With
the holidays approaching, men are looking for gifts for the Women in their
lives. i volunteer in a Woman’s Boutique at busy times of the year year selling
everything from business suits to lingerie. i often serve Women in the shop and
love doing so, but my primary responsibility is serving men who come in –
bewildered - looking for gifts. But occasionally there’s the knowledgeable,
fashion aware, sophisticated gentleman who obviously enjoys shopping for the
Woman in his life – his Queen. For such sophisticated gentleman i offer the
following:
Gifts aren’t just for the holidays – We’ll discuss
this in another post, but gifts can and should be given your Wife all year
round.
She’s expecting something nice – not necessarily
expensive – but something thoughtful that shows you notice Her and Her sense of
style. She knows that you are likely on a limited budge since She controls the
finances but getting Her a gift is an absolute necessity!
Paying for it – Have a budget.
Men in an FLR are likely on a limited one, but that’s not an excuse! She likely
has you on an allowance so budget accordingly; set monies aside whenever you
receive your allowance. i set aside 50% of my allowance for gifts for Nancy,
Her Mother, and other important people in my life. Often Women will allow their
man extra monies during the holidays. Although most men in an FLR won’t have
access to it, NEVER charge anything to Her credit card!
Get some ideas – Ask Her friends
and relatives what She wants. Ask early so you can plan and visit stores,
particularly if She wants a technology gift such as a tablet. Remember that
even though She wants a “big” gift, it SHOULDN’T BE HER ONLY GIFT! Plan and
budget accordingly.
Look for discounts – Department
stores have coupons and sales; take advantage. If there are after-hours sales i
take advantage of them, but only if i have permission from Nancy or Sue to be
out at odd hours
Shop early – If your Wife is
a popular size – a 6-8, for example – you may find Her size in that perfect
skirt is out of stock... Rember, an “I owe you a gift” card doesn’t work – shop
early!
Catch up on fashion – You’re likely to
be buying clothes, so learn what’s in vogue. Window-shop, visit stores, and
read fashion magazines. i subscribe to a fashion magazine as does Sue; i enjoy
perusing the pages and getting ideas for gift-giving.
Know her sizes – Nothing
frustrates me more than to have a customer come in and not know sizes! he’ll go
through the “Oh, She’s about this tall” thing and look like a helpless puppydog.
i’m not sympathetic. As a minimum you should know the following:
§
Dress size – usually even
numbers, 2-4-6-8-10-12-14, and so on – check the dresses in Her closet
§
Bra size – usually a number
and a letter, 34C, 38DD, and so on
§
Panty size – can be
numerical, 5-6-7-8, or correspondingly, S-M-L-XL
§
Outer wear size – coats may be
S-M-L-XL
§
Shoe size and width
§
Pantyhose – usually
A-B-C-D-E-F
§
Ring size – yes, ring size,
numerical sizes starting at 5-6-7-8, may have half sizes, too. Take one of Her
rings that fits to a jeweler, who’ll be able to instantly determine your Wife’s
size. Buy a ring ½ size larger if it’s a wide ring...
Know Her preferences – notice Her and
what She likes:
§
Clothing
colors
§
Cosmetics
– favorite brands
§
Perfumes
– favorites
§
Dusting
powder
§
What
does She read? Steamy romances? Mysteries? Favorite authors? You should know!
§
Does
She do crafts? Find out, perhaps there’s a gift here!
§
Pantyhose
brand, shade, and style
Some suggestions and comments
Business suit – A coordinated
outfit for work is always appreciated. A business suit can come with skirt or
slacks or both, which enhances the flexibility of the outfit. Select a jacket
and matching skirt, a blouse, scarf, and a quality costume jewelry item, a
necklace, earrings, or a bracelet.
Party dress – “The Little
Black Dress” - a nice dress is always appreciated; match it with a scarf or
wrap. Buy the dress based on what She likes, not what you’d like to see Her in.
Don’t buy Her a strapless dress or one slit to the hip if it’s not Her style.
AND if you buy Her a dress, it’s expected you’ll take Her someplace where She
can wear it – a party, a concert, a fancy restaurant – you should have this
arranged...
Club dress – a club dress is
a bit more risqué than the little black dress. A wide variety can be had and
they are more expensive than the little black dress. Hemlines are shorter,
slits are higher, and necklines are definitely more revealing. No need to
arrange a night out, a club dress is for Girl’s night out!
Sweater – something She’ll always
appreciate; knowing Her bra size can help when buying a sweater – buy quality
and She’ll have it for many seasons.
Shoes
– I don’t advise buying shoes since you may have a size issue, but if She’s
looking for that special pair of pumps, then buy them. Be sure to get Her size
and be sure that they can be exchanged for another size after the holidays; the
concern here isn’t exchange policy but rather whether the shoe will be
available
Jewelry – A Woman can’t have too many rings
or too many earrings! Start by seeing what She has and plan accordingly. Hoops
of various sizes and shapes are always appreciated, as are bangles and
bracelets. Fun-to-wear dangling earrings are a hit, too - it seems that the
bigger the better here! i look for quality pieces that go beyond the norm.
Lingerie – Buy quality lingerie at either a
specialty store or the lingerie department of a big department store. They’re
likely to have wide selections and knowledgeable sales help. i’ve always enjoyed
visiting the lingerie department – it’s a celebration of Women, what with all
the colors and styles to be had. Wonder among the rows and racks of pretty
things, everything on its own hanger to be examined and felt, all attesting to
what we know already – Women are special. Some hints for lingerie:
Bra - You know Her bra size but don’t buy Her
a bra, that’s just not right. Instead buy Her a matching bra-panty set, you’ll
see many styles and colors for both bra and panties and might want to buy Her
one bra but with two panty styles to go with it. To add a bit of excitement add a matching garter belt and, if you do, don’t forget to buy nylons. i’d
advise a color that coordinates with the ensemble but not the same color, i.e.,
taupe stockings with black lingerie.
Peignoir – A luxurious nightgown ensemble is
sure to be appreciated; combines a nightgown and a coat or jacket; it’s usually
long – ankle length, but can be shorter. Add a coordinated panty to the
ensemble. A specialty shop will have the mandatory high-heeled malibu slipper
as an accessory, thigh-hi nylons with a lace top add to the outfit. For
entertaining at home a peignoir goes from after dinner drinks to the boudoir!
Panties
– While i wouldn’t buy Nancy a bra, i would buy Her panties; 3-6 pairs of
individually chosen panties in a small box with tissue paper and perhaps a
sachet; a variety of colors and styles are in order. She’ll love knowing you
ventured into the lingerie department to select them. i’ve also used a box of
panties as gift wrap; one year i included a diamond tennis bracelet in the box.
And a final note on panties; don’t even think of buying packaged panties from a
discount store – the last guy who did that is wearing them!
Hosiery – i consider pantyhose and nylons
as lingerie for Her legs. Pantyhose used to be a staple of a Woman’s wardrobe
but has declined in recent years. Nevertheless, in-charge Women wear them
religiously and can’t have too many pairs. i make sure i get Her style and
color She wears and then try a few different styles/colors. For example,
control top, sheer toe, business sheer in a neutral color for daily wear. i’ll
include ultra sheers for dress, some sheer-to-waist for high skirts, seams, and
so on – the varieties are endless. Nylons for wear with a garter belt are also
nice as are lace-top thigh-hi stockings. She’ll love the hosiery but also that
you ventured into the hosiery department to buy them!
Perfume – It’s a holiday staple and worth
visiting the cosmetics department for. But beware, not all Women like perfume.
Nancy told me not to buy Her perfume; i did and now She has me wearing it!
The spa – Treat your Wife to a day of
pampering at an upscale spa in your area. She’ll love it. Since She won’t want
go alone, buy Her two visits so She can invite a Girlfriend.
A day of service – Some Women in
the family receive four coupons from me, each for two hours of inside work. The
coupons are printed on stock paper and presented in a fancy envelope. Sue
decides who receives the coupons and schedules my redeeming them. The coupons
are transferable so the recipient can give them to a Woman-friend if She
desires. Service is an appreciated gift that usually has me doing heavy
cleaning.
Shopping Service – Since my work at
the Boutique is well known, men always approach me, asking for help with gifts
for the Wives and Girlfriends. i’m only too happy to accommodate them – for a
fee – a flat 25% of the total bill. Gift-wrapping is extra. Nancy and Sue allow
me to keep all the money i make from the shopping service provided i spend all
of it on them and the Women in the family. Allows me to make the Women happy;
the Family’s Women as well as the Women who’ve received the gifts purchased for
them through my shopping service.
—d
Faithful
reader “Tony” (commenting on dennis’ Gift Suggestions for the Domesticated Man): “Some
of us keep our WLM quiet confidential; while others, like ALL HERS and dennis,
are not shy about revealing their wife’s power and control. For myself, this
has been a gradual experience of sharing with others. I look at it as
educational as well. The more other women see and observe the manner in which I
show my respect to my Wife and serve Her, the more they want to learn ‘Her
secret.’ We are discreet, but some in her family know, her daughters know, and
they have been present when I have had to kneel to listen and to properly give
thanks for Her attention and criticism. A few of Her female work associates also
know, and two have begun to impose WLM rules at home. It’s a slow process, but
worthwhile and helpful to others to see and learn.”
Couples
are different and so reveal the Wife’s authority in different ways – some
earlier in the relationship and some later. What is important is that Her
authority is revealed in a timely manner to an ever-widening group of family,
close friends, work associates, and so on. This, we find from our workshops,
serves to solidify the couple’s relationship and encourages others who, as you
say, “want to learn Her secret.”
She should have rules, work
responsibilities, and rituals that She can put in place the moment the couple
agrees on an FLR.
This serves to formalize Her authority and provide the husband with ways of
acknowledging that authority. His wearing an apron, kneeling in front of Her,
bowing, curtsies, kissing Her hand on demand, addressing Her as Ma’am, are all
devices that can be used. She should make it clear to him that behaviors She
prescribes are 24/7, no matter who may be visiting.
Revealing Her authority isn’t just for the
home; it has to take place in public situations, too. These should be unobtrusive
but convey an unmistakable message. For example, he takes Her arm and walks
slightly behind Her, She orders for him at a restaurant, She selects the wine,
She tells, not asks, etc. Additionally he should show other Women the same
deference and respect that he shows his Wife, addressing them as Ma’am, and so
on.
