dennis,
I wondered if the “bitch” term (in your “Reply
TO CHLOË’S COMMENT ON REVEALING FEMALE AUTHORITY”) was used with anyone present
who was not in the lifestyle. If it was, it would seem a little harsh to those
not in the know.
--Bill
Bill,
Yes, the
term” bitch” might seem a little harsh to some, but i’m hearing it used more
and more these days in a very different context than what you might think. In
this new advanced FLR context, “bitch” is becoming a compliment. Let me explain:
My
Boss, Carol, recently introduced me to a group of Her Female Colleagues as “my
bitch,” and no one seemed disturbed or uncomfortable, me included. Subsequently
Carol has told one of Her Colleagues (in my hearing) to, “Call my bitch, and he’ll
make arrangements” – referring to my setting up a meeting. Another Woman
executive asked Carol, “Can I borrow your bitch?” for some complicated
reporting tasks.
As
you’ll see below, increasingly bitch is taken as a real compliment to males who
relish their subordinate-to-Women status. Frankly, i’m happy to be Carol’s
bitch. Carol is an executive, and being Her bitch means that She:
§
Trusts
me with tasks ranging from the trivial (i
have a cup of coffee on Her desk in the morning) to the complex (i do complex
reports and analyses for Her)
§
Is
confident in my abilities
§
Confides
in me and knows i’ll NEVER violate Her confidence
§
Trusts
me with details of Her business and personal life
§
Knows
that i’m watching Her back, anticipating Her needs, and getting things done for
Her
§
Is
confident that my work loyalty is to Her and Her alone
§
Can
count on me to be Her eyes and ears in our organization; i tell Her what’s
happening
§
Knows
i advocate for Her in every situation i find myself
§
Appreciates
that i’ll always be giving Her credit for successes
§
Takes
comfort in my taking blame when things go wrong
§
Can
give me the dirty jobs and know i’ll carry them out to the letter
§
Knows
i’m a vocal activist on Feminist issues
§
Is
able to delegate tasks and power to me, knowing i will accomplish what She
wants
§
Sees
me as one of the “girls” and not one of the “guys”
§
Knows
i care about Her and want Her to be successful
§
Will
always find Her coffee cup filled, Her car warm, and Her briefcase and tote bag
in the trunk
§
Can
count on me for the little things – cleaning Her house, taking and picking up
Her dry cleaning, pressing Her blouse when we’re on a business trip
In
this specialized context, you see, “bitch” is one of those wonderful words that
has multiple meanings: the pejorative term has been purposefully rehabilitated
it, so that, if capitalized (according to the Feminist spelling), it refers to
a strong, assertive, and vocal Woman. Similarly, “bitch” can also refer to a
Woman’s articulating Her views, usually to the discomfort of men, i.e. “bitching.”
But,
when lowercase, “bitch” is being expanded today in some FLR circles as a
colloquial term for a very capable administrative assistant. Thus my boss Carol
referring to me as Her bitch is meant, and taken, as a real compliment; my
title of “her bitch” is earned. and i’m damn proud of it. Yes, bitch can be
Female (Bitch) or male (bitch). So, in a sense, we’re both (B)bitches and
equally damn proud of the name!
--d
23 comments:
What an excellent posting!
So, in paraphrasing dennis' very eloquent words....
We modern day submissive males should not only not be ashamed of our status, we should take pride in our work and take pride in our status as bitches.
That is inspirational. Thank you so much.
an Obedient Husband
(an aspiring little bitch)
dennis,
Thank you for responding so thoroughly to my comment. I was just wondering if bitch was so common it was now used in front of non-participants in the FLM lifestyle. I am always looking for evidence of the lifestyle growing or being generally accepted and understood. - Bill
I described the quote from Chloe that she would have the little man prepare something for a get together to my wife. She was taken aback. I explained that she had probably heard the phrase "little woman". Of course she had. She immediately saw that "little man" is only fair, but kind of shocking. We are not in an FLM. -Bill
My wife has never called me bitch but after reading your post, I wish she had.
dennis responds to Bill just above:
bill,
You have stumbled into one of the many double standards that, when turned around on men, suddenly doesn't sound good to the patriarchal ear. But we're all going to have to get used to it as men and Women swap roles in the workplace and at home. Frankly, i have no problem with the term 'little man' being used in reference to me... We are in an FLR but even if we weren't i'd have no objection to it.
d
dennis responds to the first comment from Bill:
bill,
Thank you for providing the inspiration for my reply...
i don't know about generally accepted but i hear it a lot so over time i'd expect it to become part of the lexicon. It certainly is used in my circles, at home of course, but also at work. i work in a Female owned company and do volunteer work at a Woman's Center. In these venues i certainly hear (B)bitch used quite a bit in the context i noted in my response. Neither i nor any of the other men who are referred to as bitches take offense to it at all - in fact it's rather flattering given its context.
d
dennis responds to Obedient Husband:
Exactly! i'm proud to be referred to as a bitch whether at home or in work. As the title has evolved it's come to mean a capable administrator and assistant; someone loyal and trustworthy; someone who's effective and who can get things done. bitch is earned not assigned. It took a lot of work, time, and demonstrated devotion to become Carol's bitch. bitch isn't an official term, of course, but everyone knows who the (B)bitches are; we all have reputations that have grown with our skills. Being called a (B)bitch is a compliment.
d
dennis responds to cd househusband several comments above:
i assume that you are responsible for the housekeeping. Has She laid out standards for your work? Does She critique your efforts? Perhaps She's not familiar with this new and growing usage for bitch.
d
Would you say that being Carol's bitch helped your career? Or was it just the opposite? I truly admire your dedication and loyalty to her, but you giving her all the credit for success and taking blame when things go wrong probably means you missed some promotion opportunities. And how does your status affect your relationships with coworkers? You mentioned that you are her "eyes and ears". Are you being labeled as the office tattletale?
dennis replies to eust just above:
Being carol's bitch has definitely helped my career. i'm well paid, challenged, and privileged to work with and for one hell of a Woman. i perform multiple roles for Her; In addition to my role as 'bitch' i do technology planning for Carol, running one of the high tech aspects of our business. No, i'm not labeled "tattletale"; eyes and ears of the organization isn't office gossip as you obviously think; rather it's systematically assessing what's going well, want isn't and how to improve things, all in advance of their becoming issues.
There's a whole different side to being a male bitch, whether it be at home or in the work place. Being a male bitch means no matter how hard you work or how good a job you do, you will never surpass Her and you'll probably watch Her enjoy most of the rewards. You better learn fast to be happy for Her because resentment and ego has no place in this kind of relationship. Yet, if you are doing the male submissive thing properly, it is this aspect of being a male bitch that is the most satisfying of all.
Awakened Husband
dennis responds to Awakenedhusband:
you are certainly correct that no matter how hard a man tries, he will never surpass Her; that's what being a bitch is all about. In my case it's not just Carol, my Boss, that holds power but Women in general. i am in a Woman-owned company with an aggressive program of hiring and promoting Women. Women are brought in and mentored by our most talented staff and put on the fast track to greater responsibility. i've trained and mentored many, the majority of Whom have been promoted. When they move into new roles, Women frequently take male mentors with them as assistants. It's how may career advanced. i moved up with Carol, becoming Her assistant and developed in the role to the point of being Her bitch - Her loyal, do-as-i'm-told assistant
d
Hi,
Great post.
A question I like to post from time to time:
Should males be participative in politics?
Should they vote? Be voted?
Whatever the answer, shouldn't the Females be the ones to decide that?
Should males be restricted in some things that make them be more dependent in Females and show their status such as not being allowed to drive?
How lucky to be the bitch to a woman. Do everyone you listed in your post, and then clean her house also. A dream relationship for sure.
Women owned and run companies are soon going to be the norm and males are going to have to adapt to the changing reality. However, I think that it is important to see gender equality as a spring board to Female supremacy and not as and end in it's self. Workplaces need committees to examine working practices to ensure the increasingly favorable treatment of Women and set an agenda for the increasing limitation of opportunities for males and a reduction in the status of males in the organization. there is always a need to go that extra step till Female authority becomes the unquestioned and irreversible norm.
I don't know if others here have been following the Ellen Pao-Kleiner Bell case, but it may provide a prelude to some big changes in the office, at least in the corporate world, where leadership changes are needed. She lost, but in the end I believe she is the winner. I'm a product of this world too and just got more and more fed up with frat boy attitudes that seemed to remain no matter the age of the men. I loved the frat life at 20, but left it at school. We are beginning to see changes at both Board and management levels, but not quickly enough. Change is coming as the icebergs retire; let's hope faster and sooner! Then we need to get more competent women running and serving in Congress.
Please don't get upset about what I'm about to say.
I think it'd be very boring if we all concentrate only on these things. I think we ought to talk about real Matriarchy and how to bring about it.
This idea that we're going to just subjectively decide that the word "bitch" is both indicative of the bitch's low status and high status depending on whether it is referring to boys or Ladies is too subjective and in my opinion will be missed by most people who are not into FLR or Femdom or Matriarchy...
I think we should concentrate in some real ways to communicate Female Supremacy, Female leadership and Matriarchy. I think this (sorry to call it that but) nonsense about "take a term and interpret it however it fits you best to achieve your Femdom terms" is good for an FLR blog, good for BDSM clubs but not for real life.
Happy holidays to everyone who celebrates something this season and be sure to please the Females. They are Superior!
'Real' Matriarchy or Female Supremacy will not be 'brought about' by us males, in my opinion. We can help by cooperating and encouraging and behaving as we are told, but this will be decided by the Women, pure and simple. I agree with you about an over reliance in the use of terms in the lifestyle. Every relationship has it's personal style, every couple relates to one another differently. There is no cookie cutter formula that many seem to think we need. It's the women who will decide how they want to live, how their household will be run, how they will refer to their men and what they will require of their men. Our job is to be very supportive and, of course, obedient. If a woman wants to call her husband or employee 'bitch', so be it. To some that may be demeaning, to others it may be complimentary, but whatever the reason, it's Her choice, Her decision and he must accept. But remember, it's a reflection on her as well when she uses the term, good or bad. I would think, though, in most Femdom households, use of this particular term for the man would be rare and would be done so only with his agreement and understanding why it is being used. My wife has a nice loving term for me; it's her tone of voice when using it sometimes that gets me hopping and on alert! :)
This is a reply to Anonymous two above, ("Please don't get upset") from Nancy's mother, Lady Susan:
I'm so sorry that you consider the dialog “boring”. I'll be watching for your future posts about “real Matriarchy”. Based on your comments here, I'm sure they'll be both exciting and thought provoking.
Another response from Lady Susan, to the Anonymous whose post began "Women owned and run companies..."
Am I detecting a theme that we somehow need to punish men to provide opportunities for women? We do not have to “set an agenda for limitation of opportunities for males”. Frankly, most women wouldn't want this anyway – they want to be judged on their merits and on their abilities. All that's needed is to give women an opportunity to showcase their skills and get away from preconceived notions of where women do and don't belong. What's required is for women to be helped to overcome prevailing psychological attitudes and we will be just fine.
I'll go no further on this and instead let my son-in-law respond since he's been involved in developing a program for female career advancement at his company. There are also many other exciting ways to promote women-run businesses and advancement, many of which have been discussed within the posts of this blog.
By the way, women-owned companies are unfortunately far from the norm, although we're seeing increasing numbers of women in managerial ranks.--Lady Susan
Lady Susan responds to Anonymous several comments above ("Hi, Great Post!):
And why shouldn't men participate in politics? Why shouldn't they vote? 100 years ago women were in a battle to get the vote. I doubt that women today would turn around and take this hard-won right away from men. The better question here is what we have to do to get more women into elected office and into leadership positions in general. Look at any legislative or judicial body and most any corporation and you're likely to see women underrepresented as compared to their overall presence in the population. We're active in recruiting capable female candidates for office and then making our best efforts to help them win. We want to have as many women engaged in the political dialogue as possible. We want them to bring their their ideas, views, and perspectives to the political discourse.
As for the male vote, our experience is that a great many male voters, to whom you suggest we deny the ballot, in fact cast their votes for female candidates. In four recent elections where a local college conducted exit polls, women candidates collected the majority of the male vote. In two of these elections men overwhelmingly voted for female candidates where the elections brought in an all-female town council and an all-female school board.
As for your questioning men being allowed to drive – really? One needs a car to function in American society today no matter what their role. In some parts of the world women are fighting for the right to drive and women would seriously question why we would deny men a right to do something our sisters elsewhere are being denied. That said, there's no doubt that driving privileges can and should be restricted and controlled where circumstances merit.
--Lady Susan
please post anything you want! just talk to us!
Lady Susan,
I apologize.
Post a Comment