From Mark
Remond: I must apologize to readers of this blog. In the final paragraph of
the preceding post (from dennis), I misinterpreted dennis’ email to me on
reader contributions to Kaitlin’s ongoing research on FLRs. She is not
looking to post an FLR questionnaire on this site. What She is trying to do,
dennis explains, is broaden the number of Women and couples from whom she can
get information, to see if the trends She’s seeing so far hold up.
More
specifically, Kaitlin is looking for Women and couples who are willing to share
information about their relationship and experiences, particularly as regards
the authority and latitude the Woman have exercised over the course of the
marriage. She’s looking for Women first, and then, ideally, Husbands who can
speak to their relationship with a strong Woman. And because Kaitlin is
interested in historical trends, She is interested in information from strong
Women who had to exert that strength in an era of strict gender roles featuring
stereotypically weak Females.
Kaitlin is
also interested to learn how men married to strong and assertive Women during
these decades coped? Yes, there were many such husbands, according to Kaitlin’s
research thus far, husbands who were seeing other men on TV who fit the macho
mold while they were obediently putting on aprons and taking instructions from
their Wives on domestic duties. Why were so many men absolutely thrilled with
this arrangement when it defied patriarchal conventions?
According
to Kaitlin the best male interviews are from:
§
Men
who describe surrendering their patriarchal authority to a Woman as soon as
they walked in the door
§
Men
who feared their Wives; many fearing Her temper, let alone Her discipline
§
Men
who shopped with their Wives – a no-no back in the “Father Knows Best” era –
dutifully standing by as She tried on and subsequently bought outfits and then
carrying Her bags as She shopped store-to-store
§
Men
accommodating their Wives’ social activities by staying at home and tending to
household chores
§
Men
who wouldn’t dare come home at least once a week without flowers or candy for a
demanding lady
§
Strong
businessmen who dutifully surrendered their pay to their Wife, recognizing Her
authority and never questioning Her
§
Men
who played the powerful man role at a party with his Wife on his arm, only to
surrender to Her in the car
Readers who
meet Kaitlin’s suggested criteria, and who are willing to provide information
along these lines, are invited to write to me — markremond@yahoo.com – and I will
forward your emails on to dennis, and ultimately to Kaitlin. Please note the
following from dennis, however: “While Kaitlin would love inputs from a few
select men, Her real interest is seeking Women's inputs around such
experiences.”
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