Monday, November 10, 2014


My friend, tom, is currently out of town on business leaving his Wife, Linda, without a housekeeper. Linda doesn’t do housework – none of the Women in our group of FLR couples does! Real men – not Women - do housework! These Women need not worry, however – one of the other Women’s husbands can be loaned out to her for the duration.
So – i’m on loan to Linda for the two weeks that Her husband is gone. She made arrangements with (my Mother-in-law) Sue to borrow me to do a variety of tasks in tom’s absence. I has all been worked out between Linda and Sue; tom and i had nothing whatever to do with the arrangement – we, as men, can’t make such arrangements.

Every weekday for the next two weeks i’ll report to Linda for two hours a day – longer on weekends – and do a prescribed set of chores to keep things in Her house running smoothly. It goes without saying that i’ll obey Her and do things Her way.

Linda, a Deity in Her own right!

Linda, tom’s Wife is a VERY demanding, in-your-face Woman, in some ways very much like, yet in other ways quite unlike, Nancy. Linda demands obedience, and there is hell to pay if She doesn’t get it. While Nancy and Sue give me some latitude in my work and in addressing the consequences of my mistakes, Linda is always watching closely, ready to give a crisp admonition or a good kick at every turn. She has a demeaning style that creates a tense environment. She strives to tear down the patriarchal male and replace him with a different, more obedient, even effeminate one. She believes that men need this because “men will stray if you don’t tell them exactly what to do.”

Linda despises patriarchy and does Her best to dismantle it, one man at a time! A good example is the names She uses for tom and me. tom is “Tootsie” and i’m “SuziQ.” And each of us better use these names when we’re in Her home, although we’ll both admit to some slip-ups at work. And then theres the service uniform. Linda has initiated many of the wardrobe rules for male housekeepers and these rules continue to evolve. Just like the servants of the Edwardian period, aprons, slippers, and appropriate accessories are mandatory. It’s not enough to do housework; a male has to do housework appropriately attired!

More on Linda

tom and i met Linda at work. She was a very demanding administrative assistant who later became office manager. In fact, Linda created and filled the position of office manager, and no one would dare challenge Her authority. Linda raised hell and created a certain tension, but kept the office running very efficiently. Most of the men in the office steered clear of her, referring to Her as the “office bitch.” It was a title and demeanor that immediately got both tom and me interested. Had i not been engaged to Nancy at that point, tom would have had some competition for Linda’s hand. tom married the demanding Linda. and both have been happy ever since.

Housekeeping for Linda - a privilege for the progressive male

As per Linda’s arrangements with Sue whenever tom is unavailable to fulfill his domestic duties, i show up each day at 4 p.m. for at least two hours of housekeeping. i take my wardrobe, cleaning supplies, and a list of chores that Sue has given me and go straight to Sue’s house. i pull into the driveway, and She opens one of the garages for me to pull in. She will not let me leave until my chores have been completed. I bring a large motif totebag with everything i need to do my chores and to be appropriately dressed.

Linda has mops and brooms, but i’m responsible for cleaning supplies, my feather duster, and miscellaneous items. i’m also responsible for my wardrobe – an apron to be sure, but also slippers and some appropriate accessories that Linda appreciates, earrings, a bangle or two, and something else a “bit girlie to “take off the masculine edge,” in Linda’s terms, maybe even a headpiece. This may sounds funny, but it is exciting for me to comply with Linda’s rules and it certainly does distance me from any masculinity and instill humility. i feel much better about myself in Linda’s service when i lose any traces of male persona!

So, when i pull into the Linda’s garage, i have five minutes to transform myself from a businessman to housekeeper, from dennis to SuziQ! i shed my business suit, throwing it into the back seat. i pull on shorts, a sleeveless top, and my lace-trimmed, satin apron. i’ve already used the time at traffic lights to put on large hoop earrings – i get strange looks from men in pickup trucks! – and silver rings on all of my fingers, things that I hope Linda will appreciate (tom often wears the same earrings). A few bangles and i’m ready with the exception of having forgotten my slippers! There’s sure to be hell to pay since male shoes and bare feet are forbidden in Linda’s domain. But it’s too late…

Linda has entered the garage. i’m tense since i don’t have slippers, but i greet Her with the expected curtsey – “Good afternoon Madame, i’m here to serve!”

“Good afternoon, SuziQ,” She responds, in a devilish tone, but soon She’s enraged at my having forgetten my slippers. “Is it too damn much for you to bring slippers?” She demands, giving me a swift kick. She disappears into the house to get a substitute, a pair of knee-hi nylons. “Put these on, sissy boi,” She commands, wanting to humiliate me. i put on the beautiful sheer nylons, but they are a treat and not a punishment, although i don’t dare say so. i follow Her into the house to tend to my chores.

There is a long list of things Linda wants done. She’s very aggressive in dealing with me, something that i have come to expect and appreciate. Toilets are first, all of them have to be cleaned; Women despise and disdain cleaning toilets more than any other household chore. Because of this i love cleaning toilets; doing so gives me a real sense of service, and the Women really appreciate my efforts – now that’s service!

Then i move on to the living room. Linda has had guests, and there’s a lot of cleaning to do. Cups to pick up, tables to clean, TV remotes to gather and return, spot cleaning of the carpet because of a spill, romance novels to gather so their owners can find them. Then there’s vacuuming; i have to vacuum the entire house, but i love running the vacuum! Linda follows me as I vacuum, “Faster, faster” She exhorts me!

Then onto the kitchen where i unload the dishwasher and reload it with cups and saucers gathered from about the house. Finally, Linda, like Sue, loves to see my feather duster flying about the house. And it does fly, as i move about the house dusting everything in sight, my lace trimmed satin apron swishing with every move! i’m giving Her what i feel is great service and feeling damn good about it! It is, in our FLR-defined world, the feel of a real man! As for Linda, She’s following me about the house, criticizing my performance and having me do more. For a submissive gentleman, this is a delicious experience! i feel totally divorced from patriarchy – totally fulfilled! – and want more, and i tell Linda that!

She promises more when i return next day. She’d keep me all evening but She has a commitment to Sue to return me for Her chores. Linda escorts me to the garage and into my car. She allows me no time to change – i’m to go home as SuziQ, apron, earrings, bangles, and all.  I’m tremendously excited and fulfilled and look forward to tomorrow.

I leave as SuziQ, looking to repeat two hours of high-energy performance for Sue, waiting at home. It’s what a real man lives for – the opportunity to serve Women!


Anonymous said...

Isn't it nice when a Woman feels so relaxed that She has no inhibitions in showing her emotions and correcting a male when he transgresses against one of the rules She has devised. She feels confident in Her authority and in your submission that She can kick you.

I know we all here want to destroy the patriarchy but its nice to have it re enforced by a stern Woman who wants to irradicate any ideas of male privelage that might lurk in the corners of our minds.


tony said...

I would add to femsup's good comments that it's good to see the ladies offering their husbands when someone is in need of domestic services, and apparently there are few, if any, limits on what type of work will be required. There is obviously an agreement of some sort between the women, but in this group I'm sure there is no questionable activity. The men are there to work and help out period. This is as it should be. I like that and I like the trust that the women have in one another.

Richard said...

Dennis, Please tell us more about your liking of women's clothes and jewelry. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it. You seem to be a pioneer in a new lifestyle.


Anonymous said...

Linda is the type of woman who can be easily misunderstood and misjudged. My own wife is the same type of demanding and strict lady, and for years this caused friction between us as I believed this was some sort of character flaw that she needed to change. Yet, I learned later that she was the absolute perfect woman just the way she was and it was my own perception that was wrong.

If only I had the information available earlier about what this sort of woman really is all about, what makes her tick, and why she is actually far superior to the agreeable doll, much trouble could have been saved.

Awakened Husband

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to femsup:

Linda realizes i have limited time to serve Her and She wants me to make the best use of it so everything is double time; and She closely supervises to make sure it is. She might apply a little motivation here and there, too. Usually this is some good in-my-face motivational speaking. That starts in the garage where She greets me, and has me stand for inspection; it's not a salute but a curtsey as She looks me over, checking my attire and my cleaning supplies. Then it's off to start my list of tasks. Unlike Nancy Linda is in-my-face and is always checking up on my progress. "You call that clean, SuziQ?" Linda could well have been a drill instructor - "Ma'am, Yes Ma'am!!!" And She does Her best to tear down any patriarchal hesitation. "Move it, SuziQ! Move it!" All very satisfying to the progressive male; keep your patriarchy; i love what i have!

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to tony:

In Nancy's family men always helped out if another was out of town - the motto was 'Women need to be served!' and they were. And all to the same high standards - the Protocols applied family-wide. At at family gatherings, the men would congregate in the kitchen exclusively, preparing meals, serving drinks and the like. There was rarely a Woman in the kitchen and when She was, She was there to supervise.

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Richard:

It's all about renouncing patriarchy, plain and simple. An apron certainly says 'housekeeper!' and some earrings or a few bangles are both a reward and a statement of belief that Women are to be emulated to the extent they allow...
Feminist scholars have written much about dress, first saying that Women don't need to dress like men to be seen as equal (or superior!). True! Rather, they conclude, Women should retain their options for dress and possibly even offer them to men. But we add, Women should only offer such things to men when men behave appropriately as regards patriarchy being on the demise and more Women being in positions of authority. Nevertheless, a Woman's home is Her castle and She dictate as She sees fit in all matters.
Kaitlin has discussed dress on numerous occasions and explains that Women can emulate male attire because they – Women – are seen as the lesser gender trying to emulate the (perceived) superior gender – men. She poses the question that when Women attain broad authority and power, will men then seek to emulate Women's attire? Maybe, She postulates, but only if Women permit it, and They may not. So, concluding, I'm simply doing what I'm told by the Women I serve and They prescribe what they do for good reason...

Anonymous said...

Your description of Linda shows that you appreciate her strength and ability to put a man in his place to get things done. I think a woman like Linda is attractive because a man knows he has no chance of standing up to a self-confident woman. I share your belief that men need to shed their patriarchal mindset, and a disciplinarian like Linda is very helpful in doing that. A man who knows his place is not humiliated by her, but is awed by her leadership and power. The world would be a better place if there were more women like Linda.


Chris Ballard said...

I just found your blog. Omg I thought my wife Sheryl and I were unique. There is a world of change happening. We had lived the traditional life until I lost my job. We both had been working and sharing the domestic responsibilities.
I just took over domestic chores and we evolved. Sheryl slowly started to remind me of missed chores or directing me when I failed to do my chores correctly and this seemed normal. It wasn't until I was returning several nighties and bras to Macy's for Sheryl that it dawned on me something had changed. The young woman clerk as me if I wanted to exchange them for better fitting nighties. While driving home it struck me that I was now the subservient partner in our relationship. I had morphed into the traditional wife. When Sheryl and I talked about it that night she giggled and said that perhaps I should have let the woman clerk find me a couple of cute nighties.
All pretense of an equal relationship is gone now. Even her sister now calls me Chrissy, Sheryl's wife or when angry Sheryl's bitch. The weird thing is I like being her "wife".
Thank you for this very helpful blog and I now have those nighties.

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Chris, just above:

When a man embraces domestic chores, new dynamics come into play, just as you experienced in your relationship. As the man accepts more domestic chores, She takes more control and before long they have a complete role reversal! Wonderful! And, our experience is, it doesn't stop! Rather it keeps on going and going. In our case we never could have imagined just how far we've gone or how deeply satisfying it could be.

Couples in traditional relationships sometimes complain of their relationship going into a rut or getting routine - believe me, FLRs don't get into a rut - they are forever changing, forever dynamic, forever getting more exciting!


Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to the comment from "LS" two above:

i loved your statement "a man who knows his place is not humiliated by her, but is awed by her leadership and power." So true! i love serving Women and do so in a number of situations - at the Center, when working at the Boutique, assisting the Housekeepers at the hotel, serving at home, or serving Linda or one of Nancy's other friends in our circle. At no time do i ever feel humiliated! How could i? Each situation is a wonderful, fulfilling opportunity. For the progressive gentleman, what other men see as humiliation morphs into excitement and leaves me wanting more!


Anonymous said...

Isnt it an option doing the housework nude (or almost nude) in front of the women (at least for your closest Sue or Nancy)? Something in the CFNM-direction to make the submission even a little bit bigger? I think this would fits quiet good to the rest of your roles in the FLR. Was there still a thought about?

Mark Remond said...

Anonymous (just above): dennis has already addressed this practice, and has described the kind of cleaning apparel he is required to wear by his Wife, Mother-in-Law and Linda. That does not mean CFNM is not a useful practice in wife-led marriages or FLRs, if desired by the female authority.

ALL HERS said...

How great that your wife will lend you out to her friend for maid service. It gives you a different perspective of a FLR and how another woman can dominate you. My wife and I have a great WLM, but sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to have to serve another dominant woman and cater to her. Would she be just as strict with cleaning (in your case yes), and how would she treat me? You are getting to experience this with Lynda, and in the future with more women . Very lucky guy you are!!,

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to ALL HERS directly above:

i've been loaned for plenty of maid service and it does provide an enlightening perspective on how other Women run their household. In our small circle there's an understanding among all - Women and men - that men will be expected to cover for each other in the event one man has to travel and it's travel on business, incidentally. In our circle of friends the men are expected to do all the housework. Housekeeping is man's work and men are expected to do it and men want to do it. Women simply don't do housework! i would feel totally out of place were i not to do housework or do any other task that was expected of me. So, Women make arrangements for each others husbands to cover when one of the men is out of town. In this way i've served six Women within our group and this doesn't include the Women for whom i've done practicum for as part of the courses taught at the Women's Center or as part of the cleaning services offered by our worship congregation.

Each Woman sets Her expectations and standards and we carry out Her wishes accordingly. Under this arrangement the visiting housekeeper doesn't have a lot of time - usually only two hours a day - and has to get a lot done so it's expected he'll arrive on time, change into his uniform quickly, and report to the Lady of the House for instructions. All of the men are well trained and experienced so there usually aren't any issues with quality of the work, only the speed with which it gets done. The Women often expedite because they want to pack as much work into the two hours that they can get - and we men want it that way, too. Visiting housekeepers usually do cleaning chores and generally keep the Lady's house in order. There may be some laundry and ironing but that depends on Her wishes and isn't typical. Vacuuming , dusting, picking up, washing dishes, making beds, and cleaning toilets are typical fare. Occasionally the Lady will send me to run errands but, again, that's not typical.

While i'm supporting one of the men, tom, for example, tom and i do not make the arrangements. Rather, when tom's going out of town he informs Linda who then contacts other Women to determine who will be covering for Her husband. i often cover for tom by serving Linda but not always. The Women will bring in different men for the sake of letting each man showcase his skills. Linda will have me one week and the next time might have dan. It's all well arranged; i have an assigned arrival time and i better not be late! When the work is completed i'm given a card with arrival and departure time, chores accomplished, and Her satisfaction to give to Nancy or Sue.

It works out very well. Since the reason for coverage is because of business travel some men have informed their boss that before accepting an out-of-town trip of more than a day he has to get his Wife's permission. One of the things that will determine whether permission is granted is the ability of the Women to get commitment for another Woman's man for housekeeping. That done, there's usually little reason for not granting permission.

Usually, i'm serving Women within our social group but not always. My Boss, Carol, routinely directs me to Her home for housekeeping. and i serve Women in ways beyond housekeeping, working at a Woman's Boutique and as a maid at a local hotel; both situations are run by Sue's Woman-friends.

So, thanks for your post; being on loan is a great way to get experience and, yes, i'm a lucky guy as is any man in a position to serve a Woman!


Anonymous said...

I have done work for others and try my very hardest to please the Woman in charge of the household.

It is good to work alongside other males in the Woman's household accepting my services.

I learn new techniques from any other males and also if there is time I learn from the hubby going away just how his superior likes things done and how to do them just as god as he.

It can be a chastening experience to come back to my partners household and to be told that so and so did so much better a job than you. It spurs one on to do better.

Some people though can take advantage of the situation and put far to much work onto me and there is one lass who did this again and again.

The Women stopped allowing their lads to work for Her and there were quiet words exchanged.


Anonymous said...

Its a two way street though. The Lady in question who others felt had abused Her privelage in my opinion was wronged by oen of our number who served Her.

He was by all accounts surly and rude and disobedient and questioned Her on the day. A boy should never do that! He should get on with the work to the best of his ability and possibly talk to his usual Woman in authority over him later.

Boys should not carp or cavil over this or that task assigned to them by their temporary boss. So they don't normally clean that way or in that order. Well that's just the way the temporary ruler likes things done in Her house.


Anonymous said...

I have to agree with you. My wife, and I are into our 12th year of me being female led so I now know very well what is expected. How she likes her skirts hung up, and the bed made etc. She rarely chastises me for much. So to keep me sharp, she began 'lending' me to her sister who is very demanding, and demeaning for two days per month. My sister in law has my wife's permission, and my consent to take a leather strap to my bottom when I'm not proficient enough for her liking.

I actually look forward to these days with excitement, yet trepidation. She rules with a military attitude, and it's just what I need to remember how it was when we were starting out those 12 years ago. I have thanked my sister in law many times for allowing me to clean her home, and for ruling over me with her frequent tongue, and belt lashings. It should not have surprised me, but when I return home from a day at my sister in law's house, I am much more attentive to details, and punctuality at home.

Edward said...

i can well imagine there would be competition between the men to be the best housekeeper while on loan! i know i would not want to be the one with the reputation of not being wanted on loan by other women in the group due to slow shoddy housework.

Mark Remond said...

dennis responds to Edward above:

You make a very good point about one's housekeeping prowess! None of us would want to be judged as sub-par in our work. While i wouldn't call it competition there certainly is a great deal of pride in our housekeeping skills. As opposed to competing, we tend to share tips and expertise and are always striving to enhance our skills. Housekeeping is sure to be discussed among the men whether it's during a chance contact, at work, during a 'men's night out', or in responding to a call from one of the guys with a particular problem. A guy who recently took up the housekeeping called to ask for a stain removing tip as well as some advice on ironing a blouse; i was only too happy to help. i'm known as a being very good at the ironing board - a point of pride! - and often get requests for advice on ironing. As for the guy who called for the ironing advice, Sue invited his Wife and him to our place a few nights later with a specific request that he bring his iron and a few items to iron. While the Ladies socialized, i was able to give michael some hands on ironing lessons which he appreciated.

Being a good housekeeper means being able to competently tackle any domestic chore and do it properly, with speed, and to the complete satisfaction of the Woman one is serving, whether it be at home or on loan. So we don't compete, we share, and the passion we each have is focused on developing and enhancing our skills.

Coincidentally, my friend, tom, was away on business this week so i was on loan to Linda for the duration, so i showed up at Her home two hours a day, apron on, ready to work. i enjoyed serving Her and hope that She found my work to be up to Her standards... And, finally, i not only get loaned to other Women within our social circle but to a Woman who runs housekeeping at a local hotel, to a Woman's Boutique where i occasionally work, and for housework for my Boss, Carol.


Mark Remond said...

Lady Susan responds to Edward:

I had to laugh at the concern expressed by Edward in his response to the subject post:

" i can well imagine there would be competition between the men to be the best housekeeper while on loan! i know i would not want to be the one with the reputation of not being wanted on loan by other women in the group due to slow shoddy housework".

This is so indicative of the problems men have, they are always looking to compete with each other and when they do they all lose! Women on the other hand are confronted with a problem and they work together to get it done; everyone contributes and the end result is shared! It's a win-win for everyone! Men do the opposite trying to go it alone and compete with others, probably ending up further behind.

Fortunately for the men on our little social circle who routinely do housework they've learned from women and have all but banished the competitive male response. Instead they collaborate and share information which benefits everyone. So dear Edward, sharing and working together is the way to get ahead, bringing the entire group up instead of competing with each other. That's what works. And it works in our little circle where we rarely see "shoddy housework". Men can learn much from women if they only take the time to ask and listen.

Edward said...

Thank you Lady Susan for publicly pointing out my attitude problem for all to read. In the future I will remember not to focus on what others are doing. Instead I will listen to my superior, and do what I am told to the best of my ability while striving to improve. You were right to take my ego down a notch or two, and teach me to refocus my attitude. I apologize for such a silly comment, and again thank you for correcting me.