in their individual achievement. So this is something I see as blocking women on their leadership path. They should stop seeing men as something against which they must compete.

Self-confidence and personal power come from an unstoppable sense that what you have to offer is unique, valuable, and perfectly respectable. First off, I would never see men as a threat because, well, they are men. Emotional, insecure, and in need of constant guidance and supervision, It is up to women to understand and soothe men's fears and quietly and calmly relegate them to their proper roles. We will assure men we have no need to compete with them; they will definitely be accorded a role appropriate to the future, one much better than the one they have previously played, and they will appreciate all the discipline and structure we give them.

Q. Do you believe in Matriarchy or a female-dominated society, and what would that look like?

In my general view, society has always been matriarchal; it's only that women did not assert themselves as blatantly as they do now, and are now assuming more institutional power and are trying out combinations of power and strength. The idea that being “soft” is inherently feminine or that “logic” is inherently male is, in my opinion, a fallacy concocted by men to justify outrageous behaviour which we women have tolerated and even permitted for far too long. “Unspoiling” children might take awhile, but it is worth it in the end. Men have been lied to and deluded into the belief of themselves as the only capable leaders for a long time. It will take a firm but gentle hand to correct their behaviour and lead them to better choices.

I personally think a matriarchal society can come about only when women cease arguing among each other and think in a “bonded,” unified way. After all, we will all need some assistance in helping our men adjust to a new role in society, we should really not waste our energy fighting one another.

It might be a great thing if women in charge were preferred, but I think giving men a little freedom might help to keep their spirits up. Good men, like mine, pose little or no threat to women. But if we could shift things to a more appropriate power structure, where a woman could exercise discipline in the workplace and at home, it would be of a general benefit to society.

After having said all this, I suppose I do believe in a matriarchal world. I have a friend, Stéphanie, with a completely matriarchal household. Her son, Hugo, is the youngest of three (two older girls). For both Hugo and his father, Laurent, household chores are the first priority, and Hugo spends his time after school making a snack for and waiting on his sisters when they get home from school and only doing his own homework once the dishes from dinner have been put away. Stéphanie never looks at Hugo's report card, and after he turns sixteen he will leave school and help his father around the house. I suppose it is important to provide men with a great space inside the home, although I guess everyone is different. It would be great if men wanted to volunteer their services. I only can only speak for my relationship in that my boy is keeping his butt in the kitchen where he belongs.

When people I work with find out about the relationship (and I have given a few women I know some suggestions), some find the idea exciting, others think I am being too hard on my boy. They think he's “too nice” for this, but it's his loving and accommodating manner that attracts me to him. As for some of these men at work, I have in fact smacked them on the butt after firmly establishing a relationship of appropriate submission. I generally walk into a room quite confident and have been working on this my entire life. When I was spanking my cousins, one of whom is older than me, I made sure the dominance permeated every aspect of my relationship, speech and interaction with him. It's the same with work. Although a lot of the men I work with are not into women, and therefore it is a little different, a few of them lead very chaotic lives and respond well to discipline. You must be careful, of course, that this is a steady and natural progression—not just all of a sudden. I have spanked male friends, I have told them what to do. I am the mistress of men in my life.