Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Going Public With Wife-Worship
One of the obvious points of getting married is formalizing the relationship commitment in front of family, friends, and surrounding society, including its institutions. A commitment that enfolds and protects the nascent family, which is the basic unit of a culture, a civilization.
Which, of course, is because the family protects and nurtures children, and launches them into responsible adulthood. As author George Gilder put it in his book, Men and Marriage (quoted on p. 6 of my book): “Women manipulate male sexual desire in order to teach men the long-term cycles of female sexuality and biology on which civilization is based.”
In some primitive tribes, the man is required to pick up the child he has sired and acknowledge paternity and his commitment to support the child. Without that tightly woven social bond, connecting ejaculation with fatherhood, virile young males remain rogues, functioning as tribal gangs, outside the social compact.
For men and women in wife-worship or wife-led marriages, “going public” can be extremely difficult and socially risky. Most often there is no surrounding social structure of friends, family, and sympathetic institutions to sanction a role-reversal union, a lack that is sorely lamented by most FLR couples.
As Au876 wrote on Lady Misato’s original Wife Worship forum several years back, “Deep down (and maybe not so deep) I think all of us want others to know about our devotion to our wives. That is why we like this forum, we are free to tell someone else. It excites us to have others know. Maybe someday it will become a more accepted lifestyle.” Indeed, most of us are proud of serving our wonderful wives and wish we could tell the world of the joy and fulfillment this lifestyle brings us.
To take baby steps in that direction, more and more FLR couples seem to be renewing their marriage vows, this time with the wife pledging to “love, cherish and guide” and the husband to “love, honor, worship and obey,” or variations thereof. While these marriage renewals are often intimate, private ceremonies, many of the participants would welcome an opportunity to make their affirmations as public declarations, with pride and joy and appropriate fanfare.
And some are doing exactly that.