Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Male Mutiny -- To Quell or Not to Quell

On the SheMakesTheRules message board recently, there were several postings about husbands rebelling from the FLR status — after having begged for it!

One husband described his occasional bouts of mutinous behavior in this way: “I can become sullen, stubborn, or willful at times due to various reasons, and this causes tension between Goddess and myself.”

“Why do guys do this?” one of the women moderators asked. Meaning, once their fantasy becomes reality, why do they “balk and rebel and generally act pissy when the woman starts exercising her authority? Are they testing? If so, what is the best way to deal with you in this mood? How should she bring the relationship back to a healthy FLR status?”

The responses were thoughtful, insightful. Most of the male posters counseled wives to be understanding and tolerant. Consensus: Adjusting to an FLR and submissive status takes time, no matter what a guy’s fantasies have been, and the wife should be understanding of occasional rebellions.

The Case for Zero Tolerance

There is another FLR school of thought, of course, which advises zero tolerance of husbandly mutinies, rebellions, “pissy fits,” etc.

The oft-quoted Au876 describes how his wife-leader dealt with him on these occasions:
“I think some form of rebellion is natural no matter how deeply we want to submit. My wife refers to my small rebellions as pouting. She just waits me out and kids me about it. She says I am pouting or acting like a little boy. She thinks it is funny and childish of me. It may take me a day or two to get over it even though I try hard. When I come around she knows I am just a little more firmly under her control than I was before.”

On other occasions, however, Mrs. Au would take a firmer hand with him: “When she senses some rebellion in my attitude or actions she is quick to punish me in some way and warns me I better learn to like things the way they are.”

Au876 cites various kinds of punishments, from “writing lines” to a cut in his weekly allowance to a denial of TV or computer time.

A more frightening form of punishment is described by a worshipful husband cyber-tagged “love struck”:
“I remember in our early days my Lady responded to a similar situation by taking the initiative and telling me ‘OK if that's the way you want it - IT'S OFF!’ This worked with me on two levels: 1. I couldn't imagine going back to the way things were before, so I was mortified that I'd pushed her too far. 2. The very act of her taking control in such a dramatic manner revealed an inner strength that immediately increased my desire to serve her. The next day I was begging for her forgiveness. She gave me this and also gave me a very sore bottom to remind me of my place in the relationship.”

A philosophical summing up on this topic is offered by Lady Misato of Real Women Don’t Do Housework:
“If resistence is offered at all it will consist merely of token rebellions from time to time for the sake of his ego and to test your resolve and seriousness. In actuality, he will enjoy this as much as you do and he would be extremely disappointed if you were to back away from your new expectations of him.”

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