As
noted in several recent posts, we have a set of rules within Nancy’s family
that governs how men are to behave. The list originated with Nancy’s
Grandmother, Mother and Aunts, who were all heads of household and wanted to
make it clear to their men what was acceptable behavior. The basis is that
women deserve respect and courtesy. The resultant list of rules, known as “The
Protocols,” has grown considerably both as a result of the Women seeing the
need for new rules and the men themselves making suggestions. Many outside of
Female led relationships don’t understand, but men love the structure that
rules provide in a relationship. Things are spelled out and as long as men toe
the line, there are no issues. The Protocols are rather broad and include, but
are not limited to, the following:
The Primary Protocols
·
The
Protocols are the written embodiment of Female authority and are to be followed
to the letter! There is no excuse for noncompliance.
·
Only
Women can establish, alter, or negate The Protocols.
·
Women
make the rules; men follow them.
·
men
are permitted to suggest additional rules they feel would better improve their
performance; women can accept, reject, or modify these as they see fit. If seen
fit, the new rule becomes part of The Protocols and is extended family-wide as
a means of ensuring consistent male behavior.
·
Through
the journals they are required to keep, men can suggest new Protocols or
enhancements to existing ones, but men are not allowed to petition for the
removal or easing of any Protocol; doing so is a cause for discipline.
·
men
questioning the validity of a Protocol are subject to discipline.
·
men
will maintain a listing in a dedicated book of all Protocols for their
reference; entries will be in ink using cursive writing.
·
The
Book of Protocols will be kept in a place of honor where it is readily
available; Women, of course, can consult the Book of Protocols.
·
When
a new Protocol is established, men will be informed and receive appropriate
instruction; they are required to enter this new Protocol into their dedicated
book as well as into their daily journal. Doing this indicates they recognize
their obligations under the new Protocol.
·
New
Protocols will be communicated to the Women of the Family for incorporation
into their Protocol Book.
·
men
are expected to know The Protocols and can be questioned on them at any time.
·
men
are required to understand that The Protocols are for their benefit and are to
be committed to following them.
·
men
are required to support other men in upholding The Protocols and correct them
when necessary. A Protocol failure on the part of one man is the fault of all
present and appropriate punishment or loss of privileges may follow for all
·
Women
have the right and obligation to correct, reprimand, and/or administer
discipline to any man violating The Protocols even if that violation is
unintentional.
·
If
men observe another man violating The Protocols, being disrespectful to Women,
holding any of the Protocols in contempt, or behaving in any way that would be
contrary to the wishes of the Women, he is obligated to bring this to the
attention of the Women, whether or not the Women are family members
·
men
are forbidden to discuss the personal lives, behaviors, etc., of any Woman.
·
men
are obligated to discuss the personal lives, behaviors, etc., of any man to his
Wife; She will determine the appropriate dissemination of information provided
by Her husband
·
men
are required to support other men in upholding The Protocols and to correct
them when necessary. A Protocol failure on the part of one man is the fault of
all present and appropriate punishment or loss of privileges will follow for
all.
Everyday Protocols
·
men
are to speak only when spoken to or when asked for a comment.
·
men
must address women with appropriate courtesy—“Yes, Ma am!” or in whatever way a
woman prefers, “Yes, Aunt Jane,” “No, Mrs. Smith,” “Madame!”
·
men
must respond immediately when summoned by a Woman and present themselves for
service with a “Yes, Ma am” and a stoop and bow.
·
men
must wear an apron when doing housework and at any time they are serving women.
·
men
must learn how each Woman wants Her tea, coffee, or whatever Her preferred
drink and always be prepared to serve it to Her whether She is in residence or
visiting.
·
men
must serve tea, coffee, and drinks using the established formal method; casual
service is not appropriate and will not be tolerated.
·
men
must learn the proper way of lighting a cigarette for a Woman.
·
men
must maintain, at their own expense, an ample supply of the preferred
cigarettes for the Women in the household and for Female family visitors and
friends.
·
men
are permitted to smoke only when given express permission by a Woman; men
cannot ask permission to smoke no matter the circumstances; it is a privilege
that must be unilaterally extended by a Woman.
·
men
are permitted to drink only when given express permission by a Woman; men
cannot ask permission to drink no matter the circumstances; it is a privilege
that must be unilaterally extended by a Woman.
·
Since
men have a primary duty of service, their drinking is restricted to personal
time when specifically permitted.
·
men
are expected to send, at their own expense, personalized birthday and holiday
cards to Women within the family.
·
men
are not permitted to answer the phone, as this detracts from their domestic
duties; if a Woman answers the phone and determines that a man can take a call,
she will direct him to a phone and has the option of staying on the line to
monitor that call. In no circumstance should a man be on the phone for more
than five minutes, no matter the reason.
·
Housework
is the responsibility of the man and he will perform it to the satisfaction of
the Women on the schedule they establish.
·
Women
manage the finances and control the money.
·
men
should keep a diary of their activities, suggestions, Protocol changes, and of
key dates, anniversaries, names of boyfriends, cigarette, drink, perfume, preferences,
etc.; diaries are not private and can be read by the Women at any time.
Again,
this is not a complete list but representative of The Protocols in place in
Nancy’s family; these may be used as a model for a similar effort by others.
–dennis